 | Stuff Lesbians Like Part 70: Flannel 2.0 a/k/a FleeceBy Grace Chu |
This post was sent in by guest writer Anna Pulley.
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In the 80s and early 90s, you couldn’t throw an Atari out a window without it landing a dyke in flannel. For who among us could resist the plaid clad charms of Claire Danes from My So Called Life, Darlene from Roseanne or Home Improvement‘s bearded sidekick Al, whose closeted sexual frustrations were so obviously a cry for help. And let’s not forget the Kurt Cobains and Axl Roses, whose grungy hole-filled flannels accompanied them just as steadfastly as their heroin addictions. But just as we had to say goodbye to Hammer Pants and side ponytails, so too have the next generation of lesbians abandoned the loosely-woven, checkered fabrics of yesteryear for a more modern material, one that quickly soaks up the enthusiastic spills of beer pongers but can still keep us warm during the many many months spent waiting to find out of Jenny will be killed off in the next season of The L Word.
It is fleece, of course, that I speak of. Lesbians love fleece because they can engage in an array of rigorous activities, be it flag football or an election debate drinking game (maverick-joe-plumber-john-ayers-terrorist!), and have the sweat dry instantaneously, thus leaving them cool, comfortable and ready for round two (or three or six) of “hide the double dong.” Fleece is also much less bulky than wool or cotton, and significantly decreases the chances that you will have to convince your lady that the pullover she chose doesn’t make her look “hippy.” In the winter months it is rare indeed to find a queer event where at least one dyke isn’t sporting a North Face jacket or Patagonia vest. And why shouldn’t they? It’s difficult enough to look hot in the winter when the only flesh that can be exposed is a tiny sliver of nose. Fleece has helped many a flannel-lovin’ lesbian transition from “sullen teenager” to “sullen adult who perspires less.” The best part of all is that fleece is vegan and can be made entirely from recycled plastic bottles. So come on, give fleece a chance.
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October 28th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Sigh …not necessarily a happy one.
Fleece season – so hard to see the end of cargo shorts.
Ever sarcastically yours-
janet
October 28th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Sigh. I wish I had known in high school that my love for Claire Danes was more than just admiration of her fashion style.
October 28th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Oh god I love fleece. I would live in it if I could.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:38 am
prop 8 doesn’t even effect gays, why would gays vote about it.
you poor ladies don’t realize how empty you are without God. I hope
you find a place to cry to God and He will love you.
READ and apply Acts 2:38 in the Bible.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:48 am
So Samantha, should I take it you don’t wear fleece? Or do you and now you are afraid you may be GAY?!
Thanks for trolling the internet to find any gay-oriented site to preach your beliefs … freedom of speech is a beauty!
October 29th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Samantha – I cry ‘God’ most nights. But then my girlfriend is a fantastic shag.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Nicely done Anna! And I’ll fully admit that I LOVE my Northface fleece
October 29th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Samantha- I have read the Bible. Cover to cover. Have you? Try Luke 6:36-38 or Matthew 7:1-5… I’ll even post the Matthew text so you don’t have to go find your copy:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
I don’t need you to tell me if God loves me, I know He does. And He loves you too, even when you are judging others. That’s why He is so great.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Mine is an REI brand fleece and, oh, I love it so. The downside to lesbians and fleece though is the animal hair from all those cats and dogs. I don’t have any pets (I know, I know – revoke my lesbo card) but I have seen some women sportin’ the fleece and bringing just a little too much of their pets with them. Animal hair just about never seems to come out of fleece.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:31 am
yes, pet hair is a bitch on fleece, for totes. but then so is almost all fabric, except maybe chain mail. and “dress as your favorite ren fair character” at work days are so seldom.
i’m off to cry to god now…that i may afford some new fleece socks for xxx-mas.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
“prop 8 doesn’t even effect gays”
okay, you lost my interest already. that’s like saying that a law that removes urinals from all public bathrooms doesn’t affect men.
NEXT!
November 7th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Hahaha, omg! I have 3 fleece sweaters, 1 jacket with fleece lining(non-North Face), another jacket with fleece lining that I recently gave away and was recently shopping for a fleece blanket. It’s the material that allowed me to survive the English winter! Having been born and raised in the tropics, I needed all the help I could get.
I am a bit reluctant to be seen in fleece though. When I do wear my fleece sweaters, they are usually covered by an overcoat and removed with the overcoat when I am indoors. I am in the fleece closet!
It’s somewhat of a protest to my straight female and gay male friends who asked me why so many lesbians dress badly(damn you unflattering flannel!). Every time I go shopping, I always struggle to find a comfortable middle ground between ‘stylish’ and ‘comfortable’.
September 20th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
[...] away in the school’s boiler room listening to Indigo Girls’ albums and comparing fleece jackets. We are all room parents and frequent volunteers and they just can’t keep us straight (in [...]