A lesbian guide on how to date multiple people at once without drama

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Personally, I don’t have very much “formal” dating experience, since I’ve spent the majority of my life avoiding intimacy like the plague. Fear of commitment? Yes, very much so. Therefore, if I relied solely on my own experiences, this would not be an informative, well-rounded article. So to offer you the best possible advice, I’ve contacted my extended family of lesbian sisters. Based on their traumatic experiences, I offer this guide as a “What-Not-To-Do-On-A-First-Date” Manual.

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Ok. So everyone has their guilty pleasure, right? While the rest of you are reducing your brain cells by indulging in Snooki, The Situation, Bethanny Frankel, or Lindsay Lohan’s Trainwreck Life, I’m surfing craigslist. No no, I don’t get my rocks off with random chicks on craigslist – that’s not where I’m going with this. But… I DO read the ads.

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Ever been five beers into a happy hour with your friends, spot a girl across the bar, and suddenly wonder… “Hey isn’t that my ex’s ex-girlfriend?” Well, my fellow beer goggle dykes, never fear. Yup. There’s an App for that.

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The first few months of a relationship are like a lesbian utopia. We take her out, we pay for her drinks, we cook for her, we bring her breakfast in bed, we gladly do whatever it takes to please her in the sack, we select a movie *she* wants to watch, we make an extra special effort to look smokin’ hot, we discuss issues she cares about, and when she starts to *really* fall for us… BAM!

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Inspired by Ilene Chaiken’s The L Word and The “Real” L Word.

You may have noticed that the post started off with a complex dilemma, and quickly moved on to partying, cheating and schlongs. I’m just following Ilene.

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I have been battling a major case of insomnia and that fueled some nostalgia and thinking about my past with my ex. The thinking led to Googling, and the Googling led to the temptation to engage in one of our collective favorite pastimes: LESBIAN DRAMA!!

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Some online dating profile screen names probably won’t win many a date. I think the following women may do better at ChatRoulette.com. Dating is hard, being single isn’t always fun but I would bet my bottom that, I mean my bottom dollar that being single is better than dating someone with a profile name that just screams “beware.”

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So ladies, tell me stuff… Any success stories? Horror stories? Words of warning? Am I being mean by not replying to the girls who clearly don’t read my profile, or should I let everyone have a fair chance? Does anyone happen to live in Brisbane?? We should become friends on the wonderful Book of Faces and see how many links we share!

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FSLS! It’s a problem. A BIG problem.

And Grace O’Neill can’t help but ask…What’s a single dyke to do?

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