 | Stuff Lesbians Like 45: Gay PornBy Grace Yip |
We’ve all watched porn. The standard made-fer-womyn-by-womyn lezzie porn or perhaps “straightzie” porn for those who don’t know any better (“straightzie” porn = “lesbian” porn for straight men starring bored long-nailed stillettoed women with oddly-hued orange skin from tan-in-a-can sporting inflated boobulars that point in wayward directions). Some of you may have been exposed to really fnarked up shizz like alien porn, barnyard animal porn, little people porn, Ron Jeremy porn (eww), Jenna Jameson (ech) and themed porn, like “Pirates.”
The aforementioned types of porn can be succinctly described with one of the three following phrases:
- Borrrrrrriiiinnnggg. Or fuuuugggggllly. (lezzie porn)
- FAKE!! in so many ways, particularly the unenthusiastic moaning/grunting (straightzie porn)
- WTF!? (fnarked porn)
Ultimately, they can be summed up with a mere “meh” or “gross”. Perhaps this is the very reason why lezzies seem to gravitate towards gay porn. Although we have to deal with close-ups of sweaty schlong’n’balls, at least the men are beautifully ripped and can’t fake an orgasm (guaranteed genuine every time like the prize at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box). It could be that we’re merely watching to pick up schlong-wielding techniques or getting the penis envy out of our system… or not.
Whatever the reason, lezzies like gay porn. Standing in the back of your local independent video store, you’ll stare at the one shelf of lezzie porn and can’t help but turn your head towards the rest of the room, where there are walls upon walls of hot gay porn. What are you in the mood for? Jock porn? Check. Leather porn? Check. Got a thing for uniforms? There’s an entire section, further divided by firefighter, police and military. Impressive, eh?
Ahh gay porn. There’s no need to keep it a secret any longer dear friends! LEZZIES LIKE GAY PORN!
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July 1st, 2008 at 2:27 am
[Update: Deleted my comment and made it into a post. - Grace Chu]
July 1st, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I feel much better about my status as a lesbian after reading this post.
July 1st, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Queer is queer is queer….
and lezzies liking gay porn is pretty damn queer.
July 1st, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Whew, I was afraid I may be turning into a transexual gay man
July 1st, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Not that there is anything bad with being a transexual gay man, but it’s too much work for me to get there.
July 1st, 2008 at 6:42 pm
But see, there’s old school leeeeeeeezzzzzzbian porn (feeeeelings. and soft music. and touching and stroking) and then there’s, like, dyke porn (see, “Crash Pad”). V. different, both, from the lezzie porn aimed at straight guys.
One time a group of us, very mixed with straights, gayboys, and queer girls, decided to have chicken and porn night. So we got a gayboy porn, a dyke porn, and a straight porn.
The gay boy porn was like “Hi! I’m the plumber. [straight into the action]”
The straight porn had a lot of attempted acting. It was painful for that.
The dyke porn involved nipple clamps, a dildo, a chain link fence, and a woman who was at least seven months pregnant. We had to turn it off, we were so scarred.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Heh, I guess I never understood why the lesbians like boy-on-boy porn so much.
Though, I would agree that it seems that at least on boy-on-boy porn, there seems to be more of a chance of more definite chemistry going on between the *ahem* actors. I’ve tried watching straight and straight girl-on-girl porn and it’s either “ewww!” because it’s so fake, and everything seems so forced. With boy-on-boy porn, the chemistry seems so much more real–and it seems that nearly all my friends have been in a porn, in one way or another.
Except me, of course. Dammit.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
I feel better about myself now…
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:06 pm
By the way, nice strategic censorship.
July 10th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Awesome i thought i was the only one!Thx Grace your site is really great!
July 16th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Let’s not forget about pterodactyl porn …
August 26th, 2008 at 12:46 am
As a straight-identified girl, what could possibly be bad about TWICE the number of gorgeous, hung (usually), horny dudes in a porn scene??? Plus, I myself LOVE eating ass, and there’s a lot more of it, and more earnestly, than in straight porn.
I guess I’m pretty devoted to male pleasure, mentally and physically, and seeing how much the guys enjoy it (most of the time)–well there ya go.
August 27th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Nope, don’t really get it, have trouble agreeing with you, too.
[Disclaimer: I'm male, completely straight when it comes to relationships/sex, completely gay when it comes to hating on bad bridesmaid dresses, and I'm very fond of Grace Yip in real life.]
I’ve watched gay porn. I’ve probably watched more gay porn than any other straight man in the world that isn’t a video editor or a bartender in a gay bar. It fascinates me: partly because “HEY! PORN! WEENIES!!” (I’m still 6 years old), but also because DAMN, they are fucking the HELL out of each other. Gay porn is freakin’ ANGRY. It’s like “I hate you, I hate you so much I’m going to try to stab you to death with my dingdong. I’m going to STAB you, over and over and over, in your pooper, trying to dingdongstab you to death.”
Seriously, that’s some aggressive “doing” there. I speculate there is something about that that is appealing to you. You can’t really find that level of aggression in straight porn. Well, you can, but I don’t think you can find it without a lot of humiliation/degradation/subjugation of the woman/women.
I agree that waaaay too much of the “lesbian porn for straight guys” is fake, tired, strained and boring. I have, however, seen the rare piece in which the women seem to be genuinely and thoroughly enjoying themselves and each other. (Of course, I’m a guy, so I’m genetically incapable of knowing what women are feeling in any way, shape or form, right?)
Oh, and Jen, if you’re single….
P-)
September 1st, 2008 at 5:48 am
Thank you, for this list.
October 1st, 2008 at 10:25 am
For me it’s not live action guy/guy porn, it’s Japanese anime yaoi or yaoi manga. I love reading or watching male romance stories. And if it happens to have sex, that’s good too.
November 5th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
November 6th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
What the hell? Stab to death? They both enjoy it..
Wow straight guys are dense! Why are you here if you’re straight?
November 7th, 2008 at 1:26 am
Did I even suggest that either of them didn’t enjoy it? No, I didn’t. Though, if we’re honest, we don’t know for sure that they are both enjoying it. To us it is porn, to them it is a job, and not everybody loves their job. But let us stipulate, for the sake of argument that they are both enjoying themselves. They are both enjoying themselves whilst engaging in some very aggressive sex. In what way does pointing that out make me dense? If your complaint had been that using a phrase like “dingdongstab” is, perhaps, a bit puerile, sure, you’d have a cogent argument. As it stands, you are saying “well, you said it was aggressive, but I say that they are enjoying it. Even though those are in no way exclusive, this makes you dense… and it also makes dense all people who share your your orientation and gender.” People familiar with fallacious arguments might call that “argument by generalization”.
And what’s with the “why are you here if I’m straight?” The implication in a statement like that is that I shouldn’t be here. Are you saying that I shouldn’t?
November 11th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Then how is straight sex not referred to as “stabbing”? I think you’re watching the wrong gay porn, I’ve never seen violent sex in gay porn (at least not yet).
No, I just see no appeal for you to be here, you being a guy AND straight.. And whoa, you’re trying to pick up a girl online, just simply because she says she is straight?
November 14th, 2008 at 10:21 am
1) I didn’t refer to straight sex as “stabbing” because, while it happens there, too, that was not the topic at hand.
2) Maybe, just maybe, there really isn’t a right or wrong kind of porn. Just an idea.
3) You see no appeal for me to be here. Is it possible that you aren’t the one and only unilateral decider of who belongs where? Oh, wait, I shouldn’t be here because I’m a straight male! Oh, okay. Of course, if I were to say you weren’t welcome to post on some other forum because you were a gay female, I’m going to guess that you would find that somewhat offensive, sexist, homophobic and discriminatory. And you’d be right. So don’t turn around and do it to somebody else. (I don’t know that you actually are gay and female, but it’s implied.)
4) I tried to pick up a girl online?
A) If I really were trying to “pick [her] up”, I didn’t exactly put much effort into it. Hell, I didn’t even finish the sentence. Gee, it’s almost as if it were a lighthearted joke.
B) I suspect you were the only one who took that at all seriously.
C) Even beyond that, you still didn’t understand what you read.
And, for the sake of anybody else who might be reading, this is my last post on this article.
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:40 pm
you are SO awesome. Seriously! I hope there are more straight men like you out there.
December 1st, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Mary,
I don’t know if you’re being sarcastic or not. Regardless, don’t lose any sleep over it either way: there isn’t anybodylike me out there, straight or gay, man or woman. Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, is left as an exercise for the reader.
December 15th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Wow this list keeps getting gayer and gayer (heh)
I’m a gay girl. Don’t watch gay porn. Nope. The idea of watching two guys fuck, or even seeing dick and balls is not remotely close to anything that might appeal to me.
I’m seriously starting to think this whole list is made by a gay guy. Cause this is like crazy banana shit.
Also there is some really good lesbian porn out there. You’ve obviously never seen any Girlfriend Films, Triangle Films or Viv Thomas. I personally cannot stand real ‘dyke’ porn. Its a turn off. Butch women are a turn off. I’m a femme, I only date femmes. Alot of the girls in the lez porn I mentioned are lesbian/bi irl. It’s a stereotypical myth that gay women don’t like to wear makeup, have long nails (or even femmy manicured nails), wear heels, etc etc etc.
WHY are you perpetuating these stereotypes with your dumb list? Or you must be a butch dyke and think ALL lesbians are this way. Uh, no, they’re not.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
i haven’t used this phrase in at least 10 years but…
ROFL!!
ahhh. it’s so good to laugh when you least expect it.
December 15th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Yeah, you’re such a butch!
January 3rd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
I’ve seen those made-for-straight-men “lesbian” porn DVD’s, and they’re SUCH a waste. Bleach-blond girls with DD tits and 5inch nails using vibrators on each other? OUCH! No thanks!
Straight porn makes me sick… Queer as Folk, however… Now that’s a damn amazing show!
January 28th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Hi “Pirate”. I just want to comend you on your clean and respectful defense
Also, congrats on being comfortable enough to admit to the large amount of gay porn you have seen (albeit heterosexual).. and I hope you do not take this comment of mine to be sarcastic, because I do intend for it to be.
Best Regards,
A Lesbian Reader Fond of “STUFF LESBIANS LIKE” Articles
February 25th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
True Life: I’m Gay For Pay
Are you a straight person engaging in sexual activity with same-sex partners, in exchange for money, despite the fact that you’re heterosexual? Are you currently employed in the sex industry, working in gay porn or as an escort catering to same-sex clients? Perhaps you’re a college student simply looking to earn some extra cash on the side. Are you enjoying yourself in spite of your true sexual orientation? Or did you get involved in this line of work out of necessity? Do your friends and family know what you do or are you living with a secret that you fear could be exposed at any moment? If you’re lining your pockets by pretending to be gay for a living, MTV wants to hear from you.
If you appear to be between the ages of 16 and 28, and you think that you have an interesting story to tell the world about your experiences, email us at GayForPay@mtvn.com with all of the details. Please be sure to include your name, location, phone number and a photo.
February 27th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
haha, oh my god.. I see that I put “I hope you do not take this comment of mine to be sarcastic, because I * DO * intend for it to be” when I honestly meant to say: I do NOT intend for it to be [sarcastic].. My above comment was sincere.
ahh, damn typos!
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
March 13th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I second that- its Yaoi nuf said. ^-~
July 13th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Grace Yip, if you’re one of those dykes who love gay male porn than that’s fine by me.
What isn’t fine by me is your implying that femme-femme / girl-girl porn is all “fake” and that gay male porn is all “real”. Those are absurd and ignorant assumptions with no real basis in fact. And you very clearly don’t really have a clue what you are talking about
The truth is that a lot of the women and men who perform in porn are just “sexual” or bisexual/ pansexual to some extent and one way or another. And many of them make gay, bi, lesbian, trans and straight porn. Whatever they can bring themselves to do on camera.
There are lots of men who perform in gay porn who are not gay I can assure you. Some of those who are not gay are not even bisexual enough to ever really want sex with another man in real life. And others who are bisexual enough for that still have no interest in other men romantically at all. They do have ways of faking arousal when they perform. This can include looking at or watching straight or girl-girl porn and being “fluffed” by women on set – quite often their real their wife or girlfriend. Then using a cock ring and or viagra or some other drug to maintain an erection long enough to perform a gay sex scene.
There are also techniques for faking male orgasms / ejaculation in porn as well.
And why do many straight male porn performers do gay porn if they can?
Answer: Because it generally pays much better than doing straight porn.
In straight porn the female performers invariably get paid a lot more than the men. Which is also why some female porn stars who are lesbians in real life (femme-looking lesbians obviously) work mainly in straight hetero hardcore porn. It pays better than girl-girl.
October 30th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Really great content, I learnt a lot from reading this.
January 12th, 2010 at 4:17 am
Great information on this site. I love reading your posts. Thanks a lot!
January 12th, 2010 at 4:24 am
I’m learning more everyday reading your blog. Thanks for all the hard work. I’m looking forward to more reading here!
January 24th, 2010 at 5:36 pm
My lesbian status feels bona-fide now that i’ve read this.
I’ve felt CRAZY for loving gay porn for a little while now, so thanks for the update!
LOL @ Straight Guy who commented above btw, haha. It really makes no sense to “disagree” with someone’s preference, especially when he himself has watched ‘a lot’ of gay porn while avowedly NOT being interested in teh Dick in real life.
(Just like lesbians are not interested in ‘real life’ dick.. HMMM, interesting similarity!!!)
February 27th, 2010 at 1:26 am
I thought I was the only one… haha
June 8th, 2010 at 10:55 am
OMG THIS HAS JUST MADE MY DAY , WELL MAYBE LIFE !!! THANK-YOU THANK-YOU !!! U C I AM 51 AND JUST SOME BACK GROUND ON ME .. WAS WITH AN 8 YR OLD WHEN I WAS 8, DR AND NURSE WAS REALLY FUN
[ DON'T GET STUPID IDEAS W/WHAT I JUST SAID WE WERE BOTH 8 ]… SO YES I WAS BORN LESBIAN .. THEN FOR 25 YEARS I TRYED PLAYING THE HEDRO THING BECAUSE THAT WAS WHAT SOCIETY SAID WAS” normal ” … I HAVE BEEN OUT SINCE AND IDENTIFY AS LESBIAN/FEMME .. OK, 2 THE MORAL OF THE STORY, I LOVE WATCHING GAY PORN !! THIS HAS WORRIED ME FOR MANY YEARS I THOUGHT I MIGHT NOT BE LESBIAN .. A FEW YEARS AGO I WAS AT A GAY RESORT IN ST PETE AND WAS WALKING FROM OUR ROOM BACK TO THE BAR AS I WALKED PAST A HALL A SAW 2 GUYS HAVING WILD SEX .. OMG I STARTED MASTERBATING [NO SP CK] WATCHING THEM I CAME IN 2 MINUTES .. IT WAS GREAT !!!! I WALKED BACK IN BAR STRAIGHT TO RESTROOM . MY G/F ASK WHAT WAS GOING ON ,I SAID, OOOO LONG STORY ACTUALLY I LIED IT WAS A SHORT STORY … LOLOL !! I HAVE ALWAYS SAID LESBIAN PORN IS SO FAKE, MANY PEPS NEVER UNDERSTOOD SO I THOUGHT AGAIN MAYBE I AM NOT LESBIAN … AND I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD THE BI SHIT, EITHER UR OR U AINT !!! AND HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HERE OF A BUTCH THAT FALLS IN LOVE W/ A BI AND THEN THE BI GOES BACK TO A MAN !!! ELLEN IS A GOOD DESCRIPTION OF THIS SADNESS … I AM INTO THE BUTCH/FEMME DYNAMICS , A WHILE BACK I FELT SORRY WHEN A BUTCH WOULD GET HURT BY A BI FEMALE, THEN ANN LEFT ELLEN I STOPPED FELLING SORRY FOR THE BUTCH because U SHOULD HAVE REALIZED FROM ELLENS PAIN AND WISED UP !!!
June 9th, 2010 at 8:54 am
Wow.
July 13th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
I consider myself 100% lesbian. When I heard about this all I tried to watch some gay male porn, but it just doesn’t make anything for me. I feel attraction only to women, and there have to be something to do with them for me to get turned on.
I personally think you have to feel some sexual attraction to male bodies to get turned on by watching gay men’s porn. Doesn’t mean you must have a desire to have sex with a man, and that makes perfect sense – there’s propably not so many 100% gay or straight people, so with right circumstances (not so much good lesbian porn, sexist straight porn) people with a small sexual attraction to men may find their like in this.
July 13th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
“In straight porn the female performers invariably get paid a lot more than the men. Which is also why some female porn stars who are lesbians in real life (femme-looking lesbians obviously) work mainly in straight hetero hardcore porn. It pays better than girl-girl.”
Judy Star for example.
July 13th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
One more thing about sexual attraction, I know some women who have to think about men during masturbation to orgasm, but they consider themselves lesbians, because they want to be with women, at least at that time.
Simirarly, on one forum I’ve read a story of some girl who get turned on only by lesbian porn and have to think about women during sex with her boyfriend to have orgasm. But that was straight forum and she was really affraid if she’s lesbian.