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Grace Rooney

If The Voice Were The Girlfriend

By

I wasn’t going to do it, I was not going to get invested in a reality show to find the next great singer. But on a lazy Wednesday I went to primetime on demand, the savior of people who don’t want or forget to DVR things and queued up The Voice. And so, they have me at least through the blind auditions. Then, I am probably out. Carson Daly bothers me for some reason that I can’t put my finger on, I can’t decide if Cee Lo Green has unusually small hands or just wears a ridiculously large watch, Blake who?, Adam Levine and Christina well those two are pretty and it is reality tv so time will tell how long I am in.

During the premiere I did get a little bit bored and began imagining a world where The Voice was The Girlfriend and it went something like this. Hey, Blind auditions with 4 lesbians with their backs to one lesbian who just talks maybe it is there would be a sultry Angie Harmon voice that would make all four blind lesbians push their buttons(take this wherever your mind does) spin around and have their chairs light up screaming I WANT YOU. Or perhaps it would be the intellectual comedy stylings of Tiny Fey that only @DorothySnarker would buzz in for, out of respect the other three lesbians would concede it is her fake tv wife after all. Imagine the negotiating that would go one when more than one of the four spun around to pick a blind lesbian to be on her team.

Then the drama phase where the “coaches”(so yes there would be a place for the come on over to our team and give this “lifestyle” a try ya know since it is a choice) would have to immediately cut 4 of their 8 team members. The analyzing and processing it would be @Tweetsbian’s wet dream.

I’m not sure how the next part of The Voice or The Girlfriend would go, it seems to have great potential. I for one like the idea of a lot of lesbians in one place without the heat of Palm Springs in April.

So anyone wanna head to the networks and pitch this with me?

4 Responses to “If The Voice Were The Girlfriend”

  1. Grace Underfire Says:

    Would there be a med certification and psychological counseling portion to the vetting process for this show/experience/dating thing?

  2. Grace Rooney Says:

    I think the vetting would come in the battle phase where the “coach” pits two of the team mates against each other and then cuts one of them.

    Maybe Grace Fox would handle other vetting/psych breakdowns for us!

    Good to see you are around and kicking Underfire!

    Rooney

  3. Sandi G Says:

    Ha! Great idea, I’ll help with the pitch. For the battle phase, who can book a u-haul the fastest, or create a chart like Alice did on L-Word, just to add some drama. You know you can’t have more than 2 lesbians in a room without some drama.

    Welcome back….missed your posts.

  4. Vince Says:

    I just got done reading your article, and really enjoyed it, thank you. You can see some fun books at http://www.fun2readbooks.com where you can also hear the girls read the stories for the same price as a paperback book, but they are reading exotic sexy stories that will get you going!

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