 | Pride? Forget it.By Grace Fox |
I’m not going to Pride this year and informing my friends of this decision has been like coming out all over again. I sit them down, take a deep breath and say, “There’s something that I have to tell you.” and they fidget nervously like I’m about to tell them that I finally offed my crazy gay neighbor who insists on vacuuming the mulberries out of his lawn at 5a.m. I make the big reveal and they let out a sigh of relief because they’ve been squirreling away bail money for some time now and then simply ask, “Why?” Well, here are my top 10 reasons:
10. None of my close friends are going this year. They will all be out of town and I’m not looking for new friends.
9. The novelty has worn off. I’ve been out and proud for 20 years (yeah, I know I’m old) and I’ve been going to Pride festivals for a long time.
8. My kids don’t need anymore Frisbees, key chains, Dum Dums, pens, temporary tattoos or condoms.
7. Last year, my kids got temporary Target tattoos and then the sun burned the Target symbol into their innocent little arms. Yes, they were branded in every sense of the word.
6. I’ve run out of creative ways to tell the HRC people to back off and stop asking me for money and trying to get me to sign things.
5. Why should I buy a $10 corn dog and it while sitting in the itchy grass when I can buy a six pack of Rogue Dead Guy and drink it while sitting in a nice Adirondack chair on my patio?
4. Parking. Need I say more?
3. I don’t like crowds. I don’t like crowds full of sweaty people. I don’t like crowds full of sweaty people wearing rainbow bandanas.
2. The parade has become tedious and there are not enough half-naked dancing Go Go boys and too few drag queens and kings. However, if you are into pandering politicians and open and affirming churches – your Pride cup runneth over. Not that I don’t appreciate the support, it’s just that they don’t bring the camp.
1. I’m too tired to deal with the high hassle factor of pride which is computed using the nine factors mentioned above. So, while everyone is showing their pride at the festivals, I’ll do my part for visibility in other places, like maybe an air conditioned movie theater.
What about you? Are you going?
Receive blog posts by email
June 22nd, 2010 at 8:32 pm
I’m right there with you. Stopped going to Pride in London when they started charging an entry fee to the party, which always used to be the fun part when you’d survived walking London’s streets. Bollocks to them if they think I’m paying to hang around in a park listening to bloody awful Hi-NRG disco. Harrumph.
June 22nd, 2010 at 9:35 pm
Nope – Pride is so commercialized that I don’t really like taking part in it. I appreciate the support from so many places, and I see it’s importance for showing people who aren’t out and/or proud what a large and diverse community we have. But, I don’t like the waste of all the useless crap corporations hand out in an attempt to buy our loyalty because they’ve realized how much spending power queers have.
The roots of pride for me are the Stonewall riots and other such fights that queer people have fought over the years – I wish that Pride parades would incorporate appreciation for where we’ve come from as well as how far we need to go in their festivities. The NYC Dyke March, for example, is one of my favorite non-Pride pride activities.
Also, more nekkid dancers can never hurt
June 23rd, 2010 at 8:15 am
I didn’t go. I’ve been to a Pride once, in Iowa City, but to me it’s a bit of that “feeling alone in a crowd” mentality. I’m sure there are some people who can go alone, meet lots of new queer friends, identify girls to make out with, etc., but for me it’s just sort of sitting there, watching, feeling the social anxiety creep in. I’d end up in a corner calling my girlfriend to calm me down.
June 23rd, 2010 at 8:56 am
I went because my partner really wanted to see Boston Pride, and still had the ideas of grandeur that she had a few years ago. I think she’s starting to come over to my point of view–it was basically all newly out teens and college kids.
And I never got into the “IN” crowd (not that I really want to…), and she’s a transplant that spent her first 2 years here in grad school, so didn’t have the chance. Around here, the block parties are no fun if you’re not with a huge group of friends because no one wants to talk to you, and you’re just in the way. It’s pretty boring.
We probably won’t go next year unless a good number of other people we know are going as well. And that won’t happen.
June 23rd, 2010 at 10:36 am
I kinda want to go but I already know Tampere pride will suck reeeally bad. I mean everything costs ridiculously much and there won’t even be a parade.. So there’ll probably be like ten people there. Maybe I’ll go to Helsinki pride if I can convince someone to come with me, maybe.
June 23rd, 2010 at 2:47 pm
I’ve felt the same way about Pride for a little while now…I’ve been to a number of parades in the almost thirty years I’ve been out! (wow…is it REALLY thirty years?? How’d THAT happen??!?).
But my girlfriend is relatively newly out, so I thought it’d be fun to “be gay” with her at Sacramento Pride…and it WAS!! Our celebration is usually small and pales in comparison to the huge events in SF, but this year it was really great!! A reasonable-length parade (about one hour), and a lovely celebration near the Capital with lots of really great entertainment. My thanks and congratulations to the Sacramento Pride folks…they did a hell of a good job this year!!
June 23rd, 2010 at 3:09 pm
[...] Even if there was a parade here, Grace Fox raises some persuasive points for why Pride can be a drag. Then it came to me – why not throw a Pride house party? It’s the perfect solution. So [...]
June 23rd, 2010 at 4:02 pm
I’m with Grace Fox here I think, been out for 24 yrs so home with cold beer is better. Especially since nearest events are going to be either in Burlington, VT or Canada. I’d be going solo, so I also agree with those that say it’s not the same when not with a group.
June 23rd, 2010 at 4:23 pm
I am also not going to pride. I’m an introvert so crowds basically exhaust me. I went to pride in Minneapolis a few years back and it was nice to see so many people (gay, straight, bi, and everywhere along the spectrum) who are supportive. I guess it’s just not my scene though. I hope everyone who does go has fun though!
June 23rd, 2010 at 4:54 pm
My thoughts can be found at “Stuff Lesbians Like Part 42: Threatening to boycott the Pride Parade due to “X” but eventually showing up for the festivities.”
I am DONE-ZO with Pride. I say this every year. I dread going every year. I come close to heatstroke every mommafugging year. I am too old for this shit.
I do not want to go….but the Stanley Cup will be making its way through Boystown and that might be THE excuse for me to show up this year.
June 23rd, 2010 at 6:17 pm
I’ve never once – despite years of enthusiastic participation, mostly here in NYC – picked up a woman at Pride weekend. So I’m staying out of the sun, avoiding the drunks and saving my cash this year.
June 23rd, 2010 at 7:29 pm
I’ve only been out for just over a year, so last year’s Pride was my first as an out gay woman, with my girlfriend who came to Toronto from Houston to join me. I walked in the Dyke march, made my way through wall-to-wall gay people after watching the Pride parade and just took in all the gay-ness. My girlfriend won’t be joining me this year, but I am looking forward to Cyndi Lauper appearing on the same day as the Dyke march. I’m sure I will get tired of all the commerciality (commercialness?) of it all, but the freebies last year were pretty exciting for me. I am building up a good supply of rainbow flags, wrist bands and t-shirts.
June 25th, 2010 at 6:07 pm
I am not going in Houston, either, but for different reasons which are listed on my blog post for the day.
June 25th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
90 degree forecast + 2 small children = disaster
When our older son can help the younger one into his assless chaps before affixing his own nipple tassels, we’ll be there. Until then, we’ll be celebrating in our own, air-conditioned way.
June 27th, 2010 at 11:31 pm
Oh, thank God! I am a closet non-Pride attendee. It’s good to know I’m not alone. I was just thinking today that my 4 year old daughter has never been to Pride and that she will grow up not knowing anything about naked people dancing in the street. I did take my son when he was 4 and he still remembers the drag queen in the dunk tank dressed like Wonder Woman. That made an impression.
July 9th, 2010 at 12:00 am
I would like to update you on my “Pride Parade” this summer…
I will be traveling to parts of Iowa, Wisconsin, and Illinois (before I move for good) and drinking beer at various breweries, brewpubs, and beer bars. I will then tell someone I am a lesbian…and then I will order another beer.
HAPPY PRIDE!
August 1st, 2010 at 2:41 am
My Pride is about showing support for the cause, and showing support for human rights & equality. Attendance numbers, volunteer numbers all show TPTB that sexual & gender identity is still a human rights issue at home and abroad, and the mass and visibility speak volume.
Beer sales, merchandise sales, donations all contribute to a vibrate Pride event that can achieve its cause while relying less on corporate donations. And we need to remember that many of the corporate partners are there because of the queer members within the corporations helping to move the needle – why do many people treat corporates as enemies?
I met many people this year who have been out for years, who may have helped to create Pride in their cities, and only to get re-energize in participating in Pride because their local Pride was at risk of not happening. Sometimes we don’t treasure things we have until we are at risk of losing them … unfortunately …