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Grace Underfire

My Love is louder than “Yours”

By

After having seen Love is Louder, It Gets Better, and “Wear a purple shirt day” happen, I got to thinking. I read an excellent forward on my Facebook written by Dan Savage in response to a letter that started with, “I heard an interview with you about your It Gets Better campaign. I was saddened and frustrated with your comments regarding people of faith and their perpetuation of bullying.”

I read Dan Savage say what I have been wanting to say and have been saying for years….How did we evolve into a world where you can invade my life with *your *politics? How did you become a person who deserves an apology, an explanation, or even time to get out the words that you are frustrated? I have been frustrated FOR YEARS with you. Have you done a single damn thing for me? It got me thinking about how we keep seeing stuff like this pop up and it’s because we are getting louder. We are getting LOUDER and you are mad.

You know why you are mad at us and our recent focus on speaking louder? You are afraid of us. I use “you” to define anyone who would be offended by this post, this website, my life, my existence, my strength, and my courage. I use “you” to define those who identify with the following practices or labels. You, you people who defy all logic and sense of decency, are afraid of what the world would be like without people fearing you or listening to you.

What happens if your microphone was turned off for a second and people didn’t buy into what you were saying? What happens when you lose your power? What happens when you lose some of yours because I have gained my own? What happens when you stop talking and start listening? What happens when you realize that you have been on the WRONG side of history?

I hate to tell you, but you WILL find out. I said it here. YOU…You elusive and offensive “YOU” will find out because it’s only a matter of time before I get my rights, my liberties, and my life to call my VERY OWN.

What you don’t understand is that gay people are far more powerful than you give them credit. Those who do not listen to your fear and lies are much more powerful than you could ever imagine. We extend our permanent realities into the world without shame. We come out at alarmingly high rates. We come out as spiritual people who believe in love. We come out as allies to those who have very little social capital. We come out as leaders, learners, and supporters. We believe that tolerance is still a dirty word. We believe that acceptance should be a starting point and not an ending…and that it’s not even enough. We believe that support is a base from which you can only grow. We get beaten down and we emerge much stronger. We emerge without the fear or the hate damaging us because we learn that it’s only fear and hate. We get beaten down and come away living louder and telling the next generation it gets better.

Your attempt to intellectualize fear through religion and principle beliefs is a ruse. It’s a ruse to try to get us to think we don’t have immense power. You use those outside entities to hide homophobia and ignorance. You use religion as a voting tactic. My middle school and junior high teachings at my evangelical church taught me quite a few things that still surpass your skill-set.

I learned…

…The only one that does the final judging seems to be God. All of your attempts are terribly futile.

…Our understanding of the bible is only relatable to our own experiences and levels of understanding the world. If you don’t question, you don’t get it. If you don’t learn, you don’t have the capacity to understand.

…If societies evolve over time, people evolve over time, and beliefs and ideals evolve over time, what you call “growth” could very easily be equated to evolution as a much greater concept.

…Jesus really did hang out with the cool people.

…I seem to remember Jesus being pretty upset at people who turn the church into a den of thieves.

…You should give all of what you do not need. Your fourth car or house is not really a need.

…We are all too fallible to really think we have all the answers and are correct about everything.

…The Bible was written over a great deal of time and in a great deal of different histories. The Bible needs to be placed in the context of history and is really impossible to be taken literally.

…If you take the Bible as the literal word, you have a lot more sacrifice, wives to marry, beatings to do, things to not wear, things that you will never be able to eat again, places you won’t be able to go, and people you will never be able to associate with. You will also have a WHOLE lot of apologizing to do. You also have a whole lot of things to sell and give to the poor.

…The story of the Good Samaritan and the golden rule seem to only apply when you are wanting something and not when others may need something.

…You will never turn me into someone who doesn’t believe that love is louder than all of this indecency.

I find a lot of people saying they are offended by my lack of decency in keeping my life in my bedroom when you invade it every single day. That is indecent. I find people still shy away from getting to know me when I put up a picture of my wife and I and yet they have 10 for their office. I find a lot of people wanting me to stop pushing my life on others by trying to get the rights so I don’t have to push my life on others. I don’t want to be on street corners, in front of large rooms, discussing why my having to pay additional taxes on my wife’s benefits because my marriage is not recognized is one of my LEAST favorite things to do. I wish I could wake up and not have to keep telling people how unequal it really is. I find it terribly offensive that my life is political and not free. I find it terribly offensive that I am used as a punch line. I find a lot of things offensive.

I find…

…the extremely high divorce rates among heterosexual couples OFFENSIVE.

…Evangelicals that prescribe to going against the constitution and American values by NOT separating Church and State OFFENSIVE. Hell, I would just like it if you even knew the constitution well enough to even talk about it.

…Non-Profit status for churches that participate actively in politics OFFENSIVE.

…the fact that I could go on for pages and pages and still not have any more power or ability to change anything on my own OFFENSIVE.

I need a group of people, whom I love and call friends, to fight for me. I am unable to do any of this on my own and it makes me tired, sad, and dejected, but I will still be who I am. I will still know what I know. I will still know my version of God will still love me. I know that no matter the vote, no matter the majority, no matter the offense, I won’t back down.

I will teach my children that they are wonderful, powerful beyond all measure, able to handle anything, to be friends with the kids who no one will be friends with, and to be their best version of who they believe themselves to be. It’s a first step in turning evolution into a very powerful and subversive reality that goes against “YOU.”

My love is DEFINITELY LOUDER than “YOURS!”

8 Responses to “My Love is louder than “Yours””

  1. CAB Says:

    Well said! I’m going to share this

  2. Sandi G Says:

    Outstanding post.

  3. Grace Rooney Says:

    …Non-Profit status for churches that participate actively in politics OFFENSIVE

    You stated it more clearly than I was able.

    Thank you, and sign me up for your posse

  4. kim Says:

    wow, very well written powerful post, had to delurk to say, kudos to you!

  5. Megan Says:

    Count me in!

    Very powerful!

  6. Samantha Says:

    you said everything that is on my mind. Absolutely Powerful!

    Love is Power

  7. Reyna Says:

    your right, the world could be more peaceful if we accept everything that is different from what each one of us believes. i always read the bible everyday, and is it true that there is part of the bible saying about homosexuality. and how God punished them. but at the new testament Jesus said that we must love one another as we love our selves. and we have no right to judge anyone else if who they are and what they are. because all of us is a sinners. for me there is no wrong about for being gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. the only wrong of it is how you practice it. but if you practice it with love and respect not only your self but also to others then their is no wrong about it.

  8. Reyna Says:

    your right, the world could be more peaceful if we accept everything that is different from what each one of us believes. i always read the bible everyday, and is it true that there is part of the bible saying about homosexuality. and how God punished them. but at the new testament Jesus said that we must love one another as we love our selves. and we have no right to judge anyone else if who they are and what they are. because all of us is a sinners. for me there is no wrong about for being gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. the only wrong of it, is how you practice it. but if you practice it with love and respect not only to your self but also to others then their is no wrong about it.

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