Stuff Lesbians Like Part 2: Telling the stupid U-Haul joke

Feb 26, 2008

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 2: Telling the stupid U-Haul joke

By Grace Chu

Okay, we get it. Lesbians often move in together after a relatively short courtship.

But this post isn’t about lesbians’ inclination to shack up without properly vetting their new partners. This post is about lesbians’ penchant for telling the same tired U-Haul joke about lesbians’ natural inclination to shack up with the first living punani in sight.

For you non-lesbian readers out there who are staring blankly at the screen, the joke is as follows:

Q: “What does a lesbian bring on a second date?”
A: “A U-Haul.”

Lesbians tell this joke so often that U-Haul International, Inc. should be paying us every time we open our mouths. You’d think that after hearing it once, one would be content never to hear it again. The thing is, no one even thinks it’s funny anymore, but that doesn’t matter. Like herpes, the U-Haul joke will always keep passing itself along, and it isn’t curable.

The U-Haul joke seems to have evolved into a verbal gang sign. Telling the joke acts as an affirmation to other lesbians that you are part of the sisterhood. But why go through all that trouble?

The Crips are efficient and just throw up this sign:

But being lesbians, we can’t settle for just a simple hand signal. Even if we aren’t being clever and witty, we have to go through the motions of being clever and witty. Sure, if you’re telling the U-Haul joke to a new lesbian couple, they will probably U-Haul before you get to the punchline, but that’s the way we roll.

The Mr. Cooper You Hang With Says:
February 26th, 2008 at 7:52 am

If only U-Haul didn’t use trucks older than George Burns and have a questionable safety record.

Goober Says:
February 26th, 2008 at 12:57 pm

I’d rather get herpes than hear another UHaul reference/joke.

Speaking of hand gestures, dear str8 friends – it is annoying when you do the “V sign with your tongue wagging between” gesture. You don’t have to throw the V-Wag up to us. We farkin’ invented it. If there’s a hot girl at the bar that you want us to ogle, just glance over and do the frat-boy head-nod. werd.

Lesberita Says:
February 26th, 2008 at 3:19 pm

I see you in a same-sex, same-name couple. I am too! My girlfriend and I are both named Renee!!

Rebecca Says:
March 6th, 2008 at 1:37 pm

Lolz, u iz funny.

JoseOle Says:
March 14th, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Can someone explain to me why this joke could possibly be funny, are they moving in? moving out? don’t understand, I guess it’s because I’m a breeder.

Grace Chu Says:
March 14th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

Joseole:

The second sentence of the above post states, “Lesbians often move in together after a relatively short courtship.”

Hence, moving in.

douchebag arena Says:
April 14th, 2008 at 4:25 pm

ha. that joke is used so much that U Haul sponsored our gay pride celebration here in Mobile.

U Haul’s rates suck. We went with Penske.

Anna Says:
June 29th, 2008 at 8:29 pm

There was a float in the twin cities gay pride parade this year that was just a u-haul truck full of lesbians.

Brandy Says:
March 25th, 2009 at 1:03 pm

I like the second half of the joke… what did the gay man bring to the second date…. what second date? ahahahah.

stupidstraightwhiteman Says:
April 14th, 2009 at 4:51 pm

Forgive me, I don’t get the joke…perhaps you could explain it to me? Is it a play on words, an obscure reference to how U-Haul is connected w/ lesbian history, or is it simply a nonsequitir?

stupidstraightwhiteman Says:
April 14th, 2009 at 4:59 pm

Okay, I get it now; moving in, moving out quickly. Now I understand!