Lesbians love board shorts. While shopping for Christmas gifts in Pacific Sunwear WAY back in 2008, I ran into a few dyke-a-likes in the board short section. When I was walking around Long Beach, I noticed a group of lesbians wearing plaid board shorts as they gave me the head nod of solidarity. At the bar, plaid shorts and long skate shorts also seem to ring true as a calling card for the sapphic sisterhood. They are everywhere. It’s a lesbian phenomenon.
Forget the trendy haircut or the wallet chain. You can also leave your baseball caps at home. These shorts cross all barriers. Board shorts are freedom personified. They are roomy, have ample pockets for the things one would normally use a purse for, and they can be made for swimming at a moment’s notice. They can come in styles that go beyond the board: Cargo, Skate, and Skinny. Each can be used as swim trunks or they can be land use only. Baggy cargo, skate, and board shorts are usually reserved for the chapstick lesbian or the dykes. The skinnier you get with your shorts, the more you move toward those of the femme persuasion or the straight girl who wishes she could be as cool as the lesbians that she is friends with.
There are no rules with the shorts; they can come in all colors and sizes. Plaid, floral, striped, or plain, it doesn’t matter. You just need a pair. Trust me – they will change your life and your cargo space.
(Warning: As board shorts might be regional in their popularity, necessity is up to the individual lesbian. What applies in CA might not apply in PA. Results may vary.)