 | Vibram Fivefingers are A-OK: A rebuttalBy Grace Chu |
Editor’s note: While other sites debate things like DADT and same sex marriage, Grace The Spot readers debate what really gets lesbians riled up: cuddling, labels and now… a shoe brand called Vibram Fivefingers. Guest Grace @yodelmachine rebuts Grace Fox’s post against Bigfoot shoes.
When I saw the recent GTS post about Vibram FiveFingers, I had no choice but to respond. As a gay lady and a VFF wearer enthusiast, I take issue with the idea that our proud gayelle community should be outright banned from sporting them.
I have received my fair share of abuse for wearing VFFs. “KILL THEM WITH FIRE,” says one friend. Another bitterly calls them my “hobbit feet”. (She means it as an insult, but I think hobbits are pretty cool.) I’ve taken more abuse after three months as a part-time VFF enthusiast than I have over seven years as one of those evil gays.
But I stand by my VFFs, because I have personally experienced many of the benefits they claim to provide. However, as GTS commenters Grumpy and Jess G note, VFFs are mainly used for “barefoot” running, water sports, climbing, hiking, and other outdoor-type activities. I swear by mine for running, but I don’t wear them for everyday wandering around. Only the crunchiest of hippies should do so. I agree with you all: they look stupid with jeans! They look fine with hemp ponchos and corduroy cutoffs but only because those things look stupid on everyone anyway. (Duh.)
So for people who want to simulate barefootness in everyday, walking-around-town life without looking like a fool, there’s VivoBarefoot, who make some actually cute shoes with very thin soles and plenty of room in the toe box for your feet to spread. Many of their women’s designs are arguably cuter (and gayer!) than our beloved Chucks, too.
But if you are a friend, partner, family member, or otherwise must be around someone who sports VFFs, here’s my advice for you: Try not to think of them as shoes. Try to think of them as socks, or as regular feet that are weirdly colored. If you try to think of them as shoes, the cognitive dissonance will probably drive you into a drooling, dithering state of dementia. I don’t know why this approach works, but my girlfriend started trying to think of them that way and now she’ll even be seen with me when I’m wearing them. IN PUBLIC. I know! Either she loves me way more than I thought she did, or her method actually works.
So have a heart and give it a shot. Your favorite VFF owner will thank you. I hope that with this new knowledge, the vibrant (ahem) community of GTS readers, can go a little easier on those of us who sport the crazy creepy gorilla hobbit shoes. Lesbians are a people known for our tolerance, after all.
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May 6th, 2010 at 6:42 am
Your emotional plea tugs at my heart strings but I stand by my original assertion that these are a pox upon our communal house. However, I will refrain from encouraging others to rip them off of your feet. Can we openly mock though? Would you deny us that simple pleasure?
I wish that Vibram would give me a free pair and then I would wear them for a month and document my “journey” for Grace the Spot. Ha!
May 6th, 2010 at 7:55 am
It’s a deal. You call off the shoe-grabbing mob and I’ll allow a reasonable degree of mockery. While you all are trudging along with your shin splints and your plantar fasciitis, mock away! If you can catch us, that is.
And, be careful what you wish for, Fox. I have a spare pair.
May 6th, 2010 at 8:09 am
I don’t care, me and my gender confused sexuality aside, still think these are must haves … well, at least as soon as I can afford the $200 they cost down under
May 6th, 2010 at 9:05 am
I think they’re beautiful! Perfect for walking barefoot in summer without hurting your feet. I’ve just bought a pair of vibram fivefingers and they fit like gloves, but they’re definitely not cheap!
I get a lot of “Ooh, what are those?” from people. Definitely worth wearing for friend making when you’re out and about
May 6th, 2010 at 9:23 am
It seems the sympathizers are coming out of the woodwork! Come out, come out, wherever you are!
May 6th, 2010 at 9:46 am
I stand by my offer. If the Vibram people are reading this RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I will accept a free pair (women’s 9.5) and I will wear them casually for one month and keep a journal of my feelings and the responses of people on the street. Everyone wants to convert a lesbian, right? Until that happens, I’ll be a mocker.
May 6th, 2010 at 11:12 am
How about just buying a pair and trying them for a week? You’ve above that freeola sucking up, right? Throught so. You *really* need to try a pair on to fit rahter than just say you’re a 9.5 and buy a 9.5. I take 9 shoes yet fit 8 in VFFs. It’s odd, actually; I’ve had them for months and openly mock people ‘researching’, getting fitted for, and buying any trainers above £30 as they’re like Apple products: 90% hype, 5% material goodness, 5% copying what’s been before. VFF, however, are 95% copying what’ve evolved to perfeection over millions of years: our feet.
May 6th, 2010 at 11:23 am
No, I will not pay money for them. I must hold tight to my values! I’ve never gotten anything free as a result of a blog post so I feel completely comfortable accepting a free pair of ugly shoes which won’t happen anyway.
May 6th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Oh Grace Fox you know you will not wear these even if they are free since you won’t even wear shoes that do not match your belt; or let me wear shoes that do not match my belt even though I try
May 6th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
My first exposure to FiveFingers was a few years ago working at a summer camp. Once one person had them, they spread like wildfire amongst the staff.
I never had a pair, but in such a job or if you’re a generally outdoorsy person who wears them for hiking, slacklining, creek playing, etc. I say go for it. But with jeans, just to go out and about…no way.
@GraceFox and @Grace Fox’s gf….surely Fox has a black belt? We can find her a pair that are solid black… Really, I just want to see pictures so I can laugh at what I predict would be a continuing dislike for them…
May 6th, 2010 at 4:17 pm
But, GF’s GF, here’s the question: will she let you wear shoes that don’t match _her_ belt??
May 6th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
As I said before, I think they look kinda cute. Are they at least comfortable and worth the moneys?
May 7th, 2010 at 7:24 am
When my gf called me yesterday (before commenting), she said, “I don’t know…those shoes might help my feet.” And with those words, 17 years of bliss nearly came crashing down. Ultimatums were delivered and now we’ve worked through it.
Yes, I do have a black belt but would not wear a belt with these shoes. If a pair comes my way, I’ll take whatever color is handed to me and live with the consequences.
May 7th, 2010 at 11:49 am
She has options, Fox! Check out VivoBarefoot – for real. Same benefits, same posture, same theory; fewer toe compartments and freaky gorilla feet. NO they are not paying me to plug them so hard.
Heh.
May 7th, 2010 at 3:39 pm
Blue Sprints look great with jeans! What are you talking about?! ;-P
I’m a VFF convert who’s never going back. I wear them all the time, including at work. The rest of the time, I’m a non-granola, meat-eating, toe-the-line type of techie. I honestly don’t care what anyone else thinks of how they look, I think they’re awesome. I get more people coming up to talk to me about them.
May 12th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Me love VFF! They fixed my foot pain, and I am that dork that wears them around town and to work, sans hemp or ponchos. I happen to work at the Forest Service, so it’s not as strange since most of us dress pretty casually. I also do Crossfit and run in them. They’re just so freakin’ comfortable, and really are a great conversation-starter.
Mine are a very neutral grey color, so they don’t stand out too bad. My wife’s sister’s boyfriend (yeah, I just wrote that) has a pair, and he is far more flamboyant than I, for his are fire engine red.
Give ‘em a try if you’re tired of experiencing foot pain, or just want to remember what it feels like to walk barefoot all day long without the splinters and broken glass.