• Dinah Shore Weekend is a comin’! Interview with Mariah Hanson, founder of Club Skirts The Dinah
  • Ten lesbians run into a restroom. Did hilarity ensue? Sadly, it did not.
  • My Love is louder than “Yours”
  • Pretend to be nice for dates 1 through 15. Reveal true self after.
  • How to be The World’s Worst Girlfriend
Grace Chu

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 28: Straight Girls


Lesbians like straight girls. Lesbians like straight girls, because lesbians think that everyone is a little bit gay and that, with the right amount of coaxing, straight girls can be convinced that they are not so straight. (Even if this were true, lesbians are forgetting a very important principle: even if a majority of women can be convinced to abandon heterosexuality, at least temporarily, this does not mean a particular woman will stray from heterosexuality for you personally.)

I see many of you staring at this proclamation with disbelief. This is because lesbians believe that, like the Little Engine that Could, if they say “I think I can” long enough, they can will that certain straight girl into realizing that she has lesbian tendencies.

After all [pick your poison]:

1) She has been brainwashed by the “dominant discourse on sexuality” her entire life, and this is the only reason she identifies as straight! It is my duty to enlighten her.

2) How can she deal with Chip/Mitch/Tyrone/Jae/Jose? His tongue is so slow that it takes him five syllables to articulate the word “dude,” i.e. “Du-u-u-u-ude!” She’s probably never had an orgasm. If I don’t step in and rectify this wrong, she will be doomed to a life of sexual frustration.

3) She just hasn’t met the right woman. I am that woman.

Here’s a novel concept: Some girls are just straight. Period.

Every lesbian has had at least one hopeless straight girl crush. Maybe it was your lab partner, your sorority sister, your dormmate in boarding school, your classmate in your Catholic high school, your tennis coach, your best friend, your teammate on the lacrosse/rugby/soccer/softball/field hockey team. (Did I miss one?) Every time she spoke to you, you pored over every word, every blink of her eye, every minor hand movement, because any deviation from her normal behavior (which you have memorized to the most insignificant detail) could be a secret signal that she has received your telekinetic messages of devotion.

Crush: Hey, what’s up?
Thinking: Oh my god. She never says, ‘What’s up?’ She always says ‘Heeeeeyy!’ There must be something going on. Is she flirting with me?
Says: Um, hi?
Crush: What’s wrong? Why are your ears turning red?
Thinking: Shit! Shit! Shit! She knows I’m blushing.
Says: Oh, I have allergies.
Crush: Oh, no! I hope you feel better. [Gives lesbian a hug.]
Thinking: *Swoon!* She doesn’t care that I’m blushing. She likes me!
Says: Heh heh. Um. Thanks.
Crush: I know what will make you feel better! My boyfriend and I are going out to drinks tonight. You should come!
Thinking: …
Says: …

This is not to say that no straight girl can be convinced to take a walk on the other side of the fence. However a general rule of thumb is that affairs with straight girls do not end well. Having an affair with a straight girl ends in one of three ways:

  1. Everything is going splendidly. You believe that you and she are soulmates. You’re like Ellen and Portia! Rosie and Kelly! Timmy and Lassie! Cheech and Chong! Then one day she announces, “Hey, my boyfriend and I got back together! Isn’t that great?” You say, “Wait! What about me? What about us!” She laughs and says, “Huh? Silly, I’m not gay! But that was fun!” thereby crushing your soul.
  2. You come to your senses before #1 happens and break it off. This makes her angry and stalkerish. How dare you cut short her experimental stage before it was completed! You bitch! She keeps calling and hanging up. You call her and tell her to seek a therapist. She then has an epiphany and believes that if she says the following, she will somehow win you back: “You were a huge mistake! I’m going back to my boyfriend!” You say, “Good! Problem solved!” In retaliation, she makes a point to make out with her boyfriend in front of you, but she also leaves weird love letters in your email inbox under a fake name. She continues to stalk you on e-mail/IM/Facebook until you threaten to send your entourage, your friends Vinnie and Tony from Jersey, and/or the cops after her.
  3. She realizes that she is gay, that you’re the one, and she rides away into the sunset with you.

Just kidding. #3 never happens.

Nowadays, many lesbians have abandoned (or never even adopt) stereotypical dress and mannerisms and blend into the rest of the population, so ascertaining who is straight and who is gay is getting more difficult. This phenomenon has led to the following solution: Everyone is fair game! However, even if there is a room full of gay women and one straight girl, and it isn’t obvious who the straight girl is, the straight girl will still get the most attention. So, straight girl readers: if you go to an event attended by a lot of lesbians or if you accompany your lesbian friend to a lesbian bar and you notice that a lot of lesbians are smiling at you, do not be alarmed. If this is happening, it should just reaffirm your heterosexuality.

572 Responses to “Stuff Lesbians Like Part 28: Straight Girls”

  1. chloe Says:

    #3 happened for Bette and Tina! . . . oh wait, thats a television show.

  2. Orange Says:

    Speaking of scenario #1, here is an Asian MV that affirms this scenario …


    (For those of you wondering what the captioned dialogue is at the end, it’s the straight asking if they can be friends. That’s a whole other post I guess. 😉 )

  3. Vikki Says:

    I like to think all straight women could be lesbians but not because I want them or because I think I could turn them. I just want more lesbians, dammit! Conversely, I hate it when we lose a confirmed lesbo to a hetero relapse. Sigh…

  4. Softly Dreaming Says:

    How freaking true this is!

  5. Sasha Says:

    I’ve recently decided to stop dating straight girls. Hopefully this will result in said “straight” girls from 1) stalking me because I popped their lesbian cherry or 2) their very angry boyfriends from wanting to kick my ass because I showed their girl what it’s really supposed to feel like.

  6. Grace Chu Says:

    Sasha, behaving like a mental ward escapee is perfectly normal for a girl who has just had her lesbian cherry popped. This is why popping cherries should only be done if you own a bulletproof vest.

  7. tuffdawg Says:

    i must say that i am one of the few lesbians that looks for the opposite of the straight girl … i can however to the scenario of crushing on a sorority sister … but she ended up being gay and my girlfriend so it doesn’t really apply lol

  8. Josie Says:

    You guys crack me up! This is so true. Sad, but so true.

  9. Jennelyn Says:

    i have always avoided relations w/ straight girls only because they’re STRAIGHT. can’t end well right? one has actually infiltrated my system,(though i returned the favor lol) and now i dread any of the above 3 results. GREAT! at least im better prepared. THANKS… why o why did i succumb to this wily temptress??… because she is SO DAMN HOT!

  10. shiba Says:

    yea. the only girl ive dated was straight. the problem was that she had all those straight fantasies. basically meaning: i was the prince(ess) who was to dote on her every will and she was to be my life (as in i had no other life except her).
    it became a real turnoff (even though she was hot). so i dumped her (shes now straight again. go figure).

  11. Hailey Says:

    speaking of straight girls, i’ve recently stumbled upon this blog. it is a diary and she’s spilling out her feelings for a straight girl she’s loved for years. the posts can be quite long. but i have so much connections towards what she writes. i think every lesbian with a straight girl crush should try out her blog. at least it makes me feel better after i’ve read it, so much emotions.


  12. marrog Says:

    I call #3. Rare but not impossible. I’ve pulled it off twice. It does seem to involve increasing amounts of heart-ache and bridge-burning if you don’t wait for their het relationship to end first though, I’ve found…

  13. spucko Says:

    #3 happened to me…but then I found out that my assumed-previously-straight love of my life had been harboring crushes on her girlfriends since the eighth grade. Now she happily identifies as “bi – but I’ll probably never date a man again.”

  14. Amanda Says:

    Scenario 2# happened with my straight girl crush.

    Why do they think telling us about what they do with their bfs will make us like them again!? lol … I never understood this, she would try making me jealous thinking that would make me interested in her again.

    She was a virgin and thought telling me her and her new bf had sex would get me really fired up, but instead I didn’t show any emotion.. and this pissed her off even more.

  15. Benita Says:

    Interesting article. Well… I came across this column and thought you might find my situation interesting/relevent. I am a straight girl. I have been friends with this lesbian girl for a couple of months and very recently I have been feeling that i like her… I just want to be with her all the time and I miss her when she’s not around.. Last night I felt that I wanted to hold her hands,. It is freaking me out because I don’t know what is going on with me or what it all means… and of course she does not have a clue either because she knows that I am straight. All I know is that I like her and (1) I am not a lesbian, I definitely like guys and I have never liked girls that way. (2) This is definitely not experimenting. (3) I really don’t want to ruin our friendship but at the same time I really can’t help how I feel and I think that I should tell her but I don’t know what to say. I am scared.

  16. dee_stud Says:

    hello im gay lol

    and i like this one st8 girl,she has a man 2 kids BUT she doesnt stay with her man? doesnt kiss him?

    and when she drinks she makes out with girls and lets me suck on her titties lmao!

    and idunno sum times she gives me signs like when i text cute stuff to her so always writes thanx and a winky smiley face.

    she always plays with her hair when she talks to me and sum other hints..

    so ima grow sum balls and ima talk to her alone and tell her im not trying to break her and her man up i jus wanna be the first female to take her out on a date…do anything with…


    i just wanna eat her up! ;] lol

    sooo yeah wish me luck family!


  17. Grace Rosen Says:

    Benita, that’s a tough one. Although it sounds cliche, honesty is the best policy. It’s not fair to you to hold in the feelings, which if you do, could end up hindering the friendship anyway.

    You may not be gay, but is there a possiblity you are discovering you are bi? Just a thought!

  18. Cyn Says:

    gotta admit that this is very true for me, i’m 19 n so far, the only girls that i’ve fallen for are straight…tot da last one was bendable but got my heart screwed..lols….maybe it’s cos i’m living in malaysia n my circle of frens are mostly straight..lols

  19. Grace Says:

    #3 happened to me, against all Catholic-school-girl odds…

  20. Cris Says:

    I’m totally gay and I’ve only fallen for 1 straight girl. It didn’t end well. I tend to fall for bi girls, until I find out they have a boyfriend or they start talking about their past histories with guys. BIG turn OFF.

  21. LC Says:

    I never fall for straight girls– but almost every girl who’s proclaimed interest in me has been straight. Most of my straight friends have decided they have crushes on me (while they’re drunk, at least). I think it’s because I’m fairly attractive and never ever try to pursue anything– so they can have their drunk girl-crush without any pressure.

    But then a couple of years ago my best (straight girl) friend told me she liked me. I got mad and told her she was being dumb and I wasn’t interested in being her experimental game. We got rocky for a little bit, but over time she somehow managed to show me that she actually was interested and wanted to try a relationship with me…. It took me a while to get over my “she’s a straight girl and option #3 never happens” prejudice, but we’ve been official for a year and a half, and things are great. She doesn’t identify as gay, but realizes that she’ll never see herself as straight again. My take on it? I don’t care how she identifies as long as I’m the one she wants. :)

  22. chris Says:


    So much win for this post. And I’m ashamed (amused?) to say I’m exactly like this.

    If I can allude to something dear here…
    When I realize a straight girl is just straight, and all my charms aren’t going to ever work to make her fall in love with me, I really feel like she’s missing out on a whole universe of freedom and pleasure (snicker) She’s missing out on the Fourth World!

    It’s some kind of lesbian-ego-maniacal-arrogance…but, ya know, of course it’s true. Pooor little straight girls 😉

  23. Laura Says:

    I had a crush on a straight girl. I dated her for a year and a half, and her facebook info changed from “Interested in: Men” to not having anything when we were dating to “Interested in: Women” after we broke up.

    #3 happens, but pretty much never.

  24. Nikol Says:

    So, here’s my story, it’s decent I guess. So, I’ve only been out of the closet for about a year or so but i’m 15. I have a good friend who I think has an interest in girls, and I always tell her but she denies it. Last week we hung out and it turned out she was up for experimenting although she had previously said she wasn’t. We didn’t have sex but very close to it. I know it was a one time thing but I want her to come out and tell everyone she likes girls. It really sucks because she is such an amazing girl and i’ve had a crush on her for a while. :/

  25. dragontemper Says:

    im currently with the most gorgeous woman in the world. i will nail my right foot to the ground on that claim:) i am that sure.

    she is straight. i’ve heard her use the word ‘bi’ to a few close friends b/c of me, so that’s touching.

    i pray every day that it ends as #3.. but the way i see it, doesn’t every couple? gay or straight?

    6 months going strong.. with hopes of 6 more:)

  26. maranda Says:

    i play sorority life on myspace. if any of you play, then add me. i also play fashion wars. you can find me at http://www.myspace.com/standout2009.

  27. Grace the Spot | Stuff Lesbians Like Part 113: Bitching about that Straight Girl. Says:

    […] all know that lesbians like straight girls, but ask any lesbian from here to China if she has ever dated a straight girl, and her expression […]

  28. paperheart Says:

    Thanks for the comment Hailey. I would never have read that wonderful blog if it weren’t for you. It also inspired me to write my own. Deals with liking a straight girl, too.


  29. Jen Says:

    Im a straight girl (or at least I thought I was) with the BIGGEST crush on a lesbian that I met a few moths ago. She is so amazing, but I cant do anything about it because she has a girlfriend. I guess Im an exception to #3 because I would soooo ride off into the sunset with her if she wanted :(

  30. JT123 Says:

    Im pretty gay and have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. We have a house together and the whole shebang. Throughout every relationship I’ve had, I’ve always had a straight girl crush that I hid. Its inevitable and I suppose that I subconsciously let it happen because I know I wouldn’t act on it. And from my past experiences… the straight girl crush subsides. I guess it’s exciting to know that a straight girl could be into you. But if you’re interested in a solid, rest of your life kind of love, don’t even get involved!!

  31. Saran Says:

    this article was amazing.
    It articulated EXACTLY my thoughts!
    good job!

  32. Lucia Says:

    i LOVE this blog! you have a fun writing style!
    so true about straight girls. It’s horrible when they are so hot you can’t keep your eyes off them, but still iam not out and don’t plan to be ’cause people will be mean and make my life horrible. Arghh I hate being secret lesbian.

  33. Aly M Says:

    Aaaaaagh I currently have a ridiculous thing for a straight girl. I’m just under no illusions she will actually turn gay for me, so I can safely laugh at this article. In fact, I get irked at people who suggest that she would, because it’s worse to hold out hope than it is to hopelessly crush. But goddamn, do I have a thing for a straight girl.

  34. ben m Says:

    you lesbians! leave our straight women alone!

    your gutter logic proofs your kind should be hunted down and stoned to death or
    burned to death!

  35. Grace Chu Says:

    since it is 4:20 i wouldn’t mind getting a little stoned.

    you should consider investing in a dime bag, mister. i think it will mellow you out.

  36. Lorena Says:

    Lol I favourited this page because the shit thats in it is so true.
    I just moved to a new college, (I’m 16 and live in the UK)
    and there are 2 girls that wudnt mind banging lol
    thing is when i think a girls hot i automatically start picking up any sign that might show that shes into me, read into things way too much
    but i think straight girls tend to flirt with lesbians without realising it, I mean everyone likes attention, especially attention because you think their hot
    so sometimes i wonder if they flirt but arent intrested but like attention you give.

  37. Rory Says:

    Ugh, I’m a het married woman magnet I guess they see me as their exciting affair; their walk on the wild side, as I’m older, very femme looking, self-confident and love women. You know what? forget it; I know the score, give me a 100% lesbian anytime.

  38. Keisha Says:

    I am #2…ARGH! Well minus the stalking lol…i fell for a straight girl and we got pretty close…..After we had sex she stopped talking to me for a few weeks. She said she figured since I didn’t tell her my feelings about her after it happened (i mean it had only been 2 weeks…i was trying to get my head wrapped around things)…she moved onand found another girl. I hate it! I really really liked her and she dumped me. I still like her and it hurts cause I have to see her at work everyday lol…idk what to do…

  39. SPP Says:

    This article is my life. As a (rare) straight woman on my college rugby team, six of my close friends are paired together. I love them, I live with some of them, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

    And yes, they love me. I’m sure they wonder how they will convince me to jump on their side of the fence. I’m pretty sure they want to get in my pants… but that’s my fault. What, being a jeep-owner, rugger, sweatshirt wearing, expensive private college co-ed…

  40. Alfreda Says:

    I know what you mean. Thanks for your blog

  41. lezzie god Says:

    you guys, there is always an exception to the rule, that just happened to me last saturday: i have a soccer teammate (not butch, most beautiful girl you will never know..) who’s had a boyfriend for four years now and is seemingly totally straight. all of a sudden (without having sent any hints) she talled that she LOVED me. not that she had a crush on me but that she loved me…. So there must be a good end to the story i guess! (if you should wonder.. i do look a lot like shane, which makes things a lot easier i guess!)

  42. me too Says:

    Yep, I’ve managed to avoid it for a LOT of years (since hopeless schoolgirl crush)…..but was having a drunky night with a work colleague (who is hot) and ended up putting her to bed, thinking she’d passed out. 10 seconds later, her hand’s down my pants, and I’m asking her if she’s ‘sure’.. was certainly sure enough to do it all again the next morning! Now she won’t talk to me at work, despite saying it’s all ‘cool’. It’s not cool. They’re trouble. Stay away if you can!

  43. XoзяинДьявoлa Says:

    Реально удивили и даже порадовали :) Не поверил бы, что даже такое бывает :)

  44. JQ Says:

    Well folks, I’ve turned two straight girls officially. The first one was my first too… but I had been thinking about it a couple years before i met her. Our year and half together was rocky, she made us keep it a secret from everyone we knew…even on roadtrips in another state she wouldn’t let me hold her hand in public! after i broke up with her…she came out to her family…but too much had happened so i moved on. the next straight girl i dated i met at work… instant chemistry… a few weeks later she was all mine. it was easy as pie. we dated for 9 months but i ended b/c i felt she had become to dependent and engorged in my life. they were both gorgeous, hilarious, and talented girls. now i’m into another straight girl.. she’s gonna be tougher to turn–but i have no reason to think i won’t be able to. my record is 2 out of 2. go suck on that CHU!

  45. Suz Says:

    I’m bi… i guess, i mean, i just love people, their sex doesnt really matter to me. I have the biggest crush on a straight girl. We dance together and hang out all the time. Two days ago I got up the courage to ask her to kiss me. She did kiss me… but more out of open-mindedness than anything, i think. She said she knows we have a connection but the thought of kissing girls is wierd. Which I totally understand because the first time I kissed a girl I couldn’t stop thinking about how wierd it was. But I guess I’m hoping that now that she has tried it, she will get over the social constructs that are holding her back and try it? Hah that’s what any lesbian in this situation would say. I hate straight girl crushes!

  46. Soapgirl Says:

    Okay I was so positive on getting over my crush after reading this article, but some of these responses… False hope! Stop giving us FALSE HOPE! Someone needs to write the book “She’s just not that into you” Strike that… “She’s just NOT into you” or “She’s not into you”

    “Me too”– Your situation… I wish that could happen to me. But again, you are the exception, same with “JQ”

    You guys are the exception. WE, or at least I am the rule!

  47. KH Says:

    Well, there is a flip side to this whole scenario…straight girl who is like..wow, I am actually really attracted to a woman? Me? Yes, me! Hey, great that woman is a lesbian…I should go for it..wait, just because she is a lesbian doesn’t mean she will me attracted to me..yeah, that’s right..she probably has lots of lesbians interested in her..maybe she has a girlfriend..I don’t want to make a fool of myself, and I have no idea how to approach the whole thing anyway. And if I did, what would happen..I am really into her, but I don’t know her that well..maybe this is totally physical..just like with some guys I dated…I wanted them I wanted them, and they were great, but alas, not the guy for me..was I toying with him? no..was I experimenting? no..was I dating?? yes!! This is the only woman I have ever felt attracted to. Will I eventually be attracted to others? Have no idea..all I know is I am really attracted to this woman and want to be with her. It’s not a game, my feelings are intense…but I do not act out of fear of rejection.

  48. drenna Says:

    ok so umm, this happened to me only i was the straight crush…
    as soon as she had me considering the thought of pursuing something with her, she abandoned the pursuit. now im the one thats hopeless! fuck! how do i get a lesbians attention?

  49. Suz Says:

    Drenna! To get her attention, continue to hang out with her and be yourself! You are the one she had/has a crush on so that is who she wants!

  50. Violet Says:

    So I have a marriage that is currently burning to the ground. I should also mention that I have two children. I always knew if this relationship didn’t work out I would be Bi at the very least, I’ve been attracted to women for as long as I can remember. I obviously don’t want to start looking for Mrs. Right immediately and I won’t be looking until this relationship is completely over but how realistic is it to think I could find a woman who wants to date someone with two kids?

  51. Elisa Says:

    Soo right. Straight girls love mindf*cking lesbians.. i’m a lesbian in love with a straight girl. although i know how stupid it is.. but hey i can’t stop my feelings. Im a sucker for love. Dont feel any pain cuz i know she is straight. i allready knew it before i fell for her so its my own fault. im just loving the love i have for her. it’s the best feeling ever when she looks deep into my eyes. and touches my face and gives me a kiss on my mouth. YEAH she is so straight and soo gorgeous cant take my eyes of her

  52. Grace Yip Says:

    Alright, listen.

    KH: …”do not act out of fear of rejection.” you will only see me use this word once in this connotation…. but dude, stop being a pussy. Fear is for losers. You are not a loser. I know this because you are a Grace the Spot reader. Now, go be the winner that you are by hanging out with her and seeing where it goes. If it’s a fast train to nowhereville, then at least you have your answer and can go back to your regular scheduled programming.

    Drenna: follow Suz’s advice/see above.

    Violet: She exists. The more important thing to keep in mind is that if whoever you meet doesn’t think that your kids are a bucket of awesome, then steer clear. The three of you come in a multipack and cannot be sold separately. and who knows, maybe you’ll end up being the lezzie version of the Brady Bunch. (wait, what? Rosie did that already? oh. ok. well, there you go. it happens.)

    Elisa: if your pining gets painful, I suggest you visit http://www.goodvibes.com and get something to alleviate said pain.

  53. A guy :-/ Says:

    What makes you like girls so much? I know this is an odd question coming from a straight guy (why do I like girls, I know), but it’s just something that peaks my curiousity since it’s different to me. Also, would you ever consider being with a man to give them a chance if they liked you?

  54. Soapgirl Says:

    I think you’ve seriously got to refresh your dictionary and look up ‘lesbian’ again. Odd. Just odd.
    Also the bi curious straight girls, sorry ladies, I haven’t met you but it’s reminiscent of “Kissing Jessica Stein” – into it initially then not that into it. Please experiment with others similar to you, not us. Thanks.

  55. A girl Says:

    @”A guy :-/”

    Lol, what a strange question! xD Of course it’s not different to you. We like girls because we’re attracted to them. We were born that way.

    And no, I wouldn’t consider being with a man to give them a chance because I’m not attracted to them. I’m a lesbian. I’m not attracted to guys, just like you’re not attracted to other guys as a straight guy. Think about it: would you consider being with a gay man to give them a chance if they liked you?

  56. jenzthename Says:

    This makes me sad. I’ve never claimed to be straight or gay–and DO NOT call me bi–but I’ve mostly dated boys. Dating a lesbian now and I adore her, but I think she may be holding back because of #1 & 2. Sad panda.

  57. Bi curious Says:

    I’m 13 I have had a really really big crush on this 10th grader I’m in 7th and we txt alot and ah tells me I look georgeous and says she loves me and she even says good night and calls me her boo and sis all the time ,I like her and she knows it we were playing would you rather and I asked her if she would rather kiss me or a hobos foot she said me I loved hearing tht answer , I asked her what would age so I’d I kissed her she said she would say what the dick thisbis eight before I too her I like her and she said he would say what the fuck and then she asked me if I like her I asked her If it would change anything between is andbshe said no so I told her yes I did like her but I reallly really wanna kiss her.and i told her I never have wanted to do anythig to her or with her like that I want to tell her but I know she is gonna say no I would never so that and I also have wanted to kiss one girl at school who is in my grade she isn’t the politest person in the works and I don’t have a crush on her I just want to kiss her and she knows what should I do cause she said that she would never let me kiss her and one day I asked her how far she would let me to age said either touch my boobs in her shirt not out or make out with her and I reminded her of it the next day then that ray she really disapointed me by saying she woulnt let me do ANYTHING at all cause she told me she would never be like tht

  58. Bi curious Says:

    I mean the tenth grader would say what the fuck and I asked her what she would do if I kissed her

  59. Bi curious Says:

    What should I do. I really like my best friend ,she calls me her boo and sis and says I love you but does she mean it? I believe she is the hottest girl in the world. Problem is is that I’m 13 and she’s 15 and straight ( im in 7th grade nd she is in 9th or 10th) I have the biggest crush on her( I’m bi ) and she knows, lastnight I decided to tell her all of it and I told her that I wanted to kiss her she said that it’s kinda weird and akward over text . Before I told her , a minute sooner we were playing the game what would you do if.. over texting so I asked her “what would you do if I kissed you” at first she said “idk” so I said cmon sis so she said ” srry sis but i’m not like that” and I said ” I know I’m just wondering ( btw were not real sisters but we are kind of that close u know) so at that moment she told me that ” I would say what the fuck” ” do you like me” so I said ” as in……..” and she said ” as more then a friend” and so I asked her if it would change anything between us she said no … So i told her yes …. I do like her she said ” oh mmkay” a while after i told her all this , I told her I wanted to kiss her a moment ago, she didn’t respond I love that girl and she said she will never be like me ( bi ) I know that now how should I go about kissing her I don’t want her to be or get mad at me cause that would change everything and she prolly wouldn’t talk to me for a while ,, but I also don’t want her to yell what the fuchlk in my room either so my grandma hears. How should I start to or just kiss her

  60. mina Says:

    OMG…I’m 22, I have been in a relationship for 6. years (althoughv its slowly but surely coming 2 an end) with my bf and we have a 2 y/o son 2gthr. But there’s this girl I go 2 school with she’s just absolutely amazing, I haven’t felt this way in a long time we laugh and have so much fun 2gthr its like we just click she’s really pretty and I find it kind of weird because I have never thought of a girl like this until I met her. It almost seems like she is flirting with me and She always jokes about bein gay or bi. I know I like her and I’m pretty sure she feels the same about me but idk what 2 do!!!!!

  61. confusion chick Says:

    My first 3yrs. Of high school I was Boy crazy. I mean in every class I had a different crush. Well this is my last semester of my senior year, then all of a sudden I have this crush on a girl. I freaked. I seriously thought I was weird. Then time went on and I noticed she kept looking at me. And any time I was around her she would tell me I was pretty or she likes my necklace. I think I am over reacting when I think she likes me. Ohh… To even make this worse she is a…FRESHMAN! I don’t know if I should tell her or not. What should I do?

  62. Suz Says:

    Hey Confusion Chick,
    GO FOR IT! If you don’t you’ll always wonder. Just make sure you don’t make her uncomfortable…

  63. untitled Says:

    im 19 and i just ended a 7 year relationship with a straight girl who was also my bff. it was on and off and extremely exhausting. i dedicated EVERYHING to that bitch. i chose option #2 because i knew i needed to stop investing my energy, time, and money on a relationship that would NEVER work out. i feel so burnt out after this relationship, im too lazy to look for love and i feel absolutely hopeless!

  64. backandforth Says:

    I am 19 years old and have been aware of the fact that I have crushes on girls since I was about 14 years old. The first girl crush I had was on a girl on my softball team. I just thought she was soo good and pretty and I just wanted her to notice me. I don’t know if that was because I wanted to be good like her or because I liked her. At the beginning of my sophomore year of college (this past year) I had a huuuuuuuggggee crush on a lesbian girl in the LGBTQA organization at my university. (i am an advocate in it) and we kissed a couple times. Not to mention, I had just had my heart brutally broken for the first time by my boyfriend of one year. I really liked her and she was an out and proud lesbian. I am with a new guy and I love him dearly. I get so worried, though, that I will just realize that I’m a lesbian one day and ruin everything. When we first started dating, I wanted to get married right away. I have always dated men, have always had crushes on men, and have always reverted back to men, but there’s always something in the back of my mind. Am I just being over-dramatic? Am I gay? Straight? Bi? Bi-curious? WTF?! : ) What’s going on in my head? What do you all think?!

  65. hanban Says:

    i’ve had a crush on a straight girl for about two years, and i’ve tokd her a couple of times about it.. the first time i told her she thought i would just get over it. A year later and i still like her, but the thing is, she’s my best friend.. and she’s totally cool and accepting of the fact that i like her.. So yesterday i spoke to her about it and she said she was willing to try stuff with me, to “see if its just a crush or if its really love” but i dont expect #3 to happen because she says shes straight. But we both agreed to not let it affect our friendship (:

  66. Cat Says:

    Just stumbled upon this. I’m in my 30s and have always identified as straight, although I’ve had occasional crushes on close girl friends.

    Recently, at a party, I slept with a girl. It was my first lesbian experience and overall I liked it, although I wasn’t convinced it was definitely for me. The girl asked me out and I saw her again, and had a good time.

    My dilemma is that I really like her as a person and don’t want to hurt her. I liked the sex, but I’m not sure I’m gay and don’t want to lead her on. If anything, I think I might identify as bi. She is looking for a relationship, and I honestly am in an experimental phase. I don’t want to “use” her to experiment on because I don’t think that’s a nice thing to do, but I also am not at all ready for a relationship with a girl. I’ve been upfront with her that I’m not sure how I feel and I don’t want to hurt her and she says she understands, but I’m not sure she does.

    At that same party, I also slept with a guy friend of hers (amazingly, this is completely unnatural behavior for me — I’ve never slept with strangers before). I’m also a little interested in him, and honestly want to sort of see what happens with him. They both know I slept with the other that night.

    I’ve hung out with her at another party and she seemed a little clingy. I’m starting to feel stifled and I’m not sure what to do. I really like hanging out with her and I like being close with her, but I don’t want to lead her on, especially since I’m not sure whether I want to be in a relationship with a woman.

    Any advice if you’ve been on the other side?

  67. Wendy Blues Says:

    OMG Grace Chu- I thinks I loves you! 😛

  68. jaqueline Says:

    haha never really had that problem femmes are extremely attracted to me so i always have them flocking i dont need to even look at straight plus lesbians and bis i usually find more attractive

  69. adrienne Says:

    i asked for advice on here a while ago i was straight and a gay girl said she was into me and i fell for her and she lost interest. everyone had great advice and thank you i pursued her for a few more months then realized it was never going to happen and now ive met the love of my life and she and i couldnt be happier. turns out im very gay 😉 anyways thanks!

  70. anna Says:

    I have dated males my entire life. I have never felt any attraction to a female, other than as a friend. Then I met this girl. She is funny, smart, pretty, and just a great person to be around. I notice that I was attracted to her in the same way I have been attracted to males. It surprised me and I felt bad that I had these feelings due to the society I live in. Despite my fear I told her I was attracted to her. She was direct in saying she was attracted to me as well but skeptical of me for the reason that I am straight. But she has proposed us going on a date. I agreed. Just her and I (I have butterflies in my stomach) Truth is I was attracted to her before she revealed to me she liked women. How do I deal with these feelings? I am afraid that if I pursue anything it might just be a phase, or I might actually really be attracted to her but then she loses her attraction to me.

    Also I told my best friend about this girl I am attracted to and introduced them. My best friend is straight and has a boyfriend but when she gets around the girl I like she makes reasons to touch her and flirt with her. It bothers me a little bit but I just figure she wants attention.

    Can anyone explain to me why my friend is doing this when she knows I like this girl.

  71. linda Says:

    o yeaaaa. im gay and ALWAYS fall for the straight girls. its a real problem LOL. great post, just stumbled onto this blog but will definitly be checking the rest out :)

  72. aaron rathgeber Says:

    i like girls

  73. Straight Girl Says:

    How can you guys be lesbian? I’m perfectly straight and would never even consider trying out the whole lesbian/bi angle, but Im just curious as to how people decide that they’re lesbian.

  74. Rory Says:

    when girls look at other girls; their hair, soft skin, lips etc & get hot you know you’re a Lesbian……
    .Additionally finding men; hairy, scratchy, generally unappetizing & laughing at penises gives you a clue that you are not ‘perfectly straight’

  75. Bettie Boo Says:

    How do you decide if you are straight? You don’t decide that you are a lesbian…. you either are or you are not. And its quite easy being a lesbian when you are being yourself.

  76. Shane Says:


  77. Mike D Says:

    I’m a guy. I have quite a few lesbian friends. including one that I watched turned gay from straight.

    I’d like to think I’m a pretty open minded person who really doesn’t care what people’s sexuality are unless I’m interested in them. which is how I ended up finding this blog. I like this girl, she’s bi, I think. However it’s been 6 years since she’s been with a woman. She really looks like a lesbian, short hair, bit of a tom boy. she has tones of lesbian friends. which makes me wonder why isn’t she dating more girls. She’s showing interest, seems to be interested in me. I’ve only known her for about 2 weeks. I’m holding back a little bit because well I feel like at any point she’s going to say she’s really a lesbian. Maybe I’m too hung up on appearances, but she looks like the only reason she’s not gay is because she didn’t have the right girls. but I’m really into her. she’s gorgeous, really smart, witty and silly. she’s the favorite girl of any group, that girl everyone gravitates to. if you watch the “Lip Service” she kind of looks like frankie, but a little shorter without the fuck up tendencies.

    So yeah, I’m looking for all kind of signs, examples that will tell me what to make of this. Am i just hung up on her appearance and her circle of lesbians, or do i have some accurate instincts. I’m affraid I’m just going to have my heart broken, because i really like her so far and i can’t help it.

    this is probably not the right board to post on, but I figured some of you girls might oddly identify with me.

    One a side note, to the lez-girls who just hate men in general. Not all men are clueless, some of us know what we’re doing in the bedroom; not all straight girls aren’t getting satisfied. In any case, the animosity is really not necessary. you can like women without hating men.

  78. Rosa Says:

    Oh, this is so true.

    But it sucks so much! WHY DOESN’T SHE NOTICE THAT I’M THE ONE FOR HER???

  79. str8 guy Says:

    Ok so I’m a str8 guy in a 10 year relationship wit my girl and 2 kids. Recently this lesbian befriended my girl thru mutual friends, and they clicked. A few weeks later this girl has declared her undying love and infatuation with my girl. My girl told her it aint never gonna happen she’s str8 and happy. So anyway a few days later this girl says she was drunk confused and she didn’t really mean that. My girl accepted this and they remained close friends.
    But this girl is jus actin strange stalkin her facebook, gettin angry wen she can’t get in contact with her and she gets really pissed off and ratty towards my girl wen I’m around (rarely am I with th 2 of them). She also bought her a loada Xmas gifts some quite romantic 1s.
    I guess I have a couple questions, is this girl tryin to seduce/turn my girl?
    And does my girl see her as th great friend she says she is or is she lovin th attention or is she curious? Or is it all jus genuine and platonic?
    Can u have a platonic friendship wen 1 clearly is attracted to th other?
    Wen my gf said she would have to stop seein her to save th arguments between us she looked like she would cry and th thought of them parting broke her heart?
    I’m struggling how to interpret th situation because the lines are all blurry in lesbian friendships. I need some clarity.
    P.s I don’t for 1 minute think my girl is gay but if she was I kno 100% she would be too scared to tell me.

  80. rory Says:

    st8 guy: look at your p.s. “Ring! Dr Freud calling!” I suggest you get some therapy.

    MikeD; I’m not going to help you (though I know the answer) because of your obnoxious ‘lez-girls’ remark & telling us what to do on our own board, how boorish and that’s a good reason why we insult clueless males to our heart content!

  81. Straightguy Says:

    Reply to this

    .Additionally finding men; hairy, scratchy, generally unappetizing & laughing at penises gives you a clue that you are not ‘perfectly straight’

    Some straight women don’t like a lot of hair doesn’t mean she’s not perfectly straight.

    I also will never date a bi girl not worth my time I prefer straight only the kind that will only kiss a girl after couple of drinks and hopefully not even that.

  82. Jessica wingers Says:

    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and Im in love with hIm but i am so much more attracted to girls and i daydream over girls not guys. Other than my boyfriend i can’t. Name one other man who turns me on. And recently i have developed a huge girl crush on a girl i met at college. She has the most amazingly perfect body and she’s beautiful and mire different than.anyone i have ever met. She’s so sexy n intriguing and part of me believes she’s into girls. I would never leave my boyfriend i.am so Im love however my question is am i.bi?

  83. Tellin it Real Guy! Says:

    I was reading this and was going to withhold comment since this is a girls forum, and of course they have the right to their space, and the right to be respected while they air their comments. However, I had to chime in after reading the post by “Str8 guy” but before I do, I want to reassure MikeD that you had it right. Obviously there are millions of satisfied straight women, and this need to hate men is petty and ridiculous. Don’t be offended by Rori, you can tell that she is just a pure hater!

    So, Str8 guy, do not trust this girl. Get her out of your house now! Tell your wife that you don’t approve, and that you know the game this chick is running on her. You can’t control your wife. She will do whatever she does. She’s her own person and free to make her own choices in life, however, you don’t have to sit back and wonder while you stifle your discontent with this woman who is invading your home and who has no respect for you, your family, your children or anything that you may value. I have seen this scenario many times. I had a wife of 2 decades and 2 young children. A woman moved in the same way that you are describing. We’re now divorced. They have been together for a couple of years now and all seems well. It will probably end badly at some point and my ex will probably even be dating men again someday. However, many guys are caught off guard by these predators. Society shuns men constantly. They talk about how we prey on women, on young girls, on people’s weaknesses, etc, etc. However, I have heard countless amazing stories from unsuspecting men, husbands and blindsided boyfriends about these stealth predators who view people’s family’s as their own selfish conquest. Trust me, stomp this girl out of your presence. Tell her she’s not welcome. Call her parents. Tell her family. Let your own friends and relatives know what she is up to so that your wife has other voices of reason to turn to. Let her know to her face that you know exactly what she’s up to and that if she thinks she’s man enough to go head to head with you and pose a challenge for everything that you consider sacred and precious in your life that you are up for that challenge. If your girl eventually runs to her, that’s out of your control, but you don’t have to sit quietly by. I did exactly that. I was respecting my wife’s need to satisfy a curiosity. I even respected this woman while she infiltrated our home. We entertained her for dinner and she was exposed to my children. None of which she had any respect for. I don’t want to send the wrong message. I trust women and I certainly don’t hate lesbians. I would have the same disdain for any man who would systematically set out to destroy a family and I don’t think most lesbians are malicious. Many lesbians I’ve spoken to also have pure disdain for these types of malicious women. It seems to be a select few who live for the whole notion of destroying families and who look at the conquest of turning out a straight chick the way a hedge fund manager goes in for the kill. I’ve heard the story way too many times for my situation to be just some fluke coincidence. I’ve heard it from men and have even heard from many gay women that they know the type and that men need to be aware of all of the warning signs. In my case, they were all there.

    Str8 guy, “Wake UP!” You most likely have one of these types going in for the kill. Don’t assume that just because your girl is straight that she can’t be manipulated. Go full force and head on with this girl. If in the end she gets your girl, at least you will have spoken up and not been hit from behind. Even if you lose something in the end, you’ll have no regrets if you feel that you gave it a good fight and didn’t idly stand by while this snake slithers her way in. Good luck to you.

    PS – Hey Rori – “F*** YOU!”

  84. robyn Says:

    Ok well I am a lesbian and I honestly don’t believe in the whole turning straight girls business. I believe that sexuality has not just to do with attraction but a person’s history of behavior must be taken into account. So I believe that yes a girl might sleep with another girl but generally she is attracted to men, and she usually sleeps with men therefore she is straight. So you can’t base your entire life on a one time thing.

    But what is interesting to me is when straight girls find out I am a lesbian and sometimes it just sparks their inner curiosity. With no gestures at all from me sometimes they will just come out and make moves on me, I don’t understand why.

    I think you’ve only captured one side of this argument. Not all lesbians coax hoping to capture some unattainable object. Some women are simply drawn to what they think they shouldn’t have. And they very boldly set out ways to try something new.

    I for one never date straight girls, sex well that’s hard to pass up but as the lesbian in this case most of my ‘affairs’ tend to be the ones heart broken. A very rich person I would be if a value was placed on the phrase “I love you soo much and I don’t understand why.”

    Lol maybe I’m doing their ex boyfriends a favor because I tend to cut them off just as quickly as I snag them. But please don’t mistake the typical lesbian to be a straight girl seeker. We are just women that love women.

  85. Shelby Says:

    Good article….
    But its funny I came across it as I google searched “I like girls and Im not supposed to”. lol. I’ve never been with a girl, but I’m so into them. I liked a straight girl. Told her I liked her, but of course… there was no persuasion there. The “flirting” is just friendliness. Teases. But with family, religion, and some friends the idea of being with a girl is frowned upon.
    I think everyone is a little curious. Its nature. Im just troubled because Ive never had a girl and like them…. Darn those boys. They complicate everything. 😉

  86. lips Says:

    god!…I have a straight girl crush, but I think she’s not really straight and I’m straight most of the time.

  87. Caligirl Says:

    I had a straight girl crush with my next door neighbor, divorced straight woman with 2 kids, it turned out to be a complete and utmost disaster, and it has volted all of my emotions altogether my self conscience, my ego, my everything crumbled down to pieces …cos she said she just wants to be friends since she is 100% sure she likes men, but then again she just continuously keeps on doing odd things for instance called me up at 6 am cuz she fell scared at truck parked in front of her house or comes over to my place to ask for a silly something favor or if I comment on our conversations that her my ex gf dyed her hair red, and looks hot, she will go ahead and dye her own hair that same color, and I`m like wtf, does she or doesn´t like me, although we had seriously talked about it her response was like maybe in another life I´d date you, that just crushed me, but I did told her I was going to get over her and that kinda pissed her off, when I said well NEXT! meaning I was going to look for someone else, I mean if it isn´t her someone else would be willing huh? then, I behaved indifferent toward her and that got to her so I am so confused that I ultimately just decided for the peace of mind just to leave the woman alone and move on, why risk it with my friend/neighbor being straight when I can go for something otherwise secure with a woman who is a lesbian like myself that way I´ll be playing it safe on my ballpark thus avoiding a bad heartache…any suggestions? Do I just keep and accept her friendship and be happy with it or do I let it go for good??

  88. anonymous Says:

    I think you’re inferring a lot into your relationship with her. Most people like attention. Specially women who may need the boost having gone through a divorce. And from what you’ve said, it seems to me that’s all she’s demonstrating. And it seems she was clear with you that she is one hundred percent not lesbian. Even if that may not be true, you have to take her at her word, since she may not even be aware that dying her hair red is going to start a fire in your pants. You need to ask yourself if you really want to, can be, her friend; not as a strategy to wait out if she sorts out her feelings about being your gf. If you feel like being her friend is going to drain you emotionally etc… then you need to move on.

  89. Caligirl Says:

    I thank you for your comment, which is so very true now that I read through it, makes a lot of sense and yes, I think she (well most women) like to get all the attention specially her, because she knows she is gorgeous, and probably if I cling to her nothing will ever happen that is clear said and done, so I just move on, she`s got a talent to be flirting all the time, so she sends in mixed signals, from now on I won`t fall into it and just move on, eventually I will get over it and find a nice woman who will be willing and not reject my heart. Best of luck to all of you. These posts have been helpful in coping or dealing with rejection!!

  90. backdoorman Says:

    Hey Caligirl, dont feel bad Im a dude and it happens to me a lot I get mixed signals from most girls simply because it is in their nature to deceive us and play mind games through seduction call it flirting with us then act like they aint doing it, just to make u look like a fool whose after her ass, girls like to get all the attention since she knows you`re already drooling all over for her then you`ll never get anything from her if you remain just friends, she`ll be teasing you, and it is all bullshit cuz it doesn’t work out. no matter how nice a friend you are to her, like if you take her out buy her a drink or drive her around you`ll become just that the friend she uses to do them things so I say cut all ties with her before you`re whooped! unless you can live in the friend zone but personal experience it doesn’t work! and she wants you all to herself maybe start dating other women and show her you are moving on maybe that will make her spark up a bit and realize she missed out on ya!! there´s plenty of fish in the sea out there you`ll see.

  91. Gwen Says:

    I’m a straight girl and at 27 I just recently started to have feelings for another girl, who openly identifies as being gay, for the first time.

    I bet I wont act because

    a) I’m a chicken shit 😉
    b) I’m just as terrified that she won’t reciprocate as any dude I’ve had feelings for
    c) Even before reading this article and the posts I had the feeling that maybe it wouldn’t be fair for me to pursue it anyway, because I’ve pretty much felt straight up until now, and I don’t know that I can promise that the attraction will last…
    d) Then again I guess I can’t promise any guy that either…
    e) All of this thinking is making my head explode

    Okay I’m basically just ranting, but I just didn’t have anyone to talk to about it and felt like I needed to get it out somewhere.

    Thanks for everyone who commented; it’s given me lots of different viewpoints to consider.

    Gwen :)

  92. Caligirl Says:

    Hi, well if you don`t express your feelings toward her, you will never know if she`ll reciprocate, it`s a 50/50 chance, anyhow the fear of rejection is what hinders most of us when we develop feelings for someone, it is complex; because she might turn you down, like in my case, your situation is the opposite of mine with my straight girl crush, it is best to vent it out, and just take a shot of tequila and don`t just blurt it out loud to her, just be smooth about it and see what happens, otherwise, you`ll never know what might`ve been: and the thought of that that punishes anyone you`ll have it lingering on the back of your brain.
    Good Luck,

  93. Ashley Says:

    Okay grace and sacha .. you two are absolutely hilarious

    This article is so true..but in saying that..I have managed to find myself in a relationship with a straight girl..it just happened and it was her doing. I must say if you are bestfriends with the straightgirl first, its more likely for it to happen all on its own with out any pushing or shoving, makes it a little less painful and falling hard for the right reason is all the more enjoyable :)

  94. Bella Says:

    I am a straight girl and I fell in love with my best friend who is gay. At first I was intrigued and attracted to her so one thing led to another and I made my move after a couple of drinks, thinking it would just be a one night fling. But after the best sex of my life and being treated like a queen I fell hard and we are now coming up to our one year anniversary and I’ve never been happier. So you beautiful lesbian ladies, it can happen!

  95. Jessica Says:

    I’m straight and I have no desire to be with another woman. I don’t understand how you can sit there and try to convence a straight woman she is gay or bi. I’ve had this happen before and I told the woman to back off or lose some of her front teeth.

  96. Grace Yip Says:

    @Jessica: And you’re here because….. ?

  97. Jessica Says:

    because I have every right to stand up for the innocent women you all to try to conceive they are gay and shove your lifestyle down their throats. If you know it will end badly then don’t go there. I don’t judge anyone but I think what you all do is wrong. You should respect their decision not try to brainwash straight women. It’s very disrespectful.

  98. Sunset Says:

    @Jessica The irony, of course, is that lesbians will howl angrily and scream bloody murder if a straight guy flirts with a lesbian or discussing “turning” a lesbian, while a lesbian “turning” a straight girl is condoned. And then, of course, lesbians turn around and consider being bisexual worse than being homophobic. I don’t get it either.

  99. Caligirl Says:

    the problem is that some straight women (not generalizing), are attention getters and for instance my next door neighbor knew my sexual preferences, despite that she knew, she still went ahead flirting with me, she even cooked meals and stuff, she sent all mixed signals and was very twisted saying and doing things, just plain flirting all with me all the time that even an 8 year old would know what she was doing and wanting to get to, when I had the guts and told her I was falling for her, as a result of her flirting she freaked out and busted saying she wasn`t into me and that she was confused, and then she busted out saying she was innocently flirtatious and I got it all wrong, a 32 year old woman, knows when she`s flirting to allure, doesn`t she?? Ultimately what is the purpose of flirting when you want someone or something with someone??? I respected her until I realized she was doing it all on purpose; otherwise I would not have even looked at her, and what she did, well, that was wicked!

  100. marrog Says:

    @Jessica: I can’t speak for anyone else but at one point in my life I came to live by the axiom: “The question is not ‘is she gay?’ – it’s ‘would she do me?'” The answer to the first question being ‘no’ really doesn’t turn out to have that much bearing on the second…

    Without wanting to seem patronising, I think you’re being a little prescriptive. In the same way that I’ve seen it to be true that one or two lesbians I knew really did just need to meet ‘the right man’, likewise some straight women are most certainly up for it with ‘the right woman’.

    Sexuality is not definitive. It’s mutable, plastic – who you’re attracted to changes not only with person to person that you meet, not only throughout your life but is even affected by something as simple as your menstrual cycle.

    People are not simple, and sexuality is certainly not as simple as many (perhaps most?) people would like it to be. Due to their sexuality being unconventional to start with, LGBT folk are best placed to see and understand that (although plenty of them still don’t).

    It’s okay to not be into same sex relations. But unless a person’s been definitively, specifically informed “No really, in your specific case too, it’s not gonna happen” then she’s, well, a little wishful in her thinking, perhaps, for trying to go there. But not a bad person – no more than that guy who took a chance and asked to buy you a drink at that bar that time. People are just people, and as long as they treat each other respectfully, they shouldn’t be villified for that – even if they are challenging your perceptions of who you are and what gender you are attracted to.

  101. Straight n Proud Says:

    @ Jessica nd Sunset”The irony, of course, is that lesbians will howl angrily and scream bloody murder if a straight guy flirts with a lesbian or discussing “turning” a lesbian, while a lesbian “turning” a straight girl is condoned. And then, of course, lesbians turn around and consider being bisexual worse than being homophobic. I don’t get it either.”
    Yes, Yes speak the truth.Oh man. Finally some women on this God forsaken, blog that has the balls to say what most straight women are too polite and too nice to say. I love you both Jessica and Sunset, you really spoke your mind and took the word right out of my mouth. LMFAO rock on ladies. Too all the other lesbots here I have a question. Since it is alright to turn a straight chick bi or lesbians, then is it okay, by virtue for straight women to use lesbians for their own sexual pleasure? You know to passed the time when their boyfriend not acting right. Then move on when shit is sweet again. Think about it for a little bit.

  102. Sigh Says:

    It’s funny because I don’t believe ANYONE can ‘turn’ someone into being gay/bi/straight. It just doesn’t work like that, no one can make you like who you like. So all these straight ladies having a go at lesbians.. you’re full of shit! No one is forcing anything down peoples throats! I don’t go around flirting with people I don’t find attractive/have feelings for so straight women shouldn’t either right.
    And maybe next time if you’re going to comment have some respect for other people. We’re not living in the 18th century anymore, sexuality shouldn’t matter so stop being so homophobic. Some people are gay, get over it!

  103. Wealthygirl Says:

    Not being homophobic, I am not scared or worried about gay people. Why don’t some of the out there lesbians be more respectful and stop hitting on straight women that are not interested. The more you go at it the more more likely you will make these straight women homophobic. Suck it up and get over it too. Stop whinning about homophobia everytime some doesn’t agree with what you believe in. That is all I am saying. You are just mad and sensitive there are people out there who are not afraid of speaking the truth.

  104. marrog Says:


    No, really, it’s homophobic, let me show you how…


    Guy A: Good looking, sweet-natured, red hair.
    Girl A: Hates red hair.

    Guy A: “Hey, Girl A, what’s up? Can I buy you a drink?”
    Girl A: “Oh my God get the fuck away from me how dare you assume I liked red hair eurgh!”
    Guy A: “…”

    Was Guy A fairly treated?


    Girl B: Good looking, sweet-natured, digs girls.
    Girl C: Does not dig girls.

    Girl B: “Hey, Girl C, what’s up? Can I buy you a drink?”
    Girl C: “Oh my God get the fuck away from me how dare you assume I liked girls eurgh!”

    Was Girl B fairly treated?

  105. Str8chick Says:

    @ Wealthygirl lol it’s like these lesbian wants us straight girls to sleep and be with them out of charity especially hanban she can’t just let things go. It’s true some us girls like attention but who doesn’t? It does not mean I want to fuck you. Well got to go bye.

  106. Wealthygirl Says:

    @ marrog whats your is point they both got rejected Guy A and Girl B. And I don’t talk like that trust me. You are kidding right.? You are probadly stank like that The words “no thanks or no thank you” would be suffice. The same way you turn down a man.

  107. marrog Says:

    @ Wealthygirl

    I’m not suggesting that you necessarily speak in that way. What I’m saying is that I have no more reason to assume you’re straight (until you tell me) than I do to assume you don’t like redheads.

    At the end of the day, people are people, and they go for who they go for. Most people only go for the opposite gender. A few only go for the same. Some like both equally, and some mostly swing one way or the other but will make exceptions.

    What if Girl A only hated every red headed guy she’d met so far? What if she and Guy A got chatting and she realised, “Hey, usually I don’t like red headed guys, but this guy is actually really cute now that I look at him?” What an opportunity Guy A would’ve missed if he hadn’t taken a risk and talked to Girl A!

    What if Girl C only _mostly_ wasn’t into girls? What if she and Girl B got to know each other better, and she began to realise that actually, although she’d never really thought about it before, Girl B _was_ really cute and maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t so 100% straight after all. What an opportunity Girl B would’ve missed if she hadn’t taken a risk and talked to Girl C!

    Does it happen often? No. No it doesn’t. Usually it’s a crushing disappointment for Girl B and at best a minor embarrassment for Girl C. No real harm done, so why be so mad about it? Why is it so inconveniencing and insulting to you to be hit on by a girl? Where do you live/frequent that lesbians are hitting on you so often that it’s an enormous problem for you? (Because maybe I should move there…)

    But sometimes it _does_ work out that way. My first serious girlfriend was going out with a guy and considered herself ‘bisexual but will always end up with a guy’ when I met her. We were together four years. She’s now engaged to her girlfriend, who she’s been seeing for three years since then. My _second_ serious girlfriend was _married_ to a man and living over 5,000 miles away when I met her (online). She had never so much as kissed a girl. She moved across the Atlantic to be with me, we’ve been together three years now, wear one another’s rings, and will probably be getting hitched next year.

    (And no, I’m not Shane from the L Word. I’m a totally ordinary looking stocky bespectacled Scottish girl.)

    Does that scare you? Is there something about me falling for those ‘straight’ women and them, against the odds, falling for me that damages you? If you don’t want to be with a girl, then keep doing just what you do – turn them down politely when they hit on you, same as you would a guy – the situation is _no different_. But some of us are collecting toasters here and don’t really much care what gender a girl may have been dating right up to the day she falls head over heels for them, so why rain on their parade? What’s wrong with a bit of wishful thinking and a bit of chancing your arm now and then?

  108. Wealthygirl Says:

    @ Marrog At the end of the day people are who they are and want who they want so I don’t really care about your analogies and stories. Just like you would date someone you are NOT attracted to I am not going to either. I respect you, you respect me and we can be cool. Don’t make something out of nothing and everything will be alright. okay.

  109. marrog Says:

    Er… yeah… Okay.

  110. Wealthygirl Says:

    It just annoying to me to have people think they can think they can turn a straight girl out like a pimp turns out a little girl in to a trick. The words” turn out” has negative connotation where I am from.

  111. marrog Says:

    Oh, so we _weren’t_ done?

    All right then, one more time: ‘People’ don’t ‘think they can turn a straight girl’. ‘People’ fancy ‘people’. Sometimes they get up the guts to make a move on those people. If one person makes a move on another person who doesn’t fancy them back, that person is free to turn down that other person’s advances. If the other person isn’t an idiot, they will give up after a polite amount of time. It doesn’t matter whether these people are guys, girls, or a heady mix of the two.

    And let’s be clear: these straight girls aren’t being ‘turned’. _They weren’t straight to start with_. Nobody is asking you to go out with a girl. But some girls might just want to, even if they never have before.

    Also I have no idea what the expression ‘turn out’ means for you. In British English if something ‘turns out’ to be the case it means ‘against expectations’. As in “I met this girl. I thought she was straight. It turns out she wasn’t.”

  112. jessica Says:

    Its bad enough when men try to push we straight women into gayism so we don’t need the lesbians doing it as well. I’ve seen women get mad because another woman will not date them. They say “don’t knock it til you try it” absolutly gross.

  113. marrog Says:

    Okay so I’ve been trying to give you girls the benefit of the doubt but I’ve gotta tell you you’re starting to look like trolls.

  114. April Says:

    Sensitive much?? Don’t let everything get to you. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. It’s a free country. Don’t take everything so personally especially if what they are saying doesn’t apply to directly. Talk is cheap and opinions are bullshit and everyone has one. Stop feeding the trolls they will go away back under the bridge.

  115. marrog Says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many axioms in one paragraph before…

  116. Womp womp Says:

    Sunset on this blog is right, why is it okay for lesbian to hit on a straight girl, but a big no no for a straight guy to hit on a lesbian? It is like a crazy riddle nobody can answer. If a straight women turns down a lesbian she is call a self righteous homophobe. It is so retarded. Either it is okay for both sexes gay or straight to hit on each other or not okay.
    It is baffling to think that lesbians dislike bisexual women, because that are afriad that bisexuals would leave them for a men, but have no problem going after straight women. Isn’t a straight girl 10x more likely to leave a lesbian then a bisexual . I don’t get to logic behind this thinking. It must be an ego thing because straight girls are for more prettier then lesbians and bisexual women. Please excuse my spelling if it is wrong.

  117. marrog Says:

    “It is baffling to think that lesbians dislike bisexual women…”

    You’re right, that is baffling. Wow, _all_ lesbians? Even the ones dating bisexual women quite happily? I had no idea – I thought it was a shrinking percentage…

    Wait, and that same group containing _all_ lesbians, _none_ of them have any problem going after straight women? Every single one of them? I love that you’ve managed to calculate a risk magnitude on this too, Wompwomp, you’re truly more smarter than everyone else on this thread. 10x… wow. If I’d known how much more riskier it was I would never have hit on any straight woman ever, I don’t get to logic either.

    I’m also glad you told me about the more prettier thing. I’ve actually been going through life not knowing for sure whether a girl liked other girls or not until I asked her but now I know I can just make sure I only go for ugly girls. I’m also going to have to dump my gorgeous girlfriend, which is kind of sad ’cause we were going to get married but now I realise she must be straight.

    What if a girl is really fit but has short hair and a strap-on? Straight or gay? Help me out here, Wompwomp, I need some guidance.

  118. Womp Womp Says:

    I am bisexual myself and I have been told to my face be some lesbians that they did not want to go out with me because I find both men and women attractive. They also were afraid that I would leave them for a man in the end, like they can freakin see into the future. Meanwhile one of those lesbians I am speaking about went ask straight girl that I happen to know out. Ironic. The straight turned her down. Go figure! Another lesbian I know dumped her steady girlfriend for a straight girl on a whim because she thought that straight girl was ” hot and smokin”. This is where prettier thing comes in, like her ex-girlfriend was not good enough. Straight girl bolted after two weeks for a dude. From what I was told she just went MIA for month until one of the lesbian’s friends saw her with a guy. Maybe she missed riding on cocks go figure. The lesbian was left broken hearted and the ex-girlfriend needless to say will never ever forgive her and let her forget. Just baffling. Straight girls are just good for flings and just use other women for experimenting. That is why I only have real relationships with wommen or other bisexual women like myself.

    Here let me break it down for you so you can understand. Let me go slowly so you can catch up.

    Straight women like men. Bisexual women like women and men. SO IF A LESBIAN WENT OUT WITH A STRAIGHT GIRL INSTEAD OF A BISEXUAL, IT WILL BE MORE 2X MORE LIKELY FOR A STRAIGHT GIRL TO DUMPED THE LESBIAN FOR A MAN, THEN IT IS FOR A BISEXUAL. Straight girls my have been going through a phase or just wanted to try it. Not all but some. Yes I admit I was overexxagerating when I said 10x more like but I get so annoyed with the steoreotypes that some not all lisebians have about bisexauls. But turn then turn around and pin over straight women, like they are better and have golden twats or something.
    Maybe you are right and my experiences have clouded my judgement a little. It is what it is.

  119. TennisGirl Says:

    I’ve been married 8 years, and my friend has been married 10. We’re tennis partners, and have always flirted with each other for fun. Recently, we admitted that we have sexual feelings towards each other. The other night alone in the car, we kissed. And kissed and kissed. I wanted to keep going, and kiss her all over, but we stopped. We’re both confused….happily married to men, attraced to each other (and, discovered we both are often checking out other women…they are much more attractive than men!). I know I’m not gay, but not sure what I’m feeling, and if I should pursue it!! Why is sexuality so confusing!!

  120. marrog Says:


    I think it’s fair to say that screwing someone over is screwing someone over, whether gay, straight, male, female or whatever else.

    Kissing someone else while married is what it is: cheating. Whether or not the husband would think so, or would consider it as bad as kissing another man, is _is_ just as bad – it’s just the same. Being even-handed about sexuality means not making excuses, even when they might be to your advantage.

    There are always extenuating circumstances when something like this happens, whether it’s trouble at home, depression, anxiety, sexual confusion, discovering that a long-held crush is mutual… these do lessen the severity of a ‘crime’ probably in the eyes of many people (although perhaps not the wronged party). Sometimes good people do bad things.

    But to me the question is not ‘should I pursue it’. You can’t just wander off and have a wild gay affair because you and your friend aren’t sure whether you’re experimenting or discovering long-held bi-curious feelings or whatever. Would you just jump into bed with a guy friend? This is the same.

    The real question is: are you really happily married? Because if you truly have feelings for someone else you have to ask yourself what that says about your marriage, and you need to deal with that head-on. And if you _do_ love your husband, and _don’t_ have genuine romantic feelings for this other woman – if it’s just physical, well, get over it and move on, frankly. Because that’s not worth breaking up a marriage for.

  121. Kitty Says:

    I just stumbled upon this, I finished reading the comments and I gotta say, Marrog, I love the way you argue. XP I know it’s a little late, but nice job at least TRYING to make the world a little less stupid. >>

  122. marrog Says:

    Aw, thank you, Kitty! I mostly feel like an idiot for banging my head off a wall at times like these, but I sort of embody this comic: http://xkcd.com/386/ – I just can’t help myself! Still, knowing that just one person found my pointless debating at least diverting is good enough for me, so I appreciate your comment.

  123. Sunset Says:

    “You’re right, that is baffling. Wow, _all_ lesbians?”

    No, not all. Just most. It seems to be a very prevalent and widely condoned attitude, from what I’ve seen.

  124. heyheyhey Says:

    I am untitled, 19 years old and I dated guys before and had a long term with one for 2 years and it ended bad. I met a lesbian I worked with who had a girlfriend and we became close friends. She started hitting on me and flirting with me a lot after her and her girl broke up. I was confused at first but I liked it. Long story short she changed a lot of my opinions and opened my mind to a lot and so far its been almost 2 years and we are still together :) #3 does happen. I guess my advice to those lesbians who are scared to date straight girls, just establish the boundries before pursuing her. If she is very set on her ways back off because you cant change someone who doesnt want to but if she shows interest, and you want her too, then go for it! Im all about loving who you love and taking chances. love is love. :)

  125. Womp Womp Says:

    @ Sunset you are right it is very much a condoned and prevelent attitude. Well put. Straight girl are golden prizes while bisexual are lower then dust.
    Oh well it is their lost not mines.

  126. Amelia Rose Says:

    So, I don’t really believe in labels. I date men mostly, but it’s no contest that women are definitely better then men. All thoughs curves and soft skin. There have been alot of women over the years that I’ve been into. There’s this one girl on my derby team though. She’s just… perfect. She’s beautiful and smart and so free. She’s artsy and she has this smile that lights up her whole face. She’s genuinely a beautiful person, her life is an open book. She wears her heart on her sleeve. Did I mention she’s freakin hot? The thing is, I don’t know what she’s into. She made comments about getting alot of tail in college. Threesomes and such, and there’s been some friendly touching before, but you never know if it’s just for fun or not. She has also mentioned a current boyfriend. I cant stop thinking about her. I just don’t really know what I’m doing. You put me in a room with a guy and tell me to take him home, not that I would, but no problem. With females, I’m lost. My brain mushes around her and I get nervous and stupid. I just don’t know how to get to this girl.

  127. marrog Says:

    @Amelia Rose:

    Labels are useful but overrated.

    This girl:

    1. Does she know you like girls? A girl who knows you like girls making a point of saying she’s been with girls at some point (unless she didn’t specify how said threesomes were made up) is a good sign – it could mean she’s telling you that she’s into girls too.

    2. If she has a boyfriend and isn’t polyamorous (ie: openly dates multiple people at once) then it doesn’t matter what she’s into; she’s taken. But hey, you can always keep an eye out for said boy leaving the scene.

    3. Honesty is nearly always the best policy with girls and boys alike, and this girl sounds as though she’s the type to take whatever in her stride – even if she’s not into you she sounds like someone who wouldn’t be bothered by having a friend with a crush on her. Try making your appreciation known quite casually (although maybe play it down just in case) and if she finds herself available in the near future, well, she’ll know you’re there. Trust me, someone who’d play games with you if they knew you were into them isn’t someone you’d want anyway.


  128. Allison Says:

    OMG straight girls, are the worst. They play too much mind games if you ask me. Who cares about a bunch of freak hoe, skank, “sike a dyke”, crab having (STD), breeder bitches? Not I and any other real lesbian. Exactly.

  129. Allison Says:

    Straight girls are Overrated!

  130. StraightGuy Says:

    @Allison, what’s with the straight bashing. I like to know how you feel when people gay bash. Don’t hate all for the actions of a few. “Breeder” really? You know someone had to breed you into this world you ungrateful woman. Hypocrites are the lowest kind.

  131. Mattie Says:

    Ok – I found this blog while surfing and trying to figure out what to do with a friend who I fear now has a crush on me. (She knows my boyfriend and I are having probs and I think – but hope that I am wrong – that she thinks she’s going to be there when I am sad and need a shoulder to cry on.) Instead of being a friend, I feel like she’s preying on me – and she’s got another thing coming!!!

    This is the reason I cannot be friends with many gay women and that’s a pity. I am a straight woman who most definitely likes men and I am not about to change. (I’m not brain-washed. I think this is a preference. When fantasizing or looking at any visual stimulus (ha ha), there has to be male anatomy involved or I am not turned on. I’ve had crushes on boys since I was 2 years old.) My lesbian friends tell me that they knew they liked girls from an early age and I have respected that completely. Now, why can’t so many of them respect my sexual preferences?

    Friendships with gay women – with a few very lovely exceptions – always get too complicated for me. (I’ve had this happen with straight women too, by the way. I think that many have emotional needs that men don’t seem to be able to fulfill and perhaps that’s why things get blurry…? How many women trade sex – both with men and women – in exchange for emotional comfort anyway?)

  132. sunako Says:

    hey there im 20 and stil c0nfuse if im a bi sexual.. I like boys but i have so many girl crushes… Its diff. Feelings when i tag al0ng into my crush..ther was a time that i saw her staring at me..im avoiding that our eyes shoudnt met bcoZ if it d0es im g0nna die.haha

  133. Straight n Proud Says:

    @ Mattie yeah you tell it girl. The main reason why lesbians love straight women so much is because we look so much better then them. Two words Sam Ronson. Need I say more?

  134. anonymous Says:

    there are so many lesbians today more than straight women. this is very sickening for us straight men that are trying to meet a straight woman today. when i go out to the clubs on the weekends i always see women dancing with women and making out on the dance floor. that makes me want to vomit. i consider these women a bunch of losers anyway. some of them are very ugly anyway and what man would want them. i consider myself an average good looking man and i am having a very hard time finding a decent woman today to meet. i see it happening to other men as well.this explains why there are so many men like me that are single today.where are the normal women? in my state there are so many trashy women out there.

  135. marrog Says:

    “i consider myself an average good looking man”

    Now I’m just going by what I see here, but I have a feeling that this may have been your first mistake.

  136. Amelia Rose Says:

    @anonymous Wow! Get over yourself. You know what makes me vomit? Disgusting, perverted douch bags, trying to get my number while spilling their drink on me. It’s hard to find a decent straight women? Cry a river. Maybe it’s you. Actually, it probably is you and @ Straight n Proud You should probably get over yourself too. I know some sexy ass lesbians and some ugly ass straight bitches. @ Allison, you can suck it. I don’t have an STD or crabs and one of my daughters could be a future straight girl. If you are a man and you don’t like watching women make out then you are a fag and there’s nothing wrong with that. Ijs.

  137. Straight n Proud Says:

    @ Amelia Rose why don’t you go suck it and get over yourself, you probably are some ugly man looking predator lesbot that has to trick women to fuck you. You whole story is lies and bullshit. Straight women need to stand up to perv predators like you. I am not scared to speak my mind.

  138. jessica Says:

    You guys have gotten out of control with this

  139. Amelia Rose Says:

    Wow! I said get over yourself and you called me ugly, a perv and a liar? Well, I don’t look like a man… and I’m not a “lesbot”… whatever that means and trust me honey, I’ve never had to trick anyone to sleep with me. Although I do have to say, I am quite perverted. I really can’t help but laugh at how way off base you are. So what if I was a lesbian? Would there really be that much of a problem with that? Are you prejudice against homosexuals? It wouldn’t be a such a throw to say your probably racist to. It’s closed minded, stuck up, illiterate, think they’re hot shit cunts like you that make it such a pain in the ass to attempt any kind of interaction in this world. See, I can speak my mind too. By the way, I was actually standing up for “straight girls” when I told Allison to suck it. Comment wasn’t even directed towards you. Ijs… bitch.

  140. Tigeress Says:

    Let’s simmer down guys. Calling each other names and such doesn’t solve anything. If straight women are soo that upset maybe they shouldn’t visit this site. Otherwise, they should shut this particular blog down, it’s 3 years old anyway (may 2008 talk about old.). This blog is obviously rubbing some people the wrong way (trolls). Let’s all respect one another please.

  141. beeslee Says:

    I’m guilty for not reading all of your comments right now, but I needed to get something off my chest. Is it possible some of us are just attracted to feminine chicks? I live in maine where there are not very many available attractive feminine lesbian chicks around, period! As for thinking any of us lesbians crushing on straight women, I disagree with thinking we can turn them straight. Just let it be. Personal experiance tells me, if they like you, get to know them, make friends. Make friends! AhHah! spark, possibly, just don’t think too much about itl. aLL in due time. Look at the chick for who she is, don’t be selfous about what you want, you might learn something.

  142. beeslee Says:


  143. Sarah C Says:

    I read this post and realised that my plan for tomorrow will never work..

    I’m 15 and have liked my best friend for three years… aaand no suprize here she’s straight. I was going to ask her to stay the night with me tomorrow so we could hang.. and I was going to tell her how I felt. She is an amazing person and the first girl I thought I loved, and only one I like now. every time I tell myself that I can’t like her because she’s straight the word “love” comes to mind.

    She shows a lot of promise of being a lesbian, though she over reacted when the hottest lesbian in our school liked her. She tells me she loves me, she has cuddled with me when she stayed at my house, she’s held my hand and jokingly confessed loving feelings for me (but it seemed all too real) AND she’s NEVER had a boyfriend and hates it when guys hit on her, yet when girls do she goes along with it.. yet it’s as a joke.

    I haven’t seen her in a few months but I have to reconnect because no matter how hard I try.. I can’t break these feelings for her..

    so tomorrow is my last hope..

  144. Sarah C Says:

    and addition to that please email me or reply with advice.


  145. CaLiGirl Says:

    @ Sarah C,
    Hi well first of all I don`t want to discourage you from giving it a shot given what you have written that she shows she might be leaning to being lesbian, however, take it easy don`t push things, dnt go too strong on her, in other words don`t overwhelm her in letting her know you love her or got feelings for her, she might be confused, otherwise it MIGHT turn into a horrible and uncomfortable situation for both of you specially if you 2 are friends, it[d be akward unless you both have a strong bond friendship should not make a difference if you go up to her with your feelings…. besides that, let me tell you that not all straight girls but some do, sometimes act insanely weird around a girl they know is lesbian, and tend to give off mixed signals which we misinterpret and thus have our sensitive hearts broken, so trying to save you some heart ache since you’re so young. I can[t crush your hopes for letting her know how you feel because I am the type of person that despite the heart ache later on speaking the honest feelings will bring I go for what I want and love so I risk it all take a dive even though I know it will hurt me if it doesn’t turn out well. So best of luck to you!!!

  146. Sarah Says:

    thanks for your advice..
    but.. I just got my heart broken, I told her I liked her and she said
    “awe how sweet, if I were gay I would call you first.”
    then she started talking about a “hot guy” near her house..
    I cried, right there, at least we were talking over the phone and not face to face.
    I’ve never felt this bad before, not on any break up or turn down. why is this straight girl the thing that keeps me going?

  147. CaLiGirl Says:

    @ Sarah C
    Aww I am so sorry to hear that truly I can relate to it, because that is exactly what I am going through right now, after this straight girl played me good and then tossed me and got offended by me loving her… All I got to say to you is to hang in there, honestly the world won`t end because of one small fish got away, there are plenty more out there you just need to focus on not losing it all for this one, and eventually you will get over it and cry or laugh about it until you meet the one who will love you back and not reject your heart. It`s all a process though painful and slow until it sort of fades off, Me, I got her right next door and have to avoid coming across with her in the front or back yard :( Move on you`re yound and I`m sure you`re sweet but need to find a girl that falls in love with you and reciprocate.Talk it off it helps! and occupy your mind exercising or trying to date other girls if you ever need to talk it off post me I`ll be online take care…

  148. Sarah C Says:

    @ CaLiGirl

    Well the girl I like and I talked for a total of 6 hours on the phone today, and are chatting right now on facebook.. and there has been so much flirting, but it kills me to know that all her flirting is fake.. I can’t stop talking to her because she is the only person I trust right now and we have been friends for years. how come I subject myself to this heartbreak? Maybe I’m naive, but I have hope that she is just scared, that she really does like me. I don’t know, there is no other girl that I even like right now, and most that I have liked are either straight or taken.. how can I turn my radar -so to speak- off of straight girls?

  149. Jessica Says:

    You guys need to realize not all straight women want to be with another woman. Yes there are some that tease but you all let it go on and end up hurt in the end. If you know its fake then back out before the damage is done. To you straight women, you shouldn’t lead on these poor women. They are helpless and fall for us because they think we can be changed. We should have pity for them being their friend instead of leading on a string.

  150. CaLiGirl Says:

    @ Jessica
    certain circumstances lead us to straight women, is not like we lesbians are hungting them lol —like in my case, she is my next door neighbor, divorced 2 kids, when she found out I was lesbian, she started flirting, cooking and dressing up more (for me – REALLY) I supposed just to boost her sel esteem or to see how far her ruthless tease would go on, I put a stop to her b.s. because really I am very attractive, sensitive, romantic, and I am sure can have any girl I want except her because she is scared of a relationship with a woman because of social pressure and sees homosexuality as a taboo . I began ignoring her, she then started to behave so odd around me, trying to get me jealous, she even brings this one guy that likes her, but she doesn`t, to get me jealous and rubs it on my face, I told her flat out that I`d never sleep with her because she`s got quite a reputation of whoring around so from the very beginning I told her I`d wouln`t risk it; she kept on misleading and messing with my feelings as if she wanted a serious relationship..telling me that she`s only been with one guy her ex husband, but I seen her alone with other guys so she tries to sell me something she is not and I don`t buy it….now she is just angry at me because I gave her my point of view. I don`t go after straight women, it just like I`m a freaking magnet they come to me…to tease me.Unfortunately with this one I fell for it, but I realized she is just empty inside and she is just a cold heart bitch, Don`t feel pity for us either I mean …just don`t play with people`s feelings in general, just be kind when saying no as you would to a man that wants to date you, most lesbians including me are strong enough (emotionally) to accept a NO and move on. Unless you are extremely romantic and pour out your heart at it then one no will drag you straight to misery and hurt feelings.

  151. CaLiGirl Says:

    @ Sarah
    You are not naive is just that unfortunately her actions led you to misinterpret and read her wrong. It is confusing you just need to talk it out with her; by being you and being honest about it and give her space maybe she is confused like you said scared and doesn`t quite have it all clear and there yet.. But don`t go along with her flirting otherwise you will go in to deep for her and when your heart slams the floor it aches bad, you`ll feel like you`ll die but trust me you won`t… life goes on, with or without her and you need to start dating other girls that do know what they want..and most importantly that they like you and fall in love with you for who you truly are..like I told you before you are young and can have it all you just need to know who you give your heart to. If this one girl you like is not into you let her go, and remain just good friends if you both care for each other, and if you think you can handle being around her as friends, that too, because she will kind of tell you her crush stories or dating talk and even introduce you to her dates and you need to guard your emotions so you won`t crumble into pieces. You`ll maybe feel dissappointed. But with any relationship straight or gay that is how it is believe me… I`ve been seen my brother who isn`t gay cry out loud when his gf asked him to be friends cuz she found some other dude.. love is not easy: but is the most awesome thing when you find a girl that loves you back.

  152. iymjustagrl Says:

    Here’s what i have learned about straight girlfriends as a lesbian: If anyone is lucky enough to find another woman with whom they connect to in a genuinely lovingly way, it is despite her straightness and your Sapphic sensuality that you are both friends. Remember your straight best friend is loving you to the best of her ability. She was born that way, just like you were born this way. Be grateful for any love and caring you receive from another human being. It is what we live for (to love and be loved). True love has no opposite – unrequited or not. And love, the primary reason for being, is what keeps you looking for the girl that will love you back in the most fulfilling way. :)

  153. Allison Says:

    People stop pinning of these straight girls, with all the lesbians and bisexual women out there it sucks to read about people getting their hearts broken or being played, with the few exception out there. That Jessica girl has a valid point. both sides need to stop it with the teasing and miss interpretations. Most of these straight girls are not confused or bicurious and they know full what they are doing. They use us lesbians to boost their ego and self confidence to when their boyfriends screw then over. Some of then seem to think it is easier to be with a lesbian and soon learn that is not the case. They know they can get away with flirting and kissing other women because a lot straight dudes get off on that crap and will not look down on them. Society is not going to put them down they same way they do to gay men. It is what it is, straight men tend to dominate almost ever culture. Lesbians too are also to blame for wanting someone they can’t have, the forbidden fruit. or like the chellenge of turning a straight girl out and once they got her they move on to the next one. Seen it done a dozen times. It gets old fast.

  154. CaLiGirl Says:

    Well, like I said straight women are the ones that look for me I don`t go up to them, and say hey I`m a sexy hot lesbian would you like to sleep with me? I go out as a normal person, just to make friends, when she found out I was gay she started hitting on me to lead me on, very seriously about it…But I could never be with a straight woman, I don`t want to have her either, not one can change sexual preferences unless you fall in love with the person and get past the sex/gender issue…but in the long run straight women – they will always end up going back to a man, why take chances?? There are plenty of beautiful and wonderful lesbians out there..

  155. just me Says:


  156. Anonymous Says:

    This story is so funny, about some stupid dyke who fucks only straight women and gets rejectin the end every time. Ha Ha What a moron!
    A friend of a friend exclusively dates and sleeps with straight women. They kiss her and don’t touch her below the neck, she gives, never receives but has yet to give up hope that one day, one of these straight women will go down on her. It hasn’t happened for her yet – in YEARS of dating – but she hasn’t given up hope. She wants that toaster, dammit. I guess it hasn’t occurred to her to, you know, state her desires up front. I guess she thinks they will be so taken by what she is doing that they will want to do it, that they will suddenly feel the swell of lesbian desire. I suppose it could happen, but as I said, so far, it hasn’t. So far, every single time, they end up leaving her for dudes, or worse, keep her as a “side piece” while publicly dating men. She becomes the “lesbian best friend” who the straight girl “sneaks around with” to get the best of both worlds. Because let’s say it like it is – a lot of guys won’t go down and a lot of women don’t get off on penis-in-vagina intercourse. So the straight girlfriend does her PIV thing -which she may not even enjoy who knows – and then gets her rocks off with the lesbian instead of telling her male “true love” to go down on her like she no doubt does on him. Inevitably, the relationship ends – sometimes when the boyfriend gets suspicious and demands she cut off the “friendship,” or when the straight girl gets bored and finds it’s not worth the trouble or embarrassment of being seen with a butch dyke and dumps her.

    So this friend of a friend ends up miserable and crying to her lesbian friends (and then getting super angry when they gently suggest that she consider dating… er… lesbians). She wonders why she hasn’t found true love. She won’t even date bi girls, where there would actually be a chance of reciprocation. She talks about longing to feel the touch of a woman’s hands and mouth on her, but she steers very clear of lesbians (which at this point, in all honesty, is probably better for the lesbians). Talk about internalized dykephobia. I wish her the best, I really do. Because the best would be for her to break free from her internalized homophobia, and finally, finally find her sexual release in the capable mouth and hands of another lesbian, the way so many women have found it in hers.

  157. Earth Says:

    Whoa, this is the most weirdest website I’ve ever been to. Is it only suppose to write articles for lesbians? And is it specifically design only for lesbians?

  158. Anonymous Says:

    @ Free country. We can write what we want whereever we want. Freedom of speech and the press.God Bless the USA

  159. Steven Evans Says:

    Just some casual observations.

    I am a mentally strong, perceptive and secure. 40yo straight man.
    I too have fallen quite hopelessly for a girl who is at the very least bi. My feeling are very clear on the matter. Whilst I adore this woman on the most profound level, I have absolutely no desire to change her in anyway. I simply want to be happy and all that she can be.
    What really offends me greatly is the attitude that her gay friends have towards me. We share a truly deep and special relationship, that is simply beautiful. I really believe I offer to her a level of depth she has yet to find with her previous and current gay friends.
    To her gay friends I am a pariah, and I worry that she will in some way lose parts of her gay social connections due to this, which makes me very sad. I am absolutely sure that some of her gay “friends” have told her to be much less involved with me.
    I also note some of the previous posts seem to infer distress when a lesbian “goes straight”
    It is if you truly believe a man is not capable of gentle, agenda less love.
    I have had many gay male friend over the years and in my opinion they pretty much have all loved women, yet it “appears” there may be an undercurrent and active negativity towards men in the “lesbian scene”
    Sorry girls, you need to understand that men are indeed capable to truly deep and caring relationships and that a fantastic and fulfilling sex life is not exclusive domain of female to female relationships.

    Most respectfully


  160. Quinn Says:

    marrog – you are my frickin’ hero, truly, where’ve you been all my life! :p

    It’s so refreshing to see someone with a quick witted, clever, snarky mind who is literate and open-minded enough to look at a situation from all angles… can get frustrating though when trying to enlighten or even “politely discuss” situations with those who are less than willing to take the same objective approach. That being said, people will be people, and will do what they do.

    Maybe sex ed in schools should include more information about PHEROMONES and how they work…. basic chemistry… like speaks to like, etc…. That Would be a glorious day though, when schools taught the full breadth of information on a topic – from ALL angles -instead of just the mainstream “status quo” ones that have been doctrine for millenia…..

    I’ll just hang back and keep my fingers crossed in the meantime 😉

  161. Quinn Says:

    @ Steven: there is always an exception to every rule. I, myself, am an exception to many, and proud of it.

    I have come across men who respected women on any and all levels and prescribed to no particular labels or stereotypes when dealing with sexuality…. and on the other hand, I have come across many (please excuse my parroting one of the labels being bandied about on here) “predatory” men who are out to “turn” all gay women and somehow earn a trophy or bragging rights or what have you. As far as I’m concerned, this is a problem whether male or female, gay or straight. It’s a narrow minded approach that can (and frequently does) lead to discrimination, slurs and even violence. It seems to generate more tension between the sexes, and who needs or wants that, honestly?

    A little personal background, I never even knew what “gay” was, until I got older and had the usual slew of epithets applied to me. I just grew up liking “people”, I didn’t care what color, what gender, class, creed, etc. I never noticed any of that. I just talked to said “people”, got to know them, and we either clicked or we didn’t. I didn’t overanalyze, I didn’t worry about what whoever might think or say, I just relied on instincts and followed where they led me. And in my opinion, my life was never simpler. All the stereotypes, phobias, and ever-expanding pools of labels has just complicated things more. I dated men growing up, knowing I liked women, dated some women, etc. I was in a long term poly relationship with two women for 13 years. Eventually and gradually, that ended. I prefer women more, but am unashamed to say that I am attracted to some men as well. I still just see “people”. My girlfriend of a year and a half feels the same way….

    Would that there were more of this persuasion, the world might be a simpler place for all, don’t you think?

    Wow, sorry for the long post, just got carried away there.

    Steven: Good luck to you either way my friend. I say pursue your feelings in the truest way you can, labels and cliques be damned. 😉

  162. Steven Evans Says:

    Beautifully put.
    Forgive my grammar, this is via a phone.
    Indeed, regardless of anyone’s else opinion I want the girl to be happy. I see such huge potential in her. Whether she chooses me or another girl really is secondary to my hopes for her. In fact I really feel (despite my pre-disposed male “wants”) that a sexual relationship has an equal potential to spoil as well as enhance the most soulful of “friendships”.
    I really honestly doubt that too many of her “friends” have anything close to purity of my regard for her.
    This saddens me greatly.
    However much like you, I really see “people” and try very hard to avoid labelling etc.
    I am 42 and have no requirement for “badges” nor do I understand the psychology of “needing to change” someone. I do understand how to love somebody “correctly”.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to post such a beautifully constructed reply.

    My best to you.

    Steven (

  163. Shelby Says:

    @ Steven and Quinn,
    I love this. I love how this whole back and forth conversation, two people from very two different worlds can talk things out. I feel that liking someone should be seen as liking “people”. That’s how I grew up to think. I never thought of putting people as categories, or “boy”, “girl”.
    I knew that when I liked someone it was based off how they treated me. How they were funny, nice, and had a personality. Looks help too, but what I’m getting at is the way that people generalize others. Everything is a category and a competition.
    Where did the love go?
    Steven, I think its awesome that you can date a girl that’s bi and know that you just lover her for her. Your not dating her friends, its all about you two, and I wish you all the happiness.
    Quinn, I think its great how you think. Keep living that way. It makes me smile to know that more people are positive people and just trying to be happy. With whomever they date. As long as they’re happy.

  164. Steven Evans Says:



  165. Straight n Proud Says:

    @ Anonymous That story was hilarious. Cracked me the fuck up. You are right she is a moron. Made my week. Thanks.

  166. Doc Says:

    Isn’t this is sort of hipocritical of lesbians, going after the straight girl? Reverse the roles, imagine if a guy was in love with a lesbian; according to you, do you think that it would be right for him to keep insisting to her just because she hasn’t “met the right man”? Or should he stuff his feelings where the sun doesn’t shine? Yeah, thought so.

  167. Steven Evans Says:

    This will be my last post.

    The reality of my situation is that I began reading at this genre of site to better understand my friend and myself. In complete honesty I was surprised by the more than slight volumes of “bitterness”. I looked to other sites and then took it seriously looking across the world.
    Most humbly, a part of me does exist that believes the planet would most likely be a better place were women to be in-charge.
    More of me now believes we just need good people in-charge.
    Dicks are dicks, something much to my surprise both sexes have an equal ability to excel in.

    Much love to you all.

    P.S. I have yet to in anyway understand, how a Lesbian can be “convinced” to go straight. I am in the very fortunate position to say I know some fantastic (humanistic) people. I have strong male relationships and I do love my friends. Not a single one of them (or anyone else) could convince me I needed a 180 degree sexuality readjustment.

    Go figure?

  168. anonymous Says:

    @ Doc
    Exactly. This whole blog is an oxymoron full of double standards. If it is okay to hit on straight girls then it is alright for straight men to hit on lesbian case close. Even out the playing feild because everybody fair game. The people here are hypocrital, pompous blowhards. They need to check themselves before they wreck themselves.

  169. Steven Evans Says:

    Hating demeans us.

    Love, respect and acceptance are key “values” in my opinion.

    Male, female, gay, straight, bi, black or white, good an bad in all.

    Peace my gay friends.

  170. CaliGirl Says:

    Well, I have respected straight women`s preferences, but they have not, they`re the ones that have made a move on me, maybe just being curious, but everything would be so much better in simple words if you all view us gay and lesbian people as persons and not as homosexuals. Lesbians have feelings also and I`ve been hit on by straight guys I don`t mind them, I actually befriended them and get along perfectly, eventually one of them is over me now, as I am over my straight girl crush which once again SHE CAME ON TO ME!!! Enough said because it is pointless to spend time and energy on people who still discriminate against and bash gay people. It is amazingly horrible how you view and judge lesbians, when there are crazy straight women out there hitting on me and that really don`t know what the hell they want at least us gays DO.

  171. Steven Evans Says:

    Wow, that is so not where I am or where I come from.
    At no time was offence my intention.

    My most humble apologies.

  172. sheenaMS Says:

    Great and funny blog- Came here needing advice. Im a femme lesbian in love with my best friend. As far as I know a straight woman with a boyfriend and young son. Ive been seemingly flirting with her and I kind of get vibes from her shes interested. We are very close and have been for several yrs. She knws Im gay and even agreed to go to gay events like the gay club and pride with me. She is the best kind of friend anyone can have and very worried about keeping the friendship. At the same time I can not help the feelings I have for her. Shes not just a crush, I have felt this way for yrs even having other realtionships I have always thought of her. I have hinted with her for a while but I have yet to figure out if she actually “knows” I have feelings for her or not. Im also close with her little boy and her boyfriend and the while thing is so weird. Wondering what I do, if she really is straight or Bi or maybe not even putting a label on it/ But wondering because of our closeness and how we arewhen were together, she obviously knows im flirting with her and so far seems ok with it that if once she actaully knew she may consider it OR has though about it since my revealing im gay to her, OR shed run far away! Help my head is going to blow- thanks

  173. anonymous Says:

    @ Steven Evans Shut up and stop being so self righteous. @ SheenaM why is it when a lesbian starts liking a woman she automaticly assumes that the woman is bi-sexual or has gay tendecies and jumps the wagon quickly. Sounds like pure desperation and wishful thinking to me that you are willing to break up her relationship just so you can get what you want . It is like you see only what you want to see. Or just have tunnel vision. Did you ever think she is just very comfortable with herself and sexuality and is just being a good friend by agreeing to go to gay event? She might even be scared to say no because she doesn’t want to seem like she is against gays and lesbians. Whatever that word is when people hate gays. It is like society will shun you if you seem that way.
    @ Caligirl how would you feel if a straight man hit on you? Nuff said.

  174. CaliGirl Says:

    you don´t read a lot do you?? A straight man already hit on me, and I told him I liked women and he understood we became good friends. Straight girl hitting on me, doesn´t get it, I got away from her cause she is chaotic does not know what she wants. She wants to use me and I am not no one´s sex toy!!!

  175. anonymous&nice-i-think Says:

    @ steven, I kind of know where you’re coming from. I’m in a different situation. A very good friend of mine has not-too-recently embraced her gay sexuality. Which is completely cool. however, she now has a lot of gay friends now that are wrapped up in their gay identity which often ends up making me the odd man out, literally. seems like everything she does now is something about being gay. And I don’t want to complain because I want her to discover herself. but I feel like I’m losing my friend. sigh :(

  176. StraightGuy Says:

    I’m the same as anonymous&nice… blah blah, I just picked a shorter name.

    @CaliGirl, please don’t take this in offensive manner. but the way you keep repeating yourself is a little annoying. you don’t have to post over and over to explain the same thing. I want to believe you. it’s certainly a plausible story. However, you’re beginning to seem like a troll that wants to create drama. you seem to dwell specifically on the drama of this board. at first I was thinking yeah, some people can do that; people often lead people on for attention. Even I can’t say I have been on both sides of that. It’s not always intentional; it’s easy to just do that specially when you feel a little insecure. I’d like to think I’m more mature these days. but after reading you over and over again, I start to wonder whether you’re even real.

  177. Littlebit Says:

    @Straightguy, seems to me she’s not repeating herself to be troll-like; she’s repeating herself because people keep bashing her despite her repeatedly saying she doesn’t go after straight girls and doesn’t mind when a straight man hits on her.

  178. CaliGirl Says:

    @ Littlebit.
    Thank you, I was going to actually spend time replying at Straightguy, but I tought on and what´s the point in doing so?. People sometimes are just too sensitive. I am not. Love this board it is a great way to share and discuss point of views from various angles, but it goes well beyond an opinion, enfuriating a specific topic. No harm intended there!

  179. Littlebit Says:

    @CaliGirl no worries. Yes, people are definantly too sensitive. I just found this board today. I’m Bi…or a lesbian…I don’t know yet lol. I’m more attracted to women than men, got bored when I was with a man recently and have a major crush on my female bi best friend…who happens to be married to my other best friend – a man…but I’ve never been with a woman so I don’t know

  180. CaliGirl Says:

    Well, so you´re discovering yourself then, until you define what you want, and you have a complex situation there, good luck!

  181. Littlebit Says:


    Thanks. right now it’s difficult bc I’m living in a small town without any lgbt groups or events. I don’t know how to go about finding a girl to date…but I’m moving to a bigger city that has lgbt events and a lgbt bar so it might be a little easier. My best friend and her husband knows I have a crush on her. they’re both cool with it. Actually she’s flattered by it and thinks it’s awesome to shop with me because “if it looks good [I] drool” (she told her husband that after we had been shopping and she had tried on a pair of jeans lol)

  182. CaliGirl Says:

    Well if you meet other people around that town you mentioned, eventually, you will find someone and maybe get past that crush unless otherwise you´re not willing to get over it and move on, I´d enjoy it until it lasts! Certainly, we all need to date, ultimately what is the purpose of looking for love if you´re not taking any risks! I take them all, but I am careful with my emotions and my heart psychologically I think I am somewhat strong on that…

  183. Littlebit Says:

    Well problem is I’m shy and don’t do very well at meeting new people…I have three friends…but I’m moving September 1st and hoping I can learn to be a little more outgoing…otherwise I’m going to be a 4 hour trip away from my friends and family and have nobody in the city I’m in…I’m going to university so that should help…

  184. CaliGirl Says:

    I used to be shy too, but because of the environment I grew up in, and essentially once I moved away to college I grew out of it and became outgoing and secure of myself and met lots of people and made lots of friends, it´s just part of of how you open up yourself to people without showing all of you, by just being yourself that´s how you get to know more girls or friends in general!

  185. Littlebit Says:

    Yeah, I’ve recently become more confident in myself – strangely enough after I started admitting I was attracted to women. I even came out to my coworkers and some of my family as bi…only my sister and best friends know I may be leaning more towards les than bi…well and now you lol. So I’ve become more outgoing since then, making fun of myself and flirting with a cute girl in the back (unfortunately has a bf)…so I think when I go away to school and escape the small town mentality of the people born and raised here (I lived in the city til I was 12. I’m 18 now) I’ll be able to be a more outgoing person.

  186. CaliGirl Says:

    Yeah. you´re young still, in my family everyone knows I am lesbian since I was like 4 years old lol, but it´s no surprise, because my uncle on my dad´s side is gay as well as two of my nieces, and on my mom´s side there are a lot of of us who are gay. It´s just depends on how deep is one´s perception I guess. I came out (officially) when I was like 20, and now I´m 32, I should say I have a good relationship with family and friends, I am still me, have never changed and that´s why people love me and hang out with me…Don´t rush into doing things or get carried away by other people out there, it will come to you eventually!

  187. StraightGuy Says:


    Perhaps I misread the situation. I actually subscribed to these updates and was reading your responses over a long period. perhaps if i read it all at once I would have had a more fair perception. In any case, I meant to be critical not offensive. Hopefully I didn’t come off as a jerk.

    having a crush is harmless as long as it stays platonic. I would advise you to not get involve with this couple in any risky way. It’s almost a sure way to of getting yourself hurt. Some bi couples are into 3somes. Which can be fun as long as all parties aren’t emotionally invested. Just be careful.

    @anyone wondering why this straight guy is here
    I initially came here because I was dating this bi girl and was a bit insecure about it. And stumbled unto this site while looking for some anonymous advice. We’re no longer dating, but I have probably more gay friends then the average straight guy. So I still read up just because It often relates to things happening in my circle.

  188. Littlebit Says:

    @StraightGuy Oh yeah, it’s completely platonic (except in my dreams lol). He doesn’t want to share her and the two of them were made for eachother. He’s got a feminine side and they’re a lot alike.

  189. blue Says:

    I need some advice relevant to the topic: (First of all, I’m a guy :P) I had a crush with this girl, developed into total heads-over-heels love; she made clear that she had lot of affection for me (frienship? maybe more? I dunno.), but she had a boyfrend (longish relationship, 2 and 1/2 years) so I didn’t make a move till she broke up with him. When I did, she rejected me, But in the 2-3 weeks following the fact, she was all flirty with me. Then I found out through a mutual friend that she had doubts and was thinking she might be a lesbian. Besides the fact that I felt that God had taken a giant dump on me xD, now I don’t know what to do. I need some honest advice! Any ideas?

    Note: If we’re talking about real equality, then the advice should work if the genders and orientations are reversed as well (If I was a lesbian girl, going after a recently-converted-to straight girl). I say this because in many cases, you’re saying to the lesbian girls “Yeah, go after the straight girl!”

  190. Jag Says:

    @ blue

    You got it tough there amigo!! you´ve waited 2 1/2 years already for this girl to break up with her bf, wait until she clears her doubts, like u stated there are only doubts she is not sure calling herself a lesbian yet is she? Maybe she had it bad with her previous relationship she feels dissapointed at men hence she turns into lesbian, she is probably not even near that she is curious or confused. So give her time, but do stay near her so that you can approach her and letting her know how you feel exactly, if she likes honest and sincere people she will appreciate you letting her know your love for her, otherwise you will probably make her confusion worse. hope it works out in your favor though, if not, then just live up to being her friend and move on to someone else who will not reject your heart.

  191. blue Says:

    Wow, that was some quick answerin’ :)
    No, I haven’t waited the whole of her last relationship, I met her in the last year of it. And she isn’t calling herself a lesbian, and hasn’t done anything with a woman, not yet at least. She did see women as more attractive than men, but aestetically rather than sexually.
    Also, I don’t think she’s disappointed at men, her ex was really nice and caring to her, she used to say so (in fact, I think the guy had the worst part).
    Thing is, I know me, I know that if I stay near her I won’t be able to avoid having some kind of hope we end up together; and it would hurt me lots to see her with someone else (Be it woman, man, owl, etc), then staying around is masochistic behavior, I would think… Right now, I’m considering telling her this (the hope thing), and saying that, even if it hurts me a lot to do so, I’m gonna try not to see her, as an act of self preservation; that I respect her decision whatever it may be, and ask that she respects mine to take a break, at least for a while. What do you think, people? I ask everybody, of course, but I specially want to know the opinion of the gay women here (mostly of my last post, but what the hell; of this one as well)


  192. Doc Says:

    Ok, you say you can turn a straight girl gay, but should you?

    What would you think if a guy finds a way to turn a lesbian to straight, let’s say your girlfriend; how would that make you feel?


    Is it really moral? You throw the girl in question into a huge sexual identity crisis just because you want to have a thrill.

    Is it really ethical? What if every lesbian starts turning straight girls out? Then would make a society where there are way less straight women than straight men, which would make a society where a lot of men are lonely, frustrated and sad. (It’s too much to ask for a little simpathy for the men, here? I know you don’t want to fall in the man-hating lesbian sterotype…) I say this because everyone talks about sexual orientation as something that *only* affects at a personal level and never talk about the consequences to society in general.

    PD: About the inevitable “if a girl is attracted to another girl she was always a lesbian, or at least bi” counter-argument: I do not believe for a second that people are necesarily born gay (that sort of thinking goes against free will, and always seemed a bit like “it wasn’t my choice, I don’t have to take responsability for it”), but that it starts as an idea.
    Yes, I do think that everyone has the potential inside to be gay.
    Or straight.
    Or a murderer.
    Or to have suicidal tendencies.
    That we have the potential does not imply that it should be brought out.

  193. marrog Says:

    @Doc: This isn’t about some New Technique to Turn Women Gay, it’s just about not limiting yourself.

    I disagree with you (as, I’d hazard, will most regular readers of this site) that a person isn’t be born gay (or at least with a higher likelihood of being gay/bi than the next person along). The idea that that has anything to do with ‘free will’ is a silly distraction – being born with some feature you have no control over doesn’t take away your free will. It’s not a violation of my free will that I’m short-sighted, or flat-footed, or have freckles, so why should it go against my free will that I fancy women?

    That also means, however, that I don’t believe everyone has the potential to be gay. I really think that the majority of people (albeit perhaps not as huge a majority as some would think) really aren’t interested in same sex relations. I don’t think that any lesbian on this board can really ‘turn’ a woman. If she gets with a girl, that girl was on some level open to it. That doesn’t mean she’s off the wagon permanently. It doesn’t mean she’ll never look at a man ever again. It just means that she had the potential to be with women also.

    I really don’t think there are enough of those women to try cut into the ‘supply’ for all the guys out there. I sincerely hope you’re not a _real_ ‘Doc’, proposing such silly ideas.

    And again I’ll reiterate, for the hard of understanding: _It does cut both ways_. I’ve known (I’ve _been_) the lesbian who ‘turns’ the girl who’s with a guy. I’ve also seen girls go from lifelong lesbians to getting together with or at least dating dudes. That’s really okay. Sexuality is fluid.

    Basically what it comes down to is that as long as you come from a place of mutual respect, understanding, and knowing when to back the hell off, _everyone_ – straight, gay, bi, male, female or otherwise – should be fair game for everyone else.


  194. anonymous Says:

    @ Marrog Sexuality is not fluid, well not for me anyway. It is just the media and the popularity of being gay, lesbian ans bisexual had risen. And if your are not with the trend you will be considered to be a bigot or accused of not being open minded. You can’t just turns someone gay, lesbian or straight for that matter. Either they was gay to begin with or just using you for sex and enjoyment. When are your going to realize that. Would you turn straight for a guy, I don’t think so. You sound like a bit cocky and conceited when you say that you turn someone lesbian. Get overyourself please.

  195. Littlebit Says:

    @ anonymous

    “I don’t think that any lesbian on this board can really ‘turn’ a woman. If she gets with a girl, that girl was on some level open to it. That doesn’t mean she’s off the wagon permanently. It doesn’t mean she’ll never look at a man ever again. It just means that she had the potential to be with women also.”

    She knows she can’t turn somebody lesbian. She already aknowledged that. I don’t think she’s the one who needs to get over herself. And sexuality is fluid. People often become attracted to others regardless of gender for reasons they can’t explain.

  196. marrog Says:

    @ anonymous

    Littlebit basically said what I was going to – I’ve stated _several_ times on this thread that I don’t really believe that getting with a girl who’s mostly (or only) been with guys before is ‘turning’ her – please note my careful use of inverted commas whenever I refer to the idea.

    In addition: I think you’re quite right that the media and modern social convention is much more receptive to alternative sexualities, and I believe that has probably allowed and encouraged people who (for example) fifty years ago wouldn’t have dared to explore their alternative leanings to do that, to be who they want to be without fear of censure (or worse).

    But you seem to imply that people are allowing themselves to be influenced by the media into experimenting with their sexuality in ways they weren’t otherwise comfortable with – that they perhaps feel ‘pressured’ to be bi or gay, that they’re made to feel closed-minded or boring if they would rather just do it the ol’ fashioned way. I don’t think that’s true at all. I’m not saying that no one feels that way – I would never presume to say how another person feels. But I certainly think that’s an idiotic thing to believe, same as it’s idiotic to think you’re only cool if you smoke, or drink, or play squash or shave your legs or whatever else people might feel pressured into throughout their lives.

    I’ve certainly never pressured anyone into experimentation they weren’t comfortable with – again, as I said before, the key sentiments are those of mutual respect and understanding. That means that by all means should the lesbian hit on the straight girl or the straight guy hit on the lesbian; just be cool about it, and don’t push your luck. Y’know?

  197. anonymous Says:

    @ Marrog and Littlebit. It still sound like everybody is jumping the bandwagon because it is suddenly a cool trend to be lesbian or biesxual (but not gay to somepeople) nowadays. You will see that in a couple of years there will some of these so called “lesbians” and “bisexual” girls that all of the sudden say the aren’t gay anymore, because it isn’t that cool. There are real lesbians then there are faux ones out there. It will that a while for their try colors to show.

    @ Doc. You say that you are worried that lesbians will be “turning” straight girls out left and right, and that it is unethical or not moral. What you should be worried about how you straight men are treating your women everyday and have more sympathy for women. For all that you guys put us through. Well I am not just talking about you specifically so don’t go spazzing out on me. You are on the wrong track with your ideas. You should be thinking about how to treat women better and not just about yourselves. Because sometimes after being mistreated for a period of time being by certain men straight women just might turn to other women and lesbian for relationships out of desperation. Change your attitude and talk to your other straight male friends. You men need to step your game up before it is too late or there will be…” a society where there are way less straight women than straight men, which would make a society where a lot of men are lonely” as you stated. That will suck for you.

  198. Littlebit Says:

    @Marrog. I don’t see it as a bandwagon thing. Either you’re attracted to the same sex or your not. and it is definantly way more accepted than it used to be but it’s not really “cool” – at least not where I’m from. I came out to a handful of my coworkers as being bi and the older male coworkers are fine with it but the 11th graders I work with act very akward when the subect comes up and one girl said my liking girls was kinda creeping her out…so I don’t see people pretending they’re gay to be cool

  199. Doc Says:

    If this is about not limiting yourself, ok, you even sugest later than it’s fair that straight men could hit on lesbian women; but it’s not really the same situation; lesbian women are more encouraged to go after the straight girls, and it’s more accepted nowdays (by yourself, by the community, by society, by the girl being hit on, etc); if you’re a straight guy going after the lesbian, you’re most probably gonna get laughed out of town. Even, lots of straight girls “play” being lesbian, which facilitates it. On the other hand, I’ve yet to see a lesbian girl “playing” being straight. The fields are not even in both sides. I think @blue may have hit the nail on its head above, when he asked that “If we’re talking about real equality, then the advice should work if the genders and orientations are reversed as well”

    Ok, I agree on your point about free will, the fact you naturally fancy a particular gender and not the other may be, in a stretch, a limitation of free will, not a nullification of it. A whole another thing is going after a stright girl (with or without boyfriend), that is done willingly. Let’s say you hit on someone like that. If you know the possible consequences, both positive (like having sex with the girl) and negative (throwing her in a sexual identity crisis, the disolution of the couple, the feelings of the boyfriend) and do it anyway, then, in the same way that you reaped the benefits, you’re at least partially responsable for that damage. You may say, “oh, but the girl knew what she was doing, she’s responsable”, but your actions were the ones that allowed it. When you do something like this, you have to put yourself in the shoes of the affected, if not, this kind of conduct can be classified from selfish to sociopathic. If the girl you go after has lesbian/bi tendencies, that’s for her to explore, not for you to impose on her; in any case, she should hit on you. You may say that she could have said “no” anytime, but not everyone’s will is as strong as that.

    (Just in case, let me say that this is not exclusively of the situation in question, it also works for plain old straight cheating: If a girl cheated on her boyfriend with a guy, it’s the same: Both the girl and the guy she cheated with are responsable for the consecuences) Empathy makes for a better society, I believe.

    I’m not saying that it is so, but I really hope that going after the straight girl with boyfriend is not done out of man-hating (I mean, there being so many lesbian girls around, why go after those?). In that case, be aware that you may have made him a lesbian-hater.

    Just out of curiosity, of all the straight girls you “turned”, how many stayed lesbians? How many went back to dating men?

    Also, first you say that sexuality is a solid thing (“some feature you have no control over”), something you are born with, that you’re either gay or straight form birth, then you talk about it’s fluidity… Which one is it? Because the whole argument changes depending on that. I still don’t buy that one is born straight or gay (in fact, one has unfocused sexual drives till around age 4/5. This state is called polymorphous perversity.)

    About “the supply”: You call my ideas silly, but that’s exactly what’s happening in my city: There’s roughly the same amount of men and women, but there’s way more gay women than gay men, so at any given time there’s a large exedent of men that are lonely. That my ideas don’t agree with yours (or even in the case they may not be P.C., reality is not always P.C.) doesn’t make them silly. I’m open to the fact I might be wrong, and I think things through. I don’t want you to think I just pull this stuff out of my ass, you know.


    About being mistreated by the opposite sex turing you gay (I’m assuming you’re agreeing on the point that it’s possible to “turn” someone, for the implications of your post), let me tell you about my brother: He’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet, he cares a lot about everyone, even the people that has been mean to him, and he’s rather good looking (way more than me at least; not that that’s a very good indicative 😀 ), speaks 4 languages, and has a very wide range of interests; yet, he’s already 25, never been in a relationship, never had sex, he’s been rejected countless times, oppenly mocked some times, this makes for him very hard to approach women, and since the great majority of straight women (an subset of lesbian women as well, I suspect; but that’s neither here or there) depend on being approached (Something I never understood. The fact that there are lesbian couples proves that women can be the ones to do the approach. Wasn’t all the feminist movement about “Yes, we can do it”? Why not apply it to this?) he’s sort of trapped in a vicious cycle; all of which has made him very shy and depressive. You could understand him if he thought that he’s been mistreated and neglected by the opposite gender; yet he didn’t “turn” gay (althought I think no one could blame him if he did, at this point).*

    So, no, I don’t think women are the de facto victims in all situations. I think most complaints people have of the opposite gender originate in misbehaviors of their own gender. For example, if you consider there’s a lot of men that are bastards to women out there, maybe it’s because they are successful being like that? Maybe that’s why there’s more of them, not less? If they see that behaving badly only brought them failure, they’d stop being like that. A friend of mine says, albeit cynically, that “Not all men are bastards. Just the ones women consider attractive.”

    For what I’ve seen, it’s easier to get women to try a gay experience than men. Maybe because with lesbianism does not have the giant stigma that sodomy has, maybe because the concept of beauty has been leaning to the femenine qualities (Yes, you could argue that a lot of girls are dressing and fixing up “androgynously”, but it’s always to accent femenine qualties; no girl wants to look like Burt Reynolds), so it’s feacible than an “unbalanced” state might be very possible.

    *As a sidenote, it’s something that happened to my brother lately that made me write here, a situation very similar to the one described by @blue up there; long story short, he’s very into a girl for a long time, she has some feelings for him as well, but she has a long-standing boyfriend so he doesn’t do anything. After a while she breaks up with him, about 3 weeks later my brother tells her that he had some feelings for her (something that was very hard to do for him, given his past), she rejects him; later he finds out that in that month, a “friend” of his, a bi girl that knew how much he loved her, approached this girl; not much happened but it was enough to put doubts in the girl’s mind… now, let’s just say, that he’s much worse than he was before.

  200. StraightGuy Says:


    My advice would be to stay close. Don’t be too passive, but not overbearing. Go on platonic dates. Of course don’t call it a “date.” And I think that’s the best bet at getting what you want. It might help her sort out her feelings quicker. She might begin to really like you and not be so confused anymore. After trying out women, if she figures it’s not for her, you will probably have a better heads up to another guy. Or she you might get hurt from developing more feelings and losing her out to another person (girl or guy.) I know you think staying away is a good idea. However from what you say, you may actually have a shot and fact is nothing worthwhile is without risk. If you think you have a chance, it’s just silly to not try.

    @ the other people following this thread
    Any of you bored by the bickering at this point. I’m kind of tired of all the fighting, I don’t think I’ll be responding to those types of posting anymore even if I think I have something profound to say.

  201. brooklynros Says:

    I’m in trouble. I am gay and I just started a new job. I’m really interested in this girl that I work with and although I know she is straight I feel like there is a connection between us (lame I know). I’m too shy to be upfront or flirtatious and I have no idea what to do, especially since we hardly ever talk. Has anyone been in this situation before or have any advice?

  202. Straight n Proud Says:

    @ Straightguy ” Any of you bored by the bickering at this point. I’m kind of tired of all the fighting, I don’t think I’ll be responding to those types of posting anymore even if I think I have something profound to say.”

    There is a lot of fighting and bickering because some straight women are annoyed with lesbians trying to pick them up or hit on them even when they know full well we are staight and not interested. Then they have the audacity to get angey and uptight when they get rejected by the straight girls. It is as though lesbians don’t respect straight women and/or don’t take us seriously. If some straight girls just wants to try it because they wants to know ant to know what it is like then so be it. Lesbians should go bother them. As for me I just want to be left alone. I am just as sure of my sexuality as they are with theirs.
    Anonymous (whoever you are) is right more men should treat their wives and girlfriends better if they don’t want their women to go to the darkside.
    @Brooklynros I am just curious about how do you feel a connection between you and a person you hardly ever talk to? Seems like infatuation to me.

  203. marrog Says:

    @ Straight n Proud

    “some straight women are annoyed with lesbians trying to pick them up or hit on them even when they know full well we are staight and not interested.”

    Ah! I think there may have been a misunderstanding here. I would never hit on a girl if I _knew full well_ she wasn’t interested. I just don’t see any harm in making sure (again, in a polite, respectful way – this is _key_) that she’s not interested before I give up.


    I’m with Straight n Proud on this. Pursuing a relationship with someone who is probably not into your gender = risky but potentially worth it. Pursuing a relationship with someone at work = risky but potentially worth it. Pursuing a relationship with some at work who is _also_ probably not into women… That would be a little too risky for my personal tastes, certainly. If you have proverbial balls of steel and are prepared to potentially clusterbomb both your workplace climate _and_ any potential friendship with this woman, go for it. But unless she’s, y’know, Rachel Weisz or something, I’d probably steer clear.

  204. Littlebit Says:

    @Brooklyn I’m in a similar situation. I have a huge crush on a girl I work with. For all I know she could be bi but she has a bf. Unlike you and your crush me and mine talked and joke around so I was comfortable enough to ask her to hang out with me. Just as friends. I don’t think she knows I’m not straight. Some of my coworkers do so she might. I’m waiting until we hang out a couple times so I don’t make her feel akward. But anyways I suggest talking to her more and seeing if there really is a connection then ask her to hang out and see if a friendship develops. You can’t turn her gay but if she secretly is attracted to women or discovers later that she is, you might have a shot. If not hopefully you can get passed your attraction to her and see if you can get a good friendship out of it.

  205. Straight and Proud Says:

    @ Marrog You must be one of the few respectful lesbian out there , there are somen crude one’s out there. Thank you for sharing and caring.

  206. marrog Says:

    @Straight and Proud: I really don’t think so. You talk as though you can’t walk down the street without being harassed by packs of wandering lesbians roaming your town catcalling after poor innocent straight women, trying to herd them into ‘gay pens’ for turning. I’ll bet I know a lot more lesbians than you do and I can count on the fingers of one hand the ones who I’ve seen behave inappropriately toward straight women – or even be interested in them at all.

  207. Straight and Proud Says:

    @ Marrog Well duh oh course you know alot more lesbians then me because….you are one and I am not. But I have been heckled by a group of lesbians more then once especially when they are in a crowd, those women can get real bold. Especially the teenager and younger one. Don’t lie and deny that some lesbians prey on straight girls just for the challenge, thrills and ego trips. Trust me I am not lying and also not flattered. Just because they are gay doesn’t mean I am. I am just saying.

  208. CaliGirl Says:

    @ Straight & Proud,
    @ Marrog
    I being harrassed by married, divorced, and single straight women, a lot of times, this one last straight girl, after me, well it was mutual she denied having feelings for me, and then eventually she actually accepted she did have them, and well of course it did not turn good, it´s complicated, one, she is straight, two, she has kids…three I am not ready to commit..so we broke each other´s hearts. If you all stop labeling lesbian this or straight that, there would not be so many absurd discussions, when you love somebody the heart doesn´t see, it just feels. There are different people out there you´ll bump into them everyday, I live in NY, so I do. But not all lesbians and not all straight women are the same. I personally, would not go after a straight woman, it could never work out. I am attractive, intelligent, and educated and sophisticated, a lot of women feel attracted to me, and vice versa, but I realized I ought to wait for the right woman (lesbian) to come along, and she will, in the meantime, I just make friends with any other woman whether she is lesbian or straight, because I love women too much!!!

  209. CaliGirl Says:

    @ Straight & Proud,
    @ Marrog
    I´ve been harrassed by married, divorced, and single straight women, a lot of times, this one last straight girl, after me, well it was mutual she denied having feelings for me, and then eventually she actually accepted she did have them, and well of course it did not turn good, it´s complicated, one, she is straight, two, she has kids…three I am not ready to commit..so we broke each other´s hearts. If you all stop labeling lesbian this or straight that, there would not be so many absurd discussions, when you love somebody the heart doesn´t see, it just feels. There are different people out there you´ll bump into them everyday, I live in NY, so I do. But not all lesbians and not all straight women are the same. I personally, would not go after a straight woman, it could never work out. I am attractive, intelligent, and educated and sophisticated, a lot of women feel attracted to me, and vice versa, but I realized I ought to wait for the right woman (lesbian) to come along, and she will, in the meantime, I just make friends with any other woman whether she is lesbian or straight, because I love women too much!!!

  210. marrog Says:

    @Straight and Proud

    “some lesbians prey on straight girls just for the challenge, thrills and ego trips.”

    And ‘some’ straight women flirt with men (and/or lesbians) to get attention and stroke their own egos. There are always ‘some’ arseholes in any given social group.

    I’ve been harrassed by groups of men, groups of straight women, groups of kids – but you don’t catch me going on a predominantly straight internet forum and laying into hets making gross generalisations and rude assumptions.

    Go to the ‘sexual predator wind-up merchants’ website if you want to whine about this. This is a _lesbian_ site. Not an _arsehole_ site. You’re in the wrong place to be banging this drum so hard because most of the people reading this are completely undeserving of your censure.

  211. brooklynros Says:

    @Little bit

    Thanks. You’re lucky that you get to joke around and talk, I would but I’m way shy! But you’re right, I guess if she has an attraction it will come out or if not maybe we can be friends. Like you I don’t know if she knows I’m gay or not so it’s hard to tell!

  212. brooklynros Says:

    @ Straight and proud

    You’re probably right, it probably is only an infatuation. I don’t know her at all but she’s so intriguing and I want to get to know her on a more personal basis whether that means only friendship or something more. I guess because I’m already into her that makes it hard to know where to start or to even pursue anything in the first place.

  213. brooklynros Says:

    @ Marrog

    Thanks for your feedback I appreciate it. I don’t want to pursue a relationship I don’t even know the girl! I just don’t know where to start with situations like this. I mean, do people just get to know someone and then gage whether the person is gay, straight, bi or into them? It makes sense but the reason I ask is because I know I have low self esteem and if she was trying to give me some sort of signal I’d probably dismiss it anyway because I doubt myself so much. How would I ever know!? As for work, it’s nothing serious just bar work on the side to get by while I study..

  214. Littlebit Says:

    @brooklynros you know what’s funny? I used to be very shy. Then I started admitting that I was attracted to women and as soon as I accepted that I started being more outgoing. I’m not really sure why. I’m still a little shy but with this girl it was just so easy to be outgoing. Maybe because being shy wouldn’t make her laugh :). She has these adorable dimples. Everytime she smiles or laughs I can’t help but smile.

  215. Straight And Proud Says:

    @ Marrog I am sorry for offending you. I thought this was a public forum because of the lack password login of some sort. You know freedom of speech, and the press.
    “This is a _lesbian_ site. Not an _arsehole_ site.” Gosh you don’t have to be such a bitch about it. Now I remember why I cannot stand lesbians (too catty and obnoxious), but love gay dudes. They’re more polite.
    At least I don’t go on and on about how I want to start a sexual relationship handsome gay man just because I am attracted to some men no matter who they are. Just hoping he will have a change of heart and make me that one exception. Sounds familiar?? It is the same case scenerio as a lesbian who is in love with a straight girl (woman), just the roles are switched and reversed. Maybe you are right, Miss high and mighty, I shouldn’t complain and whine about some not all disrepectful, crude dikes trying to pick me up after I told them more then once I am not interested on this blog. I should just let it go and give them a free pass because they are women, not.
    Anywhoo, perhaps I will start my own blog about women and the crushes they have on extraordinarily gorgeous, handsome gay men. Who know the possibilities because as you said ” sexuality is fluid”. I will love to see how much traffic my site will have. I know it sounds like a crazy idea but I DON’T CARE.

    Thanks and later for you guys

  216. Straight And Proud Says:

    @ Marrog I am sorry for offending you. I thought this was a public forum because of the lack password login of some sort. You know freedom of speech, and the press.
    “This is a _lesbian_ site. Not an _arsehole_ site.” Gosh you don’t have to be such a bitch about it. Now I remember why I cannot stand lesbians (too catty and obnoxious), but love gay dudes. They’re more polite.
    At least I don’t go on and on about how I want to start a sexual relationship handsome gay man just because I am attracted to some men no matter who they are. Just hoping he will have a change of heart and make me that one exception. Sounds familiar?? It is the same case scenerio as a lesbian who is in love with a straight girl (woman), just the roles are switched and reversed. Maybe you are right, Miss high and mighty, I shouldn’t complain and whine about some not all disrepectful, crude dikes trying to pick me up after I told them more then once I am not interested on this blog. I should just let it go and give them a free pass because they are women, not.
    Anywhoo, perhaps I will start my own blog about women and the crushes they have on extraordinarily gorgeous, handsome gay men. Who know the possibilities because as you said ” sexuality is fluid”. I will love to see how much traffic my site will have. I know it sounds like a crazy idea but I DON’T CARE.

    Thanks and later for you guys

  217. Straight And Proud Says:

    @ Marrog I am sorry for offending you. I thought this was a public forum because of the lack password login of some sort. You know freedom of speech, and the press.
    “This is a _lesbian_ site. Not an _arsehole_ site.” Gosh you don’t have to be such a bitch about it. Now I remember why I cannot stand lesbians (too catty and obnoxious), but love gay dudes. They’re more polite.
    At least I don’t go on and on about how I want to start a sexual relationship handsome gay man I am crazy about just because I am attracted to some men no matter who they are. Just hoping he will have a change of heart and make me that one exception. Sounds familiar?? It is the same case scenerio as a lesbian who says she is in love or in lust (infactuation) with a straight girl (woman), just the roles are switched and put in reversed. Just another akward situation.
    Maybe you are right, Miss high and mighty, I shouldn’t complain and whine about some not all disrepectful, crude dikes trying to pick me up after I told them more then once I am not interested on this blog. I should just let it go and give them a free pass because they are women, not.
    Anywhoo, perhaps I will start my own blog about women and the crushes they have on extraordinarily gorgeous, handsome gay men. Who know the possibilities because as you said ” sexuality is fluid”. I will love to see how much traffic my site will have. I know it sounds like a crazy idea but I DON’T CARE.

    Thanks and later for you guys

  218. marrog Says:

    @Straight and Proud
    Tut, tut, way to both miss the point and misread my comment in one breath, love. Nobody’s saying you should give lecherous harassers a free pass – ever – I certainly don’t. I just suggested that you might want to direct your censure somewhere more deserving of it because, like most _people_, most _lesbians_ are respectful and sensible.

    Lesbian != sexual predator
    Sexual predator = sexual predator

    I really don’t know how to make the point any more clearly. I can’t _order_ you to do anything – as you say, it’s a free internet. I was just advising you on how to look like less of a twat.

    If it’s any comfort for you I can pretty much guarantee you that no lesbian who’s read your comments on this post is remotely interested in jumping your bones. So if that was your aim, object achieved.

  219. StraightGuy Says:

    OKAY!!! Despite previous declarations, this is a little too ridiculous so I’m just going to respond in a global manner if that make sense.

    Remove all the labels, doesn’t it seem like this is just standard normal human behavior. That is most of it is harmless and just someone trying to find someone. Of course some of it is from assholes and predators out there. but let us be honest. My particular gender is the most predatory of them all. Particularly of my particular sexual preference. Despite this, if we’re on a blog discussing good practices for meeting women and some woman came to bad mouth guys who whistle at women passing by, free speech and all, everyone would think this person is being inappropriate.

    Conclusion, this inflammation points at personal discomfort. To be specific, it’s just homophobia. While I’m sure most of these whiners probably have been harassed by men they were uninterested in. Yet they are not inflamed by there advances nearly to this level. Whatever the situation is it always boils down to the same thing, it’s one person making a pass at another. But somehow I’m sure I’m speaking to death hears since most people can’t smell their own stink.

  220. Str8 Chick Says:

    @ Jessica “Its bad enough when men try to push we straight women into gayism so we don’t need the lesbians doing it as well. I’ve seen women get mad because another woman will not date them. They say “don’t knock it til you try it” absolutly gross.”

    That is so true my ex-bofriend try to convince to have a threesome. He kept going on and on about how female can go both ways and it could be fun. So on his birthday 3 years ago we almost got into it with this bisexaul woman, but my jealous got the better of me. I decked the girl in the face as soon she touched him. Got arrested long story! Needless to say I dumped him afterward because I couldn’t stand him anymore. Got me a one woman man. Plus the thought of licking another woman’s twat is disgusting to me. I am not knocking anyboody. I don’t have to try it to know it is not for me period.

  221. anonymous Says:

    amelia rose you are a filthy low life lesbian pig. it is garbage like you that are destroying our world.

  222. anonymous Says:

    amelia rose you are a filthy low life lesbian pig. it is garbage like you that are destroying our world. your the reason why good straight men like me have trouble meeting good straight women today. you and your so called girlfriends should have your own places to hang out, not ours.

  223. marrog Says:

    “you and your so called girlfriends should have your own places to hang out, not ours.”

    Oh, the irony…

  224. Jessica M Says:

    OMG the Fucking hate doesn’t stop. Why don’t they shut this lousy blog down. Half of these people here are trolls and straight men jerking off on everybody else’s comments anyway. Look what happen with Paula Brooks and LEZGETREAL.COM. All internet lesbians are straight males til proven otherwise in my opinion.

  225. straight man says Says:

    straight man says all you lesbians should die.

  226. Str8andProud Says:

    @ straight man says.
    OMG you are over the top. Don’t be suprise if the FBI comes to your house.

  227. kindnessfirst Says:

    Wow…I had no idea that the level of ignorance against gays and lesbians was still so high and widespread. Bummer….we should take the time to love, accept, and respect one another. Having prejudicial beliefs about any group of people different from ourselves is like drinking poison and expecting the person next to us to die. Peace.

  228. Steven Says:

    Well I think you should obviously ignore such blatantly incendiary comments.
    With all due respect there is (and I have suffered at the hands of it) a fair bit of prejudice against straight men (of which I am one) from the (or at least local to me) Lesbian community.
    And for the record I eventually gave up my beautiful Lesbian friend, due to the amount of negativity both she and I received from her “friends”. Broke my heart really, but I could see how badly it was affecting both her and I,

  229. kindnessfirst Says:

    I feel bad for you Steven. If this person was a good friend of yours, then why on earth would you allow the ignorance of others to tear you apart? Can’t have too many friends and allowing others to choose your friends for you is never a good idea. Take care.

  230. Steven Says:

    She is the most profoundly beautiful woman I have known. But she is gay and ultimately would most likely choose to be around gay women over straight men in the long run.
    It was kind of weird in that we would spent an incredible amount of (quality/rewarding) time together. I truly believe that that her preference of women was based purely on a sexual preference. I have had many relationships and don’t believe that 2 people could be anymore spiritually or intellectually close.
    Sadly some of her friends and a prospective partner seemed to see me as some sort of threat, and indeed I did love her utterly. This never ever came before my respect and love for who and what she is.
    I honestly felt I really was the only one in the equation with no agenda and her best interests at heart.
    She is some 12 years my junior and I felt and still feel that sadly it is not my place to tell her what I think of some of her friends. She will find this out perhaps for herself.
    If I comment, I run the risk of really being dragged into a gay/straight thing that I cannot “win” because she is gay.
    I will satisfy myself with knowing that I will be around if ever she needs such.

    Gutted and defeated by ignorance.


  231. Rosa Says:

    @ DOC (whoever you are hope you read this) STRAIGHT GIRLS TURN LESBIAN BECAUSE MOST MEN AINT SHIT! Anonymous is right on the money. This blog is so commical.

  232. Allison Says:

    Most “lesbians” who go around chasing straight women are closet cases who have very low self esteem and internalized homophobia. I read an article about these lesbians and it saids “Lesbian Relationship with a Straight Woman

    If you experienced having a relationship with a straight woman chances are you have gone through some frustrations and discouraging moments in your lesbian life. And the reason is plain and simple:

    She is straight. As such, there will come a point in her life that she will crave the presence of a guy. You are lucky if that doesn’t play out in her mind. Can you make her feel guilty?
    She may want to have kids of her own. You are very lucky if she has already kids of her own, but chances are if she has none she will definitely want one. The absence of kids sometimes creates a void in a lesbian relationship.
    Lesbian Attraction

    While it is more advantageous to be with a gay woman rather than with a straight woman, majority of lesbians prefer to have a straight woman in their lives. The reason behind can be gleaned from the fact that:

    You can easily hide a lesbian relationship if you are still not out of the closet.
    Having a relationship with a straight woman can boost one’s ego, especially to the butch type of lesbians.
    Lesbians are more attracted to straight women.
    Be that as it may, the success of a relationship, or its failure, is not measured by who you are with or what she is, it is what is in your heart. If you are willing to pour your heart out to the person you care about then all things can be made possible.”

    It is some reallly sad stuff I tell you.

  233. marrog Says:

    Oh dear, Allison, what a load of ignorant, stereotype-driven clap-trap you’ve read! A post on http://www.y-woo.com doesn’t exactly count as compelling peer-reviewed evidence-based research!

    “Most ‘lesbians’ who go around chasing straight women are closet cases who have very low self esteem and internalized homophobia.”

    If you think about this for more than three seconds it makes no sense at all. Making a pass at a straight woman requires way more self-confidence than going for someone who you at least know fancies women!

    “She is straight. As such, there will come a point in her life that she will crave the presence of a guy. You are lucky if that doesn’t play out in her mind. Can you make her feel guilty?”

    I’m given to understand that thinking about other people is a normal thing to do in any relationship. Of course women who were previously straight might think about guys, but so what? If I was dating a lesbian she might be thinking about other girls! If I was dating a bisexual girl God Knows what she might be thinking!

    If someone is with me, they’re with me. If I love and trust them, I don’t care what they fantasize about. If all the time we’re dating they’re considering me a ‘second best’ to some nice juicy c0ck, well, they’re not really that into _me_, are they? And that’s what matters.

    I have absolutely no doubt that there are women out there who ‘went gay’ for a while to try it out and then went back to guys, but there are also plenty of women who make it well into their twenties or even much older before coming to the realisation that they’d actually prefer to spend their lives with a woman – or that they maybe don’t know who they want to end up with, but that a woman is a definite option. I’d be the last person to deny those women the opportunity to discover themselves.

    “She may want to have kids of her own. You are very lucky if she has already kids of her own, but chances are if she has none she will definitely want one. The absence of kids sometimes creates a void in a lesbian relationship.”

    Dear me, that old chestnut. I’ve known a lot of women in my time, gay and straight, and I have seen absolutely no direct connection between heterosexuality and broodiness. I know gay women who are desperate for babies, and straight women who have no wish to have kids at all. Let me be clear about this: There is NO CONNECTION AT ALL between liking the opposite sex and your urge to have children. Furthermore, having a family when your partner is the same gender as you may be a little more complicated than when you’re opposite-sex, but then, there’s also the safe knowledge that you’ll never do it by accident – same-sex couples _never_ have unplanned pregnancies – every baby born to a lesbian couple is wanted and planned. Now that can only be a good thing.

    “Lesbians are more attracted to straight women.”

    This makes no sense at all. Sure, everyone has crushes on people they can’t have now and then – that’s natural. But my burning passion for Rachel Weisz and Lena Heady doesn’t mean that in real life I’m more interested in women who are less likely to be interested in me. There are ugly straight girls and ugly gay girls, and fit straight girls and fit gay girls. At the end of the day, you like who you like. Maybe some lesbians happen to like, say, more ‘girly’ girls and a higher proportion of those are straight (although I know _plenty_ of girly lesbians) but that’s no basis for a blanket statement like ‘lesbians prefer straight women’. ridiculous!

    Finally, though, the last paragraph of what you quoted:

    “The success of a relationship, or its failure, is not measured by who you are with or what she is, it is what is in your heart. If you are willing to pour your heart out to the person you care about then all things can be made possible.”

    I reckon these are the only sensible or even true words in this whole article. Those are most certainly the message you should take away – and that’s not a ‘sad’ message at all.

  234. kindnessfirst Says:

    Marrog: I couldn’t have said it better myself!

  235. Allison Says:

    @ Marrog I know it is ignorant and sad to read. But sometimes from what I see in my high school some of it is true. Some lesbians are hypocritical when it comes to straight girls.

  236. marrog Says:

    Hi Allison,
    I wouldn’t take anything you see kids in high school do very seriously or take it too much to heart; they don’t live in the real world yet.

  237. Allison Says:

    @ Marrog Relationship with straight are sometimes out of pity like Jessica said over 2 months ago. In my high school I see it alll the time—girl who is probadly in the closet like other girl, girl wants other girl so she becaomes friend with her. They become friends and girl ask other girl out. Other girl might say no or and that she is straight. Girl runs a tyraid calls other girl ignorant and homophobe. Anyway the other girl feels sorry for the girl and does not want to seem like a homophobe so they go out. Other girl then sneaks around and gets a boyfriend on the side just because.That’s just pitiful. Hope the real world is nothing like this. If it is I might just shoot myself.
    “She is straight. As such, there will come a point in her life that she will crave the presence of a guy. You are lucky if that doesn’t play out in her mind. Can you make her feel guilty?”

  238. marrog Says:

    Allison, without wanting to sound patronising (although I don’t really care that much) you might want to note this one down:


    Once you’re in the real world, if it’s anything at all like High School, you are doing it wrong.


    So take heart! But try not to make any hard and fast rules in your head about gay, straight or anything else, just for now, eh?

  239. marrog Says:


    Oh, I forgot! Also!

    Re: “in the closet”

    You keep using this expression. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    If someone is ‘in the closet’, it means that they’re hiding the fact that they’re gay. If they’re openly dating a person of the same sex, they’re not in the closet.

  240. Allison Says:

    @ Marrog Thanks for the um advice. I am going to stick to my studying for now. After highschool I am just going to stick to “real” lesbians and not bisexuals or faux bisexuals and straights so I don’t have to deal with the craziness. I am not in the closet by the way I meant my friend who is always with a straight girl who is just as secretive. What works for you and other people may not work for me. Thanks again.

  241. Raven Says:

    Hi im straight and there is this one girl that im talking to and she is gaybut idk what it is about her but I reallllllly like her and she only dates straight girls but she has a girlfeiend but says she wants to be with me but she is still with her girlfeiend and I could use some help so someone email me.please! Ravenwyatt58@gmail.com

  242. Allison Says:

    @ Raven to each her or his own but to me she sounds like a whore who is only for sex. Come on she has a girlfriend be real. I had a straight girl once who used me for money and thing she then said she realized that she was not it to girl. Being with a another girl was not easy as she expected. Fucken straight girls make me sick.

  243. Raven Says:

    She doesnt seem like that.like today she came to work to see me she is so adroable idk I like her alot and I just want her to like actually be with me like she says.

  244. Allison Says:

    Then I guess you have very low expectations your relationships. Most woman are implusive when they want what they want including myself. We don’t see clearly it is like tunnel. Let me stop rambling . The point is if a woman or man cheats with you then they will cheat on you when the time comes and they get tired of you. Don’t be this chick booty call. Just tell her if she want tobe with you then break up with her girlfriend.

  245. marrog Says:

    Allison, you’re making assumptions again. ‘Most women’ aren’t anything. ‘Most cheaters’ aren’t anything.

    Raven, it’s hard to say without really knowing anything about you or this girl, but it sounds like you’re being messed about. I would try to move on and tell her you just want to be friends because she has a girlfriend, and that if that changes, maybe you will too but in the meantime it’s hands off.

    If she sees that she can’t get anything from you without making a choice, she’ll make the choice. If her choice is you, well, fab. If not, you save yourself a lot of time and heartache.

  246. Raven Says:

    She broke up with her gf last night (:. And she didnt cheat on her we didnt do anything because she has a girlfriend but now she doesnt. But I dont know what to say to my dad because im not gay so should I just be like yo dad im not gay but im dating a girl…dont think he will like that

  247. hombre Says:

    i have a question and this seemed like a proper forum for it.
    i am a man in a few months relation with a wonderful lady. she warned me at the start she had a lesbian not bi but lesbian past she is now 41. she dropped her lesbian relations 15 years ago. according to her she was very vulnerable as a a child an very emotionally neglected by her mother. her father was never there. not once for her. her childhood was quite troubled indeed. (no she was not molested, but emotionally neglected. she had a deep relation with a woman in her lesbian friends group (all of which turned her back on her once she decided to date men, which i sort of understand not completely but partly as it was a lesbian crowd). she is very shy an introverted at times. yet very loving and sexual.
    what it boils down is this this little forum has opened my eyes to the diversity of sexuality more anything i have read in a long time.
    yes quite a few stupid comments but overall as diverse as one can expect from our species.
    by the way my brother is gay and my daughter is lesbian. (but i do not want to approach them with this issue.) i am not in any way (that i know off homophobic). or at least i like to think so.
    my question is about this lady friend whom i am falling in love with and she states the same. i realize i have my own answer but i still would like to hear from others. sexual preferences IE. hetero or homo one is born with. yes people play at times in between. i consider that playing normal.
    yet when i see my lady around other women, mainly her close friends, she is much more into them as she is into me. (not on a physical level) mainly her best girlfriend. her girlfriend was in a hetero relation but he broke it off. due to the fact according to my lady friend that she is very dominant. which of course can be the case in any sexual preference (or outside sex forthat matter. as for example i have a sadistic touch in me when love making (i like it that way, an i do not see me as not normal)
    we are all so different yet so similar but thats another subject.
    my point is i am maybe not being to trusting to her due to her admitted past in this lesbian university group. and the fact that she was very much in love with a woman (she left her because she wanted her and another sort of a 3 some relation. this hurt her quite a bit.
    this was part of her decision of slow gradual departure from the lesbian scene.
    i cannot deep inside completely accept that even after 15 years she can return (the point is actually was she ever gay?). is bi here an option. men do have feelings and we are not all idiots from a trailer park.
    i am giving her a chance an dthis is my answer to my problem. but doubt due to reason makes me wonder if she really is were she should be.
    if she never spoke of her past i (chances are) would have never guess she had a long history of living a lesbian lifestyle.
    in any event this blog has opened my eyes to the diversity of all of us. and i do not want her or me hurt due to repressed feelings.
    what have you to contribute to my dilemma?
    my point is from the bit i have said and lesbian women knowing better than a hetero man should i trust more? or i am

  248. marrog Says:

    Hey hombre,

    So here’s the thing. If there’s one thing you should take away from the comments on this thread, it’s that sexuality is not a one-size-fits-all thing. In the same way that some people are gay and some people are straight and some somewhere in-between, some people have the same sexuality their whole lives, and some just don’t.

    Maybe your girl was bi before, bi now, and bi hereafter. Maybe during the first half of her life she was only interested in women, and now she’s only interested in men.

    I’ve read quite a few articles talking about the fact that there’s a not insignificant trend among some women that as they reach middle age, having been ‘straight’ their whole lives, married men, had a family, and so on, they get to 40-ish and a switch sort of flips for them. Suddenly they begin to realise that they’re interested in women not just as friends but as partners.

    There are a lot of pseudo-scientific theories as to why this is – testosterone in the system approaching menopause (which, seriously?), a ‘eureka’ moment following getting the biologial imperative to procreate out of the way (sounds more likely), or simply being a ‘late bloomer’. Either way, many of these women will tell you they truly, deeply loved their husbands all their married lives.

    It’ll be interesting to see if this trend begins to falter as women feel more confident at a younger age to just be who they are – I’m sure that society played its part in helping some of these women fool themselves. But my prediction would be that even when (or if) society as a whole unconditionally accepts alternative sexualities, there will still be some women (and men) who love a different gender later in life than they do earlier on. For the record, I don’t think this is any less genetic or otherwise than loving the same person your whole life. The problem with the nature/nurture argument is that it too often tries to completely discard one in favour of the other. I don’t think it’s a simple one-or-the-other situation.

    Anyway, that’s one direction, so why not the other? I personally have a friend who was a lesbian her whole adult life, only very occasionally sleeping with men and never dating them, until she met the man she married. She finds women attractive, but that doesn’t stop her from being completely committed to her husband. This is a bit of an old one but it really is true that it’s no different from a straight guy noticing other girls while dating a girl, or a straight girl noticing guys while dating a guy. People talk about a straight-girl-turned-gay ‘missing men’ or a lesbian-turned-straight ‘missing women’, but it’s so not about that. If you love the person you’re with, there’s nothing to miss. Ignore what the bible says about ‘adultery in the heart’ (that’s not what that verse meant anyway), thinking is not doing.

    The other thing to remember is that what turns a person on physically isn’t necessarily something that they want to have in bed with them. I know a LOT of lesbians who are really into gay male porn (in fact, I believe there’s an article about it on this very site), but they neither want to sleep with men nor want to be men. It’s just that some things turn some people on. Generally, sexuality is so much more about your emotional life than your sexual one. I’ve orgasmed with a man ’cause he did the right stuff at the right time; that doesn’t make me straight.

    As to this woman being closer emotionally to her female friends, well, I’m probably not the person to ask about that one. My partner is my best friend. She’s the person I talk to when I need to talk to someone, she’s the person I watch TV with, go clubbing with, make love with, do the dishes with – share my life with. I do have other friends of course but in reality I don’t need anyone but her. But that’s not the way everyone works. A lot of people – in particular a lot of straight friends I have – have people other than their partner who they’re equally close to in different ways. They have people they can tell things they would never tell their partner. I don’t personally ‘get’ this, but these couples are perfectly happy and stable so I can’t see a problem with it as long as (and this is the important part) neither of THEM have a problem with it.

    So basically, are you bothered by your partner’s relationships with her female friends because you’re worried that she’s still attracted to women, or because you would like to be that emotionally close with her yourself? Either way, the answer is simple: communication. You need to talk to get on the same page. Share your fears with her and encourage her to share hers with you – I guarantee she has her own insecurities about the relationship too; everyone does. If she has her doubts, they’ll surface. But this isn’t about sexuality – it’s not about being into women, or men, or both. It’s about you and her. The only people (and the only sets of genitalia) who are important in your relationship are the ones who’re IN it.

    Hope this helps,


  249. hombre Says:

    i could not agree with you more. as i stated before i am quite open and have seen in this blog the diversity of sexuality in a simple and yet enlighten form to me.
    just for the record i lost my religious virginity when i was about 11-12. so besides having had problems with the shoved down your throat catholic quilt in the past. i expect no spiritual direction on such matters except from the parties involved. i am an atheist. admitted i was a closet one for a long time. my claim to the closet lol.
    so the evolution of persons, the biological needs, and changes are facts for me and well understood. i studied sociology, but have a real interest in the biological aspect of our species.
    so why ask if i got my stuff sort of together?
    when i spoke of her closeness to her girlfriend is more of an, i feel… difficult to put to words. a bit to close to be convinced of her claim..which is i am into men better said you, *meaning me… i know this does not clarify anything as it defies the limits of our reason. yet a different perspective is always of use. so i am grateful for your very open and clear opinion.
    we do have deep conversations on the subject. as i am hard to convince so many cases of this transformation truly are out there. evidence is on my side of this issue some yes many not. is when you hear but he, her has kids they cannot be gay. we both know what nonsense this is. people are so silly and simple minded, at times it is a disgrace.
    i think i must master my lack of trust and just let it fly. but i do not want to be hurt.
    heck what the hell no chance taken no life lived.
    and truly i have read your conclusion in the manner it is as mine.
    i agree with your comments and they have helped.
    i must still communicate more and deeper with her. even if i may by chance hurt her. as she expects my trust.
    one little detail which may also bring you a bit of light. if talk to her about not wanting to have children gets her quite sad.
    reason is clear she wants to have one. i have my wonderful daughter already, yes lesbian. and she is my world. maybe it is a partial reason. among a barrage of others. i do not doubt her sincerity i doubt if she can commit to it.
    thank you. your opinion is valued.

  250. Raven Says:

    If im not gay but im dating a girl what would I say to my dad who doesnt like the girl and or the fact I would be dating her. I’m 17 and she is 19. Just dont really know how to put that or bring it up

  251. mandymoo Says:

    Ah straight girls… I’m going thru a little straight girl dilema in my office as we speak.. the secret looks the sly touches to my arm and back when we’re close.. questioning me about what it is I like in girls ..how I’d make someone a wonderful girlfriend. She’d emailed me photos of her apartment to show me her new kitchen she’d installed but funnily enuf while there was one kinda wonky photo of said kitchen .. there was also a shitload of photos of her looking drop dead gorgouse in this killer dress ..(dont ask me who took these glamour shots!) ..
    Attraction aside.. we’re actually good friends and just seem to have ridiculous amounts of shared interests .. we’re both in the IT sector so surrounded by tons of guys in work and trust me there aint many girls in senior IT so I guess we’re close in that kinda us against the boys sisterhood way
    She’s got a boyfriend of course and I’m under no illusions that she’s gonna drop him by the wayside. But god she actually drives me to distraction in work sometimes and out of work even more.. our last office drinks thing we were sitting on same side of a table with tons of work colleagues and her foot kept rubbing against my calf.. I glanced at her at one point and she pulled it away immediately and blushed and joked about magnets on my leg or something to that effect :)
    Ah straight girls…

  252. Janice Says:

    How stupid is this blog, why the hell would a lesbian want to rather have a relationship with a straight woman. If she is straight she is straight she wants dick not pussy.Or maybe she is just a freak. Some lesbians just have low self esteem and just plain shallow to prefer a straight women over real lesbians. Why have a relationship or even a fling with someone who can’t reciprocate your feelings. Lesbian are more attracted to straight women because supposedly they are more prettier. These straight chicks are dolled up so they can attrach men don’t you get it. It is not rocket science people

  253. kindnessfirst Says:

    Okey Dokey, Janice….just wanted to clear up a couple of things…First of all, a lesbian would not be attracted to a straight girl due to low self esteem. My self esteem truly sucks at times, yet I am not attracted to straight girls….lol. Seriously Janice, no lesbian intentionally gets attracted to straights. It is not like we wake up one day and say “hey…I think it is high time I screwed up my head….what to do, what to do…Oh, I know, I think I will be attracted to a woman who wants nothing to do with me.” The truth is, you cannot decide to be attracted to anyone. You cannot choose who you fall in love with…it just happens. And I personally do not think straight women are any better looking than lesbians. All women are beautiful….even you, pumpkin :)

  254. Janice Says:

    Thanks for the Okey Dookie comment, whatever that is. But is is so frusturating for me to read time after time all these different kinds of blog and websites where lesbian rant and whine about how they are in love with a straight women they are friends with or just barely know. Then get their hearts broken most of the time by these straight women with the exception of a few. There are alot of lesbians out there and lesbians should waste their time on straight women. As for as the self esteem part I know some lesbians that set themselves up for heart broken and failure going after said straight women because they can’t handle a real relationship. They go for someone that wont get attach to them. Straight girls use lesbians for sex, fun and maid service then go back to their douchebags ex-boyfriend when they see thing are getting serious and the fun is over. Just for kick. I am not the one to be messed with. I have no time for straighties.

  255. kindnessfirst Says:

    I agree with you completely…we are fortunate to know our own minds and hearts. Some others, however, are so lonely that they find themselves in situations that harm them emotionally. I feel bad for those women. I have never tried to be a “recruiter”, never will. I feel compassion for those who fool themselves into thinking it will be different “this time”. I have found myself attracted to straights before, and let me tell you, I ran like hell. You cannot choose who you are attracted to, but you can choose not to engage with those who are not available, be it emotionally or by orientation.

  256. Anonymous Says:

    Dear lesbians STOP making excuse. BONE STRAIGHT GIRLS ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH. Janice is right some straighties use lesbians for sex because they let them.

  257. katiekopajtic Says:

    I have a question.

    What if the straight girl still is very confused? What if the straight girl was single for 22 years, had had a little sex with a lot of dudes in the past four (college), had never been in a relationship, had always had teeny back-there thoughts about girls in the first place, but grew up in an area were people weren’t gay? so neither was she?

    what if not a whole lot of people are surprised when she tells them?

    what if the straight girl is really in love and would rather be dead before breaking her lover’s heart?

    BUT. What if the straight girl has never had a boyfriend, and therefore will always wonder that the sex she’s had with men was only bad because…they just weren’t the ones? Or very good? maybe she is straight…? Is she now more unsure about her heterosexuality than her homosexuality?…

    obviously I’m talking about myself. I have been flipped… or have i just been coaxed out of my little lezzy cave that held my true self? I think this every day: now that I’m serious with this girl, I’m expected to break her heart just because it’s what always happens. I’m Dangerous. But I don’t want to be. And these sorts of articles and conversations make me scared of myself. I hate labels and expectations. Isn’t it enough that I love the person I’m with, and it doesn’t matter what part she’s rockin’. biology can fuck itself.

  258. katiek Says:

    also @benita, I feel for you. It’s weird. I’d say follow your heart but think about the girl too, because while it’s easy at first to follow your heart…go with your impulses…have a great experience…

    getting hurt sucks.

  259. Anonymous Says:

    I always fall for the straighties and then hope and pray that they might be gay but just dont know it yet! So far I was only one time I got the girl and she turned out to be Straight as heck and left me for her ex boyfriend after 6 months with me and told me I was just a phase. I felt like a chump. From now on I am going to rope in my wishful thinking because it gets me in trouble.

  260. Tiffany Says:

    “Its bad enough when men try to push we straight women into gayism so we don’t need the lesbians doing it as well. I’ve seen women get mad because another woman will not date them. They say “don’t knock it til you try it” absolutly gross.”
    So true, so true. Some lesbos need to get it straight (pun intended) not all women have gayness in them so they shouldn’t get MAD when a straight woman turns them down. What’s the point of asking a straight girl out, to get turn down, just like if a straight dude asks a lesbo out. Just my two cent.

  261. kindnessfirst Says:

    Tiffany: Your two cents is worth a million bucks! Anonymous: Your lesson is priceless…

  262. Nightfall Says:

    If straight girls are already confusing you, how about this:

    5 years ago, I was the straightest person like ..EVER. Although my best friend was a lesbian, I never thought about girls. Or more exactly, I couldn’t even imagine to come close to one. Wuah…
    And then.. I met this girl. Which had a boyfriend at that time and was perfectly straight. Or at least BOTH of us thought so.
    After a few days ..spending time together.. I felt I was falling for her. And I guess she was, too. We touched and caressed but never kissed us. We NEVER talked about it (till today). Well she broke up with her boyfriend but wouldn’t tell me why.
    After a few month we rarely talked to each other anymore because suddenly she got very cold when speaking to me. I guess she was as confused and scared as I was. Well.. since a few month now we see each other again. And even after all this years i wish we were together. So what the fuck shall I do? I don’t want to break that friendship, but I can’t pretend we’re just friends anymore.

    Straight girl loves straight girl ..well … THAT’s complicated!

  263. beebee Says:

    I have a huge issue. I really like this girl who I can’t tell is gay or not. I’ve tried weighing up things about her that I know but since I dont know her well it’s pretty difficult. I know she is into riding dirt bikes, shooting and tom-boyish stuff like that and I know she doesnt have a boyfriend. How do I find out if she is gay or not? We talk every now and then but I’m pretty shy (and she seems to be too) and I have a bad habbit of distancing myself from people I’m attracted to… How do i find out without putting myself out there too much? Please help. Are there any obvious signs that I should know?

  264. Janice Says:

    @ beebee and nightfall You are nothing but confused and desperate straight girls. Just do everyone a favor and leave the real lesbians alone with your retardedness.

  265. Janice Says:

    @ beebee and nightfall You are nothing but confused and desperate straight girls preying on other women who might just as lonely and desperate. Just do everyone a favor and leave the real lesbians alone with your retardedness.

  266. marrog Says:


    I’m sure I don’t have to tell you not to pay any attention to Janice, but just in case: don’t pay any attention to Janice. She’s clearly closed-minded and/or has a chip on her shoulder. Ignore the haters (yo).

    Here’s what I’m going to focus on:

    “How do I find out without putting myself out there too much?”

    The short answer is ‘You can’t’ – at least, not for sure. She might spontaneously out herself to you by sheer chance, but you are not going to actively ‘find out’ without giving anything of yourself. Indeed, you might give of yourself and _still_ not find out – that’s just the way it is. You don’t always get what you give.

    The longer answer is where I ask, gently, whether you should really be trying to diagnose how this girl swings if you aren’t able to talk about yourself comfortably. I’m assuming from the way you’ve talked about this here that you’re not particularly open about your own sexuality? That’s okay, by the way – everyone has to move at their own pace. But if you’re into a person and yet aren’t comfortable enough around them to out yourself to them – whether you’re gay, bi, ‘open’ or just plain confused – then you have some stuff to sort out before I would spend too much time trying to diagnose someone else’s persuasion. I mean, say you did find out she was gay – then what?

    There are some other factors of course and without knowing them it’s basically impossible to give an opinion.

    Put it this way:
    1. If you yourself are pretty ‘obviously’ gay – talk about ‘gay stuff’, wear a rainbow pin, have one of those ridiculous haircuts gay girls seem to go for these days (*grin*), and _she_ is a sporty, outdoorsy girl and _hasn’t_ outed herself yet? I’d say she’s not gay. But then again, if you’re all those things and also _totally clueless_ maybe she’s _tried_ to out herself and you just haven’t caught on. How would I know?!
    2. Let’s say you’re mostly straight – or a ‘stealth gay’ who doesn’t wear her sexuality on her sleeve, you look traditionally ‘girly’ or you’re alternative in a way that tends to be similar for straight and gay girls (a bit emo or gothy for example), you aren’t out and you don’t talk about your sexuality. You’ve said that she’s shy, and so are you, so put yourself in her place. Would you, as a shy gay sporty girl who’s friends with… a girl, who to you seems to probably be straight, necessarily come out? Particularly if you like said girl, _or_ are worried that she’ll think you do?

    Now I’m not saying that either of these scenarios are true reflections of the case. What I’m saying is that no amount of speculation or ‘gay tests’ or gaydar can replace straightfoward communication. What I’ll also say is that if you’re going to be up-front and ask, it’s a good plan to out yourself first. I recommend something like:

    “So I feel like a total dork ’cause I’ve been wondering this and I don’t want you to think I’m a weirdo, or that I’m stereotyping you, but I wondered whether you were into other girls? ‘Cause I am, and y’know, it’s always good to have more stuff in common to talk about.”

    This is assuming, of course, that you’re actually at least on some level friends and you aren’t just admiring this girl from afar. Because if you are, _get to know her already_ and stop bothering us here before you’ve done _any_ of the legwork!

    Good luck!

  267. Janice Says:

    @ Marrog Dear MISS SMARTY PANTS, I am not a hater just annoyed with straight girls playing lesbian or bisexaul because they are desperate and lonely. “Because if you are, _get to know her already_ and stop bothering us here before you’ve done _any_ of the legwork!” Exactly. If it is such a bother why are you answering her back, she probably at home laughing at home with her slutty friends.
    You are wasting your time and energy giving advice to these confused girl. Just because you love straights doesn’t mean we all do sweetie. Or that they love you back pumpkin.

  268. marrog Says:


    Your mom.

  269. marrog Says:

    *Grin* Sorry, couldn’t resist that.

    But I also can’t resist taking people seriously, so you get a non-flippant answer too, lucky you!

    Why did I accuse you of being closed-minded?

    Well, if you’ll read over beebee’s comment again you’ll see that _nowhere_ did she say that she was straight, and indeed not only did she not say she was interested in a straight girl but she actually wants to know _whether_ this girl is straight or likes girls _before_ she makes a move. How exactly is that the story of a lonely and desperate straight girl?

    I’m not saying she’s _not_ straight. but nowhere does it say she is. Also, if a girl tells me that she fancies another girl, I gotta tell you my first reaction is _not_ to assume that she must be straight, hmm…

    I were acquainted with a cute tomboy, I’d wonder too – although I’d just ask, or try it on anyway and find out that way – but that’s by the by.

  270. Nightfall Says:

    Janice, thanks for your statement anyway, but me being straight ended 5 years ago BECAUSE of that girl. Lucky me – I’m neither lonely nor desperate. I just still have a crush on that girl. The only question is what is more worthy… keeping the friendship by not telling her or set it at risk, tell her and maybe have a chance.
    There is nothing funny about it and also nothing to call me stupid. So I would appreciate if you don’t answer like that without knowing ANYTHING about a person. Thanks

  271. StraightGuy Says:

    RE: mandymoo

    *Ah my crushes*
    those moments of accidental touch always make me feel so much more excited than it would any other person. yup, the bumps in the hallway. The touching every time she wants to say something to me. the hugs and kisses to the cheek. those returned glances and smiles. gosh, feels like she practically wants me to sweep her of her feet and kiss her passionately like those romantic movies.
    Ah my crushes.

    if you plan on taking action, I’d do it out of desire rather simple belief that you’re getting signs. When we want someone, you become so sensitive to the most insignificant things.
    Last time I had something similar. when the girl was finally relieved of her relationship, before I even asker her out, she was expressing her interest in men that are complete opposites of me. I’m still very attracted to her. But I’ve moved on.


    Back to the point of this blog.

    we all have to realize this whole thing is kind of silly. Every relationship is at risk of heart break. So perhaps said straight/gay girl just needs to find the right person. But are you really at anymore risk then dating a player lesbian who never intends to settle down. my advice is, try your best to understand the heart of the person you’re pursuing and go with your guts, but realize you can get hurt no matter who it is.

    Truth is, this whole topic is really about your ego. somehow it hurts more when someone leaves you and moves on to another gender. however the reality for you is no different then moving on to the same gender. Take the ego out of the equation and it’s moot.

  272. StraightGuy Says:

    Gosh, I feel so lucky to live in massachusetts. I don’t I ever hear any body use the term gayism… hahaha

  273. StraightGuy Says:

    @ Nightfall

    if your friendship is put at risk simply by finding out her orientation, it probably isn’t a friendship worth having. It sounds like an acquaintance.
    I feel like a tight ass. maybe i have too strict ideals about friendship.

  274. Nightfall Says:

    You might be right. She WAS a very good friend back then. It was hard work though, to get her back in my life. I guess at the end I have to tell her either way huh?

  275. Janice Says:

    @ marrog
    Oh that sweet. Now put a sock in it you fat pig.

  276. Janice Says:

    @ Nightfall You can make a move or not the choice is your. I don’t give a fuck. Just remember you can’t make someone love you if they dont.

  277. Peepi love "Benita" Says:

    well my story is quite interesting/relevant so here goes…im a lesbian girl who is completely butch and well I’ve loved this girl who is straight. Lets just call her Benita. And i’ve loved Benita since ages! funny thing is she liked me too! and infact she approached me first! I used to have a very small crush on this other girl before her but that girl never really liked me that way, but since i resemble a guy, some girls have liked me. But Benita, was different from all others. She was very upright about it and the fact that she had a thing for me and she even told me and made it very obvious. I always knew she liked me but I could never show her my feelings for her as I was afraid of revealing my lezbianess etc. I think I loved her way more than she loved me. Like WAY more. And I still do. :/ I was quite helpless and frustrated that I could’nt portray my feelings towards her. The reason I am giving her the name Benita, is because someone who named themselves Benita and wrote their story on this blog, sounds EXACTLYISH like her. I just hope that if it is her, she sees this and hopefully somehow figures its me and knows that I do still love her a lot and have dreams every night of her even after everything. I know she does’nt like me anymore. She likes a guy now. I know this from all her tumblr, twitter posts:P But if that Benita is her, then she’ll understand and text me or something atleast. If it’s not, then bad luck. And if its her and she does’nt read this, then also bad luck fo me. lol. Im just sick of keeping it inside me for so long coz its beginning to haunt me.

  278. Peepi love "Benita" Says:

    Well I guess it’s too late now cuz she liked me like a year ago from 2008-2010. 2011 changed everything. I moved schools and she moved ON. :( and ever since this guy came into her life, all she thinks about is HIM! I think she’s completely forgetten her love for me. It’s like she just deleted me out of her life. :( I keep trying to get over her but i know that once I like someone I’ll like them till I get someone else as good or better and that’s gonna be very hard. I’ve liked her for 3 years now and I’m just trying to make myself not wait for her anymore and just get over her. I just hope I find someone better than her but my hopes are fading and I’m just getting more and more depressed and lonely. I’m sick of pretending it’s all ok to the world and that I’m straight and that I like guys. Cuz I don’t. I’ve always liked girls and girls hv liked me too. Before “Benita”, I had this other girl who I had a crush on and she actually never liked me like that but she still flirted sometimes since I look and act like a guy, we were only 12 and I liked her a lot but I knew she didn’t like me that way andshe liked a guy but for me the flirting was enough. Then “Benita” came in may 2008 when I was 14 and then everything changed and she treated me like her boyfriend and even told me she had a crush on me and said a lot of things like a Lot and she would hold my hand and do stuff like play with my neck and hair and other subtly sexual things. She always called me cute. Other girls have liked me too and I like their attension but Ive never loved anyone like “Benita” I know I’m rambling but I just miss her so much! Ever since I changed school in 2010 slowly slowly she forgot me. Then 2011 has been shit. I was so used to having her in my life she’s become a drug! And I crave her. I could never imagine her not being in my life and now it’s a reality of everyfucking day. don’t want to be depressed anymore I just either want her back or want someone who loves me cuz I can’t take this lonelyness anymore. I don’t know if she lead me on or not it’s just very complicated. I need help.

  279. Straight Dude Says:

    @Peepi Get a life and quit stalking this girl “Benita’. You delusional, dumb ass, self absorbed Dyke! It’s all in your mind.

  280. marrog Says:

    Hey, Straight Dude, back the hell off! She’s strung-out and confused; it happens to the best of us – I suppose YOU never said any stupid shit when you were seventeen and head-over-heels for some girl you couldn’t have? How hurtful would it’ve been to you if some guy had come up to you and called you a stupid loser and to get a life while you were already about as low as you could be? Who the hell do you think you are?

    Maybe I’m out of touch: is abusing depressed gay kids on the internet how ‘straight dudes’ get their kicks these days? And you have the gall to tell someone else to get a life? Looks like a bit of a glass-house situation to me, you sorry excuse for a human being; get back under your rock you self-important asshole.

    (@Peepi: The reason no one (who isn’t an idiot) has responded to you is that sadly there’s no good news in your situation. Miracles happen, but no good comes from holding out for them. Sounds to me like you need to just give up and try to move on. I know that’s hard to hear and not very helpful (which is why no one has said it) but there you go. Sorry. For the record, I promise it gets better.)

  281. Mz.Calypso Says:

    Don’t embarrass lesbians by being a stereotype. YOU CANNOT TURN SOMEONE GAY. We ALL get hung up on the unattainable at one time or another. Trying to sexually impose on another person to gratify your own appetite is called sexual harassment. It’s a bad idea.

    “I really like her.”

    No, you don’t. You are sexually infatuated with her. If you liked her, you would respect her. Asking for advice on how to “turn her gay” would be like a guy asking for advice on how to turn YOU straight.

    Get some help dear, like a counsellor at school or someone you can trust who is older then you. Keep everything confidental

    RESPECT YOUR FRIEND. You can either BE a friend, and stop pestering her, or leave her alone. And tell her to leave you alone and quit flirting with you, messning with your head.

    Leave her be.

  282. Blue Says:

    Wow, long list of stuff…ok don’t know if this is covered in all these posts or not but here goes.

    I just turned 40 and have just experienced what I believe to be “escape from knee-jerk desire to act right”. By this I mean I am a very slow learner but still should have figured out before now that doing what I think I am supposed to rarely works for me.

    I always identified as straight. I still feel the same, but things may have changed: what I desire is masculinity, but not necessarily men. I like strong people with a bit of toughness (nothing too ridiculous, mind you) and I love love LOVE gentlemen (given they know there is a time to not be one at all). What has changed is that I don’t care what body it comes in.

    I did have recent experiences with a wonderful butch who told me she was not seeking a partner, which is fine, but was great with what we had going on and being a good friend and having some fun. Bailed on all counts, but left me realizing I felt more comfortable with her than with any man. Therefore my searches have changed. I still don’t identify as bi simply because I am not attracted to femme at all; at this stage I am not claiming anything, just know when I think someone is hot. :-)

    So all this adds up to:

    1) No one will be “turned” any way but if someone has it in them anywhere and is open to it, you may get to help her find it.
    2) Not all of us “straight girls” are “barsexual”…i.e. whatever transpires after too much alcohol or what needs to transpire in order to impress the man sitting over there. I swear, some of us are in a state in which we are just checking out new options to see what works.
    3) What do we do when we come off straight, have always felt straight, but are crazy attracted to masculine women and aren’t allowed in to play because we’re, well, STRAIGHT? Where do we go when we are starting over?


  283. Mz.Calypso Says:

    In my experience some Butch Lesbians sexually objectify women as badly as most straight men do. I don’t mess with them.

  284. Straight Dude Says:

    Do lesbians like women with wide noses???

  285. Amy Winehouse Says:

    I’m confused. My lesbian friends will become head over heels when it comes to a straight girl but when it comes to a girl who is bisexual…they are quick to dismiss her and say “oh it’s not going to work out…I don’t want a bisexual chick” wtf? but you want a straight girl?????? I’m freakin confused! Lesbians please answer this question lmao. Really what the fuck?

  286. trish Says:

    Please help me. I think im going to go crazy over a straight woman. Its been so long and I can’t stop thinking about her

  287. Blue Says:


    Is this someone you just admire from afar or is there an actual friendship? Also, is she in a relationship now?

    I ask this because some of us “straight” girls are actually open because the energy of a person matters more than the outside package. If she is in a relationship, just do what you gotta do to get over it until that is long gone. It stands everywhere that no woman is magical and will change someone who is not seeking to change, and you will not “win” her over.
    If you have a friendship with her, you may be surprised if you just tell her “I may be going out on a limb here, but would you like to go out some time?” or something simple like that. I’ve had friends approach me that way years back, and honestly it made my day. If you do not have a friendship with her already try making some small talk and see if she seems pretty open-minded.

    And yeah, there is always the possibility of making things weird and awkward by saying anything, but there just is no escaping that regardless of your orientation.


  288. Laura Says:

    @Amy Winehouse (lol): Bi women are a huge STD risk: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb4365/is_14_41/ai_n29455577/ GROSS.

    I’m not into straight women either, personally. And bisexual is pretty much the same as straight, since they both end up with men.

  289. Amy Whinehouse Says:

    @ Laura That article looks like a piece of craphttp://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb4365/is_14_41/ai_n29455577/ .it don’t answer my question. Everybody is a risk for STD straight, bisexauls, gays whta do you mean? As much as you like to dream and beleive that lesbians are bulletproof. Lesbias are not 100% immune to STD or STI as they now call it. Sorry to break it to you.

  290. Amy Whinehouse Says:

    @ Trish Another one bites the dust.

  291. Totallyflln Says:

    So. Let’s start here…I’m an female. Was married at 19 to my ex. I just recently got divorced, and moved back to my home town. I was blessed enough to be reconnected with an old friend. (female) long story short, I’m so attracted to her, I’m prolly the most confused I have ever been. Her background: has been married as well,but is currently single, hangs with a lot of other lesbian couples, and has made comments about being bi….she drives me crazy! I know she flirts with me, but how can I know what she really wants without possibly loosing her and our friendship? I would be content just hanging every night,(as we currently do), but I would be happy to be with her. To top all this, I’ve only ever made out with 2 girls while drinking.
    (loved it tho!)

  292. Sam Says:

    # 3 happened to me, only I was the straight girl. Then she decided I was just another hook up and went back to her ex. :/ Maybe she was an exception and I’m not really into girls in general?

  293. Melody Says:

    Straight girls are just looking for sex without getting pregnant, whatever. Basic Biology 202.

  294. jfgd Says:


  295. Ramona Says:

    Lesbians like straight girls because straight are normal. Straight girls are easy and lesbia just want to corrupt them.

  296. marrog Says:

    I love the idea of ‘lesbia’ being the plural of lesbians. I think I’m going to appropriate that.

  297. Alexis Says:

    As the title clearly states I slept with my straight female friend. We met at university last year and although not ‘best friends’ we are reasonably close. I myself have never withheld the fact that I am physically attracted to girls and as far as I am aware my friend knows this.

    Anyway, two weeks ago I attended a house party to which around 20 people went, one of which being my friend who wasn’t drink as she was driving to visit a relative the following day . I hadn’t been out in a while and to be completely honest had too much to drink – but was still aware of what was happening to a certain degree. A few hours into the night I was having a conversation with my friend about why she wasn’t drink and just general topics. It was pretty noisy and she told me she couldn’t hear me and dragged me into one of the side rooms ‘because it would be easier to talk’. To cut the story short we continued to talk and the topic of this guy who had been flirting with her all evening came up and lead to us jokingly flirting taking the mick really. She made a move on me and resulted in us sleeping together. I know I should have stopped it but I was under the influence and honestly, she is attractive. At the time it was fine but quickly afterwards she said she should be leaving as she had be up early and left. I returned to the party and continued to have a good night not really thinking much about what happened.

    The next day, however, waking up and realising what had happened my feelings changed. I called my friend to confirm what I believed had happened, but the second I mentioned the party she made an excuse to end the call. We didn’t talk until a few days later when she returned back town and I bumped into her and her friend in a clothing shop. I could instantly tell that she didn’t want me to talk or be there by the way she was looking anywhere but at me when I and her friend had a conversation. After awkward small talk I said I had to leave. I text her an hour later saying something along the lines that we need to talk to which she never replied. I received an email a few days ago from her apologising for not replying and asking if we could meet over coffee – something we have done in the past. I agreed hoping it would be a chance to talk, however she brought the same friend along with her. So that was out of the question.

    So, I need advice on how I can get her to talk about that night. I know some of you will say just leave it she obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. But the point is I do. I need to talk to her about it. I don’t want things to be awkward. I need to know why she did it. I acknowledge the fact she is may be embarrassed or whatever but I mean she was sober, I clearly wasn’ t and she knows I am attracted to girls. I just want to know what she is feeling and to solve this awkwardness. Was she just using me. suggestions please.

  298. Nightfall Says:

    I bet she is VERY confused herself and surprised of what she did. I’d write her a letter in which you tell her anything you want her to know and then see what happens. Could be possible, that she doesn’t want to talk because she thinks she was just “another one” for you when you were obviously her first and she doesn’t know what to do either. At least, SHE wanted to have coffee with you! Guess her friend was just for selfcourage.

  299. marrog Says:

    No question that you guys need to talk about this if you’re going to remain friends; leaving stuff like this unsaid is bad news. I’d agree with the person above. Write her an email or whatever.

    – Make sure that you don’t make _any_ assumptions about how she feels (but for the obvious one regarding her reluctance to talk about it).

    – Use plenty of ‘I think’ and ‘I feel’ statements, express your worries, and be completely open about how _you_ felt about it. I’m assuming from what you’ve said that your feeling is: “It was nice and everything and she’s well-fit and I like her, but I’m not going to ask her out, I just want to stay good friends”, yes? Because if you’re now into her, that’s a whole other problem…

    – If you really need to know why she did what she did, ask her, but try to be tactful and non-confrontational about it. You don’t want it to come across as either “You totally took advantage of me!” OR “So this totally means you must be into me”. Again, saying what _you_ were thinking at the time is helpful here.

    Friendships can totally be messed around by sleeping with one another, especially if one of the people feels differently than the other, and I’m not going to lie to you; sometimes the friendship doesn’t recover, or, if it does, it’s never quite the same. But hey, that’s life. Focus on moving forward, not harking backward, and good luck!

  300. Alexis Says:

    SHE IS BEING SUCH A DOUCHE BAG TO ME. I am so pissed, I ask her if we can meet up later today and have coffee and she bolts on me saids she has to go home. Such bullshit because just now when I was leaving campus she was at the student lounge with some ramdom dude. That’s life and life sucks so bad.

  301. Sam Says:

    But, like…what do you want with her? For things to be like before or something more?

  302. Tiffany Says:

    I have madly fallen in love w/ a (straight?) girl…. who was giving me all hopes you could imagine. I was in agony for more than 1 year… till I came to the point where I was losing it all and knew it was hopeless and that I have to get her out of my life. Some girls really only can be misunderstood. I had to learn not to read her lines the way any normal person would. Persuading myself not to get any hope no matter what the “signs”. She never really was inerested in me/my life. So I started cutting her off… was hard and at first I kinda got week a couple of times.. but evetually it worked. I got her out of my life, no communication from my side.

  303. Tiffany Says:

    I am lying to myself.
    okkk i really cant deal with it anymore. just even thinking about her makes my heart race. i was out with her tonight and i just cant deal with it. im not gonna tell her cuz it will ruin our friendship. but i dont even think i can be around her. should i avoid her….and make up an argument so we dont talk…it might be the hardest thing i have ever done. i never thought that one girl could control me heart. she doesnt even know how i feel. and it makes me angry because im crying about her and she doesnt even know!! and now im mad at myself because i said i would never let anyone in to my heart. and she has done it without even knowing. like is it even possible for that to happen. were never gonna be together so should i just stop being her friend,,,?? i dont know if i can deal with her talking about boys again…

  304. Anonymous Says:

    Im fed up of being used as peoples experiments!!!
    I’ve had three girlfriends, two of them all over a year long. but each time they started off as ‘straight’ but said they had feelings for me, iv always been reluctant to go out with someone who was straight for so long but after a while they convinced me there feelings were real. but all have them have met some boy during our relationship who within a few weeks they have left me for. i honestly don’t know where i go wrong, i know i probably shouldn’t even consider a girl who was straight but i always give them the benefit of the doubt because they have to start somewhere. should i just give up on girls who arent already 100% out a gay or what? im fed up of being hurt. my last girlfriend literally left me out of the blue.

  305. anonymous Says:

    I have a friend who also keeps going for straight girls..and it always ends badly. These girls won’t be “turned” as so many people believe is a common occurance amongst women in general (I have yet to witness such an extraordinary event..)

    You can’t help who you are attracted to, but I would say you could help who you act upon…and the thing is at the end of the day, as this is something I have always said to gay friends who pull straight girls and then complain when nothing comes of it…Would you give up boobs? I could never give up boobs full time so why on earth would you expect a straight girl to give up the opposite. Straight girl can’t help who they are attracted to either. I could put this in a much more crude way but I shall refrain 😛

    Don’t let yourself get hurt.

  306. Ramona Says:

    Here is an idea for lesbians (Ha, I spelled it right, but anyway) don’t go after straight women and you wont be having all of these problems. Stop whining about straight women after you get hurt by them, because you did to yourself by going after them. GOD, this is not rocket science.It’s so easy a caveman can figure. I said it before and I will say it again, straight girls are easy and want to experiment and lesbians are more then happy to oblige. Don’t do it for your sake.

  307. Fernanda Says:

    I honestly run away from straight girls wanting to experience or just being curious and whatnot; but it is uncomfortable to deal with all the insanity (not generalizing) some straight grils will create just to catch a lesbian´s attention, I am very attractive and get a lot of people´s attention, but lately I´ve been hit by straight women and gosh it just makes me feel akward being around them, and I pretty much only hang out at local gay bars etc, but women in my neighborhood, workplace and friends of friends are like all over me as soon as they find out I am gay.. and I hate to say it but I feel harrassed by hetero girls.. I very politely tell them all I´d never cross that fragile line between our sexual preferences, simply because nothing good can come along both ways so leave it along and beat it!!! friends only zone or mark my line and be indifferent to anyone trying to mess with my head… As I prefer not to run any risks and confuse anything…

  308. Ramona Says:

    @ Fernanda I second that.

  309. Alexis Says:

    I give up this is so hopeless. I am crying everyday.

  310. Ramona Says:

    Good idea Alexis. Do not waste your time.

  311. Jade Says:

    I’ve honestly never felt so isolated from a discussion before. I’m openly gay and have never found a straight girl that I’ve ‘fell for’. Is it just me that thinks lesbians are probably the best thing ever? There’s something about that rough attitude and style that gay women have, that straights do not seem to be able to replicate. I can’t ever imagine trying to ‘turn’ a straight girl anyway, it’s kind of disrespectful. Most of my friends are straight, and we NEVER have problems in regards to people leading other people on when they are not interested.

    I’m not even sure I agree with the original post; I’m a lesbian, and I don’t see straights in a sexual way at all. What is wrong with me!??

  312. Anonymous Says:

    @ Jade the world need more girls that thinks like you. But the rough attitude thing and lesbian sex is sooo overated.

  313. marrog Says:

    ‘Rough attitude’? Really? Wow… I mean, not that some lezzers aren’t rough. But I know plenty of rough straight girls and delicate lezzers, way to stereotype!

    Jade: There’s nothing wrong with your for not being into straight girls, but I think you should re-examine your stereotypical attitude toward other lezzers.

    Anyway, at the end of the day, for me, it’s not about whether or not a girl is gay, it’s about whether or not I (a) fancy her and (b) can pull her. And honesty, there are a billion lezzers who wouldn’t look twice at me and (in my experience) plenty of straight girls who would, so honestly, who am I to tell them what they do or do not want?

    And right now, of course, there’s one girl in category (a) for me, and the others can all go to hell. And that cat. (a) girl was married to a dude (not to mention 5.5k miles away across the Atlantic) when I first ran into her, so frankly I’m the last person to tell anyone what they can and can’t have.

    Fancy who you like! Shoot for the moon! But, yaknow. Be prepared to get hurt if it all goes pear-shaped. I’m told it usually does…

  314. Alexis Says:

    @ MARROG Here comes the angry women again. People have different lives and opinons from you egt over it. There is nothing wrong with not going out with straight girls if you don’t find them attractive. Not all women are into other women, like you are not into men. It is what it is.

  315. marrog Says:

    Angry? Not so much. Mocking? Often.

    I would like, however, to present a quote from my comment, and one from yours, side-by-side for your perusal. Just for comparison purposes, you understand.

    I said, in my last comment:
    “There’s nothing wrong with you for not being into straight girls.”

    You said, in argument with me:
    “There is nothing wrong with not going out with straight girls.”

    Now, a couple of the words are a little different so I totally understand if you struggle a bit with them, but I think if you read them over a few times, you _might_ see a _teeeny_ tiny similarity between them?

    Further to that – and it’s getting into close textual analysis territory now, so you may need to ask a grown-up for help, but let’s put our thinking caps on and take a look at what I say at riiiight at the beginning of the statement that comprises the rest of my comment.

    “Anyway, at the end of the day, for me…”

    Now, it’s subtle, I appreciate that, but if you read it over a few times, I’m sure a bright girl like you will spot the ‘for me’ in there. When a person says that, it generally means that they’re deliberately not trying to speak for other people. ‘For me’ means that the person is talking just about themselves. Don’t worry, you stick at it in school, and soon you’ll be able to discern the true tone and context from almost everything you read!

    Now, I’m going to sign off with some advice for you about me, something hat you might want to take with you in life because it’s a feature I have in common with many others. It’s got some big words in it, so you probably want dictionary.com on-hand:

    When I meet with pointless hostility framed in an egregious fashion I have a predilection for utilising biting, cloying sarcasm in response.

    Good luck!

  316. Alexis Says:

    @ Marrog Yeah anywhoo this is not a freakin high school English lesson it is a lousy forum about straight women. So keep the smart ass, condescending dictionary.com remarks to yourself. Better yet go talk to your English students like that not me.

  317. Jamrock Says:


    Homosexuals prey on children.

    * 33% of homosexuals ADMIT to minor/adult sex
    * There is a notable homosexual group, consisting of thousands of members, known as the North American Man and Boy Love Association ( NAMBLA). This is a child molesting homosexual group whose cry is “SEX BEFORE 8 BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.” This group can be seen marching in most major homosexual parades across the United States
    * Homosexuals commit more than 33% of all reported child molestations in the United States, which, assuming homosexuals make up 2% of the population, means that 1 in 20 homosexuals is a child molestor, while 1 in 490 heterosexuals is a child molestor
    * 73% of all homosexuals have had sex with boys under 19 years of age
    * Many homosexuals admit that they are pedophiles: “The love between men and boys is at the foundation of homosexuality”
    * Because homosexuals can’t reproduce naturally, they resort to recruiting children. Homosexuals can be heard chanting “TEN PERCENT IS NOT ENOUGH, RECRUIT, RECRUIT, RECRUIT” in their homosexual parades. A group called the “Lesbian Avengers” prides itself on trying to recruit young girls. They print “WE RECRUIT” on their literature. Some other homosexuals aren’t as overt about this, but rather try to infiltrate society and get into positions where they will have access to the malleable minds of young children (e.g., the clergy, teachers, Boy Scout leaders, etc.) . See the DC Lesbian Avengers web page, and DC Lesbian Avengers Press Release, where they threaten to recruit little boys and girls. Also, see AFA Action Alert.

  318. marrog Says:

    Wow, ya got me. I have in fact had sex with a boy under the age of 19.

  319. Ramona Says:

    You lesbos are funny. I could just die laughing reading these comments.

  320. Dumbbutch Says:

    If you want to know how I look, I describe myself in the first paragraph of “I Thought She Was Straight”.

    I have this friend named Julia. Not to be confused with my friend Jody, who does stuff with strippers because she doesn’t really have a choice (I talked about that in my story Heaven and Stripping Isn’t So Bad). Julia is more straight than that, or at least she was.

    At the beginning of our friendship, I was still unsure whether I was bi or lesbian, but Julia knew that I was into girls to some degree. We were talking once, and I asked her if she would ever do anything with another girl, and she said no. She said she wouldn’t even peck a girl on the lips, because she didn’t “experiment” like I did, as she put it. A year or so later, however, the subject came up again. By this time both of us had pretty much accepted the fact that I was a lesbian but I never showed it off in front of her. It was like knowing that your friend is black or something. You know it, but you just don’t think about it all that much.

    I asked her again if she would do anything with a girl, and this time she said that if she had been friends with the girl for a while, and if she was attracted to the girl, she would make out with her. This was a complete surprise. I guess my gayness (did you know that gayness is a word according to Microsoft Word? I didn’t either until now) must have spread to her or something. Another time, we were talking and she said something about how she didn’t want to have sex with a guy, and she put the emphasis on “guy”, before she got married. I let it drop and it didn’t come up again until several months later.

    I have to say right now that had I never had inappropriate thoughts about her. I asked her these things out of idle curiosity. I had noticed she was pretty, it’s hard not to notice those kinds of things. She’s a couple inches shorter than me, around 5’1 or 5’2. She has straight, long, black hair and very large dark brown eyes. Her best feature was her lips, they were so full and soft without being overly large. She had a petite body but with curves in the right places. I could wear her clothes if I had to but they were usually tight, especially in the chest area. She has small boobs, but that’s better than having mountains on your chest. There is nothing grosser than really large implants. I have a seriously hilarious story involving my guy friend and a stripper with implants, or actually the story is about the guy and the implants since they had a life of their own, but I’ll tell it some other time. Anyway, I had noticed a lot of guys (and girls, sometimes) staring at her and guys would often have crushes on her. She was pretty, but I’d never felt attracted to her before.

    I was sleeping over at her house one Friday night. We were watching the movie Mean Girls, again. We’ve watched that movie together a million times. Actually, maybe about 15. It’s just so funny though. The casting is absolutely perfect. So the part where Janis announces that she had a big, lesbian crush on Regina came on and Julia said, “You know, I have to tell you something. But you have to promise not to tell.” She always says this so I barely even acknowledged that she’d said anything and continued to pay attention to the movie. You would too, she makes me swear up and down not to tell a soul about something, and then she says something like, “I tripped on the stairs” or “I wrote this really long email to the guy I like”. In that sense, she’s a stereotypical girl. You know, melodramatic and extremely detail oriented.

    We finished the movie and got ready for bed. She has a queen size bed so we both sleep in it whenever I sleep over. We had settled in and started talking about unimportant things that I don’t remember, then she said, “I still haven’t told you.”

    I said, “Ok what is it?”

    She went on for, I swear, ten minutes making me promise not to tell anybody, then changing her mind about telling me in the first place, and so on. I was ready to punch her in the uterus, and I’m not even a violent person. Finally I said, “Jesus Christ, just tell me already. I’ll probably forget what you’re going to tell me by tomorrow anyway.”

    She said, “No you won’t. Or I hope you won’t. Or I mean, I hope you don’t because if you do then that means that I’m not important to you, but if you do then…” She’s like that.

    She got to the point a few minutes later and said, “I was thinking about what you were telling me earlier, about what it’s like to have sex with girls, or not have sex with exactly…(and then she went on a tangent)…and I was thinking I’d like to try it too once just to see what it was like.” She explained to me for a while about why she wanted to experience it, basically her reason was that she was curious.

    I said, “Ok. Have fun.”

    She seemed embarrassed and said, “I was kind of thinking, maybe I could try it with you? If you want to. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, and if you don’t then I’ll never talk about it again-”

    I turned over on my side facing her and cut her off. “Let me think about it.”

    I looked at her looking at me. Before then, I had never thought of her sexually. Ever. I had never even thought about how weird it would be to make out with her. It just never occurred to me that she was also a sexual being with desires. To my surprise, the more I looked at her, the more and more attracted to her I became.

    “I guess I’ll do it. How far do you want to go?”

    She said, “I don’t know. What do you even do with girls?”

    I leaned over so my face was close to hers, and I whispered into her mouth, “This,” before kissing her gently. I know, I know. If I could do it over again I would do it the same but without the cheesy “This” part. But what’s done is done, and she didn’t seem to mind since she shuddered a little as our lips made contact. I started off very slowly, giving her time to get used to kissing another girl. She was very submissive throughout the whole thing, which I kind of expected. It fit her personality.

    She didn’t really know what she was doing since she wasn’t even experienced at all with the boys. She held her lips and body stiff and only started to relax after a while. I climbed on top of her, pressing the length of my body against hers. As I did this, I licked along her bottom lip then took it into my mouth, sucking and biting lightly. I did the same to her upper lip, then slid my tongue into her open mouth.

    Her tongue didn’t move for a while, but after some gentle prodding with my own tongue it started to come to life. It tentatively touched mine, then she grew bolder and pushed her tongue so it went into my mouth. Our tongues played with each other for a while as I slipped my hand under her shirt and traced my fingers over her ribs. She gasped into my mouth and I pulled her shirt over her head, exposing her perky breasts. I pinched one nipple a little, then took it into my mouth, licking and sucking on it. Julia wasn’t making any noise except for heavier breathing. I think she was feeling very awkward and nervous since she said a few times how weird this was.

    I spent a long time on her nipples, getting her used to the idea of another girl’s mouth and tongue on her body. I slowly kissed my way down her stomach, giving her time to object if she wanted to. She didn’t say anything except to let out a high pitched moan of anticipation. I slid her shorts down, revealing her pussy. She had a full forest of black, curly pubes on her pussy which turned me off slightly since I don’t like licking something that’s really hairy (trimmed is fine), but I still wanted to do it. I could see moisture glistening around her entrance and I smiled to myself, thinking “Another convert to bisexuality,” before taking some of her juices with my tongue and spreading it around her clit. She remained absolutely still, I couldn’t even hear her breathing anymore. I think she was holding her breath.

    I licked around the base of her clit, between her lips and her clit. She let a moan escape and pushed her hips up against my mouth. I sucked her clit into my mouth and as she wrapped her legs around my head, I put my hands on her butt cheeks and started squeezing them. Her hips kept moving but I kept my mouth sucking firmly on her clit, then added my tongue. This made her buck her hips and her hands flew to my head. She was losing her self control and anxiety, which was being replaced by lust and the need to come.

    I slipped a finger inside her but she said that hurt, so I took it out and I went on with sucking and licking her clit. She liked to have her clit stimulated up and down, instead of in circles, so I flicked my tongue over her clit until her thighs clenched around my head and she came with a strangled sigh. She lay back panting as I slid my body up hers and kissed her, wondering how she’d react to the taste of a girl in her mouth. She was hesitant at first but soon seemed to develop a taste for it. She showed no interest in returning the favor though, so I laid down next to her asked her what she thought. (I’m going to give the abridged, edited version of what she said since if I typed everything out it would be too long).

    “It felt really good,” she said after thinking about it for a while and trying to find the right words to describe what she was feeling.

    I asked her if she would do it again or go farther, and she said, “Maybe. I don’t know. I kind of want to do the same thing to you, but I’m kind of scared of going down on a girl. I don’t know if I want to do it.”

    I said, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” half hoping that she would say that she would try it.

    She didn’t. She said, “Thanks. We have to wake up at 8, so I’m gonna go to sleep now. And I want to think about what we did. You’re an awesome friend. Good night,” and rolled on her back to go to sleep.

    I was sort of pissed off. I can understand her not being sure about going down on a girl (that doesn’t mean I have to like it), but just rolling over and going to sleep? At least she said thank you. It turned out that she was straight and she didn’t particularly want to do anything with a girl again. She said she’d do it again if the opportunity came up, and maybe even go farther, but she wouldn’t look at girls any differently than she has been and she wouldn’t go out of her way to get a girl. And she certainly can’t see herself in a relationship with a girl. It’s fine, at least it means she’s open minded and not prejudiced against lesbians.

  321. Alexis Says:

    God this is hopeless. She still bellittles me and wont go out with me. We are not friends anymore. I think I want to kill myself. I HATE straight girls!!!!!

  322. Ramona Says:

    @ Alexis Shut the fuck up because straight girls hate you too!

  323. Ramona Says:


  324. anonymous Says:

    I know this sounds like a typical story in every lesbians life .. or almost every lesbian life. But point blank… I’m in love or at least I think I am. And of course she is straight…. I think. Again I sound like I’m doubting. She has a bf. But she flirts.. in small ways. I just catch myself always wanting to go back for more. And I haven’t told her or anyone…. So this blog is one way I could get this off of my chest. I want her so badly but somehow I just feel like Idk if it will happen.. I don’t want to say anything because I would rather have her around than lose her as a friend.

  325. Norma Says:

    Lesbians stop dating and pinning after straight girl for your own good. This shit is not normal.Heres why
    Every dyke I know has slept with at least one straight woman / confused straight / experimenting / bi-curious girl. I’ve had a handful myself. (LOL, get it — a handful? I’m sorry). I did this when I was extremely confused and full of self-hatred for my own lesbian self (although in those same years, I did date women who were out or very “dykey” in appearance, including some butches). I know – who doesn’t – a few dykes who have had their head and hearts done in by this propensity to sleep with / fall in love with straight women. In all that I’ve gone through, I guess I can say that I’m thankful that I at least have not had this experience. Like it is one thing that I managed to forgo in all the nonsense I went through.

    A friend of a friend exclusively dates and sleeps with straight women. They kiss her and don’t touch her below the neck, she gives, never receives but has yet to give up hope that one day, one of these straight women will go down on her. It hasn’t happened for her yet – in YEARS of dating – but she hasn’t given up hope. She wants that toaster, dammit. I guess it hasn’t occurred to her to, you know, state her desires up front. I guess she thinks they will be so taken by what she is doing that they will want to do it, that they will suddenly feel the swell of lesbian desire. I suppose it could happen, but as I said, so far, it hasn’t. So far, every single time, they end up leaving her for dudes, or worse, keep her as a “side piece” while publicly dating men. She becomes the “lesbian best friend” who the straight girl “sneaks around with” to get the best of both worlds. Because let’s say it like it is – a lot of guys won’t go down and a lot of women don’t get off on penis-in-vagina intercourse. So the straight girlfriend does her PIV thing -which she may not even enjoy who knows – and then gets her rocks off with the lesbian instead of telling her male “true love” to go down on her like she no doubt does on him. Inevitably, the relationship ends – sometimes when the boyfriend gets suspicious and demands she cut off the “friendship,” or when the straight girl gets bored and finds it’s not worth the trouble or embarrassment of being seen with a butch dyke and dumps her.

    So this friend of a friend ends up miserable and crying to her lesbian friends (and then getting super angry when they gently suggest that she consider dating… er… lesbians). She wonders why she hasn’t found true love. She won’t even date bi girls, where there would actually be a chance of reciprocation. She talks about longing to feel the touch of a woman’s hands and mouth on her, but she steers very clear of lesbians (which at this point, in all honesty, is probably better for the lesbians). Talk about internalized dykephobia. I wish her the best, I really do. Because the best would be for her to break free from her internalized homophobia, and finally, finally find her sexual release in the capable mouth and hands of another lesbian, the way so many women have found it in hers.
    This shit is pathetic.

  326. Anonymous Says:

    I am straight girl who fell in love with another girl. We became friends then lovers that’s when I found out she was a tranny. I got raped and then pregnant by this thing. I had to go get a fucking abortion. Never again, I am strictly attracted to guy, strictly dickly.

  327. Jamie Says:

    I used to get a kick out of popping straight girls cherries, I always made it clear I didn’t want a relationship (yes I was a bit of a slut). I have had a lot of angry bfs and have had my fair share of stalkers. I am settled down now and in love with an amazing women, previously straight, we have been going strong for years and are planning to start a family. I really lucked out there. I have seen a lot of lesbian friends broken hearted over straight girls.

  328. so very true Says:

    to all you diseased lesbians out there, rot in hell and burn.

  329. Anonymous Says:

    @ Yeah right how do you pop another girls cherry. Jamie I hope you didn’t catch any STI’s while you were a freackin slut. Herpes is a real bitch so I’ve heard.

  330. Anonymous Says:

    @ so very true You took the word out my mouth. Lesbos are creepy EWWWWW

  331. anonymous Says:

    my answer to the women that are lesbians out there, you women were dropped on your heads at birth and this was the result.

  332. Confused Says:

    I’ve definately had a few lesbians try to turn me but I was never interested in girls back then, or at least aware that I was. I wish I had given it a shot now. I don’t know if I could go through having sex with a girl until I was in the moment but I definately feel attracted to some girls, although I do like guys too. I think I must be bisexual but all of this is confusing!

  333. Anonymous Says:

    Ha Ha being a bisexual is cool nowadays.

  334. Anonymous Says:

    @ Dumbbutch don’t you use protection. God you really are dumb.

  335. Harriet M. Says:

    iv had three girlfriends, two of them all over a year long. but each time they started off as ‘straight’ but said they had feelings for me, iv always been reluctant to go out with someone who was straight for so long but after a while they convinced me there feelings were real. but all have them have met some boy during our relationship who within a few weeks they have left me for. i honestly don’t know where i go wrong, i know i probably shouldn’t even consider a girl who was straight but i always give them the benefit of the doubt because they have to start somewhere. should i just give up on girls who arent already 100% out a gay or what? im fed up of being hurt. my last girlfriend literally left me out of the blue.

  336. CrazyMary Says:

    @ Harriet M

    It´s typical they do that, they all start being all nice even will cook for you, use you then discard you. that´s what one of my ex gf did who happens to be my next door neighbor.. After I realized she just wanted to play me, and later I found out she is more than a slut..broke it off , I stopped talking to her. And got out of that misery soon and on time; now she is just pissed off at me all the time she shows it, and tries to get my attention back again by bringing different men and kind of rub them on my face, to get me jealous, but I am not , which I laugh at it because I exposed the slut she really is on her face and told her I could never be with a slut. But she seduced me saying that she was really into me and falling for me bla bla bla tried to sell me something she is not at all, then she went off with some guy and then another and so on!! Find yourself a real girl who will be into you not the other way around, otherwise these women will advantage you!! You deserve better trust me!! Way better other than straight slutty women pretending to be gay for a day or two just so they can grasp your attention take em out to nice fancy dinner and milk money out of you, and squeeze your brains out over torturing yourself asking if they really like/love you when it ´s all nothing but bullshit!! . It makes me sick!!!! no harm intended but truly these type of women do exist. Source: personal experience!!!!!!!!!!!! Pop your eyes wide open and look for a real woman good at heart instead of grown childish girls! best of luck

  337. Harriet M. Says:

    I am going to stop being hard headed and NOT go after straight women, I need to respect there sexual orientation and preferences. To CrazyMary not all straight women are sluts it is not a typical thing. I will heed your advice and look for a real lesbian woman with a good heart. Good luck to you also.

  338. LeftEye Says:

    I am a lesbian, and i had just recently come out to my best friend of 7 years. She was totally cool and supportive, because her sibling is gay. But 2 weeks later, i told her i have loved her since 10th grade, and she was weirded out by it. I explained to her why i fell for her in the first place, and why i think she is my soulmate. So then we stopped talking about it for like 3 weeks. So then she started talking about guys alot more with her sister (rarely used to talk about guys), and then she puts that she likes men on this website when she hadn’t had that info down before. So i sent her a message saying that she was trying too hard to show/prove she was straight, and i said maybe she is bicurious or something. I explained again that i still loved her, explained very sweetly why i fell for her in the first place, and i asked her to be my girlfriend. Well she responded very nasty to my heartfelt message. She accused me of being a stalker, she called me stupid, said she didn’t want a relationship with me, and said that she thought i got over her and that she would block me if i continued to bother her. I know she is straight, but why did she have to be so mean in her response? She just wants me to get over my 2+ years feelings for her like i’m not human. I thought i was being selfish by telling her in the first place how i feel, but she is being selfish for wanting me to drop it and apologize for my behavior towards her. Does she know how hard it’s been for over 2 years watching her hug, have crushes on, and flirt with guys? Everytime she would show interest in a guy or hug one, i would get depressed and my nerves would be all shot. My stomach would be in knots, and i wouldn’t be able to eat. And i had to keep my feelings bottled up for YEARS. She acts like this is a little BS crush, when it is actually love. I was suicidal over her. I was ready to kill myself (actually attempted it), because i couldn’t stomach the fact of her being in love with someone else and having a happy life with someone else. I just feel like she could be more sensitive and understanding to my feelings.

    I’m not going to ask her out anymore and i’m getting over her, but should i let her know that i didn’t appreciate how she responded to my message, or should i just let it go?

  339. marrog Says:


    Sweetheart, I feel for you, but I’ve got to say that from your account it seems like the one who was out of line here was you. It’s totally cool to let your feelings out if you felt it was what was best for you, but after you confessed them and your friend began to make it really deliberately obvious that she was into guys, that should’ve been the last word on it. Chasing after her and trying to talk her round, and doubting _her_ truthfulness, suggesting that she was ‘trying too hard’ to prove herself; that’s not respectful, and it’s not cool. If I were you, and I wanted to stay friends with this girl, I’d be apologising for coming on too strong, stressing to her how important her friendship is to you, and trying to let her go in the hopes that you can keep the good friendship that you had. It seems at this point though as though you might have come too far to salvage things with one another, but the good news is that there’s a whole world out there, you’re pretty young, and you have plenty of years of love and friendship with plenty of other people out there in front of you. Good luck, and take care of yourself.

  340. J Says:

    I was hoping for some advice…

    I am a 24 year old straight guy. I have met a girl who I am really falling for. The first time we met we kissed. A few weeks later I told her I quite liked her which was when she told me she had came out as gay before she left Sweden for the UK. I am really close friends with her now. We see each other all the time, and she tells me about her dates and we go to gaybars together and generally have a great time.

    She told me a few weeks ago that she slept with a guy. It really hurt me because she knew that I really liked her. i said i have no right to tell you what to do because it is your life, but please do not tell me if you get with a guy because you know how I feel about you. She has respected that since.

    My feelings for her keep getting stronger and stronger though and i am not sure what to do about it, because I do not want to lose her as a friend as well.

    Any advice?

  341. Fer Says:

    @ J
    I put myself in your shoes and I know how you must feel, It is tough and hurtful to think about this girl as a friend when she slams on you her stories about her dates. Evidently, she is not into you in any other way except friends.Either that or she is testing the waters to see how far you´d go for her, or she is trying to make you jealous which it´d be childish…. You have to put up with her stories, even if she sleeps with another guy; your decision to remain friends might hurt you even worse in the long run because you got strong feelings for her, but you need to decide if you´d be able to handle and to continue being near or hoping and lingering around a girl that is not there for you. Go out with other girls; that will definitely help you get over her ,or will get her attention with another female being around you might spark up something in her maybe jealousy usually happens who knows… women are competitive…. you can still remain her friend, but seriously? Why would you even keep around a girl who said no to you in the first place? you told her how you felt, she will drag you down to misery if you stay around, keep it cool, I had this similar situation happened to me this summer I decided to cut all bonds with her before I suffer and I was falling in love with her, it still hurts to see her dating other guys and they sleep over at her place, but I am dating and there are plenty of beautiful women out there who are worthy to limit yourself to just that one that is not liking you back… Good Luck to you and hope you find a nice girl!!!

  342. LeftEye Says:

    @ Marrog Thanks, even though it is very hard for me to see things that way, I am going to let her go.

  343. Tricia Says:

    hate being gay most of the time. I’m female I’m butch but real nice, it does not matter, because what I’ve found is that other lesbians can be so thoughtless,insensitive & just downright BOORISH! Did the majority of you grow up w/o anyone who taught you the value of how you should treat other people? based on my experiences I would have to answer with a resounding YES!
    Because all I’ve found within the local gay community were:

    Zero social skills
    Just plain F**king CRAZY!
    Get off on just ridiculing another woman because they’re NICE.
    Gay women who hang out in groups who act like THEY’RE ALL THAT
    Gay women who hang out with their friends and don’t invite a woman who is
    alone to join them..

    The occasional lesbo stalker who shows up at you door completely unannounced because you
    were simply being nice & polite,she then reads this as some sort of a love connection. And get this! The crazy woman has the NERVE! to get indignant because you won’t invite her into your home! WHY? The dummy shows up, WE ARE not friends,partners,lovers NOTHING! She is lucky I did not assault her! Talk about violating one’s privacy and not otherwise giving a damn! I’m just REAL tired of this treatment. Word of caution, violate my boundaries and you’ll pay with a good verbal WRATH! I don’t care to be treated in such a manner. WOMEN what in the hell is wrong with you!!??
    Let me enlighten you here ok? WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW A WOMAN that well……..Are you listening here? THEN IT IS NOT, I REPEAT NOT okay to just show up at someones door ESPECIALLY when you don’t call first but just don’t go showing up at a womans door when you don’t even know her. Its never okay. And it isn’t okay to follow the target of your affections around either (happened to me) CAN YOU SAY CREEPY? Get a life! Get some therapy but leave me the Hell alone!
    One of things that always leave me scratching my head? Are some women who just have ZERO sense! Most times I would be so exasperated by some of the womens stupid behavior I would be rendered speechless. Women you have got to learn BOUNDARIES! Its surprising how many of the women don’t know this, or just basic social etiquette. Desperation, IS NEVER ATTRACTIVE!
    Neither is obessiveness

  344. LeftEye Says:

    @ Tricia I guess that is why we lesbians love straight girls sooooo much. But they are not good for us either because they are such heart breakers. It suck to be a lesbians most of the time for me.

  345. Anonymous Says:

    wanna start this off by making it clear I’ve always considered myself straight, ONLY ever dated guys before. but recently I met this lesbian girl called Sara – she’s another bartender at the pub I’ve been working at. we started hanging out, went to a couple of concerts together, and she seemed really really, really, eventhough she looked like a man. I guess you could say we’d started becoming friends.

    but the other night after work, we’d had a few drinks and gone back to hers – I was totally smashed, so I ended up dozing off on her sofa. next thing I knew when I woke up, she was on top of me, doing all kinds of things… I tried to push her off, but she was stronger than me. she made me do things I’m ashamed of, and did even more embarrassing things to me. the worst part is that my body reacted in ways I didn’t want it to…

    I don’t know what to do. I just feel so embarrassed and confused. I’ve thought about trying to talk to someone about it, but I don’t know if they’d take it seriously or believe me… please can someone tell me what to do? Tricia is right some lesbians are downright boorish. I need to call the cops are this perverted manabe.

  346. Anonymous Says:

    I meant on that perverted manabe bitch freak whorebag.

  347. Anonymous Says:

    Straight GIRLS SHOULD STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM LESBIANS. Never go to their house or what happened to me will happen to you.

  348. Fernanda Says:

    @ Anonymous

    What happened to you is extreme is called rape!! You tried to push her off; she kept on….that is awful, I think that, there are boundaries that straight/lesbians should never cross, what she did is disrespectful; she took advantage of you while you were smashed up, if your body reacted, well you were practically unconscious of your actions. Don´t know I am totally respectful of straight women, and lesbians, I am lesbian but I could just never disrespect anyone sexually like that so savagely. All in all is the kind of education as in morals and values one should have as a person. I am sophisticated and subtle not all people have it together I suppose. You should just cut all ties with her and place restraining order or something on her; and just because you had a very grotesque and awful experience don´t generalize or stereotype, because not all gay people are like that. You have to place your own boundaries right of the start otherwise people will be misled and whatnot…

  349. Anonymous Says:

    @ Fernada I am never trusting another lesbian whorbag again for as long as I live. I will never ever go to som lesbo’s house. And I told at work if she even looks at me wrong I will fucking kill her. That savage bitch knows she is guilty and will not fight me back. Straight girls should put up boundaries and wall up so that perverted predator do not get to them female or males. You don’t know what I have been there so don’t tell me how to feel or think. I didn’t not mislead so get that idea out of your head. Society always tries to blame the victim for criminals’ misdeeds, it’s digusting.

  350. Anonymous Says:

    Whoa this sites took a turn to the left.

  351. jenny Says:


    the world’s first and largest and secure site dedicated to lesbian singles.

    “The place to look for womanly love.”

  352. LeftEye Says:

    Lesbians are TOO UGLY for me to look at.

  353. Anonymous Says:

    Katie Cassidy is hot. Sign too bad she is straight.

  354. so very true Says:

    what is the definition of lesbians? anyone? answer is, diseased, filthy, low life, piece of shit, worthless pigs, and they could only make it with other women.

  355. Language Says:

    Why are homophobic hate rants not removed from this site? The previous post offers nothing informative about the topic and is merely a generic hateful assault on lesbians as “diseased, filthy, low life, piece of shit, worthless pigs”. Would you allow the N word to be used here?

    I strongly suggest someone on this site enforce some standard of human decency to preserve real and honest dialogue. Spewing hateful language is not dialogue, it’s simply hate.

  356. Jesushorse Says:

    Yes I get the last word. It shall be Penis!!!

  357. Margaret Says:

    I think these rants are funny as hell.

  358. LeftEye Says:

    A lesbo called me the N word once it wasn’t cool so I punched her in the face.

  359. Jessy Says:

    I am an 18 year old girl who identifies as a lesbian, but I am also a decent human being and I would never consider forcing myself on anyone. What that girl did was unforgiveable @ anon, but you cant generalise saying that every lesbian is the same!

    With regard to falling for straight girls, as human beings (lesbians are those you know). We cannot help who we fall hopelessly in love with, gay, bi or straight. If, as a gay women you fall for a straight girl, then whilst I do believe many “straight” women are open to some flirtation with other women, and some women possibly more, but if any person, whatever the sex or sexuality makes it clear that they are not interested, then you need to let it go as upsetting as it might be. If the person you desire doesn’t desire you STOP. We can’t always have what we want. That’s life.

    I don’t know why people have focused on lesbians being the devils sporn, and not letting go, and continually pursing when the object of their desires says no. Situations like this happen with every gender and every sexuality. It’s not a GAY issue is a human issue. You can’t generalise it’s down to a specific personality/person.

    I am personally in love with a girl who happens to identify as straight, although she has expressed her love for me also, and says she doesn’t feel this way about any other girl but she’s crazy about me, and we have felt this way for a long, loooong time. However it’s a hopeless situation as we live, very, very far apart and she is now in a relationship with a guy, which she says is to try and forget me. It hurts very, very much, but I cannot actually be with her and make her happy and this guy can, so I have let go. I want her to be happy.

    She is constantly on my mind and I fear that I may be letting go something very, very special and someone I would like to make a life with. I know thats crazy but I am besotted. However I have those fears that a straight girl will always revert back to men. I am not very experienced sexually, although I have had one serious girlfriend and I wonder if straight women would be satisfied with the sexual side of a relationship with a girl. We have not been together you see. I hope though that when you make love to someone out of love and not just lust, it’s gonna be great whatever.

    I am really very unhappy to be honest as I cannot think of anyone else. Life is a bitch basically. I have been to gay bars and I didn’t really fit in. I am not very gay looking, well not at all, and I found the bars intimidating and it seemed like everyone had slept with everyone talking to girls in there, plus I was not attracted to any women in there. Also the music is gay bars is seriously crap! I spend my time in straight bars with my mostly straight friends and I basically find the women in those bars far more attractive, and since thats what I am attracted too, I strongly believe I am doomed to a life alone, probably surrounded by lots of animals.

    I wish I could find love. I want to find that one special person. My parents met young and married and 23+ years on they are still very much in love, well they have an 18month baby to prove it. I want that, I just don’t know if I can have it since I have the unfortunate attraction to the very thing I cant have!

    Oh and for the comments that people make about don’t knock it before you try it. Yeah that’s really annoying. I am open to love, if I fell in love with a man then I would be with a man, but for me I have never felt that for a guy and I am not going to try it “just to see”. If I walk into a party, I look at the girls, it’s natural to me. I never say never, but I seem naturally programmed to be attracted to women not men. I don’t go looking for straight girls, I just can’t seem to find a gay girl I am attracted too or fall for.

    Oh how I wish I could have my wonderful girl and spend forever loving her, but she’s in the arms of another. I hate my life.

    Lol sorry had a bit of a release of thoughts there! Cheers Peeps.

  360. Anonymous Says:

    Generalizations go both ways. Their are some straight women that think all lesbians are demons and perverts. I hate when lesbians generalize that all women are the same and every straight women should not knock lesbian sex until they try it. If A straight girl said no to them they turn around and call her scared for not trying to be with a women. NO. We are not all the same and no I do not desire to try it. I am not scared of being with a women it is just not me or in my nature. The real reason that lesbians are attracted to straight girls is because straight women are more attractive like Jessy said. They are just too afraid to admit that.

  361. Jessy Says:

    I didn’t mean lesbians are ugly and there are no desirable lesbian’s out there. Just that I havent found one just for me! That might be that i dont move in those circles. I have seen some attractive girls. I was too young or they were not available. AND personally I am not attracted to loads of women either. I am a strange one. Lots of women , straight or gay are not at all attractive to me. Just cos your a woman doesn’t mean we want you. The straight versus gay, it’s a numbers issue really.

    Plus again everything people mention here is a human issue that occur in all walks of life regardless of gender and sexual preference.

  362. Tashae Says:

    LMAO “Just kidding #3 never happens” that was so fucked up! And LMFAO at the first scenerio… X”’D

  363. very much true Says:

    straight women going for lesbians today, is a growing trend now. who would of ever thought that more women today want to be with their own sex, instead of men. then again, at least half the women out there now are lesbians anyway. as a straight man, i now will be competing with other women to meet a straight woman for me. go figure.

  364. Jessy Says:

    I think your exaggerating a bit there @very much true. As a man, you are still spoiled for choice on the women front. It’s alot easier for you to find someone for sure, and I doubt you have gone head to head with a lesbian competing for the object of your desires. Or at least it’s not a regular occurrence.

  365. LeftEye Says:

    Stop fronting Jessy, you now that most lesbians are too dame ugly to look at. That’s why you are in love with your best friend.

  366. me2011 Says:

    i am so confused about my sexuality someone help me please…okay, i’m 23 years old, and I have always found that penis makes me extremely horny and wet, and have no problem giving blowjobs and i enjoy it, however, i don’t seem to develop any kinda sexual ‘feelings’ in my heart towards men, like i do with women, but with women, i don’t like breasts and pussy they do nothing for me. What the hell am i?? I develop feelings for women, not men, but like the male organs and not women’s…i’m so sad ;'( please help! has anyone ever experienced this? i’m depressed…does that mean i will never be satisfied with one sex?

  367. Jessy Says:

    I’m not fronting.  I’m being genuine.  Your just an antagonist.

  368. so very much true Says:

    as a straight man, i just cannot figure it out why you women are choosing to be with other women instead of men. you are a bunch of losers, brainless, and worthless pigs anyway, which is not saying much. what is the matter? cannot make it with a man? so now you women need the attention from other women instead, what a shame. women like you are the absolute reason, why us men cannot meet good women today. oh, did i say good? where in the world are the decent straight ones now?

  369. Jessy Says:

    Haha. The decent straight ones are looking for a ‘decent’ man, and from my brief observations of your comments on this site you are quite rude and thoughtless. So I imagine that’s the reason men like you might be having a tough time meeting a decent lady.

    I won’t lower myself to use such childish language as yourself ‘so very much true’. Try looking at yourself and considering might it be you and your attitude that is inhibiting you finding someone decent. It has nothing to do with the small percentage of women that are choosing women. You have alot more choice so your doing something wrong!

  370. RightAngles Says:

    I personally would like to know why straight men are frequenting a lesbian blog and posting bigoted and hateful remarks. This is not the appropriate forum for you to be expressing your blind hate.

    That being said, I really enjoy this blog and look forward to reading more posts!

  371. Anonymous Says:

    \This blog is a load of crap. I wonder why do some lesbians think there are God’s gift to women when they are not. Always thinking that if you smile at them, say hello or are just friendly to some of then, that you are in love with them. Oh Please. Some lesbians or dykes need to deflate their big heads and egos.

  372. gray Says:

    As a women, I’d rather get beaten/raped by a man then even come in contact with a lesbian. I have partial respect for people who think/truly believe they are gay/lesbian but I think the lifestyle is disgusting and you can’t genuinely have respect for gays because gays aren’t going to live a heterosexual lifestyle anyway. This “love is love” phrase is just a marketing ploy to get people to come out, accept gays for who they are or turn gay, because some people, especially young people are truly only buying into the trend. There are some who aren’t trendy with it, ok, understandable. Though, those who are buying into the trend can be raked in, easily. It’s unnatural as a human being. I believe people can be born that way, but I also believe that it’s a a mental defect. There are heterosexual people for a reason. The human race wouldve died centuries ago if every single person was gay, in a reproductive aspect.

  373. marrog Says:

    Reading the comments on this is like a fascinating unfolding sociological experiment, watching people try to one-up one another on just how unacceptable they can be.

  374. gray Says:

    Stick around. You may actually learn something for once.

  375. marrog Says:

    You may be misunderstanding the scientist-specimen relationship here.

  376. Mickey Says:

    @Gray: how clever of you to clone yourself into the plural “women” [“As a women, …”]! Most of us are firmly stuck in the singular.

  377. Angela Says:

    Do straight girls look better with or with out make up.

  378. Angela Says:

    This is embarrassing and confusing for me to talk about. But it’s really bothering me. I’m a 22 year old female. When I was 16, I was best friends with a girl named “Beth”. Beth and I were really close. We told each other everything. She was the first person I ever felt this close to. We spent the night at each other’s houses all the time. One night, she asked me if I masturbated. We talked (I was really shy about it) and she ended up showing me, etc. Each night we would go further in our physical relationship. She would always start anything that would happen. I was too nervous. It was exciting and confusing. It got to the point that we were having sex every night. She kissed me and told me she was “teaching me for boys” since I had never kissed anyone. We kissed a lot after that.

    Interestingly, she got a boyfriend while all of this was going on. He was okay with us having sex (idk why, guess he thought it was hot) and even asked us to make out in front of him once. I didn’t care as long as I could kiss her. She would always put her boyfriend first. When I was hanging out with her… she would text him. She called him first and it hurt so much when I was put second to him. One day, her bf was driving us to a store. Beth was sitting in the passenger seat. I was right behind her. She took my hand and put it inside her bra. Her boyfriend also touched her boobs. Sorry if this is too graphic. As you can see, it was a weird situation.

    Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her. The kisses and touching and showers together started to mean everything to me. I wanted to spend all of my time with her. I didn’t want to share her. I figured I was there first, right? Anyway…. after I figured out that I loved her, I wrote her a note. I told her I thought I might be bi-sexual and that I had feelings for her. I let her read the note while I went and took a shower. When I came back, she was on the phone with her boyfriend and just nodded her head and laughed. I was like… okay? She didn’t say she liked me back. But we had sex again that night.

    Soon, her bf got mad about the sex. He told us to stop. We didn’t at first but she told me it had to stop. She said she didn’t love me and she loved him. It broke my heart and I was devastated. I begged her to keep being with me and to leave him. She said no. She said what we did wasn’t even sex because we are two girls and that it meant nothing to her. She said it wasn’t cheating and I should just forget it. I didn’t take that well. I freaked out and wrote her notes about how I hated her boyfriend. I felt betrayed, I mean she had sex with me. She broke my heart.

    I acted badly and jealous. I feel bad about that. I acted crazy for a while because I felt trapped. I wrote her several notes telling her how much I loved her. I called her a lot one time. I yelled and cried and fought with her (not physically) about her boyfriend and how none of it made sense.

    She showed all the girls in my science class the notes while I was out sick. I didn’t even know she showed them until later. People started to look at me funny. People thought I was a crazy lesbian dyke or whatever I guess. I could tell they thought I was weird and a freak even if they didn’t say it. Girls didn’t want to be near me. I was on the tennis team and the girls didn’t want to room with me. I had to room with younger girls who didn’t know about me. At a tennis tournament, a girl spread a rumor that I was having sex with my roommates. It wasn’t true. I didn’t find out about the rumor until after the trip. Beth told me they talked about me and referred to my sexuality in the school newspaper. The moms on the team looked at me like I was a disgusting piece of ****.

    Beth told me everyone hated me and that everyone at school thought I was weird. Most of my friends didn’t understand what my problem was. Beth told them about my jealousy and that I liked her but didn’t tell them that we had sex every night for 3 months. I felt very alone.Girls in class alluded to my sexuality. I eventually told a couple friends that I was bi-sexual because I figured it might explain some things. It didn’t help. I became severely depressed, lost Beth as a friend/whatever else, lost other friends, lost my reputation, started cutting, and became suicidal for a while.

    I kind of feel like it was my fault that she felt the need to talk to others. I blame myself for being so jealous. I don’t know if I can consider what happened to me as being outed. I feel sometimes like I deserved it. Like I deserved losing friends and my reputation. I deserved the weird looks and the innuendos from classmates about me being gay. I was a freak and crazy and stupid and I still hate myself for it.

  379. Chica Says:

    Maybe ‘obsession’ is not the right word, but I really don’t get the craziness over them :S They like guys, they may lead you on sometimes, but just get OVER them and go after a girl who actually has SOME intrest in the same sex, not straight girls for goodness sake. The whole thing is so stupid.

    Yet, thats perfectly ok. But if a GUY was to bang on and on and on about how gay girls are hot when he knows he has no chance, or he tries to sleep with a gay girl becasue he’s convinced himself that she’s secretly “leading him on”, we’d call that man a pervert and creepy. WTF is the difference between him and a gay / bi girl banging on and on about straight women??? leave straight girls alone and they’ll leave you alone. GOD.

    And yet, bi-sexuality is seen as a bad thing, but hoping a straight girl will like you is always cool? purr-lease. I would find it equally creepy if I visited an online forum about straight men who fantasised about gay girls 24/7. there’s a similar fandom over straight girls in this site too. Just… weiird?

    I dunno, maybe its because Im a girl who likes gay / bi women and NOT straight girls. I don’t see the point wasting my time fawning over someone who has no interest in the same sex.

    … my rant’s over. lolz. (btw OP, this wasn’t an attack on you, im just talking in general)

  380. marrog Says:


    Firstly, I’m glad you were able to get this off your chest – it sounds like you could really use someone to talk to.

    Secondly, you don’t deserve to be punished for feeling a certain way, and you don’t deserve crap for behaving out-of-character and for being a bit ‘out there’ under the influence of all that emotional stuff. It happens.

    We should really separate ’cause and effect’ from ‘blame’ better, I think, in general in life. Yes, ‘Beth’ probably showed those letters to other people and made fun of you to others because she felt the need to talk about what was going on with her. But that doesn’t mean that you deserved the ridicule you got.

    The truth is that she probably knows she led you up the garden path a bit, it probably wasn’t her intention, and she probably isn’t sure what to do with it now. So she shared it with other people, in a way that made you into an obsessive freak and off-loaded _any_ blame from her, to give herself a free pass, to alleviate her own guilt.

    It sounds like you guys are all in high school and I don’t want to sound patronising, but while you’re all pretty grown-up by this point, we never really stop growing up, and a lot of folk are well into their twenties (or way later – or never!) before they learn to think about how their actions will impact on others, and whether those actions are fair on those people. Mostly teenagers only really think about themselves (me included when I was there).

    For example, Beth’s actions were rash and cruel when she shared that stuff around the class, but then _you_ probably made her really uncomfortable when you continued to harass and call and write to her after she’d made it really clear to you that she wasn’t interested. You may think you were doing it all for her, but I think if you reexamine your actions you’ll see that it was really all about you – your feelings, your obsession.

    Yes, you were messed around. But when these things end – _really_ end, decisively the way this has, you’ve just got to try to let them go.

    When I was about nine, long before I ever knew I was a lesbian and long before I’d even really thought much about what sexuality even _was_, I had a friend who, for a couple of years, maybe three, I used to make out with a lot. We told stories (or really just role-played the same few ‘scenarios’ over and over again) which would culminate in a ‘first kiss’ that would turn into a hot over-the-clothes make out session and maybe a bit of fairly innocent dry-humping. I was always ‘the boy’, but while I tended to keep my hands to myself, hers explored parts that were most definitely not boy-like. This, obviously, isn’t something I ever thought about at the time.

    I grew up on a little island, and there were only two other girls our age in the village, so we were all, in theory, friends, although we had our little rivalries and I’m pretty sure none of the rest of them were making out with one another.

    Anyway, we got older, we were due to move up to high school (that’s around 12 yo in the UK) and in the summer before, we agreed that we were too old to do that any more. I was reluctant, but I didn’t push it. She was, let’s be frank, done practicing and ready for boys. I, as it turned out, would never be ready for boys, but I didn’t figure that out until nearly a decade later. I’d say that unconsciously I had a crush on her until she left for another school a few years later. Anyway, that’s not important, the thing is, she’s married now, has been for years, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only girl she ever messed around with – no matter how physical and into it she seemed when we were little kids.

    Obviously we were way younger than you are, Angela. But I guess what I’m trying to get across is that sometimes girls just mess around because they’re curious. And it doesn’t mean they’re into girls, and it doesn’t mean they’re into you.

    Now, on the one hand this is amazing – it’s amazing that female sexuality is so fluid and that women can feel free to do this stuff with one another without it having to mean a huge change of lifestyle.

    On the other hand, this sucks big time for the poor gay girls who get messed around and fall for them.

    But here’s the clue, the trick to not letting yourself get twisted up inside by it: this didn’t only happen because you’re gay. People experiment – and not always with other genders. Sometimes it’s just with people they wouldn’t usually go for in other ways – taller than usual, thinner, fatter, smarter, dumber, ginger, who knows?

    Yeah, it’s cold comfort perhaps but seriously, plenty of straight folk – male and female – get messed about in _exactly this way_ – and plenty of gays by other gays. That’s why there are so many movies about it – 10 Things I Hate About You, She’s All That, Carrie (that one went _really_ wrong), the list goes on and on. Fucking people and then messing with their heads isn’t the exclusive purview of straight girls.

    The sad fact is that this probably won’t be the first time you’re messed about by someone. The good news is that there are more sexy women and more great nights of shagging and kissing and talking out there for you in the future. And some of them will be with people who when you say ‘I love you’, they’ll actually say it back. So get up, dust yourself off, and keep on swimming.

    ~mo x

  381. marrog Says:


    Shit, sorry, totally didn’t notice you saying that you’re 22 now – although as I’d guessed all the crap went down when you were 16.

    It’s really awful that you still feel so crappy about this six years on, serious sympathy over here. Have you ever been able to talk to anyone about it, properly? Like, a close friend or something? Are you in a position to be able to maybe visit a counsellor, even just a couple of times to talk through this? I really feel like you maybe just need to hear that it wasn’t all your fault, maybe in person from somebody neutral?

    I’m a pretty even-keel kind of person, but I had a few counselling sessions – not full-blown therapy or anything – last year as a sort of ‘oil check’ and I actually found it really useful for just tidying up some junk in the back of my head. If this is preying on your mind and you can afford it, even just for an hour or two, I’d really recommend it.

  382. Angela Says:

    @ Marrog dame that story was long as hell. So long I lost interest. Thanks for trying to cheer me up but I am still madd depressed.

  383. marrog Says:


    Kid, it was the same length as yours. I wasn’t trying to cheer you up; I was trying to give you some advice. Nice work making it worth my while. Jeez…

  384. Angela Says:

    Basically it was all my fault because I was having sex with her even though she had a boyfriend and video taped some of the sexual encounters. I was sooo stupid. Some of lesbos make too many stupid excuses for being attracted and trying to flip straight girls, just to make ourselves happy. But in the end most of these beautiful straight women are never going to become lesbians or truly want to be with someone like me. I need to realize that love was never going to happen between me and Beth no matter how jealous I got and whiny I was. I need to let this go for good. FUCK. Straight girls suck.

  385. so very true Says:

    to jessy, for your information there are many women that are lesbians where i am. i have to be rude, because i been hurt so many times by you women out there that are gay. i did nothing wrong on my part.. it is just that you women are slobs today. if you have to go with other women instead, your a loser. i lost all the respect for you type of women. the definition of a lesbian to me means garbage.

  386. so very true Says:

    to jessy, it sounds like to me that you are a loser.

  387. Angela Says:

    jessy get lost dude.

  388. Emmanuel Says:

    I need a straight girl to work with. if you are interested mail me on emmanciroyal@yahoo.co.uk

  389. Andrea Says:

    i think im in love with my best friend, who is fully against same sex relationships….
    i have no ambition or hope for the future.. i dont care about anything…
    i feel so depressed and sad everytime im not with my best friend..
    she barely wants to talk to me though…
    i hate myself so so much.. i hate every single thing about me..
    and all i want to do is be non-existant but nobody knows that i feel this way cause its awkward everytime i try to tell me…

    theres only one person i want to care about me and she doesnt even act like she does that..
    but im always there for her and she knows i’d do anything for her…

    im so confused.. i have no idea what to do..
    i really need rhinoplasty surgery because my nose is ******* hideous and i hate myself because of it…
    what do i do..

  390. TherealestBitch Says:

    Lessons for Straight Girls!

    A straight girlfriend of mine sparked a blog in me….She said, “I could totally be a lesbian. I get along well with women, actually better than men, therefore it would be easy for me to be gay!”

    And I started to ponder about this comment because this is a common MISCONCEPTION that straight women have about lesbians. They think it’s easy to be gay and/or to be in a relationship with a woman because they have such a “good time with their girlfriends!” Well, it’s not easy being gay! And its NOT easy to date women! And, of course, straight girls get along with their girl friends BECAUSE they are not fucking them!!

    The first reason why it’s not easy to be in a lesbian relationship…..One word: SEX.

    Sex is the root of all drama and problems. Think about it straight ladies, Why do you like men? It’s because you are SEXually attracted to them in the beginning. And how do you express that attraction? By Having SEX. And by having this sex, you start to become more intimate and share more of yourself in the relationship! By giving your body to someone else, you are opening up literary and physically to that person. Whether you like it or not OR if you are a reformed player like myself …Sex does create some kind of bond, and that bond makes shit complicated. Think about it: Why do women flip out when their husband/lover/boyfriend gets caught having SEX with someone else?? If sex didn’t mean anything, then we wouldn’t have these monogamous ropes tying us away from the world when we enter into exclusive relationships! We would all be open and free and fucking the world – safely fucking, of course!

    What I am trying to say is that….SEX complicates things for lesbians too. SEX breeds jealously, fights, and drama. A relationship between two women cultivates this need to nest, cling, and just be fucking annoying. But, when you add sex in the mix, its a recipe for disaster! SEX = JEALOUSLY…remember that!

  391. Jessy Says:

    Hi So very true.

    Thanks but i am not a loser, I am not ugly or a slob. I am doing pretty well in my life so far thank you very much. I didnt choose to be gay, like you didnt choose to be straight, its just a fact of life thats who I am. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember. I have no idea why you are hating lesbians so much, you cant be seriously be telling me that the lesbians are taking over where you are from, give me a break. Stop using lesbians as an excuse that you cant get a bloody date, that really quite pathetic, and you are painting such a vivid picture of your character its getting blaringly obvious why you feel you cannot attract a women (or at least keep one).

    I am sick of this labelling of people. When I meet a person I dont ask for all their credentials for god sake, I spend a little time (actually alot of time) getting to know a person. If we mesh we mesh. Some relationships fail and some work and its dependant entirely on the personailities involved. If a person loves me and love them well thats enough for me to give it a go.

    Stop obsessing about lesbians taking all the straight girls cos seriously its NOT happening. Oh and for the person saying its a mental defect, well if it is its not a terrible one and the human race is not going to be wiped out cos of a small percentage of homosexuals! The fact a small number of women choose women isnt really an issue and its none of your business who is sleeping with who or what they do.

    AND Dont you dare call me a loser or a slob as you know nothing about me, other than i am female, age 18 and I like women. You comments are just making you sound ugly like your personality.

    Do you have a girlfriend? If so stop moaning about lesbians and focus on her.

    All this discussion is a load of crap, relationships take two people and if both are consenting adults then whats the problem. Doesnt matter of you are gay, straight or bi if you not with the right person, odds on your gonna get hurt, but if your with the right person its going to be wonderful.

    Stop being so hateful. Hate is one of the reasons this world is so fucked up. Live and Let Live there are of fish in the sea for everyone!

  392. Anonymous Says:

    STFU. Lesbian sex is sooooo overrated.

  393. imstraight Says:

    I hate lesbians get some dick in your life bitches…gross

  394. so very true Says:

    to amelia rose and all the other lesbians out there, get a life you filthy low life, diseased infested pigs.

  395. i agree Says:

    the definition of lesbians to me means garbage, and that is what you women are. what is the matter, hate men? you women will always be the scum that is on this earth, and you are worthless pigs. were you women very badly abused by men at one time? this will explain why you women are so dysfunctional today.

  396. Jessy Says:

    To the lesbian haters in here.

    Why are you even snooping around lesbian web sites??? Is it that since the lesbians are so “dysfunctional” and “filthy garbage, low life diseased infested pigs” as you put it, you have to frequent these sites to make yourself feel better??

    You know, hang out with the scum so your superiority really shines out through your wit, and sparkling intellect.

    That must be it, as I cant see any other reason.

  397. Arghie Says:

    Being gay is a choice. Partly due to the fact that you embrace your sexual preference and didn’t “choose” to lie about it. I am a gay girl. I’ve bended straight paths not with the mindset of “breeding” more gays out there. I respect a girl as much as a real dude being in love. Most of my ex girlfriends are straight, let me stress out on the present tense, “are” as most chose to be with guy after me while a few stayed on in the journey.

    So why relationship with straight girls end? Well, you have all sorts of reasons laid out. And all reasons do not only matter on you being gay but with the idea of constant change. People change, no matter how gay or straight you are. So why do we fight for equally rights as the straights? It because of love, the cliche of it. We fight for the right to love and be respected. If God works in mysterious ways, and He is love, then let love work in you mysteriously as at the end of day, it is in your hand on whether you choose to step in or out. And “why relationships with straight girls end” reciprocates to the idea on “why some straight girls choose to stay.”

    And brainwashing’s really stupid. It’s a thought straight girls come up with when they’re denying that they’re actually falling for a lesbian. You see, there’s no point ranting about how a lesbian makes a move on you, straight girls. It’s the same notion straight guys do when they’re flirting with a girl. If you don’t like it, do not entertain.

    So now, you’re probably asking yourself why my past relationships ended. Well, it just didn’t workout. We didn’t have time for each other, small idiotic arguments, reminding one’s past, insecurities, jealousy, and so on. The same problems a straight couples have.

    And all of you are girls here, so please erase the understanding that girls seek for good sex or anything that involves sex in particular. You are just degrading your own kind. Girls need love and security and not idea the of sexual pleasure, big or small, but with the idea of waking up with the person they just “made love” with.

    So my advice, love yourself first and you’ll definitely see the “right” signs these straight girls are giving. When you follow lust and crush, you’ll try too hard and it will turn out as harrassment, as what some straight girls think. But when you know the love you want for yourself, you’ll be true and firm. And if she’s not the one, you’ll know it.

    Any questions? arghiedegracia@hotmail.com

  398. Jessy Says:

    FINIALLY!!! A person with a bit of common sense!

    I don’t really think there is anymore anyone can say on this subject .

  399. how true this is Says:

    to all you lesbians pigs out there now, you are all losers and always will be losers, case closed.

  400. Jessy Says:

    Take’s a pig to know a pig. Case closed.

  401. TherealestBitch Says:

    Why do some lesbians go after a straight women then get all madd and embarassed if or when the straight woman reject they. They shoul have seen it comming from jumpstreet. Anyway rejection is a part of life.

    @ Arghie Being gay is not choice but an alternative lifestyle, so shut up.

  402. Arghie Says:


    You said it, ALTERNATIVE. Being gay is not doomsday, not the last resort as what you think (and what the Republicans believe). Its an option or what you prefer as an ALTERNATIVE decision. A choice, I say. You choose to act on it. And, thank you. :)

  403. how true this is Says:

    hey jessy, you are the scum of the earth, you low life piece of garbage.

  404. Jessy Says:

    Haha, seriously come on, change the goddam record.

    Your comments are really sad and frankly boring. Try looking at each individual person. Who they are, what they do with their lives, what kind of person they are etc before calling them names like a 5 year old kid. Grow up, and since you detest lesbians might I suggest you stop hanging out on this web site???

  405. anonymous Says:

    what is all this garbage going on about lesbians? i do have to agree with the last person, there are so much more women now that are into their own sex more than men. i don’t get it either. there are so many men out there that are very sincere like me that do hope to meet the right woman today, but the way that you women have changed, it makes it very difficult now. can you blame us? since we are straight, we would like not to be alone and have the company of women in our life. just like the way that you are in love with women. very sickening on your part, not ours.

  406. TherealestBitch Says:

    If straight men would treat their women better then maybe alot of straight girl would not Turn “lesbian” for the so called better life. It takes two to tango. Men need to step their game up and get their wait before it is to late. Or else they will be dealing with the problem of women being more into other women.
    BTW Merry X Mas you guys.

  407. Caitlyn Says:

    I loved my best friend for years. She’s really adorable and silly and was always there for me. I was afraid of my feelings for the same reason as a lot of you, I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. It was always in the back of my mind though, she would hold my hand and kiss my cheek and give the best hugs and snuggles, all on a terribly platonic level, but it was nice all the same. Finally I got the balls to talk to her about it late one night at her house. I asked her if she had ever been curious about bi-sexuality and one thing led to another and we started making out. It was wonderful. After about fifteen minutes though, she pulled away and said, “Well at least I know for sure I don’t like girls now!” I just laughed and agreed with her. I didn’t want to ruin anything by pushing it, so I just left it at that. We were still great friends for months after that and even though it hurt to know she didn’t want me like that it was better than not knowing at all.
    So I guess the moral of that story is to be open with your feelings. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt. be afraid of never knowing.

  408. Fran Says:

    Hi soo um im straight but like i think my best friend is in love with me. She doesn’t know that i know she’s a lesbian cuz her mom accidently let it slip in front of me but like recently if i talk to anyone else she gets super jealous and like she’s getting super handsy and like her txts r starting to make me a little bit uncomfortable and shes started getting rly upset over like little things like if i dont txt her or when i go to parties she interogates me about what happened. This girl is one of my best friends in the whole wide world she’s like my sister i love her to death honestly she’s like my other half but im rly straight and i dont have those kinds of feelings for her what should i do? And just btw as someone who is on the otherside of this friendship i would rly prefer to have her tell me and be honest cuz then we could continue being friends where as the way my friend is doing it is kinda starting to affect our friendship negatively.
    There are always two sides of a story. This is my side a person who is heterosexual. I hate the word straight.

  409. Fran Says:

    I guess my situation is why alot of heterogirls I know say they cannot be friends with a lesbian. Because of the possibility of the lesbian having a crush on them and then becoming pycho if hetero girl doesn’t like her back. But that’s life you can’t always get what you want.

  410. Boo Says:

    OMGG so very true, you must have had your girl stollen by a beautiful Lesian!

  411. HeartbrokenGirl Says:

    Well this my story. It began in school. I fell in love with my bff and was in it for 6 years- during which I had Male crushes so that I could sound normal. I was totally into her and everything, everyone else was phased out. When we graduated high school, I changed schools for a year and it was hard for both of us but when I came back she was already in a relationship with a guy who I knew was not worth her time. I tired to convince her to get out of it but she was just in it because she had no one else who’d pay attention to her as much as me. The guy dumped her royally in cold blood and left behind pieces for me to pick up. I had not come out at that time but was in the process and I confessed to her on a phone call. She hung up on me which broke me but I managed somehow. Then I had a junior who said he wanted to date me so we did but when we kissed I knew it was just wrong for me to be kissing him or for that matter any guy. So we broke up, me being completely honest with him. He didn’t take it that well but I did not want to live a lie. My bff didn’t approve of him and I managed to somehow suppress my love for her. She is ok wit the fact that I like her and everything but I have to act like it was something of the past. then now recently she’s been going crazy over this guy she met at work and can’t stop blabbing about him. It sucks because I want to help her and cheer her on because she’s my best friend but the other half is dying inside knowing she’ll never see me as anything but her best friend. I know it’s wrong to even expect this but I want to ask her just once more.. perhaps to confirm for myself whether she’s absolutely not interested in me..Should I ask her?

  412. confusedgirl101 Says:

    I know exactly how you feel. Well, sort of. I was in a very similar position with a girl that i liked (who is straight…ish) but she was caught up on a guy so it was harder for us to really talk about it. Well, we did – but I stuffed it up by not being 100% sure.

    I would wait to ask her again after this thing with the guy blows over. If it doesn’t perhaps it wasn’t meant to be?

    This girl that I like, well I’m almost infatuated with her – has been a close friend of mine throughout high school (we just recently graduated) and still is. Last year, I tried my luck and asked her if she would kiss me and she said maybe. We spoke about it but as I previously said I blew it by saying I wasn’t sure what I wanted and who I was. But does this mean that she was interested in me? A few days ago we had a bit of a falling out because I didn’t know whether she liked me or not and she ended up saying that she hadn’t forgotten about what we had spoken about last year. I know I may be reading way too much into it but I would I be justified in thinking that she may be interested?? She has never been with another girl but she has also said to me that she thinks she might be bi (I’m bi)….. We are meant to be talking on Friday but I don’t know whether to mention it first or wait for her to say something or what. Advice please!!! I think I would just be better off knowing that she either is or isn’t interested so I can be at peace!

    Thank you…..

  413. Lasko Says:

    OK…. I’m needing some help here…. This blog was very informative since I’m a straight guy, but here’s my trouble: My girlfriend of 3 years has spoken of her fantasies of being with another woman. We have enjoyed the thought provoking images and it’s opened up some brilliant ideas. She had never been with a girl until she cheated on me with one in March of 2011. She told me she wasnt feeling well while at her friends house and took a pain killer and was a little loopy. Her friends sister is lesbian and they messed around and slept in bed that night while my girlfriends kids where sleeping in the living room. My girlfriend is 37 and the girl she messed with is 25 or 26. My girlfriend lied to me about going to the movies with this lesbian friend about 3 months before the “sleepover”. I’m not sure how to deal with this. I told my girlfriend that this 25 year old was coaxing her for a relationship and could clearly see it coming a year before and my girlfriend assured me she would never act on her “curiousity”. Since then, I have told her to stay away from this “sleepover pal” or I would leave our relationship. The bigger problem is that in staying away, her best friend has gotten upset (the lesbians sister is my girlfriends best friend). All of them act like its no big deal, and that they can all pal around and I am wondering if I’m getting snowballed so they can keep screwing around. Should I lighten up? Should I break up? Or should I f*ck around with this girl too and then tell my girlfriend “ok, now we can all pal around and hang out since we’ve both had her” My girlfriend says it was a one night experimental thing, but I can’t image her hanging at her best friends house, seeing the girl she f**cked around with, and my girlfriend has to be reliving those thoughts each time she’s around her right? Any mature responses would be appreciated.

  414. kindnessfirst Says:

    Hey Lasko….I think you may be focusing on the wrong issue here…if she likes girls, she likes girls, but orientation doesn’t seem to be the issue here as much as trust is. If this girl screws around on you and lies to you, you cannot trust her. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Infidelity is not the problem, but a symptom of a larger issue. If you want to save this relationship, you will have more success if you focus on the root of the issue. My advice to you: Don’t ever let yourself go crazy over anyone, male or female. It is not worth it.

  415. marrog Says:


    Okay, there are two things going on here that you need to find a way to deal with separately.

    1. Your girlfriend is having a crisis of sexuality. This is something you should talk about seriously. You may already have done so. But don’t mix it up with…

    2. She cheated on you. Cheating is cheating. Sometimes it’s borne of confusion and stress. Sometimes it’s borne of being a cheater. If you choose to forgive her, that’s fine, but don’t get the bi-curious thing get in the way of the core issue of her infidelity – and don’t let anyone else try to down-play it by pulling the ‘it’s just girls together it doesn’t count’ card, either.

  416. Boo Says:

    marrog, I think you ROCK!

  417. lol Says:

    The trolls here are painfully stupid and unfunny. I kind of feel bad for them, actually. So much internalized homophobia must be tearing them apart.

  418. Anonymous Says:

    In one of my classes, there was a girl who acted kinda weird around me, after awhile I realized that she was gay and was acting weird because she was attracted to me. One day, she slipped me her number, and I never called her. Soon after, she dropped the class, I never saw her again. Maybe she felt humilated because she got rejected. The thing is, is that I’m not gay, and I don’t know what made her think I’d be interested in her. do I give off lesbian vibes or something? Even if I were bi, she surely wouldn’t be my type at all. It is what it is. I have an easier time rejecting a guy that I don’t like because they are more tougher or act that way. Their feeling don’t get hurt as bad as some ladies do, if you know what I mean.

  419. Josie Says:

    I have fellen for a feww straight girls and got my heart ripped out, stomped on, stapled back together and then ripped apart again. After my 2 straight girl experiences nothing became more unattractive to me then straight women.

    Now my best friend is a straight girl and if anyone ever tries to turn her, they’ll have to go through me first! I know first hand how fucked up everyone can get in that sort of situation and there’s no way in hell I’d let her go through that.

    Straight women are straight. We need to just let that go. There are PLENTY of amazing gay and bi women out there to keep us more then busy with love and drama and heartbreak. We don’t need to make things even harder on ourselves, do we?

  420. spychic Says:

    okay, i admit it. i am a sucker for a skirt and tall boots. i am a sucker for a challenge. i am a sucker for ridiculous odds. ergo, i love the straight girls and the men who hurt them.

    in my 22 year stint as a homosexual, i have earned my share of toasters, microwave ovens, and other door prizes for converting/turning out the straight girls. 50% of the women i have been with were straight, half of whom (or 25% of the total, roughly 1 in 4) stayed gay. not fantastic odds, but when us gay girls crush on you straight girls, we’ll take it.

    also, it’s a lot easier to meet a straight woman in every day life than a gay woman — which requires living near or within a major metropolitan area and frequent trips to gay bars and events. my schedule just doesn’t accommodate that lifestyle in my 40’s as it did in my 20″s.

    another way to look at it is through the Kinsey Scale:

    [picture of Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale].

    with gay women appearing more straight comes gay women who are more attractive to heteros in the 1-5 range. sometimes b/c the gay woman IS so discreet looking. sometimes b/c the gay woman puts out some weird energy that the straight woman doesn’t understand but she digs her company enough to find out. or sometimes b/c the gay woman has cast a spell.

    i have had my share of deep wounds. i have had gay friends tell me to let it go (when they saw what was blind to me). and, i have had straight friends beg me to cross the line. one of my best, purely physical connections was with a straight woman. so………although 3 out of 4 is a loss, the 1 in 4 that worked out was sooo worth it.

    the real bummer for me has not been that the straight girl comes to her senses, but that she can’t stay friends with me b/c f how awkward she then feels around me. in cases where i think the girl will freak, i usually don’t cross the line.

    if you’re straight and cute and have the skirts and tall boots….give me a shout!

  421. spychic Says:

    @ the realest bitch…………..
    i agree with you completely chica!

  422. Josie Says:

    @ spychic SOO your point is that Straight girls for the most part, 3 out of 4 is a loss like you said, are not worth it. All the pain, and heartache we lesbians go through over these straight women is just ridicules. The Kinsey Scale is a bunch of nonsense too.

    There are real lesbian and bisexaul women out there be we are just too lazy to look for them. Though it is a good stroke to the ego to supposedly turn a straight girl, only temporarily, all this straight girl idolizing will ultimately hurt and damage us more in the end.

    @the realest bitch You couldn’t havae said it any better.

  423. Straight gurl 4 life Says:

    Let me put it in simple English… All you gays, lesbos whatever can shove it where the sun don’t shine because we heterosexuals are NOT interested in your shit. So think twice before you sick lesbos start hitting on a straight girl because nothing good will come out of it.

    I actually find it funny how you lesbos try to “turn” straight girls into being gay, I mean are you that desperate or something? Some of us in this twisted world still wanna make babies naturally you know because that’s how life should be – Man and Woman together.

    NUFF SAID. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone… Not.

  424. BellatrixLestrange Says:

    The gender of the significant other does not matter to me and I have this sort of luck with just about every girl I’ve ever liked (except for this one that I hope to get that I know is a lesbian). It’s like if I like her, she will turn out to be 100% straight, as in not remotely interested in girls at all. Funny thing is, the last straight one that I had a serious hopeless crush on was asked out by 2 different lesbian/bi girls. I also had this tendency to crush on gay guys back in high school.

    Made the mistake of naming the first girl that I crushed on way back in junior high and that girl, who was straight, freaked. That was around the first time I came out.

    @ Straight gurl 4 life…. whoa there. No need to hate. Like hell I’d ever dig a hateful person.

    I don’t believe in changing a person’s orientation. I think the only thing that we can change in people is whether or not the les/bi ones are still in the closet after being with us. Even though I admitted once that I was bisexual when I was in middle school, I was deeply religious at the time and spent the next several years struggling with my orientation. I fought the side of me that liked women very hard and all it did was drain me and leave my sexuality completely unchanged.

  425. Jessy Says:

    Straight Gurl 4 Life – WOW

    lol I dont get all the negative attitudes on this forum. Every gay or bi girl is NOT out to “turn” straight girls. The people we fall for has nothing to do with sexual orientation. We are not all predators, we are just regular people, living regular lives!

    It has everything to do with two people, meeting, connecting and loving. I doubt that the majority of gay girls go seeking out the unattainable straight girl. It’s just that in our everyday lives we interact, form friendships and attachments to people of all walks of life, some god-forbid are straight people.

    The straight girl I fell for (and her for me). I didn’t plan on making her fall for me. We were friends, just friends, but just connected and we both developed feelings for each other. I did not force myself on her. I didn’t pursue her thinking (robot voice) “I must turn a straight girl.. I must turn a straight girl”.

    I just loved her and she loved me. I didn’t give a crap that she was a straight girl, just as I wouldnt worry about the colour of a person skin, or their religion. I just knew that I really loved being around her, and the feeling was mutual. What’s the problem with that! We were both consulting adults, well actually she was, she is a little older than me and I was 17 at the time.

    I think you will find that the majority of lesbians or bi girls that fall for a straight girl, if their feelings are not reciprociated, then they back off. Just as I am sure the majority of straight girls do when the object of their desires isnt into them. We are not very different you know.

    I wish people would stop making out all lesbians are predators with straight girls as the ultimate prize! Because WE ARE NOT, and straight girls are certainly not the end all and be all.

    One last thing… why is a straight girl that thinks “lesbos” are sick doing on a lesbian web site?


  426. Straight gurl 4 life Says:

    @BellatrixLestrange and Jessy…

    Ok I just thought I’d give my opinion of this whole lesbian behaviour in general, but then again its non of my business, if that’s the way you are then that’s the way you are.
    I was brought up in a Christian family and as far as I know homosexuality is immoral and in some cases strange… yes strange! even in the 21st Century.

    And if you must know… I accidently clicked on this site from Google without noticing its for gay people and besides its a free country with freedom of speech and expression. There are people out there who don’t approve of lesbianism for various reasons, you just have to accept that and get over it.

    Have a nice day :)

  427. Jessy Says:

    @Straight gurl 4 life

    You can give your opinion sure but you don’t have to be rude about it with your general attitude and use of language.

    “All you gays, lesbos whatever can shove it where the sun dont shine because we heterosexuals are NOT interested in your shit. So think twice before you sick lesbos start hitting on a straight girl because nothing good will come out of it.”

    It’s a pity that religion seems to breed hatred and disgust of people who are living their lives different from each other. Oh they are different “strange” let’s hate.

    Plus I don’t see why I should have to accept those individuals who do not approve of homosexuality intruding into spaces specifically for people like me. Bars, Clubs, and places like this. I am fed up of people of different orientation barging in on our space then having a go at us! You don’t see me going to a straight bar saying omg look at all these awful straight people, or on web sites criticising straight people. Come on!

    I say live and let live. I believe it’s good to actually get to know a person before forming a preconceived idea about them. Everyone is an individual.

    Having a good day..

  428. Brenda Says:

    Hi all. Some advice would be very greatly appreciated.

    I recently came out of a relationship with a married woman. She cheated on her husband – he was cheating on her – it was a big mess. She couldn’t do it anymore though, and they worked things out. She says now they have never been so happy and we are trying to stay friends.

    I have been ridiculously depressed to the point of suicidal tendencies and counselling; but that’s not really the problem. That is to be somewhat expected after a break up.

    The problem is that I can’t let go of the fact that I think she is a lesbian, and that she is faking it.

    I have never seen her so happy as when she was with me. She came alive; she absolutely glowed. She said she had never felt like this with anyone. Her passion and her vivid fantasies, they were amazing. And she is fascinated with women and especially lesbians; she thinks they are so beautiful. And I think, from what she has said, that she sees sleeping with her husband as a chore. Now she tries not to think about it because she doesn’t want to get “ideas”, so she says. She started watching The L word but made herself stop because it hurt her to think that these women get to live this life, and she doesn’t.

    I want to know if I am just deluding myself because I want to think that she secretly wants to be with me. Or is there something to this? And I know it’s her problem not mine; I’m not even sure if I would want her to be with me… I’m not sure if she and I are meant to be. But I fell in love with her and I still love her. I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to live a lie.

    Thanks girls. x

  429. Josie Says:

    @ Brenda leave her alone and forget about her, because in the end she chose her husband over you.

  430. editorgirl Says:

    I’ve been reading through a few of the posts and thought I might as well add one, not ranting but getting things off my chest that are driving me mad.

    I am 19 and started university in september. I have a boyfriend who I’ve been with for nearly a year and a half. Before coming to uni, even before college.. I realised that I liked girls. I did the whole ‘fancying a straight girl’ thing with my friend at school though it never went as far as hugging (which was good enough for me) Anyway, since starting uni, I’ve become really good friends with my flatmate. However, she has moved back home (various reasons) so I only get to see her occasionally. but…I am seriously falling for her. We both have boyfriends, so I know this is bad. I’ve told my boyfriend about liking girls but that I have never done anything with them. He said he doesn’t mind if I wanted to but just stay with him. I don’t think thats fair on him and Ive said that.
    The awkward thing about liking my friend is… I really don’t know if she feels the same. She says things like : If I wasn’t with my boyfriend, I’d be with a girl. Whenever we text, she’ll be flirty, telling me that Im gorgeous and says im fit, a few times.. and once we ended up texting something about being flirty with her the next time I see her.. she was like ‘bring it on’ 😉 and I said, ‘i can’t, we’re mates’ and she replies ‘I wouldn’t wanna ruin our friendship..but I don’t think it would’ so, it isnt even like I’m imagining things….though she could be joking/playing with me.
    I feel guilty feeling like this. Don’t know what to do.

  431. Johanna Says:

    Mhh well I need some advice. Im in highschool and Im a lesbian, all of my family and friends know and are accepting. Ive had girlfriends and crushes before mostly on straight girls. Its annoying and confusing. I met a particular girl at a party a couple of months ago. We became friends and I got her number. She knows im a lesbian and doesnt care. We’ve been texting every day for the last couple of months. Ive hungout with and seen her a couple times since… Its not weird because she didnt know I had a crush on her. I just recently told her. We’ve still been talking even though she says shes 100% into guys. Let me just say the only reason I even considered trying anything with this girl is because Ive heard shes a lesbian, even though I know shes had plently of boyfriends and had plenty of sex. Its really confusing because now she knows I like her and she continues to flirt and talk to me. But whenever I bring up the situation of me liking her she just shoots it down with “i know i like guys”. I do not try to convince her of anything, Im not pushy like that. But when shes confronted about it straight up she gets defensive and pulls back. But her actions otherwise are different. She flirts and acts interested. What should I do???

  432. sexy tina Says:

    hey iam indian..and m lesbian..i relly want someone to love me..i even had crush on my bestfriend….but i know she is very much straight i told long time back that m a lesbian:-) and i am the most caring person
    you people will shocked dat homosexualty doesnt exist in india..this is so sad and thats a probelem i could not find any girlfriend…i seriously want a serious relationship..please guys help me help me….how can get a girl.i would be thankful.

  433. C. Chu Chu Says:

    Ms. Chu is full of it. I’ve never read anything so untrue and overblown concerning lesbian behavior. Is Ms Chu herself a lesbian? It’s articles like these that keep the misinformation churning. Give me a break!!!!

  434. just curious says Says:

    are there any straight women on this topic? i would like to hear from you.

  435. Josie Says:

    No just straight homophobic girls like Straight gurl 4 life. Didn’t you read her post? Any way straight girls are straight no matter what we say or think no use deluding ourselves to think otherwise.

  436. Rubar Says:

    This is a great post but i don’t know how I got on it but here I am.
    I’m in my late 20s and woke up one morning (two weeks ago) to the realization that i find the new girl at work totally kissable. I’m quite outgoing and have a liberal take on life but I’ve even shocked myself with this one. IM STRAIGHT! ALWAYS HAVE, ALWAYS BEEN AND IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP! And now she’s poked me on fb. Oh oh…

  437. Nottoosure Says:

    I’m a bit worried about posting on here because I’ve noticed some animosity towards ‘straight’ or ‘bi’ girls but I would really love some advise so here goes:

    I’m a woman in my early 20’s. I’ve been with a guy since I was 14 and we have a really open and trusting relationship. A couple of months ago I met a lesbian through a mutual friend and I have developed feelings for her. I really enjoy being in her company and find myself thinking about her a lot when I’m not with her. At first I wasn’t sure if I could have been a lesbian but I’m definately attracted to guys still so now I’m thinking I might be bi. I also find lesbian porn or just solo girl porn far more arousing than straight porn.

    I have confided in my partner and he is being really supportive. He seems to think that the only way I will know is if I am with a girl. Could it be possible that I’m having these feelings for this girl just because she is a lesbian? I’d love to know if anyone has ever been through something similar.

  438. MTG420 Says:

    Fucking dumbass lesbians. Okay “girls” if you say you are straight but mess around with the same sex or you know girls that say they are straight but like women, then they are NOT FUCKING Straight. Morons. Sad thing is that all women are bisexual, Fact! God should of just made 1 Species ( aka females) because there is 0 point of having Males if women just like to mess around with each other. Also women with kids that turn gay should have their kids taken away from them, having kids then turning gay is 1 of the most fuck up things ever. Anyway i hate lesbians but oh well i got to deal with them and the bi girls just to get laid, i want a realationship but women don’t. Well have fun dykes, don’t get too many STDs, since 1 out of 4 women have stds/hiv.

  439. Jessy Says:

    What a delightful person.

    I really dont understand all these guys hanging out on this lesbian website complaining about lesbians stealing their women, and they can’t get a relationship because all the women want other women? That’s just bullshit.

    If you walked down your street and asked 100 women their sexual preference, you would find most would say they are straight.

    Stop bloody moaning, the reason you cant get a relationship has nothing to do with there being lesbians or bisexuals in the world. It has ALOT to do with you. Its always easier to blame someone else.

    Lots of girls want relationships and not casual affairs. I have never had a casual fling.

    Also the point about gays parents turning their kids gay? I don’t think that really happens. Otherwise why did my straight parents turn me gay, and why are my sister and brother straight?

    I was born this way, there was no outside influence. No bad experience with guys, I like guys I have many good guy friends, no family member ever mis-treated me. I am happy and well adjusted. This is just me.

    Plus my mum has a lesbian friend who has two kids with her long term girlfriend (now wife). They have a boy and a girl and both kids are 14 and 16 and both are straight.

    With regard those statistics on STD’s. I wouldn’t know, but if thats the case then its not going to be a whole lot different for hetrosexuals is it!

    For the nottoosure person. If you are in a relationship and happy why do you even have to explore these feelings. What does it matter? Maybe explore them when you are single?

    With regard the comments about straight girls are straight. Well yeah and no. I indentify as lesbian, but if I met a guy and we had a connection and clicked something could happen, and the same for a straight girl.

    Basically I think the labelling thing is crap. I think that ok I might be naturally more attracted to women (lesbian) but there is always chance that I could meet a guy (bi), but I havent yet (lesbian).

    I had a relationship with a “straight” girl, it’s sorta still going really 2 years and a bit on, but education has placed us apart at the moment. Anyway she is attracted to men (straight). She had never been into a girl before me, and she doesnt have any attraction to girls now. Except she is crazy about me. We get on so well, we have the best time together and we both fancy each other (lesbian). We are inlove. Since we have been together she hasn’t been with anyone else but me (lesbian). Yet if you put her in a room (without me) full of men and women she would be checking out the guys not the women (straight).

    Luckily for me however she is a very faithful and honest type, like me so I don’t worry.

    What she says is that she doesnt feel Bisexual because she isnt attracted to any other women (meaning other than me), she is attracted to men so Straight, but shes in love with me and wants no-one else so at this moment she is Lesbian.

    That is why I don’t get the “nottoosure” person. I mean I have met people outside my relationship that I find attractive, but well I am with my girlfriend and I love her so I don’t pursue anything as my girlfriend is all I need and want. Appreciation is fine but if I want to pursue others why bother being in a relationship.

    I guess we are all different.

    Basically I just think its down to mental and physical chemistry and also sometimes outside influences like family and friends. By that I mean that if you are in an environment of people telling you that being with the same sex is wrong then many people even if they have an attraction would chose not to explore it, and if you are in an environment of acceptance then you might be more likely to pursue your feelings.

    Obviously this is not always the case some people have enough strength to follow their heart even if they know the road might be rocky and others take the safe route.

    Thats my feeling anyway, right or wrong.

    I know I keep saying it in my posts but I just think that sexualilty is on a person by person basis (meaning the chemistry between two individuals). Anything can happen.

  440. Nottoosure Says:

    Thank you for sharing that with me Jessy. It gives me a new perspective.

    I suppose the reason why I was asking for advise was not to know if I should pursue this woman I was just wondering how unique my situation was. I have never felt this way about another woman before and it has really just confused me to no end. The way I find myself thinking of her a lot and the feeling I get when she txt’s me makes me think that it’s more of a connection than just attraction. I have also been told that she finds me attractive aswell.

    I was also wondering if I could be bi or if a straight girl has gone through what I am going through but it sounds like your girlfriend has/is. I know that we should not be so concerned about labeling ourselves and I will try to practice that. I love how you said that sexuality is on a person by person basis. I have never thought of it like that before but it makes a lot of sense and is quite relevant to my situation.

    I guess time will tell…

  441. Anonymous Says:

    News flash most of these straight girls are just using you for sex or for the things they can’t get from the guys they want. Thats until they meet the right guy.

  442. Nothanks Says:

    As a straight woman, I wanted to give some advice for lesbians, be 100% sure the girl you are interested in is a lesbian (as in just come right out and ask her, or at the very least find out if she has a boyfriend/husband) before you show her attention, because otherwise, all you are doing is making a fool of yourself and making the straight girl feel uncomfortable. I had a butch lesbian crack on to me at work (she wouldn’t leave me alone). When I first met her I talked to her like I do with everyone at work and I actually thought she was someone who I could get along with as a workmate, so I asked her questions about herself (i.e. how long have you worked here?) and laughed at some of her jokes, but she must have taken that as a sign that I might be interested for some reason. After about 3 days I quickly realized she is quite self-absorbed and I think if she had taken 2 seconds to stop incessantly talking about herself and actually ask me about myself, she would have quickly found out I have a boyfriend. She also started acting somewhat controlling, by laughing at me and teasing me for showing initiative in my job, who does that? She also cracks on to all the young, attractive female casual staff (who are also straight) in the same way a dirty old man would and she is only about 30 years old. Surely all lesbians aren’t this clueless and sleazy? I hope not.

  443. Straightforlife Says:

    @ Nothanks grest post. Thank for being honest and forthright.

  444. Jessy Says:

    Hi Nothanks,

    No really we are not all like that AT ALL. Believe me I am lesbian and I have met lesbians like that myself who have presumed because I like women I am automatically going be interested. Well nope, I am not interested in ALL women, infact I probably too selective. That kinda attitude annoys the hell out of me too.

    Please dont think all lesbians are like that. We are all different and there is good and bad in all walks of life.

    On the other side of the coin though are the straight girls that think because you are lesbian you are automatically going to fancy them. That annoys me also.

  445. Amy Says:

    I am a straight girl always will be. I lesbian bitch I met at work who I became friends with because I thought she was cool tried to rape me once. Seriously, she invited me to her house after work for drinks then turns around and tries to seduce me and stuff saying she thought that I was pretty and I don’t need a boyfriend. She then try to stick me with a hair brush. She was one big ass hefer, I had to fight her off with all my might. I then threw up on her sofa and her carpet. All I know is that after that I made sure to never, ever go to another carpet munchers house no matter how friendly they might seem. Looks can be deceiving. So miss Nothanks I believe you when you say that some lesbians are self absorbed and downright mean. They’re just jealous haters.

  446. Jessy Says:

    Sorry to read about your experience, but we are not all like that. Just as every priest isn’t a pedophile and every man isnt a rapist.

    I appreciate that you hate her intensely but please dont make out that every girl is the same, because we are NOT and we are not all haters.

    I hope you reported her also if she tried to rape you to try and stop anyone else going through this ordeal.

  447. Andy Says:

    Nooooo! I’m doomed :(

    After having gone through my own slew of girl crushes, I accepted the lesbian inside me and came out to my family and friends. And that’s when I realized something: this very-inclusive club doesnt come with any sort of guide. I have no gaydar to guide me through the scarce jungles of gaydom, which inevitably lead me to fall for an adorably goofy temptress.

    Thank you for this post. Perhaps sanity can now seep into my mind and kick my infatuation with her aside.

  448. Nothanks Says:

    Thanks for the replies, that really helps, she is the first butch lesbian who I have come across and it was a negative experience to say the least. I am glad to know that not all butch lesbians are like that. On the flip side I once worked with a really nice feminine lesbian and we became friends, until she asked me out on a date and I was shocked because I had no idea she was a lesbian, I think she was hurt when she found out that I am straight and I felt really bad. I am hoping in future I can strike a good balance and not lead a girl on because that’s not fair. I tend to attract lesbians and even straight girls too so I have to be careful..any advice on how I should interact to not give a lesbian the wrong idea the next time I meet one?

  449. Jessy Says:

    Well I am a feminine lesbian myself and people rarely realise that I am gay unless I out myself.

    I don’t know what to say really, I would take it as compliment if someone asks you out, boy or girl.  I am into girls but I always take it as a compliment if a guy expresses interest in me, and I always try to politely decline.  Although when they are persistent, it’s hard to maintain that I know!
    Personally I have asked a girl out once that I wasn’t sure of her sexual preference, but we had known each other for about 6 months, and we hung out daily to the point that she waited for me to walk home and me her etc. 

    I never tried anything with her, but I was becoming increasingly attached and so I thought one day I’d asked her out, I didn’t make out that it was a date or anything.  It was to go to a fashion show as she is into fashion so I am.  Anyway, at first she said yeah she would love to go when we spoke on the phone, but to be honest I was really nervous asking her and I think she picked up on that nervous energy because about 2 days later she phoned and said she couldn’t go sorry without any other explanation but she sounded kinda nervous.  I was reeeeeeeeally disappointed and after that things were different, she was a little less friendly.  I guess she picked up on my “I am liking you a lot vibes” and she backed off.  I didn’t pursue it and I backed off too.
    My point is that I really was liking this girl, but I wasn’t sure about her, and I am too shy to just blurt things out so I was just feeling my way and well I got my answer that she obviously liked me but not quite in the same way I was liking her.  Of course I was disappointed,  but I got over it.  As would the girl that fancied you.
    Don’t change,  just be your “possibly” adorable self.  People have to be adult about things, we cannot always have everything we want in life.   Also trust your instincts, they are usually right, if you meet a girl that you think is maybe liking you a little more than you like her,  then try to give her some hints to the fact that you are not interested girls, but when saying thanks but no thanks to someone, try not to be rude about it.   

    The comments I have read on this site with regard to straight girls and lesbians I often find extremely rude and unnecessary.  We are people living regular lives, we are not socially inept or too ugly to be seen in daylight and we have feelings too.

  450. Straightforlife Says:

    How the hell could I report her when most people didn’t FREAKIN BELIEVE ME. It is like a lesbian can’t do no wrong in their eyes.

  451. Straightforlife Says:

    @ no thanks stop bing too friendly if you an because some people take that as flirt for some resason. Guys and girl no matter. I am more reserved myself nowadays just as a precaution.

  452. Straightforlife Says:

    @ Nothanks don’t blame yourself some people can be delusional.

  453. Nothanks Says:

    Hi Straightforlife, thanks for the advice I appreciate it. This is actually something I was thinking about today, that perhaps I am too nice and friendly and I smile a lot and genuinely laugh at people’s jokes, that must be giving certain people the wrong idea. I have had a lot of unwanted attention from men also because of this, I think it is time I acted neutral to all of the men I meet (especially now that I have a boyfriend), I am sure everyone here can relate to me on this point, there is always going to be unwanted male attention!!
    I will still be nice and friendly to females I meet though, but perhaps more on the neutral side to women who I know are lesbians, so I don’t accidentally lead them on.
    I feel for you Straightforlife, I hope you heal from your negative experience, I understand how damaging unwanted sexual advances can be, especially when you feel you have no support from others.

  454. Lani L Says:

    @Spychic. Those women were probably bi-curious, bi, or closeted lesbian to begin with. You’re not some god…..get over yourself. LOL

    @RealestBitch & MzCalypso……AGREED….. :)

  455. Straight Says:

    A question for all the lesbians (I am straight) why would you want to be in a relationship with a woman? They are needy, emotional and often bitchy. Every now and then you come across a really sweet girl but the really sweet, normal ones are all straight (hence why men want to date the sweet, normal ones), I have yet to meet a lesbian without emotional problems.
    Guys aren’t all that bad, I have had my fair share of awful boyfriends and a badly broken heart, all of them hurt me badly enough to never want to love again…until I met my boyfriend, who is the most loving person I have ever met in my life, so they are out there, sometimes you just have to be really patient. I had wanted to be in a relationship from about the age of 19 and I met my boyfriend when I was 29 (so that’s 10 years of searching for the right guy who would treat me the way I deserve to be treated). Every woman deserves to be treated well by her man, if you don’t believe that, then I would suggest seeing a therapist, because until you love yourself, you aren’t able to allow love in or to love anyone else.

  456. marrog Says:

    “because until you love yourself…”

    I dunno, sweetheart, the way you talk about women as opposed to men, it seems as though there’s a little self-love missing here.

    There are just as many “needy, emotional and often bitchy” women as there are self-centered, arrogant and often asshole men. People come in all types, and in any group of people – men, women, lesbians, footballers, math teachers – you will find the best and the worst of people.

    On a more practical, serious note, it’s probably true that gay and bi people today have a slightly higher than national average instance of emotional problems. That’s because when you’re gay, you’re more likely to have trouble growing up from the people around you, and that can lead to issues. The same is true of any marginalised group.

    (a) I hope to see that change, maybe not in my lifetime, but in the lifetime of the generation after mine, as it’s driven by external prejudice, NOT the people themselves. Gay people are no more prone to emotional issues than anyone else, not at birth. Prejudice, bullying and marginalisation makes them that way, and as society becomes more accepting, this gap should close.
    (b) Women don’t go for other women (or men for other men) because they think, “I like women’s personalities better as a general rule, and I want to share my life with someone with those personality traits.” They go for women because some part of them, deep down – that part that makes you like this or that kind of guy – makes them want a type of person that is always (or predominantly, or sometimes) female.

    I didn’t ask to be gay. I grew up thinking that while homosexuality was all well and good, was something that happened to other people. It wasn’t until I had been with boys and been underwhelmed that it registered for me that the way I felt about some girls was the same thing that other girls I knew felt about boys.

    Being gay isn’t something you _decide_ about yourself. It’s something you _discover_ about yourself. So discussions of “why [you would] want to be in a relationship with a woman” are sort of completely missing the point. We don’t turn to other women because we’ve given up on finding a good guy. Some part of us just _knows_ that what we want is a good woman.

  457. Jae jae Says:


  458. Jae jae Says:


  459. Jessy Says:

    Hi Straight,

    Umm well as a “lesbian” (A woman whose sexual orientation is to women). I like to date women, because I am attracted to women. Just as I am sure that you date men because you are attracted to men??

    I see where Marrog is coming from in her response, but seriously lesbian girls are no more bitchy, or needy, or emotional that any other girl.

    I guess so far I have been one of the lucky ones, as the two (ok only two) girls that I have dated (the 2nd still dating) have been really lovely, decent, happy, intelligent and well adjusted.

    We know guys aren’t all that bad. A lot of lesbians really like men, and have many male friends, myself included. We just don’t get romantically involved with men because it is not who we are. I am not sure where you were going with the 10 year wait to find the right man? Are you implying that if us girl-loving-girls wait we will eventually find a male companion? Or indeed if we are having trouble meeting the right girl, then stick it out and you will find her lol

    With regard “Every woman deserves to be treated well by her man”. Well yeah every “person” deserves to be treated respectfully by their lover” yeah??

    Back to your comment about you have yet to meet a lesbian without emotional problems. Well marrog said “because when you’re gay, you’re more likely to have trouble growing up from the people around you”. Yeah I guess it’s true.

    Having to deal with people questioning us, and our lifestyles when it’s none of their business gets really tiresome. I think most of us really, really do not give a rat’s ass about straight people and why they love women or men. I don’t care! I really DO NOT care and I don’t need to question it.

    I have to say however, that I think I am one of the lucky ones. I have a really great group of mostly straight friends, and unlike the many of the straight people commenting on here, they have accepted me and love me without judgement, and I have an amazing family that have done the same.

    So other than coming to sites such as this, and reading homophobic, rude, insensitive and sometimes simply plain dumb comments from some pretty horrid sounding people, I haven’t really experienced negativity such as this first hand.

    People just stop judging individuals that are different from yourself. Stop making out that every gay person is the same. Stop questioning who we are.

    Just stop to take the time to get to know a person before forming an opinion.

  460. Straight Says:

    God loves homosexuals just as he loves straight people, so there is no need to turn away from him. God will never accept the act of homosexuality, the bible makes this clear, but he will always love you, all he asks is that you invite him into your life.
    Here is a testimony from a former homosexual:
    “Christ is Lord, Homosexuals can be freed from homosexuality, and I’m proof of that. And believe me, it wasn’t because of homophobic behavior that I decided to go straight… it was God’s amazing love that set me free. If I based my sexuality off of how people treated me, I probably would’ve stayed stuck in the mess I was in. After all, the gay community was none-too-pleased when I left because of the amazing freedom Jesus gave me. But I’m not here to please people (love them, yes, but not please them). It only matters what Jesus thinks of me”

  461. Jessy Says:

    Marvellous !

    Cheers for regurgitating content that I have seen others copy and paste before.

    Thanks :)

  462. Katrina Says:

    I thought lesbians were trying to get people to accept them within society? Cutting out the sarcasm and bitchiness would be a good start.

  463. Jessy Says:

    No not really. I need acceptance from the people in my life, the people that matter to me. People I live with, I work with, study with, enjoy my life with, those are the people that I love and those are the people that matter to me. Luckily for me I associate with really wonderul, kind, caring, accepting, open minded, intelligent people, that look further than the person that I happen to be inlove with. They are happy to see that we love and care for each other, and that all the matters. I treat them the same – with respect.

    With religion in the world individual living their lives differently will never be accepted. None of the believers are reading from the same story book, and even if they are they all have different takes on it.

    I cannot speak for others, I am just trying to get on with my life without individuals that dont know me, or any other person here commenting on how I live it. It’s really no-bodys business, and I especially do not need to be preached too. I am athiest and its got nothing to do with sexual orientation. I just cannot buy in to religion, I believe it does more harm than good,and my personal experiences of its followers has not really been good ones. Infact I have found their behaviour shameful,and again I am not talking about anything to do with sexuality. Just that they were really not there for people in their hours of need when they themselves were members of the same church. I have seen this callous, selfish behaviour three times in my life so far and I am currently doing volunteering work for a charity and yet again I am seeing the same senario repeated over and over. A lady that has lost her sight, lives less than 20ft from her church, she worked there for I think more than 20 years as a cook. She has many illnesses and the parisoners NEVER visit. Exept to give her communion, they do the very mininum that they have to. Even the Priest’s behaviour in my opinon is disgusting. They bought material to dress the chuch, I dont the correct terms for it all, they spend £3,000 buying that, and a few blocks away there are people living rough on the streets. How ridiculous is that. I dont need to be part of this, I dont want to be part of this.

    However thats my choice and my opinion. I cant obviously speak for others.

    Plus I dont see what that has got to do with particular subject that is being discussed here.

    I dont want to be saved, as as far as I am concerned I dont need to be saved.

    Also, have you read other comments in here! I notice you say nothing about the people that are rude, crude and intolerant calling lesbians pigs etc?! I guess thats ok.

  464. Straight Says:

    Of course it is not okay for anyone to be so cruel to another person, regardless of how they choose to live their lives, I am assuming Katrina was referring to the lesbians who were talking about not being accepted into society and in the same post, act completely bitchy. Society on the whole is not fond of bitchiness in females, that I know for sure, so why would society accept bitchy behavior in someone straight OR lesbian? I understand there are lesbians who are lovely and still get discriminated against and that’s really not fair. My personal experience with lesbians I have encountered has been a negative one, BUT I have also encountered some really lovely lesbians, so really, the ones who are presenting themselves in a negative way, really aren’t doing lesbians on the whole any favors, which brings me to my next point; just because the christians you have encountered have all been bad people, doesn’t mean that all christians are like that, that’s like saying ALL lesbians are bad people (because I have only ever encountered bad ones). Yes, I have encountered some SHOCKING christians, having grown up in a christian environment and attended a christian school, but on the flip side, the most beautiful, caring, loving, accepting, forgiving, amazing people I have ever met in my life have been christian, not just in the way they treat me but in the way I see them treat others (including homosexuals). So they are out there, I am testimony to that. Jessy, it is a shame you have had such a negative experience with christians and I truly hope you encounter a christian who will love you the way that christians are commanded to love everyone, regardless of who they are or how they choose to live their lives because everyone deserves to be loved and treated with respect.

  465. Nicki Says:

    I am a straight female, married with 2 kids who recently found out a year ago that i enjoy being with females. I have no desire to be in one on on relationship with a female meaning i have no plans of leaving my husband but i do enjoy being with females. My attraction for females is a little different. i see something inside first and develope a connection before i really connect with the outside. Ive only been with 2 chicks and both are straight married chicks. I went through rough time with both. The first i am no longer involved with and the 2nd i am on and off with. I recently met a really cool chick that I really want. I assumed she knew i was flirting with her and that she was ok with it therefore giving me the impression that it would be easy to be with her however after we finally talked she told me that she is not into chicks. she saaid she kissed a few but it did nothing for her. She does not enjoy oral sex because she has never had an orgasm. I responded saying thats because u havent had it done right. I am very good at it and i feel like if she just gives me a chance to show her she’ll be ok but i guess my question is….. How do i get her to loosen up? I use to say all of the same things she has told me until i finally had my first experience with a chick and again while it didnt make me not want men it did show me that i like the exerience of being with a chick. Also, i prefer to be the giver!! I like the control of giving and i luv pleasing. Thats what gets me so freakin turned on and ready to go. So this chick i want now dont have to do anything unless she wants to. I just want to do her………..How can i make that happen

  466. Jessy Says:

    what do you mean your connection with females is a little different? “i see something inside first and develope a connection before i really connect with the outside”.

    You mean with men its purely physical?

    I am the same I am attracted to the person within before I am attracted physically (not always obviously).

    You sound like a man the way you talk about women. I guess as you say you dont want a relationship so they are just sex objects to you. So I personally have no idea how you get with this girl, because the two girls I have have been with I had am having a loving relationship.

    You said she said to you she is not into chicks, so maybe you should just leave her alone and find someone who wants casual sex with you.

  467. canthelpit Says:

    how do you pop a straight girl’s lesbian cherry??

  468. Shyygirl Says:

    What do I do if I’m a straight girl who was recently approached by someone I thought was a friend (whose a lesbian) and after I turned her down I immediately developed a small crush??? Now I can’t even walk past her without thinking about her (sexually) 0_0…Its weird

  469. Gray Says:

    who as a bi girl i could not disagree with this article more, i think i speak for most LGB when i say don’t worry straight people we don’t want you as soon as a find out a girl is straight i don’t go for her, it’s kind of like if u really liked a gay guy you’d just move on

  470. CocoJean Says:

    Wow!! I just came to let Grace Chu know, Yes, you did forget basketball. 0.<

  471. Alexinsane85 Says:

    I haven’t read all the replies here in the conversation, but I have some stories to tell myself. I’m a 26-years-old lesbian from Italy and I always fall for straight girls. When I was 21, for the first time in my life, I had the courage to tell my flatmate I was madly in love with her. She was straight, but we spent 6 months having sex on a regular basis: she broke my heart and I spent all the time getting wasted or high in order to try and find an explanation to all that was happening. After that, I had a relationship with a straight Russian girl; my current girlfriend is straight, very religious and we’ve been together for 2 years and a half now… the problem is that I have a crush on a (straight) classmate of mine now…since I told her I was a lesbian, she keeps on sitting next to me, looking for me if I’m not around, giving me weird looks and sometimes even teasing me with some strange statements..Now I don’t know what to do, she actually has a boyfriend, but the very first time I saw her my “gaydar” told me:”Hey look, here’s another lezzie!” So I don’t know whether to pop her lesbian cherry or not…

  472. Jess Says:

    Alex, You should leave this another girl alone and be faithful to your girlfriend of 2 and a half years!

  473. Alexinsane85 Says:

    Hi Jess… I know you’re right, but I can’t help it. I feel like a piece of shit deep inside, but I am having second thoughts about my relationship. We live in 2 different cities, I moved to her city so that we could meet more often, I enrolled to a course I wasn’t very interested in just for the sake of being closer to her; I argued with my parents, I’m working 3 jobs to try and be “economically independent” in order not to disappoint my parents, and then, what happened?My girlfiend moved to another city!So I’m left alone in her hometown, studying and working without having the chance of meeting her. It’s like as if I wanted to pop the other girl’s lesbian cherry in order to get a revenge on my girlfriend… I know I’m stupid and an immature asshole, but I also find comfort in telling this to complete strangers. I need to speak my mind!

  474. jess Says:

    Have you told your gf how you feel? How often do you get to be together and when you are together how is it?

    i know EXACTLY where you are coming from as I am in a distance relationship, but I am crazy, crazy in love with this girl and for now its working, we see each other as often as we can and ok I get lonely but shes worth waiting for.

    If you love this girl dont mess it up. Work it out, do what you have to do to makes things right, and sleeping with some other girl isnt going to do that.

  475. Gmm1219 Says:

    I am a lesbian and a professional model. I am unattracted and somewhat sickened by bi and straight girls yet they keep throwing themselves at my feet and looked shocked when I ignore them. Get it straight… Some of us wouldn’t touch you with a 50 foot pole. I love all the happy proud lesbians out there!

  476. Jessy Says:

    looooool ha-ha.

    I should be a professional model, and I am very attracted to bi and straight girls and lesbians (all women), they occasionally throw themselves at me and I say YES.

    Lol JOKE. Sorry it made me chuckle.

    In all seriousness though, sexuality i believe is on a case by case basis and if I have strong feelings for someone and they have strong feelings for me then I am open to exploring the relationship regardless of the labels.

  477. Wynter Says:

    How do you know if somebody you have feelings for is straight or bi when its hard enough to figure it out it out about yourself sometimes? I’m only attracted to women and some people know but those who assume I’m straight and single I don’t correct, like at work for example. Guess that means I’m in the closet?

    I have straight girls come on to me quite often, I have been in relationships with them and had my heart broken because they were physically attracted to me, not women in general. When the right man comes along or the lust wears off you’re gone. It’s to hard to say no to an incredibly hot girl whos wanting you but I know now I have to be cautious and only get romantically involved with other gay or bi women.

    A new girl started at work last year who immediately took my breath away, it was love at first sight, I had never experienced such overwhelming feelings for another person before. But she was straight and a long term relationship with a man, I couldn’t switch off the way I felt and the crazy chemistry between us I had to get to know her better despite my better judgement and strong advice from my older wiser lesbian friends.
    Turns out the girl I’m in love with is in fact a lesbian in a relationship with a man. She is in the closet too but is open about her attraction to women because being practically married society assumes she’s straight. I haven’t told her my feelings yet, that I’m madly in love with her, but I know she knows and feels the same. My lesbian friends think I’m insane and my straight friends will be shocked but when you meet the one I believe it’s worth the risk.

    Moral of the story, dont get involved with straight girls they eventually will break your heart and those who appear straight in fact my not be…

  478. Jen Says:

    I think you’ll like this,


  479. harts Says:

    I don’t like men’s personalities but I’m sexually attracted to them. I have only been in love with one person and it was a girl, but I never thought about having sex with her.

  480. Stacy Says:

    It is a no win situation for straight girls. Before I never had gay or lesbian friends. Some people joke around with me calling me a homophobe and stuff. So I made friends with this lesbian chick at school. She is so cool but not a really close friend, then she introduced me to some of her lesbian friends.This one girl starting say that I must be a lesbian, bisexual or whatever because I am friends with the chick from school. Whatever. She stares at me sometimes but it doesn’t bother me. What gives first I am homophobe now I am gay. I am neither I am just a straight chick with a friend that happens to be a lesbian. This is stupid. There alway controversy. I just don’t give a fuck what people think anymore.

  481. curiousincollege Says:

    So I’m a straight girl I’ve only dated guys and had crush on guys since i’m really young, BUT the 1st person I kissed was a neighbor of mine we we’re so young I’m 19 now in college and theres this cute girl in one of my classes that I see almost everyday and I think she is a lesbian because of the way she dresses and walk and because I seen her with her friends that dress manly. I noticed since the beginning of class and I unconsciously tried to make eye contact with her and at the same tried not to. some weeks ago I started noticing her more and I just wish she would talk to me and she did I can’t wait for her to talk to me again and make more conversation and maybe smile more because I was so shy the first time we talked and I think she was too…. the thing is I just came out of a relationship with a guy and ever since i realized i have this crush on her I’d like to try if she shows more interest but at the same time I don’t wanna hurt her feelings just because I find her cute and smart and can’t stop looking at her LOL. I deeply believe that anyone that tries a relationship with the same sex is because they want to no lesbian will turn a woman gay and no gay man will turn a straight man gay if you like someone you like them nobody makes you, so this homophobic no-life people that get on here should stop talking so much non-sense

  482. Em Says:

    I am actually the one who up until a few yrs ago knew I was different but continued in a straight relationship I’d experimented when I was younger but put it down to age and being confused I have now met another woman who is completly my world and we have been together only a few months but I’ve never felt like this before so u see 3 can happen as I was in a heterosexual relationship when we met I still haven’t come out properly only to 3 or so people but this girl has finally given me the confidence to finally admit who I am . I’m 32 and she’s 35 so were not kids and know what we want I would rather be alone than go back in the closet as that would be the easier option admitting this to myself first was the best thing I’ve ever done now for everyone else . They can like it or lump it now I am who I am x

  483. Swine Says:

    Being gay and lesbian is contagious like swine flu. I notice that a lot of woman start having fixation with other women after some type of failed relationship with a man.

  484. TheLost Says:


    this blog post from about 4 (fuck..) years is way too true!
    I just want her to like me!! meow :(
    I guess it would be easier if I was out, too, cause right now, with no one knowing that I’m gay, I will never get to know other gay girls.
    I’m such a freaking coward. and I like her so much *sigh*..

  485. mike says Says:


  486. JoeKnee Says:

    Marrog, I love you. Thanks for fighting against these closed minded people.

  487. Butchlove Says:

    Someone could tell me what is their opinion

    I want to tell my story, because it is a friday night, and I am thinking about all the fridays that we spent together… I was a straight lady, stereotypically the straightest, very very femminine, who believed in prince charming who was coming to save me from my miserable life… One day I met this girl with short hair, her smile hypnotised
    me, I went to talk to her and I found her voice so sexy, her laugh was a delight to my ears, out of the blue in the conversation I told her I was bisexual, I lied, I was so captivated by her, I had to say something…Then we became friends, until I told her my feelings, at first she was hesitant, but I eventually kissed her and we were a couple for 2 years. And it was amazing, making love was a spiritual experience, all the senses were used, it was heavenly, her fingers were so soft and delicate but yet so soft, and her smile by itself was enough to turn me on. The thing is until I met her, even the possibility of being with a women didn’t existed. I was a girl who was obsessed on a guy for 7 years, I was head over heels for him. And then I see this smile, and it opens a whole new horizon to me, that I had no idea existed. I want to thank her for every moment that I spent on heaven… I’ll always love her, she was my first everything, not only women, but relationship also. I never went out with a guy, but she put the bar so high, that I dont think that after what I had with her a Guy with satisfy me…
    She was a very soft and sweet butch, I love you T….

  488. BILLY SAYS Says:


  489. Shane Says:

    Well, Billy awesome discovery there, because YEP It`s all about that PUSSY! Women are poisonous!!

  490. stacy ann Says:

    Yeah I think some girls are hot. Maybe better looking then me but I am never going
    to be with one or eat a pussy. Nah never that. I am too straight for that shit. Need A dude with a good heart and a big Dick to keep me satisfied. The bigger the better lol. Just saying.

  491. BILLY SAYS Says:

    STACY, you are one of so many NORMAL STRAIGHT WOMEN that are left out there, and i hope someday that i can meet that SPECIAL one for me , as a STRAIGHT MAN like me that is still looking.

  492. Jessy Says:

    I havent commented here in a while, but Billy dont be so rude implying we are ABNORMAL since we are not “normal straight women”.

    Carry on looking, I am sure if you are a nice fella you will find a lady soon enough, since there is an abundance of straight women in the world.

    I wouldn’t waste your time hanging out on lesbian sites however, and Stacy Ann yes sure if you are “too straight for that shit” then your not going to be interested women or in being intimate with one – that’s kinda stating the obvious.

    Maybe you should get together with Billy 😉 lol

  493. Stacy Says:

    Stacy Ann is so blunt and funny can’t help to think she is a comedian looking for some laughs on this webpage. I think she is wasting time on this lesbian website.

  494. Rachel Says:

    Never knew this site existed. I read all the comments, It is lovely to understand that a lot of women have the strength to come out and follow their heart.

    I Appreciate it .. Totally :)

  495. straight man says Says:

    you women that are LESBIANS NOW, need to hold up a sign, SAYING LESBIAN POWER ALL THE WAY. see , we do have a lot in common, we like PUSSY.

  496. Kevin Says:

    These comments are ridiculous so let me add mine. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. If your gay it shouldn’t be about the parts, it should be about the person. I love my best friend but that doesn’t mean I want to fuck him. Maybe women are just confused these days because men are becoming less and less like real men. Either way, lesbians stop hitting on actual straight girls that don’t want anything from you other then just friends. I’m dating a girl who had a lesbian friend who brought her to a lesbian bar and just left her there because she wasn’t “into it”. Sorry for the bash but it made me kinda pissed off they these girls could just do that to her and she thought they were her best friends.

  497. Fer Says:

    @ Kevin,
    Not all lesbians are like your girl’s acquaintances!!! Do not generalize…It happens in the straight world too…But, hey it’s all about respecting people’s preferences…I’d never ask a friend of mine to any place where I know that she or he might feel akward and awfully uncomfortable…

  498. TheLost Says:

    @Kevin oh please! I agree with @Fer, please do not generalize.. it’s not our fault if we fall for straight girls >.< often we are trying our best to shut off these feelings, but we all know that that mostly doesn't work. if someone doesn't respect their best friend and acts like the girl in your example, then they were not their friend in the first place.. no matter if lesbian or not!!!!!

  499. JOE SAYS Says:

    before we know it, there will be LESBIAN PARADES across the country.

  500. kindnessfirst Says:

    There already are…I believe it is called Gay Pride.

  501. Janice Says:

    @ Kevin You post was right on the money, some straight girls are just fed up with men acting like little boys and jerks that they have turn to lesbianism. But then some of them learn the hard way that being always easier or better. I can’t speak for everybody but my bestie fell for this lesbians who was just using her for an ego trip, and was as bad as a jigillo. Treated her like trash so she went back to dude. Some people in general have no class male or female.

  502. MARK SAYS Says:

    what does a lesbian want for CHRISTMAS more than anything else? anyone? a brand new CARPET TO MUNCH ON.

  503. kindnessfirst Says:

    Mark…dude, I hate to be crude, but it is guys like you that make girls like me trendy….keep up the good work. You are great for business!

  504. Nina Says:

    ” Soon, word got around that I was open to girls who had a yen for experimentation. I spent many evenings and many cracks of dawn in the narrow beds jammed against the white walls of the tiny dorm rooms, listening to Sarah McLachlan with some girl I hoped would be moved enough to actually become my girlfriend. None of them was moved enough, or had courage enough. It was definitely a bit of a trip to lie naked with these women by night and be ignored by them in the light of day. Even now, I still get a little excited about the memories before the anger and shame and angst come rushing back.”

    What a shame, I think it is so lame when lesbos go chasing after straight girls or not so straight girls who use them just for sex and emotional comfort, and want no kind of real relationship. It makes me feel sorry for them but then again it is their fault because they go after females who can’t reciprocate their feelings. And some lesbians say that straight girls are pathetic for going after he wrong men. What ever they need to take a look in the mirror before they start talking Shit.

    @ Alexinsane85 you are a worthless piece of shit pig of a woman. Good enough to be a man. She should just leave your girlfriend if you are just going to be chasing straight girls tail all day.

  505. Nina Says:

    @Kevin I agree with you 100%. I love my best friend but I don’t want to fuck her either. To me that would be the worst thing ever, she is like my third sister. That is sooo arkward. Peace.

  506. Alexinsane85 Says:

    @Nina, well thanks for your kind words, that’s so mature of you… if you’re full of hatred, that’s your problem, not mine. Just for the record, I’m back with my girlfriend and I’m happy (and yet she’s a straight gal, too)

  507. Nina Says:

    Please don’t preach to me about being imature or whatever with going around chasing a chick while you are in a relationship with no regards to you GF. What a joke! Go look in the mirror. Congradulations on going back to your girlfriend. (I hope it last, but I doubt it). I am not hating just being honest and straight up.

  508. Alexinsane85 Says:

    Fair enough, I may have not been very mature lately, but I didn’t insult you, so I really don’t understand why would a complete stranger call me “worthless piece of shit pig of a woman”, that’s all. You can be honest as much as you like without being foul-mouthed, I wrote that post a couple of months ago, just because I needed to get this out of my system.

  509. Reese Says:

    Come on people not again, stop the fighting and leave the straight people alone. CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!
    It is annoying how a few lesbians fawn over this straight ladies like their pussies are made of gold. And @ Nina please don’t go quoting Stacy Ann Chin’s stupid, foul ass article for the guardian news paper. She doesn’t represent the all us lesbians with her predatory and self masochist tendacies.She don’t know what she is talking about and I don’t respect her. If a straight man went around writing about how he goes after lesbians when they are most vunerable after a relationship break-up and how he gets them naked in bed he would have been castrated and thrown under a bus. So Ms. Stacy Ann Chin ass should had been tossed under an 18 wheel truck. Now she is a disgusting pig of a woman as you should have stated.

  510. TheLost Says:

    what’s the matter with everyone? this is an amusing article a lot of lesbians can relate to. because the majority of girls is straight, almost every lesbian falls in love with one of them one time or another. while our head knows it’s hopeless, our heart sometimes takes a tad longer to realize that. where did all this stuff about lesbians using their straight friends come from? you do realize that you are acting fucking homophobic if you assume that lesbians rape straight girls and all this shit? Gosh..

  511. Reese Says:

    @TheLost who here is talking a bout rape?? That is just going way overboard. I know there is a bullshit and trash talking on this blog but I haven’t read anybody thinking or assuming lesbians are trying to rape straight women. I am just madd this chick was going around quoting Stacy Ann Chin’s stupid article to make generalizations about lesbian women. Like she just copy and paste the shit. Grace the spot should take down this freakin blog because it is doing more harm then good.

  512. Bridget Says:

    Let me put it in simple English… All you gays, lesbos whatever can shove it where the sun don’t shine because we heterosexuals are NOT interested in your shit. So think twice before you sick lesbos start hitting on a straight girl because nothing good will come out of it.

    I actually find it funny how you lesbos try to “turn” straight girls into being gay, I mean are you that desperate or something? Some of us in this twisted world still wanna make babies naturally you know because that’s how life should be – Man and Woman together.

    NUFF SAID. Sorry if I’ve offended anyone… Not.

    I a second that emotion.

    FU you dykes.

    Happy Gay Pride to all the nice gay dude you rule.

  513. marrog Says:

    Wow, nice… well, I woke up to a gay sandwich with hate-bread this morning.

    Bottom slice, first thing in my inbox was an article about a teenage lesbian couple shot in Texas, one of whom is dead. And then you, Bridget and, quoted, ‘Straight gurl 4 life’, putting the ‘simple’ back into ‘simple English’ and tipping mindless hate onto my phone screen as I walked to work.

    It’s nice to know that The Heterosexuals have finally chosen one spokesperson, though – We Queers are still busy speaking each for ourselves as individuals – very messy and inconvenient. I’ll definitely come straight to ‘Straight gurl 4 life’ with any questions I have for You Heterosexuals.

    Anyway, fortunately for me the meat in my gay email sandwich was from one of my members of parliament, thanking me for my input and commitment to the equal marriage campaign. Looks like pretty soon us queers will be able to marry here in Scotland. I mean, we already have Civil Partnerships of course, but the government here would really take the next step torward equality and it looks like on balance the people of Scotland are with them.

    Reassured was I, ‘Straight gurl 4 life’, Voice of All Heteros, to be reminded that here across the pond we’re engaging in rational dialogue and moving forward on the tide of acceptance and progressiveness that characterises the free world today… oh, well, the free world apart from the USA, obviously, who’re lagging behind a little.

    Anyway, you two, you do your thing – go ahead, enjoy the hating while you can. It doesn’t matter, really, because at the end of the day, you kids are on the wrong side of history. I’ve seen the future and sorry, we perverts get our way. We marry, we have kids, we have ordinary lives, and a few decades from now people like you will be scared to air their hatred in public because you’ll be mocked and ridiculed for it.

    You are impotent. Homophobes are the last great bigots and soon, like racists and sexists, you’ll be consigned to the dustbin (trash can) of society – not gone, not forgotten (we still have racists and sexists) – but marginalised and illegalised and eventually, just maybe, I’ll leave the house in the morning confident that no one is going to blink an eye when they see that I left hand-in-hand with another woman (who, let’s not forget, was married to a dude when I met her).

    Anyway, one might wonder why I’m trying to reason with you, Bridget and ‘Straight gurl 4 life’, so let me clarify: I’m not. Psyche! This message isn’t really for you. It’s for the gay and bi and questioning and hey, yeah, also the straight girls reading this and wondering why you hate us queers so much. It’s a reminder for those confused or upset young woman that in the grand scheme, you two and people like you are the losers.

    Also I really like the sound of my own voice (had you noticed?), I have an almost infinitely better grasp of the English language than you and I thought it was time to inject some education back into the debate, to set a good example for the kids. Typing out words in full is cool and sexy, kids! Aim to be as erudite and annoying as me! I get all the straight pussy with my awesome grasp of the English tongue! That is not a euphamism!

  514. freethinker Says:

    I have really enjoyed reading these posts. i lived overseas for about 18 months. i got to know a woman who i instantly developed a fairly innocent crush on. having always identified as straight- when that woman then explained her feelings for me- i managed it as best i could- not leading her on etc. nonetheless circumstances were such that we ended up sharing a flat. it was very intense as we had a cycle of mutual attraction puntuated by me pulling back- due mostly to the intensity of it. due to circumstances i never felt i had the necessary space to come to explore the situation delicately and in my comfort zone. since returning back to my country i have missed this woman so much. i feel sad that the circumstances werent right for us. i wasnt in my comfort zone (new country, culture, language, too close proximity etc)

    but i guess the point i am making here…is that for women who develop feelings for other women who dont have a history of being gay….my advice would be…take it slowly. allow the ´straight´ woman to explore this new sexuality and potential relationship in her own time. if it will work out it will work out…so dont stress about it.

    i am of the belief that we do have definite orientations but i would be with some women before some men- because of their personalities-souls-beings. it doesnt all come down to biology…at least for me.

    good luck to all of you! i hope you find the partners that will make you happy and vice versa

  515. Mike Says:

    This whole blog is a joke anybody can see that. It is supposed to be humorous but some people are anger by it and are lashing out trying ti offend other. This is just foolishness. It is not that serious.

  516. stacy ann Says:

    I also thought this blog was a joke sort of like the one where this straight girl has an accidental with a lesbian because she thought they were going out for drinks as friends. That one was hilarious. My friend told me about this site so I read it and decided to poke fun out of it. I can’t believe some people especially hetero ladies were offended by this webpage. I am straight and I wasn’t offended. I guess it is because I am very secure in my sexuality and they are not. I bet that some of the comment posters are junior high school kids looking for attention liked our friend Bridget or whatever. Please have pity for you.

  517. Fer Says:

    Straight girl crush is back again n my life after nearly 11 months of no contact, she finally gave in…she drunk dialed me…and said she could no longer take it without me…I reacted by stating it’d be best to keep it in the friend zone, because she’s straight..and I don’t want to waste my time with her experiencing with me… so about 2 weeks ago she got me drunk and I accepted that because it was fun, but that is about as far as I’d go…and then I realized that was something she has not done before and clearly she is just testing the waters I dunno why or what for, but hammering me will not get me into bed with a straight girl…It’s just not going to happen…I sort of keep my distance with her, because the attraction thing is getting too strong and I know exactly what she wants from me. And I am working on my resistance not giving in by her attractions and alluring and whatnot…She is gorgeous and we have spent time at the swimming pool and cook for each other now but it’s getting to a point where I am tempted…Can’t figure her out just yet…But completely ignoring her this past months worked out because eventhough she was drunk…she called me not the other way around…. some women are poison indeed…

  518. PAUL SAYS Says:

    since this is a lesbian blog, i do have to comment on this. yes it is certainly true, i myself seem to meet VERY NASTY WOMEN TODAY, especially where i live. i live down the SHORE, and without a doubt there are many lesbians here. i am a STRAIGHT MAN, that had been MARRIED at one time. i was a VERY CARING AND LOVING HUSBAND TO MY WIFE AT THE TIME, but she cheated on me with another woman. of course, this made me very upset thinking that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her. and at the time, i did love her very much and i was VERY COMMITTED to her as well. now going out again, is certainly like a game trying to meet a GOOD STRAIGHT WOMAN ALL OVER AGAIN. since i live down the shore like i have mentioned before, even the women that are STRAIGHT, HAVE THEIR SHIT DON’T STINK OF AN ATTITUDE , AND MANY OF THEM THINK THAT THEY ARE ALL THAT. as you can see with that kind of an ATTITUDE that many of them seem to have, it is VERY DIFFICULT FOR MANY OF US STRAIGHT MEN MEETING A GOOD WOMAN NOW. i am not certainly into the GAMES that many women are playing today, especially that i am in my LATE FIFTIES NOW. so i am one of many men that certainly do want to meet a good woman today, and now i just go out and hope for the BEST. PEACE.

  519. Reese Says:

    @ Paul Blah blah blah. At lot of men walk around like their are high and mighty and God’s gift to women, that wehy some women turn or pretend to be lesbians or bisexual. It goes both ways.



  521. marrog Says:

    You don’t understand why a lesbian-related post on a lesbian blog might have mostly lesbian commenters? Er…

  522. Rachel Says:

    @marrog : lol.. well said :)

  523. Rachel Says:

    @marrog : lol.. well said :)

  524. MIchelle Says:

    @ who ever said there are DYKES EVERYWHERE half of these posters are fake lesbians and males pretending to be women for kicks and jolly. I doubt there would be any straight girls here except for the ones who are offended and are here to bash this site. They have better thing to do with their time and so should you.

  525. Reese Says:

    @ Marrog you are too much. That last comment was hilarious.

  526. CONFUSED SAYS Says:

    what do GAY WOMEN like to eat? anyone? the answer is FISH.

  527. dennis says Says:


  528. Reese Says:

    To Dennise or dennis get the fuck off this site.

  529. Gabriella Says:


  530. Fer Says:

    @Gabriella why hate bash on a dyke site!!! ?? I don’t get people if you may be called that!! Who gives a number 2 what you and that pea size brain of yours think anyway have a nice life in your bored ass microscopic size little world!! Same to anyone else who come to this site to insult and hate on us…Hybrid-Magnificent humans…

  531. why is this? Says:

    all lesbians are the biggest losers, and always will be.

  532. Rachel Says:

    Losers are individuals who behave like one, cant make it a category of people. Lesbians are as human as anyone. Now, if you don’t get it, there is no use explaining.. you just haven’t got the brains to get it.. Feel Sorry for you!

  533. aninymous says Says:

    RACHEL, you are a loser.

  534. Rachel Says:

    I might be , in your eyes .. But that doesn’t affect my life :)

  535. anonymous says Says:

    all you lesbians were certainly dropped on your heads at birth, what a shame.

  536. Rachel Says:

    lol.. I am so glad you got to witness our birth :)

  537. Fer Says:

    All straight or not straight people that come in here to bash and make derogatory remarks of hatefulness on lesbians…Wondering…if you ever have children and one of them he/she turns out to be genetically homosexual would you still love him/her the same? Or will your shallow minded perspective on diversity, turn your back on them? Stop hating …you never know what life has stored for you…Karma is a bitch only when you are one …so watch out!!

  538. Rachel Says:

    I 2nd that

    Karma is a bitch only when you are one …so watch out!!

  539. anonymous Says:

    all of you LESBIANS should hold up a sign and parade up and down each street, saying LESBIAN POWER ALL THE WAY.

  540. Rachel Says:

    We might parade or might decide not to.. Doors are closed for your suggestions.. Why are you being such a Prick.. LIVE AND LET LIVE !!

  541. Justa Thought Says:

    About some lesbians thinking any straight woman can be turned gay.
    Do you think you can be turned straight by the right guy? No?
    Well you are trying exactly the same thing that every guy has tried on you. Trying to convince someone to change their sexual preference for you.

  542. marrog Says:

    Yet again, I think you’re getting it the wrong way round. I never ‘turned’ any straight women. I just met a few women who ‘turned out’ not to be straight after all!

    And if a guy wants to hit on me that’s totally fine, as long as he shows some respect and when I say “Dude, stop hitting on me,” he stops – same as I’d stop when anyone, male or female, said that to me. Mutual respect is key. Other than that, people should be able to bark up as many wrong trees as they like!

  543. jane Says:

    Sure because all of us women have lesbian sleepovers with our friends. What a joke of an article. Most women have never even made out with another women let alone give in to sex. Most women are straight and I will never change. Disgusting.

  544. wandadickerson Says:

    Hi, I don’t know what iam feeling but i do no that what i want and that is two big large white women (lesbians) to make love to me. I can’t put it any way els i want it so bad that i can taste i don’t know how about doing this or meeting people. I just know that this is what i want. Iam 5 4 inch tall iam about 115 pounds and iam black women of the age of 55. I love to have women beween 60 and 80 of age i don’t where to start at it hard to find lesbians women to do the things that i want. But i know there are couples out there. So if you can give me some tips on where to start at i be so happy because this is teiring my inside apart.

  545. Dhaos Says:

    What is wrong with you freaks? You talk about heterosexual relationships like they’re a disease! I respected lesbians in the past and considered them normal people, but every time I read whacky comments like this, it gets a little bit harder to feel that way. You’re talking about casually snatching girls from relationships they’re already in — and even if that doesn’t bother them, that’s sure to hurt the guy she was with. I was in that same situation. And it ruined my first relationship. But I never held it against you all.

    You all need to fix your bent-out-of-shape attitudes and approach romance with some sense in your heads, and acknowledge that lesbianism isn’t right everyone nor is the pursuit of it an excuse to destroy a relationship. I can’t believe some of the prejudiced, downright hateful things I’ve read here.

    I’m still just baffled. I considered you people while you considered me some kind of wasted organism.

  546. anonymous says Says:

    RUG MUNCHING WOMEN are everywhere nowadays, and spreading.

  547. marrog Says:

    Oh I do hope so, anonymous! We could do with a bit more homosexuality about the place these days!

  548. joe Says:

    marrog go suck a dick oh wait your not normal like most girls.

  549. marrog Says:

    At least I can distinguish between your and you’re :-)

  550. Priscilla Says:

    Lesbians are VERY persistent and OPTIMISTIC that every straight girl they like is a secret lesbian. Saying no 1, or 5 or even 20 times may not be enough. This one soft butch lesbian was trying to convince this straight girl 5 rows away in a lecture hall class room before class to have sex with her, and everyone in the room could hear them. The straight girl said she tried it and didn’t like it. The lesbian just wouldn’t give up even after class started though. She kept try for the WHOLE term.
    It was so lame and it is because people like her that alot of us straight women are homophobic and paranoid in think that gay people are trying to turn us lesbians.
    So ridiculous.

  551. Dave Says:

    all lesbians are the armpit of society, and you should go back in the closet where you belong.

  552. Evad Says:


    maybe you should go back in ur momma’s womb where you belong.

  553. Dave Says Says:

    you too, you filthy diseased infested pig.

  554. lindsey Says:

    I got passed the straight woman phase a long time ago, if im honest i hate straight women, but not as much as they hate each other.

  555. lindsey Says:


    Your envy of lesbians really shows, why do men like you have it in for lesbians so much. For all its worth this article is shit, you can keep your straight woman all to your self. Men like you make me sick, your the man which means you have a massive choice of women in comparison to what i have. Why carnt you just get on with being a straight man instead of reading online articles about lesbians and then writing hate, its other straight men who are more likley to run off with your girlfriend.

  556. lindsey Says:


    What uni did you go to? Was it in the UK?

  557. Sandy Says:

    I once had a mistake date with a lesbian once. she was a friendly coworker of mine. When she told me she had feelings for me over dinner, I said wow um okay. Then I went to the bathroom and bolted out the front door. I don’t know if she was serious or just trying to jerk me around. The next day at work I lied And said I got sick in the bathroom and took a cab home. I also told her I only liked her as a friend not offense. I think that lesbians have to be more honest and straigtht foward with straight women when try to pursue. If not bullshit like this will happen. I was dumfounded and caught off guard.

  558. Jessy Says:

    Hi Sandy,

    Sometimes its really nerve-wracking when you meet a girl and you make a connection, but you are not sure if she has the same feelings.. Its not always easy to just come out with it, not everyone is full of confidence.

    Anyway it seems she was being really nice, going out to dinner and just telling you how she felt. Doesnt sound like she pounced on you, but then i dont know. Running out was a bit of a nasty thing to do. You could have just said you were embarressed and you didnt expect that, and that you really just like her as a friend. You could have been straight forward too?!

    Anyway I dont mean to sound like I am giving you a hard-time, just saying everyone has different ways of dealing with things and sometimes we get it wrong.

    I hope you too have managed to stay friends :)

  559. cool Says:


    Most girls are straight not bisexual so suck a bag of black tits.

  560. Jessy Says:

    Hi Cool?

    That was very insightful – thank you.

  561. Magia Says:

    I came out to my straight girl crush a couple of days ago. She was cool with me being bi and we’ve hung out/chatted since.
    But now I feel I need to tell her that I like her but don’t want to ruin our friendship and don’t want to freak her out.
    She gives me the impression that she might also be bi/bi curious.
    I know I should probably wait till we hang out properly and she’s had time to process the fact I’m bi, but I’m so impatient.
    I just want to be with her all the time. FML

  562. Magia Says:

    So I dropped a (I think) huge hint that I was in to her.
    I sent her a pic that she’s just added as a profile pic and said “killing me with this”.
    Anyway I think I’ve scared her off 😐 although I hope not.

  563. joe Says:

    I hope you did scare her off if a girl is straight your not changing her mind. Find a girl that looks like a guy dyke. Not too many lipstick lesbians around unless you like in porno land even then “gay for pay”

  564. AbsolutelyTheTruth Says:

    lesbians are certainly the cause that straight women leave their boyfriends and husbands for other women, and is is so very sad.

  565. AbsolutelyTheTruth Says:

    lesbians are certainly the cause that straight women leave their boyfriends and husbands for other women, and it is so very SAD.

  566. Marian Says:

    @AbsolutelyTheTruth Lesbians are not the only reason straight women leave their boyfriends and husbands. Sometimes the way some of the these guys treat there women is despicable and is also the cause. I hate when some men don’t admit their mistakes and own up to their shit. Then blame everybody else for their problems like they are innocent. My ex hubby use to be a drunk and walk around barking mad and blame me for everything. That is why I went on to divorce him and have a lesbian relationship. I am just speaking for myself. Although I am not a lesbian but I find a lesbian relationship more pleasant. Look in the mirror, and check yourself.

  567. linda Says:

    I think it was none other than the beautiful Patricia Wheaton (Debra in the TV show everybody loves Raymond) who concluded that if a woman is beautiful , leggy, shaplely and has a massive chest that can’t get anyone’s eyes off of her, and she is packing a clitoris so large that she can render any woman helpless as she screws her senseless, the fact that the girl is a lesbian will render any and every woman helpless against her and make them hers for the asking. “And that goes for any straight woman, too” with that statement I tend to agree and now the only question is where can i , a straight woman , find this girl?”

  568. Straight Christian Girl Says:

    How did I end up here? I read ALL the comments, and was deeply entertained. Wow!!

  569. Straight Christian Woman Says:

    Damn – I can not get this stuff out of my head now. I can not erase what I have read. I was born and raised in San Francisco/Bay Area. Being Gay and Lesbian is normal here. You never know who is what (and keep your mouth shut) sort of thing. My brother went to a private High School in the Haight/Asbury and my Father made sure he dated women to prove he was not Gay. We were the few very conservative Christians growing up here (Pentecostals UPCI). I am now having to deal with Lesbians all of a sudden. And this article is very informative. I was in a nervous panic attack recently after for the first time being in close proximity (dealing with this person) to one that I was aware of. It totally caught me off guard. I now consider my self open-minded and no longer a fundie from my upbrining.
    I would be lying to say I did not find this stuff interesting/funny (except for the rape scenes or potential ones). I just never thought and knew this stuff was right under my nose. Yeah, my girlfriends and I would joke about being lesbian when we would go out (back in the day) and hold hands for protection. Or hit the gay club once (so guys would not hit on us). But it was all in fun. This stuff I am reading is a whole other reality.

  570. Steve Says:

    To Marian, not all of us men are bad by the way. And i am very sorry that you had a very bad husband that treated you very mean. But now with many of us innocent Straight Good Men out there is a problem for us since many women are Gay And Bi since many of us men are having a very hard time meeting a Good Straight Woman, and many of us that are good certainly know how to treat women well and with Respect too. It is a Shame that we have to Suffer for the bad ones, and i certainly agree that they should be Punished for it. Laws on Domestic Violence should be a lot more Strict to protect the women.

  571. TM Says:

    I am in love with a lisbian women.We have been together for 12 years.But she is still hung up on her sexuallity.This is because her lover is far away.advice

  572. butch Says:

    how do you think the lady, I think Russian girls big sissy and they are very suitable to us girls and Butch Tomboy from the US and Europe ?

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