Never underestimate the power of a good pair of shoes. They can make you feel sexy and powerful. If this were not an essential truth, we wouldn’t have spent so much time on this site talking about footwear. And sometimes shoe shopping can set the heart aflutter.

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I’m not going to Pride this year and informing my friends of this decision has been like coming out all over again. I sit them down, take a deep breath and say, “There’s something that I have to tell you.” and they fidget nervously like I’m about to tell them that I finally offed my crazy gay neighbor who insists on vacuuming the mulberries out of his lawn at 5a.m.

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I was a typical American for most of my life, never really knowing or caring much about soccer at all. I had never heard of the World Cup, had never seen a game, had no knowledge of crazy fans with painted faces waving flags and screaming wildly.

Then, I met my girlfriend.

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There is a children’s book called, “Is Your Mama a Llama?” in which a little llama named Lloyd asks his animal friends about their mothers. We know something that Lloyd does not, however. We know that the word that goes best with “mama” is not “llama” – it’s “drama.” So, step aside Lloyd because I need to ask, “Does Your Mama Do Drama?”

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We cannot let Vibram creep into the fashion lexicon of our community. It took long enough for us to transcend that whole Birkenstock stereotype and, if lesbians start buying these shoes en masse, we will never live it down. This is the sort of fashion mistake from which people do not recover. So, let us be vigilant. If you see a lesbian wearing these, wrestle the damn things off of her woman-lovin’ feet. Friends don’t let friends wear ugly shoes!

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So, last weekend, we settled in to watch La Cucina and I thought, “Food, wine, conversation, Leisha Hailey, what could go possibly go wrong?!” Well, it turns out that the answer to that little question is “quite a bit.”

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While Grace Chu and Grace Rooney were conquering the Dinah, I was driving to Denver via the endless stretch of nothingness known as Nebraska which had fewer lesbians and a lot less nudity than Palm Springs.

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Grace Fox is starting a new Grace the Spot personality test. Take the 10 most recent messages from your inbox and ponder what they say about you?

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I am going to confess a deep dark secret to you now – I bought the L Word Book by Jennifer Beals. Buying this book makes me feel like the biggest dork ever, like the kind of person who might scribble “Tibette Forever” on her notebook in study hall. I justified it by saying it was for charity and that I needed to keep up with lesbo pop culture but, really, I just wanted to see pretty pictures of pretty people. Do you want to know what’s in the book? Do you want some tidbits? You know you do because lesbians love those L Word actresses.

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Grace Fox is not a girly girl. Watch what happens when she gets thrown into a tribe of them. Hilarity ensues. Or maybe it doesn’t. You decide.

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