Mar 8, 2008

Stuff Lesbians Like Part 5: The Post-Mullet By Grace Chu

Whenever a stupid school of thought is rejected and superseded by an even stupider school of thought, liberal arts types like to use the prefix “post” to denote the shift to the newer, more incomprehensible school of thought. People got tired of structuralism, so they invented post-structuralism. People got tired of modernism, so they invented post-modernism. People got tired of punk, so they invented post-punk.

Any concept bearing the prefix “post” usually cannot be defined or described with clarity. This is because anything bearing the word “post” means that its adopters suddenly decided that what existed before really sucked and moved on without formulating a real belief system. As a result, they can’t give you a good reason why it exists and instead embark on tortured circular arguments to explain what it is and why its emergence is justified. (Sort of like Republicans trying to explain the rationale behind the war in Iraq.)

Take for example, the mullet. Lesbians have been plagued by mullet jokes for decades. However, no lesbian nowadays actually sports the classic “business in the front, party in the back” mullet. The mullet has been rejected and superseded in favor of the post-mullet, which is a hairstyle so indescribable that any attempt to define it would be a useless exercise.

Christian Siriano (the winner of Project Runway and the guy in the right hand photo) may have a fierce post-mullet, but the asymmetric mop on his head doesn’t hold a candle to the hot messes some lesbians have dared to wear on their heads.For example, what the fuck is this?

http://www.gomag.com/album/go_magazines_5th_annivers/17/
(Is looking like your hair survived the Chernobyl disaster a prerequisite for appearing on Bravo?)

Or this?

http://www.gomag.com/album/go_magazines_5th_annivers/30/
(I can’t even think of anything witty. I’m stricken with shock and awe.)

Or this?

http://www.gomag.com/album/go_magazines_5th_annivers/4/
(I pity the foo’ whose head loses a fight with a lawnmower.)

This just goes to show that change is not always good. Although the classic mullet was a dreadful hairstyle, what came afterwards was far more terrifying.

9 Responses to “Stuff Lesbians Like Part 5: The Post-Mullet”

1. Sam Says:
   March 9th, 2008 at 12:48 am

   My hair sometimes resembles the ‘do in the first Go photo. I didn’t know it had a real title, though. I’ve always thought of it as the “post-having time to run a comb through that stuff just to impress people at the grocery store” style.

   But thanks for talking me out of re-doing the mullet!

2. Goober Says:
   March 9th, 2008 at 3:26 pm

   Chu – quit making fun of yourself. We like your post-mullet, we SWEAR.

3. Grace Chu Says:
   March 10th, 2008 at 11:31 pm

   Sam, anything I write on this blog about fashion or hairstyles should be treated as seriously as Ralph Nader’s run for the presidency.

   GO ON WITH YA BAD SELF!

4. anon Says:
   March 16th, 2008 at 10:59 am

   i actually think the girl in the first photo has HOT hair. and look at her ARMS. damn.

5. leila Says:
   July 16th, 2008 at 8:22 pm

   I think most of those are mohawks.

6. What the ?? Says:
   October 27th, 2008 at 12:49 am

   Um…there’s a Yes on 8 ad here. What the ?? I heard that this happened and that in reality, it’s a good thing because it’s a waste of their money since mostly gay or gay friendly people are seeing it.

7. Grace Rosen Says:
   October 27th, 2008 at 9:52 am

   If you are talking about the ad on the right column … it’s actually a pro same-sex marriage ad.

   The ads at the end of a post are posted by Google Ads, which is based on the content of the post. Sometimes … they get it “wrong” (i.e., post Pro Prop 8 versus No to Prop 8). The solace in this activity is that by being posted on this site 1) it’s rather useless because our readers are not interested, and 2) we are hindering the Pro people’s budget!

8. brittany Says:
   February 9th, 2009 at 3:41 am

   is it weird that those pictures didn’t shock me because half of my friends have similar hair styles? hahaha

9. Hanne Says:
   March 20th, 2010 at 4:59 pm

   One of my best friends has a hairstyle similar to that on the last link! Although it isn’t the “safest” hairstyle to be sporting, I think it looks great on my friend. She’s Asian, tall, slender and a dancer and dresses quite fierce ^^ I thinks these kinda hairstyles altogether are very standing tall or falling hard on the ground… Either it works like hell because you’re so fierce and awesome and has this attitude that shines all the way through, or you fail ’cause you can’t pull it off all the way. Sad but true

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