Pittsburgh has a big amusement park called Kennywood. They just filmed “Adventureland” there. And I have just returned from a yearly joy to tell you that during the off-season, the Kennywood staff apparently gives mammograms.

You know the sing-song, “Please secure all loose belongings at this time” lilt that comes from hours per day saying the exact same sc…

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In what would have been a shockingly bold stand for either Bush administration, the Obama administration has endorsed a U.N. resolution against the criminalization of being gay. Seems like a no-brainer, so why couldn’t the no-brain Bush administrations pull it off? For a pretty brainless reason: They thought it could somehow be used to make gay marriage legal in the United Stat…

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Taking part in the yearly resolution ritual ties us to a thousand, thousand years of unrealized good intentions. (Eat more vegetables, less brontosaurus.) Here and there, we actually keep some of these things, so let’s proceed, shall we?

Here’s the “gimme”: Take care of yourself. Easy on the smokes and alcohol, and a little exercise would not kill you. The wo…

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It looked as though the real “morning in America” was about to dawn when Bill Clinton was elected president the first time. Glimmers of hope peeked out after years of surreal Ronald Reagan politics. I’m woman enough to admit that I cried a little.

I cried again when Bill Clinton nearly immediately caved on his promise to allow gay servicemembers to serve openly and ins…

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I’ve been in a relationship for the majority of the time since I was 14 years old. That’s (mumble, mumble) years of serial monogamy, with the occasional overlapping relationship. A girl has to plan ahead, after all.

Since the entire catbox hit the fan at my house in early 2008, I have been single.

At first, I resisted single life. I went on a blind date with a woman that started wi…

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I’ve invented the lesbian “killer app” for the iPhone. OK, it’s more of a plug-in that adds features to your existing applications, making them much for useful for the average gal-loving gal.

For instance, that snappy Shazam that they show on the commercials, identifying songs after just 20 seconds of listening, then suggesting where you can buy it? With iLe…

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I’m one of those older and just barely wiser gals who is finally learning the difference between eccentricity in people and psychosis, between richly interesting and chock-full of drama. Hell, my life is getting so stable and ordinary that sometimes I even fill my gas tank before that little light comes on. Sometimes.

Anyway, I am thankful, first of all, that I do not have to go anyw…

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It’s almost time to haul our lesbian, vegan, wiccan asses back to the small towns from which we escaped years ago, so that we can celebrate how thankful we are to have done so.

Here are just a few do’s and don’ts for the big day:

DO initiate a discussion about Sarah Palin and the liberal media. This will be more entertaining than a barrel of monkeys, trust me.

DON’T as…

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California’s decision to approve Prop 8, banning same-sex marriage after it was already approved, was the pee in my post-election Cheerios. Just as I was getting all excited about the electorate choosing a visionary president, it turned out that those same voters slammed the gays in not only California but in Florida, Arizona and Arkansas.

Then yesterday, those “activi…

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Primetime broadcast television loses its only fictional lesbian as “Grey’s Anatomy” execs decide to ditch Brooke Smith’s character, Erica Hahn. We’ve still got a couple of bi girls in, arguably, Callie, and “House’s” character 13, but we’re fresh out of dykes.

What is up with that? As many times as I’ve heard people…

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