May 24, 2010
 | (Semi) open thread: your crazy circus sex stories, in the comments pleaseBy Grace Yip |
It’s Monday and I am bored because I go on vacation in a few days and I’m totally mentally checked out and Grace Fox wants us to entertain her, because she’s sitting in a police station. So riddle us this….
What have you wrecked or broken during crazy circus sex?
I’ll go first: bookcase. Ikea bookcase.
You?
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May 24th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
I’m outta the police station but I still love a good story. Wish I had one.
May 24th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
Loft bed. Ikea loft bed.
It was less exciting as it sounds, though, as nobody went toppling tragically to the earth.
May 24th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Computer keyboard. Keys flew everywhere. And afterwards we couldn’t put them all back in. Oh well.
May 24th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Headboard…one that was attached to a wall
May 24th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Shower rod, curtain and soap tray. Not ours it might be noted.
May 24th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Sink. in a public bathroom. : )
May 24th, 2010 at 3:25 pm
BWAAAHAHAHAHHAAAAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet there are more Ikea furniture stories out there. The broken sink is HOTT.
May 24th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
my friend’s futon. didn’t know that metal frames could break.
May 24th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I have two from when i was in school: A couch, once, in the grad student lounge (“Well, we were sitting on it, and it just broke…” It was not even sex, it was, uh, foreplay.). Another time, nothing was broken, but I felt a bit humiliated. When I was dating a guy in college, we did not have a place for “alone time,” (we both lived in the dorms) so we had sex in his car. This was fine until we got an audience in the form of a cop, who, thankfully, simply told us to “get dressed and move along.” (insert bad pun about “getting off” here).
May 24th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
For me, getting spankings in my panties while tied down to a bed can be a little like sex. It’s a turn-on thinking about it afterwards. i teased and taunted a lesbian friend just a little too much trying to get what i wanted. i wasn’t tied up or ready when she picked up a nearby board and gave me such a hard spank that i went crashing through some sliding doors with a loud shriek knocking the doors off the tracks and ripping out one of the guides.
May 25th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
That would be all four legs of the bed. At once. Just after it crashed to the floor with an e-x-tremely loud thud, my ‘concerned’ housemates (yes, plural) came running in to see what the death-noise was about. What else to do but laugh as hard as they did? Alas, she did not see the funny side, and we didn’t see eachother again.
May 25th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
i broke my girlfriend’s windshield with my foot when we were fucking in her car….she let me finish and didn’t tell me it had happened until the next day (was a bit too drunk and distracted at the time to notice)
May 25th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
my high school girlfriend and i were making out in her parked car, and when things started heating up we flew into the backseat. well one of us must have knocked the shifter into neutral while were changing positions and her car rocked right over a little cliff. you’d be surprised what a 6 foot drop can do to an axle.
May 25th, 2010 at 10:50 pm
i used to work as an emt. my partner and i were on call on a slow night, and decided to make use of the stretcher in the back of the ambulance. it was parked in the fire station with the doors open, and somehow we managed to knock loose the latch that holds it in place. the whole stretcher slid out and crashed to the floor, breaking the rear axle (and causing several suspicious bruises…) somehow we managed to explain away that one without getting into trouble.
May 26th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
I think someone needs to contact IKEA and tell them their furniture is faulty.
May 26th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Nothing yet but I’ve just bought a bed, bookcase and side table from Ikea, so I’m sure it’ll happen soon *twiddles thumbs*
May 26th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Ha ha ha “Dykea”
May 26th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
I got my ankle stuck between two seats at a movie theater and when we tried to change positions I sprained it or something. I had to be carried out, so I didn’t realy break anything… other than myself.
May 27th, 2010 at 10:35 am
@jackie …um, I am picturing a very steamy Thelma and Louise moment with the 6-foot drop over the cliff.
May 28th, 2010 at 4:47 pm
It’s not so much that we broke anything but…
I was trying to be all Rico Suave- like and I had her bend face down over the end of the bed so her legs were hanging off and I was between them on my knees underneath her…you know, eating at the y…and I was succeeding on my smooove moooves mission until suddenly she started sputtering and choking.
Um, at that crucial moment, she inhaled and gagged on a big wad of my dog’s fur stuck to the comforter.
I have a husky.
May 28th, 2010 at 6:25 pm
I’ll add to the *shocking* trend-Ikea platform bed. We completely broke the headboard off from the rest of the frame. Oops? Or awesome? Being self-sufficient lesbians we were able to repair it the next day, but our fits of laughter made the repair take a lot longer.
May 30th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
The bathroom sink. Which we then gingerly sort of place back on the shelf-like indentations on the wall…and then managed to blame my roommate the next morning when he leaned on it while brushing his teeth.
June 10th, 2010 at 3:24 pm
The futon, we fell on it during one of those sudden “omgwtfFUCKMEE” moments. We fell really ungracefully and hit the edge, which somehow broke the frame (it was metal). Which threw us into the floor, she grabbed the nightstand and broke the lamp, and I slammed into the coffee table, which smashed one of my stereo speakers (and I banged my head really hard). EXCELLENT SEX ENSUED.