 | All right. Maine’s marriage equality fight went kablooey, but at least we are seeing CHANGE.By Grace Underfire |
The results are in. 53% do not want gay marriage in Maine. 47% would like to see people have the choice to decide their own marital status. Voters have, once again, rejected a law that would allow same-sex couples to wed in their own state. Another loss, but is not another victory? Is 47% a good spot to be in? Is it a victory because it forces us to reflect on what is going on around us?
Everyone gets fired up after the election, but it is where they go after the election that matters. If you are fired up, are you doing anything about it? Maine just lost a battle over civil rights, but it’s time to take pause and see where we are. Have we been moved? Do we have a place to go from here?
California has lost so many people to fair-weathered fans. They were here during the election, but they have little information about what is happening right now. Everyone loves a good protest when the emotion is running high, but not everyone loves a protest when it’s during the everyday grind. So, there are days when I just accept the things that happen and hope for a better future. Those are my quiet days. Then, there are days where I just want to say that this “sucks.” Both are valid and both have their time and place, but one is always going to be more positive. It’s up to you to decide how you are going to roll.
I guess I am with the school of thought that any emotion is good. Any emotion is better than no emotion. It could be protestors on the opposite side (seems to be the “yes” vote lately) who insight people, old and young, to think differently because they are on the edge of reason and can’t see themselves yelling and screaming rhetoric. When words have hate behind them, people take a step back to think. I love the step back. I am encouraged by the step back.
It could be the young gay people who are living courageously, telling their story to all they meet. They refuse to be called “roommate”, “friend”, or “s/he who shall not be named.” The beauty in all of this “crap” is this is that it stops complacency. It stops people from standing idly by. America is forcing people to make a decision in their hearts, minds, and on paper. Voting makes us take pause and see where we are. It makes us step up and decide where we are going to stand on issues. It makes us take a stand. It makes us think.
Now, I am like most of you. I don’t like where we currently stand, but I am happy with the words I am hearing from those who stand by me. I was told of a friend who had a conversation with her grandmother about her gay friends. Her grandmother promptly changed her vote to NO, because my friend told her how much it would affect her life if people like me were not able to have those rights. I am lifted everyday when I hear stories of friends challenging other friends over facebook and twitter for their posts judging gay people. While I personally wish these did not happen over social media networks but rather in person, this is the world we live in. Hundreds of people will see her stand up against something she believes to be tyrannical. Could this be the newest form of protest? I believe so.
I am encouraged by the people who put up Safe Zone/Safe Space stickers in their offices. I am encouraged by gay people who are living courageous lives by being openly gay. I am encouraged when people put Human Rights Campaign stickers on their car to identify themselves as allies and as people who refuse to be anything other than who they are. I am encouraged when straight people tell me that they are angry for me. I am encouraged when they tell me they are mad about others inability to see my life as beautiful. I am encouraged, because 10 years ago, I was invisible. I am encouraged. Please be encouraged.
What I do know is that more and more people are pulling away from the church every year. More and more people in church are seeing that what they are doing is not being accepted. The majority is slowly becoming the minority. The youth are growing and voting. It’s going to be one hell of a time to live through. We are seeing change. We are seeing people love us and support us. We are seeing people get angry for us. We are seeing CHANGE. I have always said I wanted to be alive in the 1960s and see civil rights in action. I feel like I got my wish.
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November 4th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
When I get really depressed, I try to think of my kids and what they are going to do in this world. That perks me up but that is also a long way away.
November 4th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
This Bangor, Maine lesbian thanks you for a beautifully written article. Your approach and a glass of wine are making today a little less exhausting and painful. Onwards we go….
November 5th, 2009 at 12:47 am
This was such a beautiful article.
I live in a country where , let alone marriage rights, being gay is illegal, with a fine up to 5 years in jail.. TRNC (Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus) is an Islamic country with a very small community. It’s been very difficult for all of us here.
But the wind of change is affecting this place too! More and more people are accepting homosexuality and there’s talk about removing the ban on homosexuals.
Hopefully we all will see a better tomorrow
November 5th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
As I was walking in to my office today, I was thinking about Maine, and California, and humming “We Shall Not Give Up the Fight,” a wonderful South African protest song. I learned that song in church. I know that there are a number of churches that oppose gay marriage, but there are also lots of progressive religious groups out there who believe in the worth and dignity of every human being (regardless of whom s/he is attracted to romantically). Churches have been at the forefront of every major civil rights struggle in this country thus far (abolition — women’s rights — civil rights) and lots of freedom movements around the world have been led by religious leaders. (Think Gandhi. Think Desmond Tutu.) Although the churches are not leading the charge in this one, it’s really important to recognize that they’re deeply divided. They’re not all against gay marriage. So we can’t talk about “the church” in this context as a monolithic institution. It’s not. There are lots of churches, and they are made up of people who disagree, who are thinking (and, often, praying, meditating, or otherwise contemplating), taking stands, changing their minds.
November 6th, 2009 at 2:23 am
where do you think this country would be if we all voted about the slave question? or whether women should be allowed to vote? or whether blacks should be in the military? or if blacks should drink from the same water fountains or ride in the front of the bus?
i’m hoping yall are not so deluded that you think gay rights will ever be voted in by the majority of this country. it’s just a huge waste of money and emotional energy. oh, eventually i guess. maybe.
but maybe not. i dare you to allow the state of Louisiana to vote today on whether or not blacks and whites should marry.
Gay rights will be won by the courts- or should i say the court. lets just hope obama sees the light (although i’m not holding my breath- something about christians I dont’ trust), and pushes this country in the direction it needs to go.
November 6th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
[...] the wrong way then tell Aunt Mabel that you two will be getting a Civil Union next summer in Mai…Oh, right. I mean, [...]
November 6th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
It’s important to examine the differnet sides of what happened/is happening here. While it is true that this is sadly a precedent-setting situation–where actual legislature is being overturned by a referendum/popular vote this time and not just a judicial ruling, as it was in CA–we have to understand that it is not just about the issue of majority-versus-minority in these types of situations, as Melissa points out, but also an issue of strategy (or lack thereof) in addressing and appealing to undecideds and non-partisan voters and their families.
As for the issue of the popular-vote amendments, it is absolutely the case that minorities cannot field victories over majorities without the help of middle-ground voters. And while the CA loss was attributed to lack of money and resources of those opposing Prop 8 in reaching out for the undecided/non-partisan vote, that notion was disproven fully here in ME as the amount of money generated by those opposing Question 1 was twice that as the proponents.
Clearly, a large part had to do with not just grass-roots awareness issues, but also with strategy:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33729543/ns/us_news-life/
Using scare tactics (that appealed towards het voters’ worry of their own personal freedoms being imposed upon by the State) to override concern for the equal rights of others worked extremely well in CA, and now in ME as well. And while the idea behind this appeal (“OMG gay people exist?!?!? Don’t tell my kids!”) is ridiculous, until a lucid counter-argument is presented, I forsee only more losses of this kind in referendum-type battles across other states.
So on the other side of the equation, there is the point of whether fighting referendums and propositions is even worthwhile. While here in CA, the opponents on the right denounced the original court rulings as “the decisions of a quorum of judicial leftists over-ruling the will of the people”, it is without question that in a similar vein, the Civil Rights movement of the 60′s could not have occurred without Federal-level judicial decisions overriding the state-level acceptance/enforcement of Jim Crow laws (defining “civil rights abuses”) and that no amount of local-level popular voting could repeal them. While it is seemingly “bad form” to run to our lawyers screaming “we lost–appeal the decision!” it is the job of the Federal government to protect the rights and liberty of the minority as well.