January 2003

Belgium becomes the second country in the world to recognize same sex marriage, although gaybies are not allowed until 2006.

This has nothing to do with LGBT rights, but according to CNN, here is the top joke in Belgium, otherwise known as Dumbo and Daffy’s dangerous dance:

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires.

Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Hey look, it’s a flaming duck!

All right. All right. I’ll stop now.

February 2003

“Naughty Girls Need Love Too” singer Samantha Fox comes out to The Mail, saying “I can’t keep saying, ‘Maybe,’ or denying it. It is time to let people know where my heart is. People keep trying to say I’m a lesbian. I don’t know what I am. All I know is that I’m in love with Myra [Stratton, her manager]. I love her completely and want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

April 2003

Star crossed lovers Bianca and Lena share a kiss in an airport on All My Children. Hailing from rival cosmetic conglomerates, they are like the Romeo and Juliet of fictional lip gloss empires. It is American daytime television’s first same sex kiss. Bianca continues to date women in subsequent seasons.

May 2003

Willow finally gets laid! After two and a half seasons of Willow and Tara casting spells together, then kissing, then lying in a semi-chaste manner underneath the sheets, Tara is murdered in Season 6. In the episode “Touched” in the final season of Buffy, the bossy Kennedy seduces Willow, and we see that Willow finally gets to climax, just like the heterosexual characters on the show.

See her eyes? Yeah, that look basically says, “Making whoopee is SO much better than making magic.”

June 2003

states in red had anti-sodomy laws on the books as of the ruling in Lawrence

In Lawrence v. Texas, the Supreme Court strikes down all remaining sodomy laws in the United States, thereby legalizing any sex act between consenting adults. Thus, in addition to allowing all forms of gay sex, the ruling legalized all forms of heterosexual sex acts outside of straightforward vaginal sex. That’s right kids! Blowjobs – finally legalized in 2003!

July 2003

When asked directly by Barbara Walters on 20/20 if she is bisexual, Angelina Jolie replies, “If I fell in love with a woman tomorrow, would I feel that it’s okay to want to kiss and touch her? If I fell in love with her? Absolutely! Yes!” Lesbians continue to be obsessed with Angelina Jolie, which would have been the case even in the absence of this interview, but the interview certainly does not hurt.

August 2003

Madonna and Britney Spears kiss at the VMAs, which everyone seems to remember. This is usually followed by the afterthought, “I think Madonna also kissed Christina Aguilera,” or the kiss is forgotten altogether. Poor Christina. And so here is Madonna and Christina Aguilera kissing at the VMAs in all its glory. Remember, Christina, “You are beautiful no matter what they say / Words can’t bring you down!”

September 2003

For Ellen DeGeneres, the third time is the charm. Talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Ellen’s third foray into television, premieres in September of 2003 and snaps up 11 daytime Emmy nominations, winning four, including Best Talk Show.

After then-governor Gray Davis signs the California’s Domestic Partner’s Rights and Responsibilities Act into law, Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels celebrate by getting hitched in Los Angeles.

November 2003

With the stroke of a pen 60+ pages worth of pen strokes, the land of the Puritans redeems itself. In Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, the Massachusetts Supreme Court rules 4 to 3 that the state’s ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional and gives the state legislature 180 days to change the law.

December 2003

Charlize Theron does a reverse makeover and becomes significantly less than pulchritudinous for her role as a homicidal lesbian prostitute in Monster, a film about real life serial killer Aileen Wuornos. She wins an Oscar for the role.

Onto Part 5: 2004