After the eggnog at the party, or the extra shots you have been sneaking out of your bottom desk drawer, you might want to consider NOT doing these things at work. I repeat, do NOT do these things at work. Although, if you do, please consider posting your reactions from doing these things at work, even though I have warned you NOT to do these things at work. I repeat, post if done, but don’t do them, but post if you do them.

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I am able to manage two things: 1) Finding excellent beer locations in the United States and 2) increasing my chances of free beer and excellent service at these locations. Since I am in the giving mood, I thought I would share my beer travel tips with all of you. While I don’t guarantee total success for everyone, I have used these techniques for years. I guess it could be the ol’ Grace Underfire charm, but I hate to waste my powers by not sharing them with the world.

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Chin up. Maine went to the haters yesterday, but eventually justice will be on our side. The youth are growing and voting. It’s going to be one hell of a time to live through. We are seeing change. We are seeing people love us and support us. We are seeing people get angry for us. We are seeing CHANGE. I have always said I wanted to be alive in the 1960s and see civil rights in action. I feel like I got my wish.

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Take advantage of a day you can fully be free of your mortal coil. Bring down the people who cause you grief in life through comedy and costume. Release the inner spirit of mirth. Come out into the darkness of the night LESBIANS. Double double toil and trouble fire burn and cauldron bubble…muahahahaha. Costume ideas for the 2009 gay!

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Grace Underfire and her wife submit themselves as candidates for a reality television show about squabbling couples. Was this a bad idea? A really bad idea? Or a really really really bad idea?

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What’s the deal with the stereotype of lesbians being vegetarian – and dare I say it – vegan? As usual, it comes from a tiny segment of dykes who partake in these curious habits and who happen to be overly vocal about it. In the real world, lesbians love steak, brazilian barbecue and of course cornbrats. The carnivorous Grace Underfire tries to give soy a chance. Does she succeed?

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Grace Underfire makes the case for reclaiming power as lesbians by encouraging us all to bed lesbian twins. Yes, you read that correctly. Does she make a compelling argument? You be the judge.

Tegan and Sara, watch out. (Ikki Twins? Sorry, we’ll pass.)

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I have only been to a few state fairs in my time on earth. I went to the New York State Fair, while in graduate school, with some enlightened lesbians who swear by their fried oreos. Growing up, I was able to go to the Orange County Fair and Los Angeles County Fair, where I bought some fetching hammer pants and surf t-shirts and sat on rides that made me toss up the funnel cakes and giant turkey legs…

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Television addiction is real. Grace Underfire chronicles her four days without television, and the withdrawal symptoms are a cause for concern. Who the hell gets so bored that she makes Excel spreadsheets about her beer and wine tastings?

Is there an equivalent of methadone for television junkies? If there isn’t, there should be.

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“God Hates The Gays!”

How many times have you run across a sign, poster, California proposition, and/or stupid person a la Fred Phelps opening their mouth and saying that statement? I don’t know about you, but it seems commonplace in my existence. When the average includes getting dirty looks and “I’d rather have him help me,” trolling blog sites detailing the most recent c…

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