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Grace O'Neill

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 61: Swagger

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Pop quiz for my fellow lady lovers: What one thing do Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, and 99.9% of the lesbian population have in common? The burning desire to ride off into the sunset with the girl of their dreams? Possibly. Unless, of course, you have an enormous, irrational fear of horses (attempting to make a miniature pony gallop is never a good idea…trust me). Or how about the general love of holsters, cowboy hats, and chaps? Good guess. But unless it’s Halloween or you’re living out the lesbian remake of Brokeback Mountain, probably not the answer.

Give up? Believe it or not, the common characteristic is pretty simple. It’s the swagger.

Lesbians love to swagger. Whether you’re hooked on heels or a Converse-craving girl, this “lead with the hips” style of walking just seems to come as naturally as softball, hand tucks, and creating unnecessary drama.

It becomes even more prominent when lesbians happen to be walking together. In fact, throw in a few black ties and a couple pairs of Ray Bans and most packs of lesbians could double for as the cast of Reservoir Dogs.

Why the overwhelming urge to constantly strut our stuff? Although there are a slew of possible theories… natural imbalance due to carrying everything in one’s pockets, old knee injuries requiring a robo-brace, too-tight uniforms… Really, the main cause of swagger can actually be pinpointed to one very specific character trait: Confidence.

Yup. It all boils down to confidence. Ask any lesbian and she’ll tell you that confidence is hands down the sexiest trait a woman can possess… Well, maybe not the sole sexiest trait but it’s definitely right up there with a great smile, killer sense of humor, and the ability to make a mouth watering baked ziti… And swaggering is simply the physical manifestation of this.

So, even if you are experiencing one of those confidence lacking sort of days, pick yourself up and try going for a walk. Because a little swaggering will totally make your day.

14 Responses to “Stuff Lesbians Like Part 61: Swagger”

  1. Jul Says:

    I love that my girl has swagger…you’ve nailed it. Confidence is almost always sexy – but you’ve got to have the moves to back it up….

  2. Monica Says:

    Swagger, dear Grace, may be the sole sexiest trait on a woman. Especially when she’s walking towards me. :-)

    See me, I really don’t have a swagger (God knows I’ve tried to fake it). But I do stroll-I can work the hips.

  3. Ladiesinwaiting Says:

    I love this. I would also add that I love the view of a swagger from behind.

  4. GayGirl Says:

    This is SO true… I’m actually amazed that I just realized this now, but it’s spot on. A good swagger will win over any girl (gay or straight) every time.
    A great example of a good swagger can actually be found in Pink – I swear you could FEEL all the so-called straight girls turn gay, when we saw her in concert. ;o)

  5. becky Says:

    hahaha… oddly, my gchat status right now is “no one on the corner have swagger like us” (from T.I. ft. Kanye, Jay-Z, & Lil Wayne – sampling MIA!)
    and this weekend i was informed that straight girls dance with their whole bodies, but gay girls dance with their hips & down – havent actually tested the theory, but i think it might be a good one!

  6. Vikki Says:

    I always check out the walk. It’s part of the Lesbian Assessment I complete when I notice a woman.

  7. Alex Says:

    This is a great post! It made me think of my middle school drama class when my teacher told me “We can put you in heels, but ya still walk like a man…” :)

  8. Julie Says:

    Funny stuff!!! Never thought about the lesbian swagger. Reading your piece on the lesbian Reservoir Dogs made me have a flashback to a recent Pride…it’s so true! Lesbians totally swagger…I’m currently bailing tonnes of crap out of my pockets also!

  9. lyrics lady Says:

    Phranc – Bulldagger Swagger

    To every young man who can’t pass
    From every lipstick lezzie-lass
    From every drag queen’s high-heel stagger
    To every bulldagger swagger
    Do the Bulldagger
    Bulldagger swagger
    Do the Bulldagger
    Bulldagger swagger
    Do the bulldagger
    Bulldagger swagger -
    yeah
    I went to charm school I got a degree
    And full-fleshed feminenergy
    You know that I ain’t trying to be a man
    I’m just being who I am
    And that’s a very very very butch lesbian
    (refrain)
    I went to the lady’s room I had to pee
    Wow was everybody staring at me
    A little girl giggled, a lady gazed
    One woman nearly had a heartattack
    (refrain)
    (repeat 1st)
    (refrain)

  10. rachy Says:

    Its true…me and my friends noticed this a few weeks back… : )

  11. rachy Says:

    The walk is a total give away…it was what first got me and my last gf together… she noticed the way i walked at work and viceversa. ‘The Walk’ can be thanked for a lot of relationships i think lol!!

  12. charlie Says:

    lol, when I came out to my best friend she just looked at me and said she already knew because I had a lesbian walk!!

  13. Elina Says:

    Are there variations on the lesbian swagger? I’m not -that- observant, and my friends have been commenting lately that there’s different swaggers… Has anyone else seen this, or are they having me on? I can spot a swagger when I see one, but I don’t really get what it is that makes it a swagger aside from walking from a lower center of balance/with more hip movement?

  14. Rose Says:

    My sexuality has always been a giveaway and ppl knew I was gay even b4 I did because I always had a cool vibe about me when I walked or pretty much did anything. The “lesbian wal”k is not practiced, it’s apart of you.

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