Little known fact… well not that little known if you happen to be one of those lucky few who knows me in a “it’s a 2 for 1 Happy Hour and they’ve got Cherry Wheat on tap” sorta way. There are very few things in life that irk me. Children? Can’t get enough of them. Animals? Adore them (except horses but that’s a whole other blog post in itself). Geriatric drivers who can’t see over the steering wheel? Ok, I’ll admit it. They bug the crap out of me. But that’s easily rectified by blasting my radio.
There’s one thing, though, that pushes my buttons to no end. Self-appointed Grammar Police.
Lesbians like to play Grammar Police… No, scratch that. They LIVE for it. One missed comma. One misspelled word. A “your” instead of a “you’re” and presto! Suddenly, every PHD wielding, New Yorker subscribing, self-proclaimed “enlightened” lesbian in a 50 mile radius comes crawling out of the woodworks just to inform you of your glaring mistake.
Sure it’s tempting. On many of occasions, I too have succumbed to the urge. Chalk it up to a little bit of Schadenfreude and that overwhelming need to be overly competitive. And honestly there’s nothing really wrong with pointing out a “their vs. they’re” every now and then.
But most Grammar Police can’t just stop at one misused colon. Oh no! They not only give in to the urge but go that extra step to silently (or sometimes not so silently) judgments those that live in the land of typos. And it’s this that drives me up a wall.
I’d like to state for the record that typos, misplaced commas, even a wrong word now and then are ok. It’s happens… especially when one is pounding out a blog post at 3 am after working an 11 hr day.
So, the next time you feel that urge to show off your grammar superiority by pointing out a mistake, take a moment, stop, and think about the fact that you aren’t the only one who can still sing “Conjunction Junction” by heart.