I receive notices of deals, events and other announcements in my inbox from time to time, and some of them may be of interest. So while humanity is falling prey to a bioterrorism attack launched by our pig overlords, here are a few things that you can throw your remaining emergency recession funds at in our final hours:

• The New York Liberty wants you to have free popcorn. Hot sweaty women and free popcorn. How can you resist? When you buy tickets at the following link, use the code ASHLEY – http://www.ticketmaster.com/artist/805989/
• Until April 30 proceeds from each iTunes sale ($.54) of out rocker Ariel Aparicio’s new single “Pretty In Pink” will go to the Greater New York City Affiliate of Susan G. Komen For The Cure ®.

So you’ve all seen that “Gaythering Storm” parody on funnyordie. Somewhere around 50,000 and 100,000 of you were compelled to type http://www.giantgayrepellentumbrella.com into your address bar as a result. (Or you ended up on our joke page, http://www.giantgayrepellantumbrella.com, because you can’t type.) The webmaster of the original umbrella page is seeking writers:

If you, or anyone you know, finds yourself in a satirical mood and wants to write a commentary on anything from anti-gay marriage groups, I’d love to have some regular contributors to the blog. I know you’ve probably got more than enough to keep you busy with the other two blogs, but maybe you want a chance to put more sarcastic posts somewhere I don’t really have the time or the writing skills to do much with it yet. I’m thinking it could be a great way to promote marriage equality with some humor.

As the end of human superiority on earth comes to a grinding halt, an extraordinary number of people seem to have the time to pause the “Gaythering Storm” video to type in the giant gay umbrella URL. I’m not sure whether those two things are correlated in any way, but it does seem suspect. In any event, if you’re funny and think that Maggie Gallagher is a delusional windbag, contact the webmaster of the original umbrella URL.

Also, Sasha of Card Carrying Lesbian gave us an award. Card Carrying Lesbian is a blog that details the dating life of a fabulous femme in Los Angeles. Reading the blog has been very educational. For example, I have learned that the women in Los Angeles seem to be even more batshit fucking crazy than the ones in New York. This is no easy feat, and I salute the talented women of L.A. for being so exceptionally unhinged. (Hint: Therapy, my dears. We’re all in therapy in New York, and this is why we can pretend to function at least 50% of the time.)

By accepting this award, I have to pay it forward and nominate three other blogs, who are then required to pay it forward and nominate three other blogs. This continues until it is considered a pandemic by the CDC. Or a ponzi scheme by the FTC. Neither are goals that one should aspire towards, but since the end is nigh, it really doesn’t matter. So here it goes:

I hereby nominate:

• Chicktellectual – Alana is a friend of mine, and I’m prone to acts of nepotism. I think Leonora is a Facebook friend of mine, so that makes me guilty of Facebook nepotism as well. I don’t know the other ones, but all are good writers, so please visit them.
• EurOut – Did anyone else get a mental picture of Heidi Klum ordering the loser of Project Runway off the stage when reading this URL out loud? “EurOut!” No? So it’s just me? Whatever. Go visit this site and auf Wedersehen and all that.
• Up Popped A Fox – When the pigs take over, hopefully the foxes will fight back in our honor.

Finally, if you are in or around San Francisco tonight, check out Marga Gomez, and it’s only $5.00, which means you can afford it, even if you’re collecting unemployment. So spend your welfare checks tonight and laugh as North America turns into a giant petri dish. Oink oink!