This post was sent in by Vikki of uppoppedafox.com.

—————————————————————–

Lesbians love The Environment. It combines two of their favorite things: an increased sense of political awareness and their love of a good cause. In the days of old, your Lesbian Street Cred was good if you recycled and brought your own bags to the co-op but the times are changing and the Lesbos are upping the ante.

It starts out simply. You are having a nice cup of Fair Trade coffee with your friend when you casually mention that you need to take your mower into the shop for a tune-up. She stops mid-sip and asks incredulously, “Are you still using a gas powered mower??” You hesitate and, without waiting for your answer, she begins to lecture you on the virtues of push reel mowers and ends her monologue with something frightening like, “You are killing the earth!? You love the earth! You drink Fair Trade coffee!”

Your words are empty, however, and you realize that you are clearly not doing your part. So, you run right out and buy yourself a push reel mower and set about your lawn care with a renewed commitment to the environment. The next time you see your friend, you proudly announce that you have switched to a push reel mower and she smiles broadly until you complain about the fact that you have to rake all those clippings off the lawn and bag them.

She shakes her head in a way that clearly communicates that you are a pathetic excuse for a lesbian and launches into a treatise on the merits of composting. So, you begin composting your yard waste and then she insists that all the lesbians she knows are composting all organic waste. You begin to compost all of your organics and she sets up worm composting in her basement. You follow suit and you are making all of this gorgeous soil for your flower beds and she comes over one day to find you watering your garden… with a hose… connected to a faucet.

You look into her eyes and see real tears and she sighs heavily before explaining the importance of a rain barrel for water conservation. So, you get a rain barrel and she begins leading a local Clean Water Action group. You start door knocking for the group and she moves on to direct action with Green Peace and this is how, one day, you find yourself chained to a manatee singing “We Shall Overcome” to an audience of disinterested seagulls.

As you sit there picking sand out of your teeth, you wonder how you got there and then you remember you are a lesbian and this is what we do.