Two disclaimers:

1. Is you haven’t read Grace Chu’s original post Chi Ku then do so now… Don’t worry, I’ll wait.  Caught up?  Good.
2. Despite popular belief, Disgruntled Grace is a real live person… and is neither Grace Chu nor I.  Her last post Yes, Grace, There Is a Santa Claus is another required reading mainly because a lot of it pertains to what 2009 has brought me (minus the broken nose).

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Chi Ku (or as it’s better known as Eating Bitterness) is a lesbian rite of passage.  You simply cannot call yourself a dyke if you haven’t experience at least one “Yes, I am actually out with my ex and her new GF and they’re practically mounting each other on the table” Chi Ku moments.

Haven’t had that honor yet? Don’t worry… you will.  And, trust me, it will be just as fabulously craptacular as it sounds.

2009 has been dubbed my year of Chi Ku.  I’ve officially swallowed more bitterness than sugar-free Red Bull (and that’s saying a lot since I’m a bona fide caffeine junkie).

Now, I don’t want to be that stereotypical dyke who proudly displays her Chi Ku like merit badges, but here are a few nuggets for your GTS reading pleasure:

“Of course, I’d be jealous of me too. Why would you want a steady, high-paying job when you can suddenly be granted ample amounts of time to do absolutely nothing with a second lay off in one year? That’s exactly how I’m viewing it too!  Tons and tons and tons of unpaid time off with $500 a month Cobra insurance payments to boot!”

“No, I’m totally happy that I managed to lose 24lbs even though I lost the weight loss challenge by a fraction of a percent and didn’t win the cash.  And the mere satisfaction of losing those pounds totally outweighs not consuming anything remotely enjoyable for the past 5 weeks!  What’s that?… Oh, I’m just about to drown myself in Crumbs cupcakes. “

“Sure!  I’ll gladly help you pick out the perfect x-mas gift for your GF even though you’re well-aware of the Hiroshima-like state of my relationship.  Hell, I’ll even help your GF do the same exact thing when she hits me up on gchat in an hour.  And how am I holding up?  Absolutely great! Now excuse me… There’s a bottle of Johnny Walkers calling my name.”

But as much as my 2009 was overflowing with Chi Ku, there are signs that 2010 is going to anything but bitter filled.  New job. Check.  New roommate. Check.  New writers coming aboard to GTS. Oh, triple check that!

Come Jan 1^st, I’m officially going on a Chi Ku-free diet.  No more bitterness for me.

Does this mean I’m quitting the scene?  Of course not.  And sure, there’s still tons of dyke drama in store for me.  But Chi Ku?  No thanks.

So, dear GTS readers, the next time you find yourself about to down a heaping portion of Chi Ku, I implore you to take a moment and think, “What Would Grace O’Neill Do?”.

And if you can’t figure it out, here’s a hint: Grab a beer, crack a joke, smile, and remember… Chi Ku happens