 | This is a Story of Boy Meets Girl, Then Girl Meets GirlBy Grace Gatsby |
As much as I wanted to write a post gushing about “Whip It” this week, since I saw a sneak preview of it on Saturday and it was amazing, there is something far more entertaining happening in the real world.
Unlike some of my fellow Graces, I have yet to really divulge the details of my private life, but if our loyal readers don’t appreciate this developing story, no one will.
It’s no question that there is a laundry list of obstacles that stand in the way of many a single lesbian these days. Case and point: the bisexual two step, the ubiquitous straight girl crush and of course the straight girls we do not crush on, but decide (and then decide to loudly tell us) that life would be SO much easier if she were gay. However, there is that new phenomenon sweeping the nation that may help the lesbians looking for a date: Lezbros.
Lezbros, as you may have heard, are a lesbian’s cool, straight male friends, which (for the most part) see us as more of a wing(wo)man rather than a potential porno fantasy. Lezbros are every lady’s dream come true, right? No muss, no fuss friendships with none of that messy, “is it real date?” nonsense. Plus, you have someone to gossip with outside of your entourage and someone to go girl-watching with. But, wait a minute. What happens when you and your lezbro catch sight of the same hottie?
Let me tell you, because my main lezbro and I are currently after the same girl. Sidenote: Lord knows I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but the term “third-wheel crush” ACTUALLY applies much better here. Mama Chaiken, take note.
Anyhow, the three of us go to the same school, we each have separate classes with her and then compare notes later. So far, he is taking the lead by a landslide, but I am trying to do some reconnaissance work and moving a bit more like a secret agent, a la “ascertaining the disposition and intent of one Ms. Lara Perkins,” circa Season 1 of The L Word.
The funny thing is, although this could be a nightmare, it actually kind of works. Of course I see the red flags, because obvs neither of us wants to admit she can only be with one of us in the end. But I have to say that in the short term, the mutual friendship thing is really a plus. It makes it much less awkward and we can provide an airbag for each other on group outings should one of us crash and burn. I think teamwork in this town is underrated. Whoever doesn’t end up with her can easily fill the friend role, since the three of us already know each other and if I end up with her, I’m pretty sure he’ll be happy for me and vice versa since we were friends first and the three of us will still get to hang out together.
So lovely readers, what say you? Is the lezbro companion someone you should use to his full advantage or someone who isn’t worth the possible fallout of falling for the same girl?
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September 28th, 2009 at 1:11 am
All I have to say is that around seven or eight years ago when I was a wee little newly-out babydyke in Manhattan my lezbro and I would end up hooking up with the same girl (not simultaneously). Then I’d get bored and wander off somewhere, and he’d end up sticking around and dating the girl in short term dysfunctional relationships. And then he’d go to therapy. This happened two or three times with different girls.
(When I read what I just wrote, it feels like I am writing about someone else, but sadly, that is not the case. That is all.)
September 28th, 2009 at 4:56 am
Where would I be without my lesbro? He’s awesome and we’re a great team! I use my insanely accurate Trouble-Spotting Powers [accurate at distances of up to 300 feet] to keep his head above water, so to speak. And he calls me on my shit when I get worked up about some trivial/ passive-aggressive issue with the girlfriend. It helps we’re in the same classes at Uni, so we keep an eye out for one another academically too [his obsessive-compulsion vs my laid-back attitude]. Every girl needs a lesbro =D
September 28th, 2009 at 7:57 am
I’d be cautious, I’ve found with my lesbros that the usual jeliously that you’d find in any friendships ends up bubbling forth to cause chaos
xkcd put it well.. http://xkcd.com/592/
September 28th, 2009 at 9:49 am
haha whoever you are katie – love that you referenced xkcd!!
September 28th, 2009 at 11:21 am
hmm I don’t know I guess its a cute little competition until it turns into you both have a crush on the girl. I’m sure there will be underlying animosity towards whoever is able to take it further than just a crush.
For me it’s always like -your my boy but I’m also aware of your advantage statistically. So I wouldn’t compete, even just for fun my ego’s not built for that.
to each there own though
September 28th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
M lesbro is a gay guy. It works up until the point we are in a gay bar and it’s primarity guys in hot pants. But he is the voice of logic and I am his butch side.
September 28th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I’ve never had a lesbro. I feel left out.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
I need a lezbro.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:31 am
mine is a guy I commonly refer to as a male lesbian
the only thing straight about this boy is his affinity for ladies
we’ll routinely call shotgun on hot girls we see while out, but we both tend to be too big of puds to try anything with her…
October 1st, 2009 at 1:42 pm
[...] read a blog by Grace Gatsby regarding Lezbros. Grace defines Lezbros as : a lesbian’s cool, straight male friends, which (for the most part) [...]
October 3rd, 2009 at 7:17 am
[...] I am going to have to agree with this person and her comment of: Lezbros, as you may have heard, are a lesbian’s cool, straight male friends, [...]
October 10th, 2009 at 12:59 am
Where are you from? Is it a secret?
October 12th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
@Pat haha no, it’s no secret. I’m from the fantastic state of Pennsylvania. I spend part-time in the rolling hills of the western side, part-time in the bustling metropolis of the eastern side.